posted September 11, 2014 01:58 PM            

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Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
Maybe you show your affection through acts of service and prefer hearing words of affirmation?

Sometimes what we do to our loved ones-at least in showing them that we care- is also a reflection of what we would like done to us also.

If your lover were to tell you just how much they appreciate you and love you but aren't BIG on acts of service. Would that bother you?

Or what is they are HUGE on acts of service but are not that articulate in expressing their feelings about you. Would that be fine?

There is always that 1 that you simply cannot do without. It is necessary. You may go on empty on the other and go very far, but without that specific one. You feel undervalued.

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Hmmmm you're right. I would definitely pick Words of Affirmation then as my absolute top. After thinking about it, it really soothes me when my partner verbally affirms his feelings. I think even if he bent over backwards for me everyday, all day I would feel like something is missing. I think the importance of communication in general is a HUGE theme in my chart so this does not surprise me.

I maintained a long-distance relationship with ease and I think it was because he was very good about expressing himself verbally to me. I survived without the physical contact etc. because of this I think (though it was still tough at times to be apart).

posted September 11, 2014 02:05 PM            

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Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
Have you taken the test though. There must be one/two that you favour.

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I started taking the test and came to the question, "Would you prefer a hug or love note?" And I thought, "Well, it would depend on who I was with..."

Because I've had exes who wrote love notes but didn't hug so readily...and others who hugged but didn't verbalize...what I like is balance.

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Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
The fact that you mentioned that you want your partner to "get" you suggests that you want bonding and intimacy above all. I could be wrong.

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Doesn't everyone?

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Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
If you are not keen on being particular, would a lover that gives you all the physical intimacy that you want but spares the gift-giving part. Would that be cool?

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Love is a gift ~ yes that'd be fine. However, if I were poor, a lavish gift might hit the spot. I really think it's not "me" but the circumstances that determine needs.

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Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
Or say the person performed many acts of service for you but wasn't spending alone time with you. Would that also be okay?

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Like I said, it all depends! Sorry to be so contrarian.

posted September 11, 2014 02:16 PM            

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Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
I think that the one who is asking for hugs has the "Physical touch" language. And without it, they don't feel appreciated. So your friend should give this willingly-if interested to keep their mate.

But its very good observation on your part. By observing them, you know what you want for yourself(another way to ascertain you love language).

I am not big on gifts. Never received any as a kid. But what I insist upon is One-on-one intimacy.I felt constantly ignored by my father when I was growing up.He had his Moon in Capricorn.

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Oh with his Cancer moon? Definitely a physical touch person! She has Capricorn moon, so I wonder if she is too but feels awkward initiating it. I have Moon trine Saturn and initiating anything other than communication is anxiety-producing.

posted September 12, 2014 03:29 AM            

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Originally posted by AlexDern:
I'm a Capricorn If it does you fine thank you.

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posted September 12, 2014 03:31 AM            

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Originally posted by I'm so cappy:
I think it wouldn't hurt to analyze asteroids like Psyche, Amor, Eros, Anteros, Valentine and Ceres.

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posted September 12, 2014 03:35 AM            

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Originally posted by carm76:
Acts of Service
Physical Touch
Words of Affirmation
Quality Time
Receiving Gifts

Cap 7H Venus
Sag 6H Mars (in stellium)
Abusive Childhood
Scorpio Husband

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Another earth Venus who prefers "Acts of service". Interesting. Where is your Moon?

I do think that our childhood plays a role in the kind of love we want. When someone gives us the love we failed to receive as children, it can heal past hurt.

posted September 12, 2014 03:39 AM            

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Originally posted by margym0o:
Hmmmm you're right. I would definitely pick Words of Affirmation then as my absolute top. After thinking about it, it really soothes me when my partner verbally affirms his feelings. I think even if he bent over backwards for me everyday, all day I would feel like something is missing. I think the importance of communication in general is a HUGE theme in my chart so this does not surprise me.

I maintained a long-distance relationship with ease and I think it was because he was very good about expressing himself verbally to me. I survived without the physical contact etc. because of this I think (though it was still tough at times to be apart).

