posted January 14, 2015 02:28 AM            

I honestly don't get it because I don't interact with the male gender. All my friends are female and the guys that approach me are typically perfect strangers. How they manage to gauge anything about my character and conclude that I'm 'stern' or whatever is a mystery to me.

Do any of you have a similar problem?

Which aspects do you think are in play here?

posted January 14, 2015 02:56 AM            

I never heard of guys having other guys ask out a woman for him. I'll have to ask some of the teens I know if that's a new trend (though I'd think a frightened teen or college guy would just keep a computer screen between you and him instead of sending someone else).

Though I can share that more guys asked me out or otherwise flirted with me when I was friendly (or even just laughing at something I was reading at say a bus stop) so that obviously relaxed them. Growing up close with many boys in a unromantic context did help me to be casual toward them and that no doubt made me seem friendly and relaxed...if you're not used to guys then it's possible you're guarded toward them which could appear stern to them.

As for aspects...limiting it to "stern and cruel" seeming...gods, I have no idea. I'd guess a Pluto-Saturn-Sun conjunction but I have that and that's not the case...though maybe in my case the Venus in the same conjunction as well as it being in the 3H Libra sextile 5H Sag help mitigate it...and if say that conjunction was in 1H Scorpio sextile 3H Capricorn then that might do it...just a guess.

posted January 14, 2015 03:14 AM            

PLUTO imbues intensity, but doesn't necessarily make a person intimidating at first glance. PLUTO usually doesn't show that side until after the claws have been dug in.

posted January 14, 2015 03:49 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Blind writer:

Astrology aside, people who smile a lot, and laugh are overall more approachable by both sexes. Resting b*tch face is generally not very appealing to talk to. I recommend consciously trying to work on that to attract men of stronger character.

---

posted January 14, 2015 04:20 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Blind writer:
A 10H influence, especially the SUN and/or chart ruler can make someone seem intimidating, or "out of reach". A prominent BML can make someone intimidating for real, as part of their personality - especially in women. SATURN conjunct the SUN or the AC (or chart ruler) may give someone a somber or very serious, morally judgmental kind of impression.

PLUTO imbues intensity, but doesn't necessarily make a person intimidating at first glance. PLUTO usually doesn't show that side until after the claws have been dug in.

Astrology aside, people who smile a lot, and laugh are overall more approachable by both sexes. Resting b*tch face is generally not very appealing to talk to. I recommend consciously trying to work on that to attract men of stronger character.

---

I've got a 10th house stellium though and a bunch of Pluto aspects to all my personal planets so I tend to be very driven and working on my own projects a lot of the time, shutting out everything.

I'm very heavy on Saturn as well; All my planets are in Earth signs but one, and Saturn squares my Sun, Venus and is opposite my AC.

posted January 14, 2015 04:31 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by PixieJane:
They think you're stern and cruel but still want to date you. I bet that helps explain why they sent a friend, because it would offend you and you would accept so that you'd have the opportunity to punish them! (That aside, the guys asking you out on behalf of another guy weren't that scared of you...)

---

They were indifferent to me so that's a given haha.

quote:

---

I never heard of guys having other guys ask out a woman for him. I'll have to ask some of the teens I know if that's a new trend (though I'd think a frightened teen or college guy would just keep a computer screen between you and him instead of sending someone else).

---

posted January 14, 2015 05:54 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by PixieJane:
I never heard of guys having other guys ask out a woman for him.

---

I have (or rather I have been the guy who has been asked by his friends to talk to women on their behalf .)

Its called being a "teaser." The term is derived from the process of breeding thoroughbred horses where an "eye-candy" horse is brought in first before a feisty female mare to get her into heat so that the thoroughbred can mate with her. The process is done so that an agitated mare does not harm a thoroughbred un-necessarily.

Some of my friends were just painfully shy and needed someone to break the ice for them.

posted January 14, 2015 06:17 AM            

Even the girl will be very feminine and her femininity will be seen as "elegance".

So similarly Moon/Venus in signs Scorpio, Aries,Aquarius,Capricorn can make a girl come across "cold","exlusive",abrasive, abrupt,harsh etc.

The guy will also come across this way.But its deemed "sexy" in his case.(double standard)As guys are expected to be devoid of emotion.

So if you "intimidate" men.It is likely that you have a feminine planet in a masculine sign i.e Moon in Scorpio/ Capricorn etc.or Venus in Aquarius/Aries
etc.

If not that, then maybe a predominant number of placements in your chart are ruled by a sign that is associated with masculinity i.e Capricorn,Scorpio,Aries, Aquarius etc.

An example;

Sun in Virgo-ruler Mercury
Moon in Aries-ruler Mars
Mercury in Libra-ruler Venus
Venus in Scorpio-ruler Mars
Mars in Aries-own home
Jupiter in Leo-ruler Sun
Saturn in Virgo-ruler Mercury

This person has Moon/Mars in Aries/Jupiter in Leo/Venus in Scorpio-all associated with masculine energy.

