posted October 23, 2015 06:24 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by sweetbee01:
I'm a Libra sun with her venus in scorpio and juno in scorpio! I was in a 2.5 year relationship (long distance the last year) with a Scorpio guy with a lot of Sag in his chart! He cheated for 9 months the past year. I found out a month prior before telling him I knew because I saw a few of his dating profiles online but he hid them and I felt angry/bitter but I hid those feelings and acted sweet to him and treated him a lot better until I confronted him about it and he said he had actually dated 16 and hooked up with 2 (no sex). At first he lied about the number but as weeks passed he was telling more truths. I had to know EVERYTHING that happened and he wants to try again because he says he loves me but ever since he told me what he did I lost all respect, love, affection and I just do not like him at all now. And everyday that passes I like him less and less that when I hear from him I get annoyed instead of happy like I did before the cheating. I think that any sweet thing he does now is pretentious and that he deserves to have a bad day and I actually am happy when he tells me he had a bad day. I also can not be affectionate towards him anymore and even though he is attractive I feel like he is a phony, gross, sleazy, and shallow. I also continuously put him down and am extremely blunt about the women he dated and how shallow he is to have dated those women (a few had boob jobs or wore very heavy makeup) and yes I found out who he dated. The way I feel about him now sharply contrasts the feelings I had for him before when I deeply cared about him, thought of marrying him, having a family and moving for him. Is this a Venus in scorpios typical reaction? Can a Venus in scorpio ever move past cheating?

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First off, I'm very sorry that happened to you. I'm not sure why so many people take the opportunity to be so unfaithful, when it would've been just as easy for him to be single and play around until he was ready to be with your awesome self.

I am not ViS, but my boyfriend is and this has been a big topic for us for a long time. Coincidentally, we are currently long distance (just after the past month or so), and it has been an important step for us in learning to trust each other.

My boyfriend was cheated on by every one of his exes. He told me about the first one - he found out she was cheating while visiting her at school and seeing a text from the guy she was with. He tracked down the guy and just started wailing on him - just punched his face in for like 20 minutes. Then I'm pretty sure he never spoke to her again.

He cut off each of his exes after this kind of behavior. Then, when he and I began dating, I noticed he was pretty convinced no matter what I said or did that I too was going to cheat on him. He avoided full commitment with me for a very long time. It took a ton of work and a few break ups for him to realize I actually just am NOT the type who cheats, and never will be. Things are much easier now between us and he's opened up to me a lot throughout the past year, but that first year, man... it was like I was guilty until proven innocent just because I was female, and he found me attractive, which meant other guys probably did too (and that I would obviously wind up dating them). Lol.

posted October 23, 2015 08:10 AM            

To credit what cappi said, if I'm married to a guy or really in love with him and some girl keeps messing with him and I know for a fact he's not engaging with her and he really wants her to leave him alone but she keeps messing with him being a stalker, that is the ONE AND ONLY time I would fight for my man. I don't make it a practice to fight for men, some of them do **** because they want you to fight for them. In that case I'd probably **** him up and forget about the girl, she can have him then. Don't play with my emotions.

**** Sorry just noticed this was an LDR, yeah no for an LDR I would just disappear like dopgang said up top. Haha too much stress for little to no reward...come to think of it I don't even think I'd do an LDR in the first place. But that's just me.

posted October 23, 2015 09:20 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by DopGang:

She tells me that she'll do all kinds of nasty things which includes mutilation of both our bodies, etc.
I laugh it off.

In reality I think she'd react just about the same as you. It depends. I'd probably have to deal with a lot of her emotion but if it were a long distance relationship she'd probably just disappear.

