posted October 07, 2015 08:25 PM            

But with an astrology twist of course.

My biggest fear is the death of my parents. Everyone is to some extent but I think about it almost daily. Not sure if this is normal...My south node is in Cancer in 8th house. So my natural tendency is to hold onto family and be emotionally vulnerable towards them in every way possible. Chiron is in my 8th too.

Also, I have a big fear of homelessness. BIG fear. I fear that I won't get a stable job that will support me. I'm 25 and in college still, so I've only had part-time retail jobs at this point in my life. So I've never seen "real" money come into my life. And being the only child, if something happens to my parents, I'm pretty much screwed.

My Saturn is in my 2nd house, so is my Sun, my North Node as well, and my 2nd is ruled by Capricorn so material/financial gain is really delayed, even though those are things that are really vital to me

This scares me so much I could vomit everytime I think about it.

posted October 07, 2015 11:14 PM            

But this may also be my Cancer N. Node. But my Cappie Lilith doesn't help.

That said, and to make it a little more Halloween-oriented...the recent nightmares I've had in this regard (I can link to a couple because I shared them over in the Astral Realms forum) played on the vampire/zombie theme of nightmares I've had since right about when I turned 12. I should point out that these vampires are nearly feral save the inhuman master which is actually a demon that inhabits a corpse, and the vampires are themselves corpses that the demon "partially inhabits" and are close to being like the vampires here. Though for the "master" which is more of an evil spirit, this can work, and IMO perfect for Halloween assuming you prefer scary to sexy: Night of the Wolf. Zombies are often also controlled by a demon or demonic sorcerer in my dreams, heck, once they were controlled by Cthulhu trying to dig us out as me and several survivors found the earth a natural astral barrier against the Old Ones, from the living aura of the planet, and so they couldn't attack us directly...well, too long to go into. Bottom line is that vampires and zombies are typically interchangeable in my nightmares with only trivial differences.

Actually, they're more like the Evil Dead, and I don't mean the darkly comedic ones, but as portrayed in this GRAPHIC (you've been warned) 2013 trailer (I repeat, graphic ). And btw, if you were able to stomach that Evil Dead trailer...yes, my nightmares get that bad at times, arguably worse (especially as the inhuman evil is tangible *), even back when I was 12 (and when I was 12 having those nightmares for the first time I was also the center of poltergeist activity, a very disquieting time in my life).

(* Her mind was clear, still unimpressed with this talk of bloodsuckers and the undead. It was from her spinal cord, a much older network of nerves and ganglia, that the black dread emanated in waves. -- Salem's Lot, by Stephen King.)

Such evil is one that destroys the human soul, one's essence and identity, possibly even twisting or enslaving it into something vile, or possibly just destroying it outright. And that could be the greatest fear of my nonconformist Mars-Uranus (and Moon-Neptune for dreams!). And yet it's not just that, it's also how school generally tried to suppress me (and my Saturn in light & airy 3H stellium, along with Pluto and other placements, was going to rebel right along with my Sag stellium) in which the very worse was when they had me placed in a mental hospital that was vile, though it was a human evil, unlike my nightmares. Nevertheless, I was horribly abused (to the point when I thought if I don't let myself to be put back in later that I might be raped to death, I chose to risk the latter than the former, and this right after having been so horribly abused but I didn't dare go to the cops or hospital for fear of being sent back) that I knew they were going to win, I felt as if I was being literally erased (luck got me out in time). I really related (on a gut level that was powerful) to Picard's rage in that movie of fighting the Borg, where he talked about feeling his entire individuality being eradicated.

posted October 07, 2015 11:29 PM            

We have similar fears. The fear of my mother dying is my biggest fear. My south node is also in the 8th but in Scorpio. I think about it all the time too and I have a solar return in 2017 with pluto conjunct the moon in the 4th house simutaneously squaring the majority of my planets that year :/

The homeless fear isnt an issue fortunately. No matter how broke Ive been, Ive always felt like everything will work out---and it always does. The fact that I dont worry about money drives my husband crazy. I dont know what it is though. I just feel protected in that area.

posted October 08, 2015 12:23 AM            

Kinda reminds me of a dream I had a few years back.. It was just a really oddly eerie dream where I remember seeing the mirror in an otherwise mostly dark room.. And, the faucet randomly turning on, on its own. xD

But.. Mirrors don't freak me out too much. They do sometimes.

posted October 08, 2015 12:41 AM            

I remember my Mom told me a story about this time she was out shopping.. She had my sister with her. I don't think I had been born yet. So, she was pretty young. Maybe 2..?

