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Author
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Topic: Scaring men
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whaaat
Knowflake Posts: 658
From: Portland, MA,U.S
Registered: Jun 2013
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posted January 15, 2015 05:48 PM
  
quote:
Originally posted by GeminiKarat:
Stay strong. That approach has always been fun and it should not be scary.I wish you all the best! 
Thank you!  IP: Logged |
socialgraffiti
Knowflake Posts: 522
From:
Registered: Jul 2013
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posted January 15, 2015 11:43 PM
quote:
Originally posted by whaaat:
From what I see of your posts...
Hahaha, perfect response! A lot of guys claim that I'm very intimidating/unapproachable, though I've never really thought of myself that way. IMO, I'm pretty easy to get along with, but apparently not. I think for women especially, gender roles make it so their feminity is based on their Moon and Venus signs. My Moon is in Aquarius, so I guess it makes me very hard to read. My expression has been called a "permanent poker face." My Venus is in Capricorn, and even though Capricorn is technically a feminine sign, Saturn makes it anything but approachable, lol.
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aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 12103
From: Wankety Wankerson
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted January 16, 2015 02:03 AM
quote:
Originally posted by PixieJane:
Yes, I've seen girls do it, too. But not guys.
I really feel sorry for the painfully shy guys who might go that route. There is no way in heck that it would work so they don't really have any options besides online dating, which sucks most of the time. Society doesn't really have any sympathy for shy people, especially shy men. Men are supposed to be "confident", gah I hate that word. IP: Logged |
whaaat
Knowflake Posts: 658
From: Portland, MA,U.S
Registered: Jun 2013
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posted January 16, 2015 03:12 AM
html won't workIP: Logged |
whaaat
Knowflake Posts: 658
From: Portland, MA,U.S
Registered: Jun 2013
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posted January 16, 2015 03:15 AM
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
I really feel sorry for the painfully shy guys who might go that route. There is no way in heck that it would work so they don't really have any options besides online dating, which sucks most of the time. Society doesn't really have any sympathy for shy people, especially shy men. Men are supposed to be "confident", gah I hate that word.
Demure modesty is what lights my fire though  8th house in Pisces here I mean come on lol.
A shy and MODEST guy is a huge turn on for a lot of women. Passive aggressive entitled 'nice guys' are not. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 12103
From: Wankety Wankerson
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted January 16, 2015 04:23 AM
I can tell that you are being a smarta** and trying to start an argument, but I'm not going to fall into your trap.  We are not talking about nice guys anyways, we are talking about shy guys, they aren't always one and the same. There are some guys who are so shy that they won't even talk to women,much less make moves on them. I personally know a guy that is 25 and has never asked a girl out. Women can say they love shy guys until the cows come home, but they are not into that level of shyness. If they were they wouldn't expect men to make all the moves 9 times out of 10. I can't recall an instance where I've seen a woman make the first move on a guy. That's why I feel sorry for guys who are really shy. If you are a guy and you are too shy to approach and chat up women your chances of finding a girlfriend are slim to none. #truthIP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 12103
From: Wankety Wankerson
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted January 16, 2015 04:27 AM
Oh and I find it hilarious that you are implying that i'm passive aggressive when you are the one being passive aggressive. That's what you call projecting your own character flaws onto someone else. IP: Logged |
whaaat
Knowflake Posts: 658
From: Portland, MA,U.S
Registered: Jun 2013
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posted January 16, 2015 04:42 AM
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
If they were they wouldn't expect men to make all the moves 9 times out of 10.
You'd be surprised
I can't recall an instance where I've seen a woman make the first move on a guy.
Then I doubt you known any good looking guys. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 12103
From: Wankety Wankerson
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted January 16, 2015 04:54 AM
quote:
Originally posted by whaaat:
You'd be surprised [b]
I can't recall an instance where I've seen a woman make the first move on a guy. Then I doubt you've known many good looking guys. [/B]
I know plenty of guys. Some are good looking and some aren't, but I've never seen women make moves on them, it just hasn't happened. I've been to bars and parties and it's always the same thing... You see the loud extroverted meatheads with the women and the shy guys sitting alone, playing pool,or talking to their friends/other guys. If I was going to go to a club tonight with my friends and we all agreed that we weren't going to approach women I could guarantee you that none of us would end up dancing with women or getting lucky and going home with them. (which won't happen because I hate clubs, but the point still stands) Generally, it's on the man to make the first move or things won't ever happen with a woman. Having said that... I'm not saying that women never make the first move, i'm just saying it rarely happens and i've never seen it or experienced it myself. Think of it this way..... Thousands or even millions of people may buy a ticket in hopes of winning the lottery jackpot but only one person will win it. You are essentially saying " bu bu bu but some people win the jackpot!" which is partly true, but it happens so infrequently that it's statistically irrelevant. It's the same with shy men.... Some may get lucky and get picked up by a girl once in a blue moon but generally shy men are going to get beat out by the extroverted guys. That's just the way it is and if you deny that you aren't living in reality.