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Exactly what id say, but in reality id just disappear after going a little insane for a minute!

posted October 23, 2015 09:30 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by sweetbee01:
I'm a Libra sun with her venus in scorpio and juno in scorpio! I was in a 2.5 year relationship (long distance the last year) with a Scorpio guy with a lot of Sag in his chart! He cheated for 9 months the past year. I found out a month prior before telling him I knew because I saw a few of his dating profiles online but he hid them and I felt angry/bitter but I hid those feelings and acted sweet to him and treated him a lot better until I confronted him about it and he said he had actually dated 16 and hooked up with 2 (no sex). At first he lied about the number but as weeks passed he was telling more truths. I had to know EVERYTHING that happened and he wants to try again because he says he loves me but ever since he told me what he did I lost all respect, love, affection and I just do not like him at all now. And everyday that passes I like him less and less that when I hear from him I get annoyed instead of happy like I did before the cheating. I think that any sweet thing he does now is pretentious and that he deserves to have a bad day and I actually am happy when he tells me he had a bad day. I also can not be affectionate towards him anymore and even though he is attractive I feel like he is a phony, gross, sleazy, and shallow. I also continuously put him down and am extremely blunt about the women he dated and how shallow he is to have dated those women (a few had boob jobs or wore very heavy makeup) and yes I found out who he dated. The way I feel about him now sharply contrasts the feelings I had for him before when I deeply cared about him, thought of marrying him, loved talking to him for hours, having a family and moving for him. Is this a Venus in scorpios typical reaction? Can a Venus in scorpio ever move past cheating?

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I cant! Once thats done, its over(the talking to other girls alone would end it) I might spend a few months trying to make my feelings come back but, like you, id think he was gross! Id lose all respect for him!

Ive thought if a guy ever did that to me id tell him the only way to make it right would be for him to have to sit in a corner and watch me totally enjoying being with someone else. But i dont think that would fix it, most likely id still leave him!
Plus i dont think that it would be torture for everyone, some jerks would probably like it!
For me it would be the ultimate pain and torture to watch someone i love with someone else...that would hurt and conpletely destroy me. I would never cheat again if i had that as my punishment! I dont cheat though, i love to deeply to ever do that!!

posted October 23, 2015 09:55 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by DopGang:

She tells me that she'll do all kinds of nasty things which includes mutilation of both our bodies, etc.
I laugh it off.

In reality I think she'd react just about the same as you. It depends. I'd probably have to deal with a lot of her emotion but if it were a long distance relationship she'd probably just disappear.

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posted October 23, 2015 10:22 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by DopGang:
I didn't think about how it might look.
She knows that I laugh it off and it doesn't bother her. She laughs with me.

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posted October 23, 2015 10:30 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Gabby:
Thats the only way to deal with plutonian venus ppl....laugh it off together but in the back of your mind know, you dont want to do anything to hurt them because you will lose them. They cant reopen their heart to someone after that person has crushed them.

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posted October 23, 2015 10:31 AM            

You can think about it. And plan it but don't actually go through with it..

posted October 23, 2015 05:55 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by erickaf:
Venus is in detriment here ...
I know three friends who have this Venus.
One Scorpio others Libra...both extremely forgiving to their partners and put it behind them. All are married to the men who cheated on them however one thing I notice is they blame themselves for the cheating! And still do.
However I am not sure if it's a woman reaction or because their Venus is in detriment.

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posted October 23, 2015 07:02 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by charlie:
I would assume they would kill you in their minds. Slowly. Did Venus in Scorp REALLY love you they would never, ever forgive you for messing with their hearts. You'd be more done than done. Pretty much like a Cap.

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posted October 24, 2015 01:56 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Faith:
@sweetbee

Are you still with him? I don't understand that.

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posted October 24, 2015 03:42 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Gabby:
Which Venus is it your speaking of, which ones are with ppl who cheated?

