Lindaland
  Astrology 2.0
  Parent with Aura of Negativity (Page 1)

Post New Topic  Post A Reply
profile | register | preferences | faq

UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone!
This topic is 2 pages long:   1  2 
next newest topic | next oldest topic
Author Topic:   Parent with Aura of Negativity
Electro DGX
Knowflake

Posts: 156
From: Uranus before I ran into Mars
Registered: Jul 2015

posted March 03, 2016 10:37 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Electro DGX     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hello. There's something that's been on my mind about the energy that my dad emits. For some reason it's always negative. I find that constantly has something negative to say and that he's always angry all-the-time. Me with my Pisces Jupiter can't handle that; it makes me just as negative. I have to get away from him in some way in order to stay positive because he just seems so negative. It's the negativity that's like anger is just floating everywhere. His Mars is in Gemini

I'm not the only one experiencing this. When we have family members staying over to visit (since most of them are from Ohio lol), they also feel the same way. My mom's told me that they tell her about how everything just feels so negative inside the household, and sometimes it causes them to randomly explode over little things because everything just seems so negative.

Why is it like this? I'll put up his natal chart so you can help me pin-point this issue. Thanks in advance

IP: Logged

DopGang
Knowflake

Posts: 2047
From: INTJ
Registered: Jun 2015

posted March 03, 2016 11:08 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for DopGang     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Sun square mars, one being prideful Leo and the other being communicative Gemini may give him that anger aura. Sun in the 4th and mars in the 1st, it's out there and very visible at home.

Virgo mercury and Venus can be very critical even if well intentioned, square that sag moon may mean that he's a little too blunt about it.
Proud of his family, cares about his family but often Virgo comes across in a way that doesn't seem very loving at all.

Looking at his chart I get the feeling that he comes across in a way that he doesn't mean to.
I'm not the most experienced but that's my little 2 cents worth.

IP: Logged

Electro DGX
Knowflake

Posts: 156
From: Uranus before I ran into Mars
Registered: Jul 2015

posted March 03, 2016 11:23 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Electro DGX     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by DopGang:
Sun square mars, one being prideful Leo and the other being communicative Gemini may give him that anger aura. Sun in the 4th and mars in the 1st, it's out there and very visible at home.

Virgo mercury and Venus can be very critical even if well intentioned, square that sag moon may mean that he's a little too blunt about it.
Proud of his family, cares about his family but often Virgo comes across in a way that doesn't seem very loving at all.

Looking at his chart I get the feeling that he comes across in a way that he doesn't mean to.
I'm not the most experienced but that's my little 2 cents worth.


The very visible at home bit is definitely true. He tells me that's how he feels all the time. Sometimes he can sound very loving and caring and then it just flip-flops and it doesn't sound that way at all.

IP: Logged

Faith
Knowflake

Posts: 16150
From: Bella's Hair Salon
Registered: Jul 2011

posted March 03, 2016 11:47 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Faith     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
edit

Saturn-Chiron-Uranus t-square.

Also POSITIVE aspects can manifest as the person giving themselves license to do whatever they want...sometimes these are more problematic than negative aspects.

IP: Logged

Electro DGX
Knowflake

Posts: 156
From: Uranus before I ran into Mars
Registered: Jul 2015

posted March 03, 2016 12:08 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Electro DGX     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Faith:
God.

Dated a guy two weeks older than your father, with a Gemini moon/Taurus Mars instead.

He was intense. Saturn-Chiron-Uranus t-square.

Um, while you were "in" with him he was the most caring, gracious person you could imagine. If you were "out" he hated you with so much vitriol it was scary. And eventually, basically everyone he knew including his parents (and me, obviously) went from "in" to "out."

He's a father now and I have felt sorry for his kids. Obviously not everyone born in that time frame has serious issues (the usual disclaimer.) But this guy did.


That sounds horrible

Honestly, I wouldn't be suprised if my dad did the same (as sad as that sounds), considering how much he talks crap about everyone in the world. He has been psychologically abusive in the past and now when he says he loves me, I feel nothing. This is probably linked to a constant feeling of needing to break away and go after the things I want alone.

My Mom has a Cancer mars along with Leo Mars in the fourth, and she goes through constant stress because of insurance and breast cancer and etc. I don't understand how she can constantly put up with it all :/

IP: Logged

Violets
Knowflake

Posts: 5485
From:
Registered: Apr 2011

posted March 03, 2016 01:04 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Violets     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I can't comment much on his chart, but yeah... Mars on the Asc, with a bunch of squares and an opposition might do it.