Anyways.. They were out shopping, and, my sister was sitting in the cart. Supposedly, this person dressed up in a bunny costume came out of nowhere. Now, this is kind of creepy in and of itself.. But.. Supposedly, my sister started freaking out really badly right upon seeing this person. My Mom said that they just randomly kept walking towards the cart. She said that something seemed very off about them. They didn't make a single sound the whole time. And, if I am correct, supposedly they watched my Mom the whole time she walked away with my sister..

She told the people working there, and, somehow they weren't able to find anyone. Almost seeming as if this person just vanished out of nowhere.

So.. Basically.. I find things like that really creepy. Like.. The costume just made things 1000% creepier lol. There is just something so oddly ominous and undefinable about it. Because, when done right, a costume can completely strip all identity away and almost take away a certain aspect of humanity. Creepy.

I probably worded some of that oddly.. xD

posted October 08, 2015 02:49 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by PixieJane:

However, before I can blame the nightmares on this, I was having the nightmares before I was sent (though that mental ward gave me new ones), in fact the nightmares were an indirect reason for why I was sent. That mental ward was a human evil, but this evil spirit that haunts my nightmares comes off as something beyond human evil, possibly even human comprehension.

---

posted October 08, 2015 02:55 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by bananaz:
@aquagembaby Hey! Interesting subject!

We have similar fears. The fear of my mother dying is my biggest fear. My south node is also in the 8th but in Scorpio. I think about it all the time too and I have a solar return in 2017 with pluto conjunct the moon in the 4th house simutaneously squaring the majority of my planets that year :/

---

Ah. Yeah my 8th house is in Cancer so we are somewhat similar. I guess the good part is I appreciate people more b/c I know that I can lose them, since I think about losing them all the time D:

quote:

---

Originally posted by ReadingTheStars95:
Actually.. One thing that probably creeps me out the most is kind of hard to explain..

I remember my Mom told me a story about this time she was out shopping.. She had my sister with her. I don't think I had been born yet. So, she was pretty young. Maybe 2..?

Anyways.. They were out shopping, and, my sister was sitting in the cart. Supposedly, this person dressed up in a bunny costume came out of nowhere. Now, this is kind of creepy in and of itself.. But.. Supposedly, my sister started freaking out really badly right upon seeing this person. My Mom said that they just randomly kept walking towards the cart. She said that something seemed very off about them. They didn't make a single sound the whole time. And, if I am correct, supposedly they watched my Mom the whole time she walked away with my sister..

She told the people working there, and, somehow they weren't able to find anyone. Almost seeming as if this person just vanished out of nowhere.

So.. Basically.. I find things like that really creepy. Like.. The costume just made things 1000% creepier lol. There is just something so oddly ominous and undefinable about it. Because, when done right, a costume can completely strip all identity away and almost take away a certain aspect of humanity. Creepy.

I probably worded some of that oddly.. xD

Hmmm..

---

That is random but actually really creepy. More so that he was following and watching. Ugh.

posted October 08, 2015 03:02 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by aquagembaby:
Since it's almost Halloween, I thought we can all talk about our fears or anything that scares the crap out of us.

But with an astrology twist of course.

My biggest fear is the death of my parents. Everyone is to some extent but I think about it almost daily. Not sure if this is normal...My south node is in Cancer in 8th house. So my natural tendency is to hold onto family and be emotionally vulnerable towards them in every way possible. Chiron is in my 8th too.

Also, I have a big fear of homelessness. BIG fear. I fear that I won't get a stable job that will support me. I'm 25 and in college still, so I've only had part-time retail jobs at this point in my life. So I've never seen "real" money come into my life. And being the only child, if something happens to my parents, I'm pretty much screwed.

My Saturn is in my 2nd house, so is my Sun, my North Node as well, and my 2nd is ruled by Capricorn so material/financial gain is really delayed, even though those are things that are really vital to me

This scares me so much I could vomit everytime I think about it.

*What are your fears?*

---

Great thread idea.

I'm gonna represent my Cap Sun hardcore right now and say I fear failure.

