posted August 08, 2014 06:18 PM            

My story: I am female. I love working with children, teaching them and consoling them, but I do not want to have a child of my own. I am disconnected from the desire for maternity...I know a family is not for me. If I ever had a child, I would adopt. I have Moon trine Uranus, Moon in the 9th, Sun in the 10th, and my 5H ruler in the 8th opposite Uranus. It can be frustrating when other people reassure me that I will change my mind one day, and when I 'meet the right man' (which always amuses me because I am not interested in men). I'm sure many other women, regardless of orientation, have encountered this. It's annoying!

Do any of you feel this way? Do share your stories and placements. I'm very curious about this. Perhaps for females it relates to what aspects the Moon receives from Uranus, Saturn or Venus. For men, I'm not entirely sure...afflicted Mars, 5th house/5H ruler, possibly? For the other gender, it could be a combination of both. I'm looking forward to hearing your thoughts!

posted August 08, 2014 06:23 PM            

As for me, my 5th house is in Cap, and it supposed to delay childbirth. It hyas been true for me so far. I've been a party animal for like 28 years. Now I'm 31 (next week), in serious rs, and I'm still not sure, if I want to have children yet.

posted August 08, 2014 06:51 PM            

As for the reasons, wow, that takes some soul searching, doesn't it?

I suppose there are basic three reasons; one - I really am very maternal and protective and don't know that I could handle bringing a child into the world, such as it is. It would change me, but I don't think for the better. On my own, I can deal with my emotions, but with a child, I might become a full blown overprotective neurotic.

Two, I am scared of pregnancy, physically. Not that it might change my body or any other vain reason like that, I've had stretch-marks since early puberty so that's out of the way lol, I'm just really scared of the entire experience.

And three has to do with my own childhood and family I guess. A part is nature and a part is nurture. I have a few genetically-caused conditions that run in the family. They're really hard to deal with sometimes and I wouldn't wish to see someone I love so much struggle with it as well. It would not be fair to the child, imo. And as per nurture, my parents made a lot of mistakes with me and it hasn't been great. As a result, I'm very focused on thinking before I act and not repeat the same mistakes. You can control yourself and keep yourself conscious of what you're doing and saying and how that's affecting a child for a portion of your time, but there will be times when you'll be tired and slip and just do and say what was ingrained in you by your parents. Some of the mistakes my parents made on me were hurtful and I'd never want to repeat them on my own child. But I know that I would.

posted August 08, 2014 07:59 PM            

I don't want children either. I could throw a list of specific reasons but you know what? Not wanting them is enough. Don't feel obliged to explain yourself to people, you don't even have to tell them that you don't intend to be a mother. "It's none of your business" is all their entitled to hear.

Now let's get to astro:
Capricorn 5th house with Saturn and more stuff
Uranus in the 4th house quintile Moon
chart ruler Mercury in the 4th sextile Moon (too rational for this **** ?)
Moon square Venus
Moon square Saturn

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But I do intend to have children of my own (weird I know)

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posted August 08, 2014 08:35 PM            

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Originally posted by Liliya:
I have 2 friends, who have sworn to never have children. Unfortunately, I don't know their tob (well, their mums don't).

As for me, my 5th house is in Cap, and it supposed to delay childbirth. It hyas been true for me so far. I've been a party animal for like 28 years. Now I'm 31 (next week), in serious rs, and I'm still not sure, if I want to have children yet.

My vote goes for Saturn in 5th or 5th house in Cap.

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posted August 08, 2014 08:37 PM            

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Originally posted by PisceanDream:
Interesting thread. I'd love to hear more about this. I feel a general discomfort around children, a nervous energy. I usually dislike them and I feel very bad admitting this. But I do intend to have children of my own (weird I know). A lot of people tell me I'd be overly-attached to my kids, much to the surprise of my current and incessant detachment towards them. My 5th house Gem Moon is squared by my Venus. I wonder how much that contributes to that feeling.

Now that I'm (finally) back on my laptop, I'll be responding to you soon, darling. KISSSSSSSSSSES to the sweetest person on LL!

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Thank you! Kisses right back! I'm looking forward to e-mailing again soon. Take your time.

Thanks for sharing your story. Your description about how you feel when it comes to having kids makes me think of the heavy Saturn influence in your chart. When you say you'd probably have your own, it made me think of how Saturn can indicate not only a sense of insecurity about something, but also duty...do you mean that you would have children for the sake of making your true love happy?

posted August 08, 2014 08:44 PM            

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Originally posted by libran_dream:
I definitely relate. I am quite maternal, I like kids, they naturally gravitate to me and I like working with them, I can get very protective over children, but I do not want biological children of my own. I informed my family about this when I was 16, and they've been telling me I'll change my mind every year since... It's been almost 15 years and my decision has not changed one iota.