IP: Logged |
whaaat
Knowflake Posts: 658
From: Portland, MA,U.S
Registered: Jun 2013
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posted January 16, 2015 04:54 AM
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
Oh and I find it hilarious that you are implying that i'm passive aggressive when you are the one being passive aggressive.
Well, what can I say? It amuses me.
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aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 12103
From: Wankety Wankerson
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted January 16, 2015 05:12 AM
Your OP confirms my point!!! You say that you like shy guys but admit that you've never dated because guys never approach you directly. If you were being honest when you say you like shy men you would be dating someone because you would actually approach these shy guys that supposedly "light your fire". Have you ever approached a guy and let him know that you were interested in no uncertain terms? Subtle hints don't count  IP: Logged |
whaaat
Knowflake Posts: 658
From: Portland, MA,U.S
Registered: Jun 2013
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posted January 16, 2015 05:13 AM
@aquaguy
alas, such is the man's sorrowful lot
 IP: Logged |
whaaat
Knowflake Posts: 658
From: Portland, MA,U.S
Registered: Jun 2013
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posted January 16, 2015 05:25 AM
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
Your OP confirms my point!!! You say that you like shy guys but admit that you've never dated because guys never approach you directly. If you were being honest when you say you like shy men you would be dating someone because you would actually approach these shy guys that supposedly "light your fire". Have you ever approached a guy and let him know that you were interested in no uncertain terms? Subtle hints don't count
I didn't date anyone yet because I'm young, but
IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 12103
From: Wankety Wankerson
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted January 16, 2015 05:28 AM
Typical catty female behavior
When you are confronted with facts you can't come up with any good counter-arguments, you just become catty and insulting. I enjoy when this happens because that's when I know that i've won the argument and proven my point. IP: Logged |
whaaat
Knowflake Posts: 658
From: Portland, MA,U.S
Registered: Jun 2013
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posted January 16, 2015 05:29 AM
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
Typical catty female behavior
When you are confronted with facts you can't come up with any good counter-arguments, you just become catty and insulting. I enjoy when this happens because that's when I know that i've won the argument and proven my point.
What are you talking about, I'm hilarious IP: Logged |
whaaat
Knowflake Posts: 658
From: Portland, MA,U.S
Registered: Jun 2013
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posted January 16, 2015 05:46 AM
@aquaguy
just messing with ya, it's all in good fun <3IP: Logged |
wheresthemoon
Knowflake Posts: 844
From: Texas
Registered: Aug 2014
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posted January 16, 2015 05:06 PM
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
Typical catty female behavior
Wow. IP: Logged |
Xodian
Knowflake Posts: 962
From: Canada
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 16, 2015 07:04 PM
quote:
Originally posted by PixieJane:
I'm curious how it works, can you describe it (including a bit on what kind of club or campus or whatever this was)? 
It was University . University of Toronto: St. George Campus to be exact. Basically, there are guys out there who have all the right stuff. They are good guys with amazing personalities, great looks, respectful, just wonderful people all around. However, in our fast paced world where you do have to take the initiative to "present" yourself, their shy demeanor leaves them un-noticed and that IMO is just sad because there are plenty of women out there who are looking for guys just like them but end up not noticing them. Enter the teaser Lol! Think of it as being an informal salesman/matchmaker. You initiate a conversation with a female with the intention of introducing the shy fellow to her. If she is physically and mentally attracted to him and once she gets to know him better, she will probably take him out for a test drive; And after that... You let nature take its course Lol! quote:
Originally posted by GeminiKarat:
That is an old style approach b.f. (= before facebook). There is a saying: “Never kill the messenger!”1. The messenger is the strong personality
2. The boy in the back is the shy personality
3. The woman can decide which guy she wants to have. The words were a little bit different than today. Something like: „This man over there is too shy to tell you that you are a beautiful, shining person. Is there any chance that you talk to him?”<--That differs from messenger to messenger.
And Geminikarat presented the concept way better than I could ever have! Thankyou BTW .
