posted May 18, 2015 02:47 PM            

I am just slightly frustrated and sad because to be honest, my love life has always been a disaster. I've never been in a "proper" relationship. I keep getting rejected/disappeared on after a few encounters, or worse, I attract losers.

I can't seem to be attracting "quality" men because I think I'm not pretty enough (I'm not your "classical" beauty). I'll be turning 25 in a couple of months and all my friends/coworkers already have had a significant relationship or are in one, but I 'm still the same I was in high school - Ugly Betty crushing on guys who don't even know I exist.

That's probably the reason why I'm still pinning over the Pisces man, because I'm still lonely. Each passing year is a disappointment because I realize I didn't experience anything romantic. I never attract the type of guys I want. I don't know how to cope at this stage.

I'm not sure how to deal with my loneliness.

Advice would be greatly appreciated!

posted May 18, 2015 02:57 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by astra7:
Well, you do have Cappy as 7th H ruler and Saturn is posited there so this is a classic case of....you'll find love late in life or go out with someone older than yourself.

Interesting....you have unaspected moon, your chart ruler.

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posted May 18, 2015 02:58 PM            

I wish I were able to experience "normal" things like every other twenty something.

posted May 18, 2015 03:00 PM            

Trust me, I'm 45. 20-something hormones are creating some of this pressure. Looking back its so easy for me to see it now. Besides, I was single until I was 39. Find yourself. Love yourself first. When you genuinely enjoy your own company others will want to be around you. If you don't like yourself or certain things about yourself, it silently invites others to mistreat or under-appreciate you.

Decide to love and accept yourself as you are, and to only date those who can appreciate you as you are. Just don't waste time with anyone who can't.

The key is changing the pattern (consciousness, beliefs especially about self) that created the undesirable results. To do this, we have to move totally out of blame (of self or "them"). I've done this and it works. I was single until age 39 and I've been happily married for 4 years. I'm not the only one.

About your chart, that will have to wait for another post. It does not look at all to me like the chart of someone whose life purpose involves them heavily in the practice of law.

posted May 18, 2015 03:04 PM            

But the 7th house saturn could potentially mean that it will take a long time for you to settle down for real..
I see this "hopeless romantic" kind of thing, as a clear 12th house thing as well... you are very scorpio-dominant but then there is this gemini moon/mars in 12th house... maybe this is what really holds you back from taking an initiative? I think that when you do find someone, it will be worth the waiting, because of all that 5th house energy and scorpio venus. They have a tendency to hang on their mate for a long time!

I think you'll be just fine though, you just have to meet someone... if there is someone you like, try using all that scorpio/5th house energy. It shouldn't really be a problem for those placement to seduce someone.

posted May 18, 2015 03:06 PM            

Thank you all for your support, it means a lot

I don't take initative because I'm scared to death of being rejected. Every single time I took initiative, I got rejected. I've therefore become allergic to making any sort of move.

I know I am a good person with a lot of love and plenty of great qualities other women do not have, but nobody seems to see that. I'm invisible and no guy cares to chase me properly (maybe because they don't want to).

Everyone tells me to love myself, wait but it's been the same 'advice' for 10 years now. I'm just slightly tired of this whole waiting or "it will come when you're not looking". I've had stages when I didn't look at all and nothing came!

I'm very disheartened. I don't understand why or how.

posted May 18, 2015 03:24 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hannaramaa:
You don't have to love yourself to be worthy of love, we are lovable and worthy of love regardless of how we feel about ourselves on any given day. It's just that loving yourself tends to make it easier in recognizing when someone else is really, actively loving you.

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I agree with you.

I don't loathe myself in any way. I just don't think I'm attractive but I know I have other great qualities which is the reason why I understand that loving yourself is key, but it is not really the source of my void.

posted May 18, 2015 03:53 PM            

It is great that you are aware of all the positive traits you posses.

In my experience, when the external world appears to be undervaluing you and rejecting you, it's because there are even more great sides of you buried, unconscious, which you need to discover in order to feel whole.

When people say in this thread that the key is loving yourself first, it's not only about being aware of what you 'have to offer', but actually being eager to spend time with yourself, dive into hobbies, interests and passions, see where your personality and unique individuality will take you, how incredibly far it can reach.