I think I do Acts of Service for my partner though to try and show him how much I really care. I'm always doing little things to help or to show that I'm thinking about him, even if he doesn't ask me to. Not sure how this translates back but I really should ask him what he thinks about all of this in case I'm getting it all wrong lol

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Very good. I like the whole "doing without physical contact stuff" whilst you guys were far apart. Nothing makes the language that you speak scream louder than that.

After that experience you just know what you cannot bear to live without. Like that

I also do small acts of service to show someone I care.But I have had to readjust it a little because my current BF seems to love the physical contact thing a lot.

posted September 12, 2014 03:44 AM            

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Originally posted by Faith:
Like I said, it all depends! Sorry to be so contrarian.
AquaMercuryStrikesAgain

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I don't think you being that "contrarian" at all.

I think that you are speaking for a community of you; seeing things from every perspective and finding it useless to identify with one.

But I wasn't speaking to a community of you. I was speaking to the president to the community-in their own personal capacity. Outside of being a representative of the "whole".

posted September 12, 2014 03:47 AM            

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Originally posted by hannaramaa:
Oh with his Cancer moon? Definitely a physical touch person! She has Capricorn moon, so I wonder if she is too but feels awkward initiating it. I have Moon trine Saturn and initiating anything other than communication is anxiety-producing.

I'm not big on gifts at all! My parents would give me lavish gifts to make up for how they treated me or when they felt guilty and now that I'm older with my own opinions I just think that's so lazy. No hate on my parents - it's not like I could tell them my love language when I was 14, but that ritual devalued what gifts could mean to me.

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There is also a book out that speaks of the Love Language for Teenagers...I think.

Often parents give the kind of "love" that they deem appropriate i.e "I give you a home and food. What more do you want from me?" etc.

posted September 12, 2014 03:53 AM            

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Originally posted by bansheequeen:
One on one time and physical touch.

Cap Venus in 4th house. Taurus Mars in 8th house.

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Where is your Moon?

Physical touch is a big thing for Taurus Mars.

posted September 12, 2014 04:10 AM            

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Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:

[b]3. One on one time.

This one here is my type of loving.

This is when you make time to give your partner one-on one time with you. Devote your exclusive attention to them and "connect"

This is when you get a babysitter for the kids and go out with your partner as if you two are still on your early dating years.

This is when you make reservations for two at a hotel/getaway so that you and your significant other can be alone and away from the world. Get to really dig deep into each(sex is not mandatory but can happen )[/B]

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This is my top preference too :-)
Libra Mars/Capricorn Venus

"I would have guessed "Acts of Service"/Words of affirmation for the Cap Venus.Hmmm"

posted September 12, 2014 04:14 AM            

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Originally posted by Lonake:
This is my top preference too :-)
Libra Mars/Capricorn Venus

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There is no other positions that I seem to just "get" as easily as Sag,Aquarius,Scorpio and Libra in anything.

I especially seem to "get" Libra Mars instinctively.

posted September 12, 2014 09:02 AM            

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Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
There is no other positions that I seem to just "get" as easily as Sag,Aquarius,Scorpio and Libra in anything.

I especially seem to "get" Libra Mars instinctively.

Right on

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Off topic but please share your wisdom on how to please a Libra Mars with me errrr us because it would be good to know

posted September 12, 2014 10:00 AM            

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Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
I think that you are speaking for a community of you; seeing things from every perspective and finding it useless to identify with one.

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Observant! Well I have a splash chart so no wonder....

quote:

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Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
But I wasn't speaking to a community of you. I was speaking to the president to the community-in their own personal capacity. Outside of being a representative of the "whole".

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posted September 12, 2014 01:54 PM            

Venus Libra
Mars Gemini

posted September 12, 2014 05:50 PM            

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Originally posted by margym0o:
Off topic but please share your wisdom on how to please a Libra Mars with me errrr us because it would be good to know

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Mars in Libra exerts a lot of energy creating beauty and making peace.

Well speaking for myself as a Mars in Libra and not the "community", I would say that
Libra likes togetherness, fun, group activities,being in the presence of their partner and expressive tokens of love in partnerships.

