posted September 11, 2014 09:08 AM
I was reading Gary Chapman's book entitled; "the 5 Love Languages" the other day.The book explores how we need to receive and give love that speaks to US.
How many times have we been in a relationship where we feel "unloved",no matter how many times our partner professes their love? Or the many times that we feel lonely even if we are in a relationship?
Well, in the book the author explores how it is necessary to not only know our lover's "love language" but also our own.
This not only helps us give the kind of love that is appreciated and heartfelt,but be able to receive it too.
So what are the 5 Love languages? Well,in no particular order of importance.
1. Words of affirmation.
This is when someone says "I love you, "you are so kind", "my goodness, you are handsome", "you are so special to me", "you are such a great person" etc.
These words seem to signal to the person who hears them that they are loved and they then feel that much closer to their partner and feel appreciated.
2.Gifts and material tokens.
This is when you spoil your partner by buying them things and giving them gifts as a token of your love i.e bracelets, sentimental items, dining at expensive restaurants,buy them a car, shopping sprees,jewellery etc.
It may seem like this type of loving is exclusive to females. But don't be fooled. There are many men who appreciate this kind of love.And I am not referring to the "toy boy" types that expect to be maintained.
Some guys appreciate it when their significant other buys them/sows them a scarf,buys them tickets to the latest sports game,buys them a new jacket.Even underwear etc.
To these guys, owning something that was given as a gift by their partners makes them smile from ear to ear. And they tend to cherish it a great deal.
3. One on one time.
This one here is my type of loving.
This is when you make time to give your partner one-on one time with you. Devote your exclusive attention to them and "connect"
This is when you get a babysitter for the kids and go out with your partner as if you two are still on your early dating years.
This is when you make reservations for two at a hotel/getaway so that you and your significant other can be alone and away from the world. Get to really dig deep into each(sex is not mandatory but can happen 
)
4.Acts of service.
This is when you do something selfless for your lover; make up their bed,open the door for them, plan a surprise birthday party for them,clean their laundry,make them dinner or even listen to their frustrations about work etc.
This act of love is often taken for granted in heterosexual relationships but is often a definitive base in same-sex relations.
It is often "expected"(especially of women) to give this kind of loving freely as a mandatory part in marriage.
As a result many men overlook it/take it for granted and often make their wives feel under-appreciated.
On the other hand, there are men who realize that this is an act of love. So these men appreciate their women in marriage who do these small acts of kindness for them and return the favour.
This strengthens their partnerships and promotes equal sharing in relationships.
Especially in gay relationships
5. Physical affection.
As much as this is seen as the domain of many men(and often "pivotal" in gay male-male relations) this is not always so. Some women insist on this too but may be shy/indirect in expressing it.
This affection is not only sex. But also includes holding hands,hugging, kissing, brushing hair,massaging,rubbing up against each other,knee contact etc.
For these people the touch says "I love you" and "you are appreciated". They want their lover to "savour" them and be physically affectionate towards them.
Interestingly,not all men are as physical and insist on sex as a show of affection(including gay men). This is a false premise.
But men who like this as a form of expression do not want the contact to always lead to sex(it may, but not always).They just want to be cuddled or held etc.
____________________________________________
So, having said all this. I was wondering which love style applies to each of you?
What is your Venus/Mars sign and what Love language speaks to you?
I have Venus in Scorpio and Mars in Libra and One on one contact and special time applies to me.
I have seen many of my relationships fall apart because I felt something "missing". Not fully being able to articulate it. But I think this is it.
I think I could attribute my love language more to Mars in Libra than Venus in Scorpio though.
For those of you who may not be certain as to which applies mostly to you,you can take the test here; www.5lovelanguages.com
Lindaland
UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone! 
posted September 11, 2014 09:08 AM