There's some aspect of your personality you need to integrate consciously, so embark on this journey

I met my first boyfriend when I was 18, and until then I felt like a loser for having taken so long. Our relationship was so traumatic, that I wished our paths had never crossed and I still have nightmares about him - but it served a purpose to show me what part of myself I had been neglecting.

posted May 18, 2015 04:08 PM            

Astrology is just your map, however, It's really up to you! It's all in your mind and how you handle your attitude about it.

It is understandable to be discouraged, but please pick yourself up. Lets say if you keep thinking you are 'ugly' or you will never find someone who will care and love you, THEN that is exactly what you are creating in your reality!

So in short, SHIFT your thinking and your attitude. Pick up your energy, take care of yourself. By taking care of yourself ie. becoming healthy, grooming, self value (Not allowing to be hurt by 'losers' you speak of), self worth (knowing you are good enough) ... THEN watch how things will change for you for the positive.

And please, try not to say sorry all the time. There is nothing to be sorry for...

posted May 18, 2015 04:16 PM            

The thing is I spent a lot of time on myself .. I dress really well (that's probably my biggest asset since every single person I've met told me I really do dress extremely well in a uniquely classy way). This is what boosts my confidence daily because even "fashion" experts compliment me.

I am a very active individual with a very healthy lifestyle (running, yoga, meditation, dancing classes, singing, you name it). I like to take care of myself because I knew it reflects on the outside. I'm by no means a couch potato.

The problem comes from the fact that I was told so many times that I am not attractive, that it just go stuck in my brain.

I have plenty of hobbies and I love exploring new horizons, but I also want to experience a non-selfish perspective. Focusing on yourself is great but there comes a point where you want to share something with someone instead of acting selfish.

I know love has no age limit, but I am almost 25 and I really want to experience "love", for once in my life. Doesn't have to be "the love of my love" but I want to experience happiness that goes beyond the one you can provide for yourself.

posted May 18, 2015 04:24 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by MineAgain:

I know love has no age limit, but I am almost 25 and I really want to experience "love", for once in my life. Doesn't have to be "the love of my love" [b]but I want to experience happiness that goes beyond the one you can provide for yourself.

[/B]

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I am pretty sure you've heard this many times, but I will say the same thing..

If you want to find happiness with someone, find that happiness FIRST within yourself.

What SaturnFan shared above is true. Gotta go back to basics and look within, clear those unconscious blocks and energetic patterns. Keep doing what you are doing, keep working on yourself, it is not selfish, its self care - then you will attract that person you are looking for, because you already have all those great qualities within you..

But if you really want to be with someone, then create it for yourself. What is stopping you?

posted May 18, 2015 04:31 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by midnightvenus:
I have 7H ruler in the 7H too, in my case, it's Pluto.
I'm 19 and haven't had a relationship yet.
I understand this thing of being hung up on someone because no one better seems to come along.
It's awful.

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posted May 18, 2015 04:33 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by MineAgain:
If late means 40, when I'll be even more unattractive ... I'm doomed. Sigh.

I wish I were able to experience "normal" things like every other twenty something.

The Pisces man was the only person I could be myself around. This is so painful because I feel inadequate at all times. I still feel like a twelve year old.

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posted May 18, 2015 04:35 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by MineAgain:
When I say 'losers', I mean "thugs" or "rednecks" (you know, those guys who live on welfare and hit on random women on the street).

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posted May 18, 2015 04:36 PM              

I have been insecure all my life. I find myself attractive, but I have never felt "good enough" but I have found love. Even at my lowest. I think it's a matter of perspective. There are plenty of depressed people out there who find love. Of course the advice you all are giving mine is very sweet and true. We should all look for happiness within ourself, but how do you all know that she isn't already trying?

Love comes when we least expect it. No matter how sad, happy, ugly, pretty you are Love comes whenever love must. And love leaves whenever love must. We can only have faith and not think of it so much. The best loves I have had were when I paid no mind to it and just made friends...

posted May 18, 2015 04:41 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by joandreamer:
I think it's a bit unfair for people to say that one must find happiness within themselves and to love themselves before they find love, as if that is what stops it from coming.