So you must sweet talk, flirt with words and make them feel beautiful by the look of your eyes.

Respond with enthusiasm. Keep the interaction clean and look at both sides of every situation.

Touch lightly on the hand or shoulders a lot and when you interrupt,start with "I'm sorry to interrupt you ..." or when you ask a question, start with "I could be wrong, but is it right for someone to say..."

Use gentle manners of persuasion like "have you considered?" "Is it possible" or "What if it was like this?" etc.

Use the Libra Mars person's name sparingly when you speak to them and quote them often. They like to be listened to and have people be on the same wavelength as they are.

posted September 12, 2014 05:52 PM            

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Originally posted by Faith:
Well my Capricorn sun probably likes "words of affirmation" best if that's what you mean.

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That's exactly what I meant.

posted September 12, 2014 05:55 PM            

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Originally posted by Selene:
I took a test and Words of affirmation got the prize!
Venus Libra
Mars Gemini
I think really appropriate to those airy signs!

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This is odd because I'd think I would score high on words of affirmation since, like you, I have an air Mars.

But I tend to forget what people "say" and pay more attention to what people "do".

So, I really would say that that words of affirmation against the backdrop of "Acts of Service" is best.

posted September 12, 2014 08:18 PM            

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Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
That's exactly what I meant.

You can go back to being the spokesperson for the "community" now

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What, without any words of affirmation? No "Good job Faith, I knew you'd get the swing of this, you smart cookie you." ???

posted September 12, 2014 08:27 PM            

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Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
Are those the equivalents of Venus/Mars? Haven't looked mine up. Hmmmm

Quality time makes sense.Gemini likes to talk and loves an audience-even if its just one person.

And gifts? Well, I know a few Gemini people who are BIG shoppers.They love the latest cellphones/car models and so I guess this makes sense too.

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Yes! Thank you, they are.

posted September 12, 2014 08:48 PM            

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Originally posted by AlexDern:
Ahhh yes...the Greeks also had many types of love and then their civilization disintegrated and collapsed slowly over time like a rot.

There are many shades of gray and black but only one shade of love. WE either love or we do not.

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You're saying they were destroyed because they could tell the difference between romantic love, platonic love, familial love, and all that? How so?

posted September 12, 2014 08:55 PM            

Yeah, I guess "quality time" is required, though not constant, that is quality over quantity (in fact, trying to be my shadow is a good way to drive me away). That said, I prefer to give acts of service and sometimes have to be careful not to spoil rotten (and possibly why I'm so adaptable in how I relate to someone). And I really do treasure gifts when they have deep meaning (and these are the types I prefer to give to someone close), including hand made, but it's not "required."

3H Libra (Scorpio cusp) venus in stellium, 5H Sag Mars in stellium.

I should throw in that a lot of this stuff is true of friends, family I'm close to, even pets.

posted September 12, 2014 10:17 PM            

One on one time is absolutely the most important factor in any kind of relationship for me, friendship or otherwise. I really appreciate tokens of affection but they don't have to be frequent. I really like personalized, unique gifts here and there that come from the heart, not just a gift card, shopping trip, etc.

My second most important factor is acts of service. My Moon is in Virgo and I like to do little things for friends and romantic partners in order to make their days a little easier. I'm especially good at listening and offering advice. I need friends and romantic partners who don't mind doing the same for me now and again.

Finally, the other factor from this list is physical affection. As a Mars-Pluto person, physical affection in a romantic relationship is a must. If there's no physical chemistry, I'm very unhappy. It's not easy for me to warm up to a friend, however, and be physically affectionate right away. Even in general it used to be hard for me to be physically close to people but now I'm better when it comes to giving friends hugs.

Like the OP, interestingly enough, I always feel like something or some key factor is 'missing' and I'm not sure why. It happens more with romantic relationships than friendships. I think that the main issue is a lack of balance [and how fitting for a Libra Sun to have these balance issues, right? ]. I'll have too much of one love language factor with my partner and not enough of another. I.e., too much of an emphasis on sex/physical affection and not enough emphasis on acts of service or one on one time.