And as you can see,Mars in Aries is the predominant ruler of all the placements(either directly or indirectly).

And with Mars in Aries dignified,we can conclude that this person is very assertive.

If a man.The chart suggests a quick temper and an assertive/aggressive personality. Uncomfortable to be around,yes sometimes. But praised and seen as "desirable" for a man.

In a woman.This quality is shunned and seen as "intimidating" or even "bitchy".
She may wear the pants and be in charge and many may feel that she should "know her place" etc.Men may be intimidated by her and her ability to do things that they can do. But better!!!

posted January 14, 2015 06:58 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by PixieJane:
You don't, by chance, happen to look like this woman, do you?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oLf5N-jHX-A

---

posted January 14, 2015 08:21 AM              

quote:

---

Originally posted by Xodian:
I have (or rather I have been the guy who has been asked by his friends to talk to women on their behalf .)

Its called being a "teaser." The term is derived from the process of breeding thoroughbred horses where an "eye-candy" horse is brought in first before a feisty female mare to get her into heat so that the thoroughbred can mate with her. The process is done so that an agitated mare does not harm a thoroughbred un-necessarily.

Some of my friends were just painfully shy and needed someone to break the ice for them.

---

posted January 14, 2015 08:42 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by whaaat:
From what I see of your posts...

---

posted January 15, 2015 12:02 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by venus2tinkerbell:
ohhhh...doesn't that backfire?

---

Yes... Sometimes .

Obviously, it partially depends upon the person who you are talking on behalf of. If there is no general factors of attraction between him and the woman in question then obviously, no amount of good talk is going to change her mind and he just needs to accept that.

It also depends upon the intent of the "teaser" . If a teaser happens to be single and manages to hit it off with the woman that he supposedly trying to introduce his friend to... Well... Chances are she is going to end up picking him over the friend .

I was dating my girlfriend at time (who is now my wonderful wife.) So as such, my friends really didn't have to worry about the issue .

posted January 15, 2015 12:32 AM              

I approached my Pisces when she was surrounded by 8 guys. I didn't care.

posted January 15, 2015 05:24 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Xodian:
I have (or rather I have been the guy who has been asked by his friends to talk to women on their behalf .)

Its called being a "teaser." The term is derived from the process of breeding thoroughbred horses where an "eye-candy" horse is brought in first before a feisty female mare to get her into heat so that the thoroughbred can mate with her. The process is done so that an agitated mare does not harm a thoroughbred un-necessarily.

Some of my friends were just painfully shy and needed someone to break the ice for them.

---

I'm curious how it works, can you describe it (including a bit on what kind of club or campus or whatever this was)?

I tried looking it up by a quick search didn't show this to be normal. Even Urban Dictionary didn't have any definitions of "teaser" that way (cue for you to add it? )

I know there are "exotic" areas (and sometimes subcultures) where the rules are different and because they're so localized (or otherwise niche) it's hard to find it explained on the net. But generally speaking I'd think most women would not be impressed by a guy who couldn't talk to her himself (and that plenty of guys would be embarrassed to ask another guy to) and would be more interested in the "teaser" for being bolder and thus more exciting and everything else so many (*) women want. (*Note, I didn't say "all" and I don't mean to imply I'm that way. I'm basing that on the general media--this include women's magazines and I've also read some men's magazines as well--and observations, including following what the majority of women on LL say they want in a man, and what turns them off.)

posted January 15, 2015 01:52 PM              

1. The messenger is the strong personality
2. The boy in the back is the shy personality
3. The woman can decide which guy she wants to have.

The words were a little bit different than today. Something like: „This man over there is too shy to tell you that you are a beautiful, shining person. Is there any chance that you talk to him?”<--That differs from messenger to messenger.

posted January 15, 2015 02:04 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by GeminiKarat:
That is an old style approach b.f. (= before facebook). There is a saying: “Never kill the messenger!”

---

LOL I've got no facebook or any online profile whatsoever. I've removed them when I realized that the whole point of social media is not to connect with friends and family, but to market yourself as a pseudo 'celebrity' and make it easier for creeps to stalk you.

quote:

---

1. The messenger is the strong personality
2. The boy in the back is the shy personality

---

posted January 15, 2015 03:05 PM              

quote:

---

Originally posted by whaaat:
LOL I've got no facebook or any online profile whatsoever.

---

Stay strong. That approach has always been fun and it should not be scary.

I wish you all the best!

posted January 15, 2015 05:01 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by aquaguy91:
I have seen what Xodian is talking about, but I haven't seen it lately. When I did see that sort of thing happening it was usually girls helping their friends out, I can't recall ever seeing guys getting their friends to talk to girls for them. I'd imagine that online dating has killed that strategy because it's much easier (and socially acceptable) for shy types to look for dates online.

---