posted January 24, 2015 11:14 AM            

Everywhere I go, I see couples and it sort of causes me to put my love life in perspective. I'm seeing things through a different lense these days.

I'm turning 25 this year and I've never been "in love". I have never met a "man" who fell in love with me. I've therefore never been in a "relationship".

I go on dates and after 1, 3, 5 or 8, men usually "disappear" on me (they always come back though). When I was in school, I was always the one girl guys rejected. Now as an adult, this tragic destiny is utterly painful.

I'm not unattractive. I'm educated, nice and funny. I don't understand. I've tried to "date" different types of men and the result is always the same.

Any ideas as to what sort of placements can cause this tragic destiny in one's love life?

posted January 24, 2015 11:46 AM              

A lot of the connections formed at that young age have less to do with love and more to do with needs and validation. I've read a couple of your posts and you seem very mature. Maybe you are wearing less of your needs on your sleeve (you know how they say people wear their hearts on their sleeve) and you are looking for a real connection to build on that they can't understand yet. Maybe the people in your age group can't quite relate because they are looking for a "synastry" of needs...

"wtf is she talking about" lol

But really, it's harder to be the girl who isn't needy, the girl who is genuine, and can hold her own. It's going to take the people in your age group some time to value those qualities...

posted January 24, 2015 01:52 PM            

Love has been a little it hard on me!! Lol, to say the least!

I believe the longer you continue to love and not receive what you need the deeper your love will be when it manifests. I've give and poured my heart for years to jerks who lied just to sleep with me, sometimes for a years or more they would keep the lies up.
But I don't give up, I learn and grow and become a better person from each experience. I've learned so much about myself and outgrown unnecessary habits that would not be beneficial to a relationship through these "waste" of relationships.
I've watched these men be insecure and through that learned how it felt to be with someone like that and learned that I didn't want to be that way in a relationship. I've watched them lie effortlessly and learned I never wanted to be the lair.
I've watched them be distant and sometimes so clingy it drove me crazy. After all this I know what I don't want to be...so I also have a much better idea of what I do want to be for the person who truly deserves me.

When my true love manifests I will be the best I can possibly be and be capable of a mature loving relationship without all the stupid, immature, unnecessary behaviors and insecurities that cause drama.

I believe the harder it is to find love, means the more blessed the love will be when you find it. Maybe I believe this just because I need to, so it doesn't hurt so much that I can't seem to find the person I'm meant to be with...everyone I love is lying or using me. But I don't care, I'm using them to become a better person! This is how I have to see it so I'm crying all the time! Lol

I do have Jupiter in my 7th, 8 degrees off my DC and my Vertex conjunct Jupiter...so maybe that's why I have hope.

AC libra@7
Pluto libra@11
Venus libra@19
DC aries@7
Jupiter aries@15
Vertex aries@21
Chiron aries@24

My 5th house ruler is Uranus and my Uranus in 2nd is square my Saturn
Mars rules my 7th and my Mars is in my 9th house conjunct Nessus trine Uranus, it makes no other aspects.
My 8th house ruler, Venus is in my 1st conjunct Pluto

posted January 24, 2015 02:02 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hannaramaa:
Hugs MineAgain! I see a lot of myself in some of your posts, I hate that feeling of frustration. Honestly I think the smarter one is or more common sense and wisdom one has, harder it is to find love. We see through a lot more and put up with less than others. I like what VTinkerbell said about men in their 20's not being able to "see" her. It's been very true in my case, I'm not sure about you. I'm curious to know why someone would disappear after 8 dates and no resolution or reasoning was found though? Maybe you did and don't want to share why, which is completely okay.

Astrologically, I have Venus square Saturn and Saturn and Uranus in my 7th house (and Neptune) can't force relationships and I can't chase them. They either happen or they don't. I adjusted my needs to fit my lifestyle and that's helped, but I do get lonely and frustrated sometimes because I'm still human.

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I completely agree with this. MineAgain, I want to give you a hug because I understand what you are saying and have found you to be a very nice and valuable poster here, especially when I see you in PR.

Do you think on some level because of your past that you are a little closed off or hold back? The reason I ask this is because school wasn't the best for me either, and sometimes I catch myself not being as open to accepting love as I should.

You sound like a catch, you have a lot of things going for you. Are you confident and happy with yourself though? I feel you are being too harsh on yourself, because love is a fickle thing that often is difficult to find. Think of this way, consider it a blessing those men aren't with you because you would be settling for less than you deserve. The couples you see too, may not be as blissfully in love as they look as well, appearances mean nothing.

There is no right or wrong time to fall in love, don't let society tell you otherwise. Besides, the grass is always greener too- one day when you are all loved up you might miss the days of being single.

posted January 24, 2015 02:37 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by I'm so cappy:
My guesses:
Saturn or Uranus in the 5th/7th house
Capricorn or Aquarius Venus
Venus-Saturn hard aspect
Moon-Saturn hard aspect
Saturn/Uranus-5th HR/7th HR hard aspect
Chiron-Venus/5th HR/7th HR hard aspect
Chiron in the 5th or 7th

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wow I have 4 of these aspects. It explains a lot about why I have had such a difficult love life. Relationships are either a waste of time or disastrous for me. I'm afraid that if this continues I might end up being a spinster. Time to learn how to knit,oh well.

posted January 24, 2015 03:43 PM            

I think I have been single since 2013 and haven't really been that enthusiastic about "falling in love" or finding "the one" etc.