As for the reasons, wow, that takes some soul searching, doesn't it?

I suppose there are basic three reasons; one - I really am very maternal and protective and don't know that I could handle bringing a child into the world, such as it is. It would change me, but I don't think for the better. On my own, I can deal with my emotions, but with a child, I might become a full blown overprotective neurotic.

Two, I am scared of pregnancy, physically. Not that it might change my body or any other vain reason like that, I've had stretch-marks since early puberty so that's out of the way lol, I'm just really scared of the entire experience.

And three has to do with my own childhood and family I guess. A part is nature and a part is nurture. I have a few genetically-caused conditions that run in the family. They're really hard to deal with sometimes and I wouldn't wish to see someone I love so much struggle with it as well. It would not be fair to the child, imo. And as per nurture, my parents made a lot of mistakes with me and it hasn't been great. As a result, I'm very focused on thinking before I act and not repeat the same mistakes. You can control yourself and keep yourself conscious of what you're doing and saying and how that's affecting a child for a portion of your time, but there will be times when you'll be tired and slip and just do and say what was ingrained in you by your parents. Some of the mistakes my parents made on me were hurtful and I'd never want to repeat them on my own child. But I know that I would.

Sorry about the essay , but obviously it's something I've thought a lot about. Astrologically, I have the typical aspect for this - Moon conjunct Uranus.

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Please don't be apologetic, I loved your response and how thorough it is!

So sorry you've had similar experiences to me. We do sound quite alike. I knew from the age of 15 that I did not want to have a family because I am a careerist, and something never felt 'right' to me about having kids with a man. I came to the conclusion in the last year that I am gay, not bisexual, and it makes sense about why I always felt revolted about the idea of having a man's child.

I'm glad you shared your story and your reasoning with me. I feel overprotection, whether it relates to a child, a lover, a family member, friend, etc. is rooted in a fear of loss. Being overly concerned with something when there is no reason to be is definitely linked to anxiety. I feel like this with friends and lovers sometimes...it isn't unnatural, and it's even more expected for it to happen with your own kid. It sounds like it would be unpleasant for you to deal with it. And of course, passing down genetic/personality issues is a huge factor for many people. I can see that. It's not uncommon for women to fear pregnancy's physical effects, either.

posted August 08, 2014 08:50 PM            

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Originally posted by I'm so cappy:
Stay strong, scorpion! They will bingo you for many years to come but doing what's best for you is worth it.

I don't want children either. I could throw a list of specific reasons but you know what? Not wanting them is enough. Don't feel obliged to explain yourself to people, you don't even have to tell them that you don't intend to be a mother. "It's none of your business" is all their entitled to hear.

Now let's get to astro:
Capricorn 5th house with Saturn and more stuff
Uranus in the 4th house quintile Moon
chart ruler Mercury in the 4th sextile Moon (too rational for this **** ?)
Moon square Venus
Moon square Saturn

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Thanks! I'm trying my best to be patient with people who tell me things like that. Some of them are either pushy, ignorant, or both. No use arguing about it. I think that you are definitely right about not owing anyone an explanation as to 'why' you don't want kids. It's really no one's business but your own. I also find it incredibly sexist that many doctors say that they will not tie a woman's tubes because she 'hasn't met the right man yet', of course. I have known several women who have had this issue. And funny, one of them was already with a guy she loved and sure they both didn't want children, but her doctor just went on this tirade before they could interrupt. WTF...? You shouldn't have to propose an argument about why you don't want kids to be taken seriously by a doctor and have the procedure done, same goes with your family and friends. They should accept your choice without questioning it an asking for an argument to make them agree...

posted August 08, 2014 08:52 PM            

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Originally posted by sunflower-moon:
I feel the exact same way. I absolutely love working with kids, that's truly one of my main passions in life. But I am almost certain I don't want any of my own and, like you said, I'd be more interested in adopting.

My 5th house ruler is Saturn and I have Uranus, Neptune, and Saturn there. Saturn is opposite Moon as well.

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posted August 08, 2014 08:59 PM            

My late uncle was awesome with children, but never had any of his own.

Childbirth is only temp and the discomfort is for a little bit when you are healing. Nothing much to sweat about.

posted August 08, 2014 09:06 PM            

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Originally posted by Sagical:
I deeply wish that there were more honest people out there about staying child free. I deeply commend those who are true to what they want in life and follow their path because there are many who truly do not want to have children, but end up having them. Some poor children suffer from the consequences of it.

