posted October 14, 2014 08:44 PM            

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Originally posted by DeepFreeze:
Oh, constant head vs heart. They rarely agree. My head does win most of the time and then my heart drives my mind crazy with "what ifs".

That description does fit me. I was so shy when young. When I was 13 a kid at school asked me to speak because he wasn't sure if I even could.
Anyway, getting older I've learned to hide what I need to while appearing as though I'm hiding nothing.
A clearer vision of what I want and need and who I am.
My identity... When younger it tormented me. That 12th kicked my @$$, wondering where I fit in. But now, I know it, understand it and accept it. If you don't, it'll eat you alive.
Bed time so I kind of shortened things up. Haha

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I'm glad to hear you've gotten a handle on it all with time. I was very shy as a kid myself but grew to become more extroverted with time. I liked what you said about learning to hide what you need and coming off as though you're hiding nothing. I relate to that 100%. Some of my best friends would be shocked to hear of the things that wear and weigh me down, the things I cry about that keep me up at night. Interestingly enough, the ruler of my 12th is also in my 1st. So these 2 houses feed each other... Almost as if my 1st house stellium goes to the 12th to dissect itself then the 12th brings what it taught me back into the 1st for integration.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings. You may have just opened up your heart even a little bit, but it honestly helped me understand some of my issues better. (Also, what an early bed time! )

posted October 14, 2014 09:26 PM            

Anyway you're welcome.
My chart ruler (Venus) is in 12.
Mercury, my strongest planet, communication...and Mars, action, all tied together. Mercury conjunct both and Mars conjunct asc.
So, it comes out quite a bit.

posted October 14, 2014 10:03 PM            

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Originally posted by Selene:
And i will tell you more. My 11th house Jupiter in Leo gives me many influential friends - meaning that they have helped me raise my social status a lot and helped with my career. But the thing is - i would need something deeper but it isn't there. So many shallow contacts yet beneficial for my status and stuff, nothing to my heart and soul...

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Girl there is nothing wrong with being a loner. Yes, admit it and feel good about it while you're at it. I hate when people associate unhappiness or loneliness with being a loner. It's not like that. You can be a happy and unlonely loner or the most miserable extrovert. I am a loner living in an extrovert's shell.

I'm starting to think perhaps, for those of us that lack depth and meaningfulness in our relationships, that we should look at the 12th house ruler. Aspects to that ruler should be very important to us (in natal and synastry). I think part of the reason I crave such a strong, deep, spiritual bond is because my 12th house ruler (Saturn) is tightly conjunct my 5th (Mercury), 7th (Sun), and 8th (Mercury) house rulers. The two men I loved the most were both Capricorns with 10th house placements. My closest girl friends are always Caps or Saturnine. Try to see if there's a pattern with the 12th ruler... Let me know if you find anything.

posted October 14, 2014 10:20 PM            

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Originally posted by DeepFreeze:
I get up early too!

Anyway you're welcome.
My chart ruler (Venus) is in 12.
Mercury, my strongest planet, communication...and Mars, action, all tied together. Mercury conjunct both and Mars conjunct asc.
So, it comes out quite a bit.

I'm sure yours does also with a 1/12 connection.

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In July I used to sleep at 8 am and wake up at 6pm. It was horrible. Now, no matter how late I sleep (usually around midnight) I wake up anywhere between 7.45-9 am. And it's awesome waking up early. Who would have thought?

posted October 14, 2014 10:54 PM            

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Originally posted by DeepFreeze:
My mercury is 24 Virgo.
Soooooooo.. Taurus decan?

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