I have been insecure all my life. I find myself attractive, but I have never felt "good enough" but I have found love. Even at my lowest. I think it's a matter of perspective. There are plenty of depressed people out there who find love. Of course the advice you all are giving mine is very sweet and true. We should all look for happiness within ourself, but how do you all know that she isn't already trying?

Love comes when we least expect it. No matter how sad, happy, ugly, pretty you are Love comes whenever love must. And love leaves whenever love must. We can only have faith and not think of it so much. The best loves I have had were when I paid no mind to it and just made friends...

Extend your social circle, try online dating, try new means of finding new people. It doesn't always have to start off lookin for romance. Just find new friends and the right guy will turn up eventually. I promise you

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I tried online dating for years, it only ended up in heartbreak. My worst heartbreak was because of man I met online.

posted May 18, 2015 04:43 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by bluestskies88:
I am pretty sure you've heard this many times, but I will say the same thing..

If you want to find happiness with someone, find that happiness FIRST within yourself.

What SaturnFan shared above is true. Gotta go back to basics and look within, clear those unconscious blocks and energetic patterns. Keep doing what you are doing, keep working on yourself, it is not selfish, its self care - then you will attract that person you are looking for, because you already have all those great qualities within you..

But if you really want to be with someone, then create it for yourself. What is stopping you?

And no, you will not be single forever.. FOREVERRRR is a very looong time and that's way too dramatic LOL

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How to create it for myself?

Am I going to get guys to find me pretty or interesting all of the sudden?

posted May 18, 2015 04:45 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by joandreamer:
I think it's a bit unfair for people to say that one must find happiness within themselves and to love themselves before they find love, as if that is what stops it from coming.

I have been insecure all my life. I find myself attractive, but I have never felt "good enough" but I have found love. Even at my lowest. I think it's a matter of perspective. There are plenty of depressed people out there who find love. Of course the advice you all are giving mine is very sweet and true. We should all look for happiness within ourself, but how do you all know that she isn't already trying?

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You do have a fair point, but I didn't say she wasn't trying. As a matter of fact, I did encouraged her to keep doing what she is doing, by working on herself .. her response -- (running, yoga, meditation, dancing classes, singing, you name it)
All I was trying to point out is that she mentioned she keeps attracting 'losers'. So that comes to mind that somewhere unconsciously, she is attracting those people in her life isn't it true? Life is a mirror. So by finding true happiness within, she will attract someone who is able to value that aspect for who she is and not treat her in such a way that she will become unhappy.. correct? Happiness seems to be what she is looking for, so my suggestion for her is to be happy.

Just my perspectives.

posted May 18, 2015 04:45 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by MineAgain:
I agree with you.

I don't loathe myself in any way. I just don't think I'm attractive

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You manifest what's inside of you.
If you are happy with yourself, you will be transmitting x-factor vibe out there that people will just come to you. Think about that. When you are needy, nobody wants to come to you.

I don't know having tPluto in my 1st is doing this but people don't look at me once but twice!! I've decided to say hello to strangers who glance back the second time and probably throw a wink to a girl or a man and see what kind of face they'd make. Teach them for looking at me twice. LOL

May I also say that OP's username tells a state of her mind. It's ME!....again.... like a burden? Is that how you are feeling or selling yourself?

posted May 18, 2015 05:35 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by MineAgain:

I don't take initative because I'm scared to death of being rejected. Every single time I took initiative, I got rejected. I've therefore become allergic to making any sort of move.

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You shouldn't become allergic to that... you could end up having a complete aura around you who says "don't even think of it". And that avoids all kind of human contact with the opposite sex...

I know that scorpio people can seem VERY intimidating if they lock themselves up like that...

posted May 18, 2015 06:16 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by MineAgain:

How to create it for myself?

Am I going to get guys to find me pretty or interesting all of the sudden?

LOL

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Yes, as soon as you start finding yourself beautiful and attractive, others will too. You will change your demeanour and presence, you will emanate self-confidence that it is not present yet.

Erase that "you are not attractive" phrase out of your head. Replace it with the truth: "I am beautiful", "I am sexy". "I love how I look and dress", "I am intelligent", "I am worthy of love". Write down positive affirmations everyday in a diary until you have shifted the self-image you have currently.

You are beautiful MineAgain. I don't need to see your photo to know it.
Good luck <3