Saturn/Capricorn placements are not that comfortable initially on the giddy 5th/nor sociable 7th,as they tend to have this serious effect on both.

Add to that Chiron in the 5th/7th or in Leo/Libra and you have someone who has emotional issues with partnerships and romance- they give too much and feel that even that is not enough to keep the partner from straying.

My sister has Saturn in 5th with Capricorn Dsc. She has yet to be impressed with the guy she meets or find some peace in love.

I don't think it'll stay that way forever though. Saturn has a way of turning things around in one's 30's and even in later years.

When all that maturity is seen as "sexy" all of a sudden. The person becomes a great "catch" and very desirable.

There is a local story of a man whose wife had passed away recently. Looking at his pictures, he is extremely good-looking for a man his age and there were readers writing in who were interested in him romantically.

When I looked at his chart- just from his birthday,he had Venus Capricorn/Virgo Moon both conjunct/trine Saturn in Capricorn respectively.

Give Saturn time to work for you. For now just hold on to the original idea of what you want and what kind of person you would like to fall in-love with. Be patient and open.

Don't take the lonely nights and the sexless life too seriously.Saturn will come through with a bounty of suitors eventually. All extremely eligible I assure you.

posted January 24, 2015 04:14 PM            

It is true indeed that I am quite "invisible" to guys my age. They never hit on me. I always get hit on by older men or "thugs". I'm not desperate, just disheartened. I know that a lot of them just want to have "fun" but where is the love in all this? I don't understand why men are so reluctant to finding love and prioritize sex. This is very confusing to me.

I don't put this much emphasis on love in my daily routine, but I when I stay home at night, I sometimes cry myself to sleep. I remember when I started to use dating websites at 18. I thought that I wouldn't have to use them anymore at 25. Then, as time goes by and my age changes on my profile, I realize nothing has changed. Every year, I tell myself "maybe this year I'll find love" but nope. I'm still at the same stage I was when I was a teenager, with the pain/heartache as the cherry on top.

You know, the only thing I regret is that no one in my life has ever told me they loved me. I may have evolved career-wise but on a personal level, I'm still experiencing rejection after rejection.

@Hanna Yes, those men just "disappeared". They gave me no reason, no closure which is even harder to handle. No guy I ever dated bothered to give me some "closure". Cowards way out, as usual. They just stop answering my texts. All of them.

I have an unaspected moon which intensifies the pain I feel which automatically causes me to retreat emotionally for a long time.

My chart can be found here:

posted January 24, 2015 04:26 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Gabby:
I always get hit on by married or involved men...I'm so sick of it!

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Same here. I always get hit on by older men who are either involved with someone else or far too old for me to envision something "serious" with them.

posted January 24, 2015 04:38 PM              

I feel you hun.

I posted something similar to this in Sweet Peas a few weeks ago. I am educated, earn my own money, not unattractive, a few temperament issues but extremely loyal; and I struggle to find what I am looking for.

My brother always said to me that men don't mature until they're at least about 30. They find it hard knowing what they really want.

posted January 24, 2015 04:56 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by MineAgain:
Same here. I always get hit on by older men who are either involved with someone else or far too old for me to envision something "serious" with them.

I want someone my age I can relate to and share experiences with. I'm quite reluctant to dating someone "older" because at this crucial period of my life, the needs/prospects I have might be different from theirs.

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That's exactly what happens to me, the ones who are someone I would consider and are younger are not available. Plus they lie about being single at first.
I think I catch a lot of guys heading into their mid life crisis, they know they are not happy but don't what exactly they want. They just want some excitement, I don't sleep with guys before they give me a serious commitment, it's this issue that's made me so hard core about this. I've had enough of dating a guy for a couple months only to have an angry wife or girlfriend call me and tell me the truth, one time it was the guys best friend and he only told me because he thought I'd go for him. Such a jerk! That ended their friendship.

posted January 24, 2015 05:09 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by I'm so cappy:
HR = house ruler
If you like dogs, we can be crazy dog spinster ladies together

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posted January 24, 2015 05:42 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by whaaat:
I'll give it my best shot and say Saturn in the 7th is a classic indicator that love comes late. I have it in my chart and I haven't so much as kissed a boy yet.

Do you live in the same city you were born in?

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No, I don't. I move around a lot (different countries/continents). I have never dated a single person in the city I was born in even though I spent some of my teenage years there.

posted January 24, 2015 07:17 PM            

I have aquarius on my 6th & 7th house cusp & while my 5th house cusp is in Sag, the majority of it is Capricorn. So basically it's like I want something serious, but I get bored & need variety. My venus is in the 8th so I crave intensity & depth, but sextile uranus in Sag, again I need excitement. My mars is Rx in Libra & again that probably makes it hard for me to get attached & I get bored.

posted January 24, 2015 11:54 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by MineAgain:
No, I don't. I move around a lot (different countries/continents). I have never dated a single person in the city I was born in even though I spent some of my teenage years there.