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venus2tinkerbell
unregistered
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posted January 16, 2015 07:59 PM
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by whaaat:
[b] You'd be surprised [b]
I can't recall an instance where I've seen a woman make the first move on a guy. Then I doubt you've known many good looking guys. [/B]
I know plenty of guys. Some are good looking and some aren't, but I've never seen women make moves on them, it just hasn't happened. I've been to bars and parties and it's always the same thing... You see the loud extroverted meatheads with the women and the shy guys sitting alone, playing pool,or talking to their friends/other guys. If I was going to go to a club tonight with my friends and we all agreed that we weren't going to approach women I could guarantee you that none of us would end up dancing with women or getting lucky and going home with them. (which won't happen because I hate clubs, but the point still stands) Generally, it's on the man to make the first move or things won't ever happen with a woman. Having said that... I'm not saying that women never make the first move, i'm just saying it rarely happens and i've never seen it or experienced it myself. Think of it this way..... Thousands or even millions of people may buy a ticket in hopes of winning the lottery jackpot but only one person will win it. You are essentially saying " bu bu bu but some people win the jackpot!" which is partly true, but it happens so infrequently that it's statistically irrelevant. It's the same with shy men.... Some may get lucky and get picked up by a girl once in a blue moon but generally shy men are going to get beat out by the extroverted guys. That's just the way it is and if you deny that you aren't living in reality. [/B][/QUOTE]
generally speaking, I think age makes a big difference. Women who aren't already married by the time they are in their 30s usually have a career. That experience and life experience in general makes it easier for women to approach any man they want. Shy guys are loved at any age, but they probably get more action after 30.IP: Logged |
venus2tinkerbell
unregistered
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posted January 16, 2015 08:01 PM
Dagnarn quotes won't work on my phoneIP: Logged |
GemBird82
Knowflake Posts: 907
From: Female bird from France
Registered: Feb 2014
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posted January 16, 2015 08:20 PM
quote:
Originally posted by whaaat:
Which aspects do you think are in play here?
Hi,
My personal thoughts would be that a disconnection factor leads to this. 'Certain' aspects between Sun and ASC
Sun (what you are)
ASC (How you are perceived) So,
Sun quincunx Ascendant or Sun Square ascendant would do it.
----------------------- I will be really surprised if this kind of peculiarity about "perception" happens with people Sun Trine Ascendant, because, basically both natures are Similar.
P.S.
- Aspects between ASC and Mars could also lead to this, but I'm not really sure.  ~ Just my half a cent IP: Logged |
GemBird82
Knowflake Posts: 907
From: Female bird from France
Registered: Feb 2014
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posted January 16, 2015 08:49 PM
...And if you have trouble finding a confident guy.First of all, you should walk away from defensive people. - Male and Female natures are not meant to confront each other, so, any clash would be really unnecessary and unwise (well, at least for me).
As obvious, in life you'll meet many people.
----------------------------- And one special kind, are the ones who deeply need to repeat themselves how great they are. (I call them 'the funny ones' )
So, they keep telling everyone that they are brave and strong and furthermore blah blah blah (which is totally false, 'cause if they were, there wouldn't be any reason to overcompensante. That's... He-heh. Lame ) So, if what you need is someone confident enough.
My advice will be. Look for your guy where confidence reigns: The Gym
( Pilates is amazing to defend your body against Stress! ) ~ Good Night.
Bye
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Choc
Knowflake Posts: 618
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 16, 2015 09:11 PM
quote:
I can't recall an instance where I've seen a woman make the first move on a guy.
Yo, nice to meet you.
I would say I'm at a point in my life where I don't buy the "men make the first move" bs.
IMO if a guy is confident in his own masculinity, he wouldn't have a problem being approached by a woman first.IP: Logged |
GemBird82
Knowflake Posts: 907
From: Female bird from France
Registered: Feb 2014
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posted January 16, 2015 09:13 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Choc:
if a guy is confident in his own masculinity, he wouldn't have a problem being approached by a woman first.
IP: Logged |
PixieJane
Moderator Posts: 9170
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted January 16, 2015 09:47 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Choc:
Yo, nice to meet you.
I would say I'm at a point in my life where I don't buy the "men make the first move" bs.
IMO if a guy is confident in his own masculinity, he wouldn't have a problem being approached by a woman first.
To be fair I'm sure Aquaguy is talking about the straight up moves as opposed to flirting, hints, casual introductions (though plenty of women, just like men as Aquaguy, don't believe men and women can "just be friends" so in their view casual introductions would be "putting the moves" on), manipulation, and creating an opportunity for the man to exploit. Though I've seen it happen I haven't seen that many women make the first move in the way Aquaguy is talking about (asking out on a date, etc)...and as for going after those confident in his own masculinity, I expect that means the one approaching him expects the man "to grow a pair" and take over soon. Certainly many posts on LL would justify such an assumption, as does what I've seen in women's magazines and also the romance genre. Granted, she can scheme to get him interested of course, and a lot of money is made selling women the means to do that (just as plenty of men pay to become more confident to ask a woman out rather than to be asked out, whether it's a training course or a sports car). Or it's more like my mom who got a thrill from stealing a "taken" man to prove herself better than the other woman among other horrible reasons which aren't romantic and so I'm not counting that. I'm also not counting seduction for any purposes beyond romance (theft, spying, job promotion, money, etc). IP: Logged |
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