I really fear wasting years tackling dreams that never come to fruition, and going totally broke. My dreams are based in art and not a ton of structure, so it's always a scary possibility.

posted October 08, 2015 04:22 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by aquagembaby:
Holy **** . What are these nightmares caused by do you think and most importantly are you better now or is this still going on???

---

The nightmares started after a very strange experience described in this thread posted November 14, 2014 01:54 AM (also see the one I posted immediately after):
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum27/HTML/002103.html

Nightmares of that nature are rare now, but would start again every October (maybe late September and/or going into early November) with a few random (and less gruesome) ones throughout the year. And because these nightmares prevented sleep and caused my adrenaline to spike, it often led to other problems, such as having a very short temper that contributed to my kicking a boy in the face when I was 13 (or right about) and being put in that mental ward as a result. When I was being pursued by a psycho rapist (while I was a 16-year-old runaway) it was my lack of sleep due to the October nightmares that had caused me to lose a lot of sense and awareness for him to get at me in the first place. And so on. These traumatic events would layer themselves over the original nightmares, all flaring up and sometimes mixing together in what I called the "October Nightmares."

To make a long story short, I spent years working through my PTSD with a support group and made my own program to get over it, and that includes years of self-hypnosis to both rewrite the dreams and also empower myself. (The most effective one was that once I realized I had a "child's reality"--helpless before adults, slow, doors won't lock, even when I have a gun it won't work, all aspects of myself when I was 12--I used self-hypnosis to find her and "grow her up" and teaching my inner-child all the skills I have now and this had a huge effect on what my nightmares were like as well as my PTSD in general. Again, this took years of work.)

I've had some spooky and possibly supernatural encounters as well. Like once when I was using an empowering song with self-hypnosis (during my October nightmares) I then prepared for bed putting the radio on when I heard a song I hadn't heard in years (Witches by Switchblade Symphony) with lyrics like this:

Your dreams are filled
With blood and gore
Now they're right outside your door
They're gonna get you

And as soon as I went to sleep I went to nightmares, though my self-hypnosis DID help. But I had the feeling that "something was fighting back" and just as I was taking back control of my mind, something was trying to reassert its control. And something that was able to "guide synchronicity" into making that song play to screw with me and try to demoralize me.

And what I'm most proud of is when I experienced sleep paralysis in which a "black gargoyle baby" (in fact, this, though there were minor differences) was sitting on me. While it felt evil, it wasn't THE evil that haunted me, this was less than that (or maybe I was just less easy to scare as an adult). Nevertheless, it was terrifying and I fought the urge to beg and then stared defiantly into its eyes asserting my will (I remember thinking that I'd read of these nightmares and that no one died in them but suddenly wondered, "If anyone did, then how would anyone know?") and I finally defeated it through sheer cussed willpower, and I think I won a major battle there, though the war continued.

posted October 08, 2015 04:36 AM            

Lol nah.

I feel uncomfortable in the dark. Pitch black, complete darkness is one of my fears.

And above all I fear dehumanization, torture of any kind...

posted October 08, 2015 05:29 AM            

I always need an escape route in life.

Having to comply with the powers that be, just to be able to survive.

posted October 08, 2015 07:15 AM            

It feels like talking about them, actually voicing them, gives them power or makes them more real. I don't even like to think about them at all, but that only applies to fears that I have no control over and can't prevent in any way.

If it's a fear that I can actually do something to actively prevent, them I go into full on "face your fears" mode and confront it head on. So, it's one of those two methods for me.

posted October 08, 2015 09:31 AM            

Of course the fear of torture, war, inhuman horrors...that's the worst...but I don't sit around thinking about that, because when I've done that, I am completely useless/morose. Still I've done it enough to be anti-war.

The most persistent fear I have is for my children and their future happiness. I feel like America has changed so drastically since I was a child, I barely recognize it anymore, and it's hard to send my children out into this (pardon me) zoo.

I don't want my children getting swallowed up in the rat race, the pitfalls, the twisted expectations that backfire so badly.

"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society."
-Jiddu Krishnamurti

posted October 08, 2015 11:07 AM            

I'm afraid of being left alone with my own thoughts for too long

posted October 08, 2015 12:24 PM            

So ... I guess drowning yes. And now, since I have a daughter I have more concern about how she will feel than myself. I don't care much for that. I can take it but I want to spare her all the suffering!! That's the awful thing about being a mom.

posted October 08, 2015 01:59 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by polkadotstars:
Ghosts and demonic entities. I've had plenty enough experiences of those, never want to experience them again!