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posted January 25, 2015 04:32 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by whaaat:
Could you post your relocation chart??

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Yes. Here it is. This is the city I where I last dated guys. It was really rough to be quite frank. I spent two years there and although I experienced one significant encounter, those two years were filled with pain due to various external circumstances.

posted January 25, 2015 05:07 AM            

With Saturn in the 7th house, you are serious about your relationships but that could be taken in different ways. One of the classic features of this placement is that often the subject may not marry or commit to a relationship until after the first Saturn return, and sometimes not until they are much older. Maybe this is because you know that it is a serious commitment so you need to be sure. But maybe it¢s because where Saturn sits in the chart, we often have an unswerving desire to avoid that area of life at all costs.

You may be drawn to those who offer you the security you need, or you may run at the thought of getting hitched. Saturn poses a challenge. This is the area of life where you are required to develop self-mastery and maturity but the thought of opening up and being vulnerable to someone else can be a frightening prospect. Maybe you want to be strong and resist. Maybe you don¢t want to be tied down or obliged to anyone else. Perhaps you struggle with commitment or fear that your partner will. Relationships are rarely black and white but it can feel like all or nothing.

You may be drawn to those who display typical Saturnian traits – someone in business; someone who is solid and reliable; ¡husband or wife material¢, a traditionalist. Some with this placement may find themselves with an older partner. Going deeper, subjects with Saturn in the 7th House may find themselves with a partner who is more like a parent. If this manifests, it can be helpful to look back at your own parent¢s relationship to see how this may have impacted upon you. In a similar vein, you may be drawn to someone who suits your parents or society¢s expectations of you.

Saturn in the 7th House can have high standards and expectations. Negatively expressed, this placement can trigger a ¡never good enough¢ trait. It may be that you are casting the bar too high or setting yourself up for failure before you¢ve even begun for fear of being hurt. Sometimes too, it¢s easier to find the partner inadequate than deal with your own short-comings. Dissatisfaction becomes a wall around you. Planets in the 7th house are often disowned and projected onto the partner.

Sometimes this placement can generate a fear that you just aren¢t loveable enough or good enough to be with someone else resulting in loneliness and isolation. Issues around partners and even open enemies may test your limits. Occasionally some natives with this placement attract partners who are overly strict or limit their freedom in some way either through personality or through health issues. Often this is a manifestation of the subject¢s own fears being played out through another. Sometimes, depending on other aspects, this placement can indicate staying with a partner long after the expiry date. If these negative manifestations play out, it is a clue to look within to find your own inner Saturn and form a better working relationship with yourself first and foremost.

When Saturn is in the 7th house or in a challenging aspect to Venus, often people moan and groan, my love life is doomed! But Saturn can instil stability just as much as fear. We all need a little bit of Saturn in a relationship to give it staying power. Don¢t forget that Saturn is exalted in Libra, the sign corresponding to the 7th house.

Whilst you may find it more difficult to initially make the leap, once you commit, you commit. Saturn in the 7th house can indicate longevity in relationships. Sometimes there are fewer partners taken or fewer opportunities for love to blossom but when the connection is there, you pay it the serious attention it deserves. As realist, you are less inclined to be swept away by big promises and fairytale romances but as a result, your partner has the benefit of the real you. Your caution can pay dividends. ¡For better or worse¢ is ultimately a Saturnian line. With growing awareness, Saturn gives you the self-discipline to work on yourself and to recognise that relationships too take work.

When functioning well, Saturn can manifest as a responsible and loyal partner. Whilst you may not be inclined to be overly demonstrative, you show your abiding love in other ways such as being a rock for your partner to lean on. Love for you is a verb. Far from never being happy in marriage like the old interpretations suggest, Saturn in the 7th house shows that you have the potential to reach a great level of maturity and understanding not only of your partner but of yourself. When there is an inner marriage within the self then you can meet your partner adult to adult, choosing to be with them on level ground; independent yet walking side by side, sharing the journey of life through all its ups and downs.

Ruler of the 7th house in the 7th house

The activities of the 7th house serve the agenda of the 7th house. Cooperation, conflict, significant partnerships and negotiations are an end unto themselves. We choose partners with whom we can go into business. Marriage partners are business partners, business partners are marriage partners. We want to be with someone who is cooperative. We want a partner who is a good negotiator. Partners can become open enemies. We fight with our partner openly. We have strong feelings or opinions about the contractual nature of marriage. Marriage is nothing but a piece of paper. Marriage is nothing but a contract. Marriage is binding. The relationship isn¢t real unless we get married. Business partners have to sign contracts. We like contracts because they are fair and unbiased. We treat marriage like a negotiation. Our attitude to significant others is as if they are a business partner. The partner needs to be willing negotiate and cooperate with us. We marry a lawyer. We become a law partner. We negotiate with open enemies.

I have a friend who's 7th house cusp is in Capricorn and even though he's famous, has a hard time finding a steady partner. Good thing is you have Sun and many planets in the 5th house, which can make you really good at flirt. You have to check though all the aspects.