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posted October 24, 2015 06:49 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by sweetbee01:
We are still "dating" but it can hardly be called that because I am so detached, rude, and cold to him and I feel attracted to other guys when I didn't before. Basically I think I feel just like he did when he cheated. I should clarify though he said that he actually went out with 6 of those online dates including 1 he met through a patient of his (he's a chiropractor) and all his patients are women. The rest he just had conversations with but they didn't end up going on a date is what he says. I thought I could get over it because I partially blamed myself because I didn't go see him the plenty of times he asked me the past year because I was going through a rough time where I needed the most support. My dog and 21 year old cousin had passed away and I was in a bad job with a really horrible boss those 9 months he cheated. I felt like if I had been there for him more that he would not have strayed but now I quit blaming myself and I am more miffed at him. He keeps saying that we can get over this and come back stronger than before but I feel checked out. It saddens me because I felt so deeply for him and I did not care about anything else (his looks, how much he made (he was making under 30k when I met him now he makes close to 6 figures) or anything else. I loved him for who he was and it upsets me that he dated really shallow and high maintenance women and that he lied to me the past 9 months when I made it clear that I wanted to break up and date other people but he said no yet he went out and dated other people behind my back! It may be my venus in scorpio in the 7th house speaking or my leo mars but him hooking up on the first date with strangers totally turned me off from him and I still don't understand why he insists he loves me still! Is sag venus delusional when it comes to love?

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Sweetie, point blank, cut that loser loose now and never look back!

posted October 24, 2015 08:42 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by sweetbee01:
I'm a Libra sun with her venus in scorpio and juno in scorpio! I was in a 2.5 year relationship (long distance the last year) with a Scorpio guy with a lot of Sag in his chart! He cheated for 9 months the past year. I found out a month prior before telling him I knew because I saw a few of his dating profiles online but he hid them and I felt angry/bitter but I hid those feelings and acted sweet to him and treated him a lot better until I confronted him about it and he said he had actually dated 16 and hooked up with 2 (no sex). At first he lied about the number but as weeks passed he was telling more truths. I had to know EVERYTHING that happened and he wants to try again because he says he loves me but ever since he told me what he did I lost all respect, love, affection and I just do not like him at all now. And everyday that passes I like him less and less that when I hear from him I get annoyed instead of happy like I did before the cheating. I think that any sweet thing he does now is pretentious and that he deserves to have a bad day and I actually am happy when he tells me he had a bad day. I also can not be affectionate towards him anymore and even though he is attractive I feel like he is a phony, gross, sleazy, and shallow. I also continuously put him down and am extremely blunt about the women he dated and how shallow he is to have dated those women (a few had boob jobs or wore very heavy makeup) and yes I found out who he dated. The way I feel about him now sharply contrasts the feelings I had for him before when I deeply cared about him, thought of marrying him, loved talking to him for hours, having a family and moving for him. Is this a Venus in scorpios typical reaction? Can a Venus in scorpio ever move past cheating?

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posted October 24, 2015 08:55 AM            

Have you ever posted your synastry with him? I'm really curious and would like to take a look, if that's not too inconvenient.

posted October 25, 2015 06:47 PM            

*When someone cheats look at it as the cosmos trying to tell you one of two things:

1. That person is not for you and there is someone else out there who is a better fit for you so go find them, he is waiting for you!.

2. Something in the relationship needs to change.

The solution is not trying to change the cheater, you accept that person the way they are and either forgive them, part ways and continue on your journey or talk to them about having an open relationship. Trying to force the cheater to fit into an ideal he can't is just setting yourself up for more disappointment in the future so see it as opportunity to expand your perception of what a relationship is and have an open relationship or walk away and see this relationship as an opportunity to learn about what you don't want in a partner and to learn to walk away gracefully knowing you deserve better but without any anger for the other, understanding the two of you are different.

As a venus in the 8th female with moon in pisces in the 3rd that is how I would deal with a cheater.

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"Karma needs to be understood, acknowledged, and it needs to be either resolved or dismissed. Karma accumulates when you feed it with energy; if you stop feeding it (that is, you cease to foment the hate, the pain, the guilt, or any other negative emotion), it usually dissolves by itself."

Samantha: But the heart is not like a box that gets filled up. It expands in size the more you love. I'm different from you. This doesn't make me love you any less. It actually makes me love you more.

Theodore Twombly: That doesn't make any sense. You are mine or you are not mine?

Samantha: No, Theodore. I'm yours and I'm not yours.

http://vimeo.com/43444347