---

posted October 08, 2015 02:21 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by PixieJane:
The nightmares started after a very strange experience described in this thread posted November 14, 2014 01:54 AM (also see the one I posted immediately after):
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum27/HTML/002103.html

Nightmares of that nature are rare now, but would start again every October (maybe late September and/or going into early November) with a few random (and less gruesome) ones throughout the year. And because these nightmares prevented sleep and caused my adrenaline to spike, it often led to other problems, such as having a very short temper that contributed to my kicking a boy in the face when I was 13 (or right about) and being put in that mental ward as a result. When I was being pursued by a psycho rapist (while I was a 16-year-old runaway) it was my lack of sleep due to the October nightmares that had caused me to lose a lot of sense and awareness for him to get at me in the first place. And so on. These traumatic events would layer themselves over the original nightmares, all flaring up and sometimes mixing together in what I called the "October Nightmares."

To make a long story short, I spent years working through my PTSD with a support group and made my own program to get over it, and that includes years of self-hypnosis to both rewrite the dreams and also empower myself. (The most effective one was that once I realized I had a "child's reality"--helpless before adults, slow, doors won't lock, even when I have a gun it won't work, all aspects of myself when I was 12--I used self-hypnosis to find her and "grow her up" and teaching my inner-child all the skills I have now and this had a huge effect on what my nightmares were like as well as my PTSD in general. Again, this took years of work.)

I've had some spooky and possibly supernatural encounters as well. Like once when I was using an empowering song with self-hypnosis (during my October nightmares) I then prepared for bed putting the radio on when I heard a song I hadn't heard in years (Witches by Switchblade Symphony) with lyrics like this:

Your dreams are filled
With blood and gore
Now they're right outside your door
They're gonna get you

And as soon as I went to sleep I went to nightmares, though my self-hypnosis DID help. But I had the feeling that "something was fighting back" and just as I was taking back control of my mind, something was trying to reassert its control. And something that was able to "guide synchronicity" into making that song play to screw with me and try to demoralize me.

And what I'm most proud of is when I experienced sleep paralysis in which a "black gargoyle baby" (in fact, this, though there were minor differences) was sitting on me. While it felt evil, it wasn't THE evil that haunted me, this was less than that (or maybe I was just less easy to scare as an adult). Nevertheless, it was terrifying and I fought the urge to beg and then stared defiantly into its eyes asserting my will (I remember thinking that I'd read of these nightmares and that no one died in them but suddenly wondered, "If anyone did, then how would anyone know?") and I finally defeated it through sheer cussed willpower, and I think I won a major battle there, though the war continued.

These days, my October nightmares are almost nonexistent, and when they happen they're not anywhere as bad as they used to be. Once in a blue moon (any time of the year) I'll still have a really gruesome dream (complete with evil dead) and yet I think it's just an "echo" or a "scar," that the evil itself is gone (from me anyway).

---

The sleep paralysis is very real and happens to so many people so you're definitely not alone with those. I've had A LOT of those in my life. Still to this day. It can be caused sometimes by hormonal imbalance, which makes sense b/c I've messed up my body with years of going on and off the birth control pill. Your nightmares though, seem intense. Have you considered that maybe these are night terrors as well?

posted October 08, 2015 03:05 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by polkadotstars:
Ghosts and demonic entities. I've had plenty enough experiences of those, never want to experience them again!

---

posted October 08, 2015 03:40 PM            

I'm scared of ghosts, supernatural phenomena potentially caused by ghosts, heights, dinosaurs, and natural disasters.

I used to have a lot of dreams about being in tsunamis and hurricanes. My fear of dinosaurs comes from dreaming about them.

posted October 08, 2015 04:53 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by DopGang:
Drowning! Astrologically I have no idea.

---

I have to say, THAT is one of my biggies. Not general drowning, because I can swim like a fish, but, specifically, I have an utter dread of driving over bridges that pass over water.

I will drive out of my way if time allows to avoid going over a long highway or bridge that goes over water. I'm always worried about my car going over the edge and that whole "trapped underwater in a car" thing happening. I've even done safety drills and got safety equipment in my car in case it ever does, but I always worry I'll panic in the moment if it ever really happened and drown. I hate even thinking about it.