My late uncle was awesome with children, but never had any of his own.

Childbirth is only temp and the discomfort is for a little bit when you are healing. Nothing much to sweat about.

About the placements, I'm not too sure. Maybe a Cappy/Saturn in the 5th.

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posted August 08, 2014 09:26 PM            

Maybe later on, who knows.

posted August 08, 2014 11:01 PM            

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Originally posted by yellowelevator:
I've always been someone who for a long time now can't imagine myself having children. It isn't really a sexual thing, it's just I can't see myself being tied down to them. I think it would feel like too much a loss of a freedom for me. I'm not incredibly fond of children either, but I have found that sometimes they gravitate towards me or feel comfortable around me. I don't always feel comfortable around them though so it's funny. Sometimes I feel too awkward like I don't have that maternal thing about me.

Astrologically I have Moon trine Saturn, Moon sextile Chiron, Moon loosely square Venus and Jupiter (8-9 degrees), Moon loosely conjunct Mars, Moon square MC. Pluto is in the 5th. I also attribute having Uranus in the 7th too actually, because of the loss of freedom thing in relationships.

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posted August 08, 2014 11:47 PM            

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Originally posted by DeepFreeze:
We have different aspects and I'm not sure of our age difference but both Leo with Gemini moon.
I was exactly the same for years and years.
I'm finally ready.
A lot of it was actually just that I didn't want children with someone who I knew in my subconscious SOMEWHERE that we wouldn't be together forever.
I'm ready now though - excited!

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I am almost 22.

posted August 09, 2014 02:02 AM            

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Originally posted by Doux Rêve:
I wouldn't say "really," but currently I can't imagine myself with kids.

Maybe later on, who knows.

Sat. opp. Moon on the 11H/5H axis.

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posted August 09, 2014 02:09 AM            

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Originally posted by yellowelevator:
I've always been someone who for a long time now can't imagine myself having children. It isn't really a sexual thing, it's just I can't see myself being tied down to them. I think it would feel like too much a loss of a freedom for me. I'm not incredibly fond of children either, but I have found that sometimes they gravitate towards me or feel comfortable around me. I don't always feel comfortable around them though so it's funny. Sometimes I feel too awkward like I don't have that maternal thing about me.

Astrologically I have Moon trine Saturn, Moon sextile Chiron, Moon loosely square Venus and Jupiter (8-9 degrees), Moon loosely conjunct Mars, Moon square MC. Pluto is in the 5th. I also attribute having Uranus in the 7th too actually, because of the loss of freedom thing in relationships.

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Wow! You sound just like me. Intriguing. I feel like my upbringing did not allow me the ability to settle down and parent. My parents were erratic and changeable. I never had a strong sense of what a stable home life is like. Therefore, I'm a freedom seeker. Roots aren't important to me. The idea of having stability before my late 40s is not appealing...if I ever adopted a kid, it would be later in life.

posted August 09, 2014 02:14 AM            

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Originally posted by starmoon:
i think the placements of a woman who is lets say over 40 already and didn't have kids is much more interesting than questioning a bunch of teens and 20somethings who have years to change their minds. it'd be more accurate to see placements of older women who never had them imo

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posted August 09, 2014 02:15 AM            

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Originally posted by yellowelevator:
I am almost 22.

And really? That makes a lot of sense - I wonder if that's at play for me too at this point. But that is really awesome, I'm glad you're excited and ready for the adventure! I'm sure it'll be worth the wait and the indecision.

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My 5th house ruler is Uranus and her Venus conjuncts it. I just now thought of that.
That could be a large part of it.

posted August 09, 2014 02:22 AM            

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Originally posted by starmoon:
i think the placements of a woman who is lets say over 40 already and didn't have kids is much more interesting than questioning a bunch of teens and 20somethings who have years to change their minds. it'd be more accurate to see placements of older women who never had them imo

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posted August 09, 2014 02:23 AM            

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Originally posted by hannaramaa:
I've always been staunch on not wanting children, but I think if I met someone who wanted them and we got married and I thought he pooped glitter...I would have them. I'm kind of protective anyway, so I'm sure I could swing it and I like the idea of raising a legend.

In the case that never happens though I wouldn't be heartbroken. I have Pluto in the 5th. In fact, I'd prefer adopting kids vs. having my own. Something about it not being MINE and my own sweat and blood and tears - that's appealing to me. And more comfortable.

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