My mom has the same aura, and I can completely relate to what you're saying. My husband notices it, and she just can't seem to say anything that's not negative. Her Moon is conjunct my Mars, so I suspect my reaction is intensified in that manner.

It takes me weeks (sometimes months) to recover from an extended visit with my mom.

What's equally difficult for me as an adult is that I now have to try to erase the patterns of negativity that have been ingrained in me (I also have Pisces Jupiter and Sun).

It's tiresome.

IP: Logged

Faith
Knowflake

Posts: 16150
From: Bella's Hair Salon
Registered: Jul 2011

posted March 03, 2016 01:28 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Faith     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
^ Hi Violets nice to see you.

ETA: Mars on the ASC, how did I miss that? I agree.

@Electro

Thanks for your reply, I erased it because I get creepy vibes even thinking about that person and whatever his issues were. I have to hope he's changed for the better by now.

I'm sorry your father is also negative. I noticed his sun squares his nodal axis and that's another hard aspect.

Good thing you are almost of the age to move away from it.

IP: Logged

Electro DGX
Knowflake

Posts: 156
From: Uranus before I ran into Mars
Registered: Jul 2015

posted March 03, 2016 01:30 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Electro DGX     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Faith:
^ Hi Violets nice to see you.


@Electro

Thanks for your reply, I erased it because I get creepy vibes even thinking about that person and whatever his issues were. I have to hope he's changed for the better by now.

I'm sorry your father is also negative. I noticed his sun squares his nodal axis and that's another hard aspect.

Good thing you are almost of the age to move away from it.


Thanks (also thanks to Violet for sharing)

If you want me to unquote you then I can

IP: Logged

StubbornVirgo
Knowflake

Posts: 693
From: Sittin' on Mercury
Registered: Jul 2015

posted March 03, 2016 01:32 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for StubbornVirgo     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I agree with much of what has already been said by others here. I'm just going to add that I imagine that Mars conjunct ASC probably makes it worse.

I have Moon conjunct Mars (also in Gemini) square my Venus in Virgo, and while that's not the same as an ASC conjunction, the effects are similar. I internalize a lot of negativity, whereas it sounds like your dad expresses it. However, I avoid it like the plague in other people...Pisces ASC. I have a pretty tight hold on my negativity (my Moon/Mars conjunction is sextile my Jupiter in Leo, which helps) but any additional negativity can make me lose my balance.

Any Mars conjunction can usually be helped through exercise or some other physical activity, though.

IP: Logged

Electro DGX
Knowflake

Posts: 156
From: Uranus before I ran into Mars
Registered: Jul 2015

posted March 03, 2016 01:38 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Electro DGX     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by StubbornVirgo:
I agree with much of what has already been said by others here. I'm just going to add that I imagine that Mars conjunct ASC probably makes it worse.

I have Moon conjunct Mars (also in Gemini) square my Venus in Virgo, and while that's not the same as an ASC conjunction, the effects are similar. I internalize a lot of negativity, whereas it sounds like your dad expresses it. However, I avoid it like the plague in other people...Pisces ASC. I have a pretty tight hold on my negativity (my Moon/Mars conjunction is sextile my Jupiter in Leo, which helps) but any additional negativity can make me lose my balance.

Any Mars conjunction can usually be helped through exercise or some other physical activity, though.


It sounds as if Mars Conj. Ascendant is a contributing factor. I have it exact in Scorpio, so it probably makes it even worse for me because it's just intensified, not to mention my exact Moon Opposite Pluto.

I've been trying to get myself into some form of physical activity. I'm going to get involved in some sort of martial arts program

IP: Logged

DopGang
Knowflake

Posts: 2047
From: INTJ
Registered: Jun 2015

posted March 03, 2016 01:40 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for DopGang     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Does he seem to be negative about specific things?
Can you elaborate on that?

IP: Logged

SoStellarOne
Knowflake

Posts: 95
From: Charleston,SC, US
Registered: Feb 2012

posted March 03, 2016 02:23 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for SoStellarOne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
ElectroDGX,
I can relate to what you're going through because I absolutely do not get along with my father due to the fact that he's: petty, materialistic, narrow-minded, controlling, underhanded, jealous, one-sided, greedy, manipulative, secretive, phoney and deceptive. He's a 1956 Capricorn of the 3rd Decan and we can NEVER hit it off. He treats me like crap, however if I have a naturally harmonious relationship with other family members? He would have a jealous rage trying to tell me (a grown man in his 30's) not to talk to them. However, when I look at his synastry towards mines? His Saturn is squared to all my personal planets, his Mars and Neptune are squared my Mercury and his Uranus and Pluto are opposed my Mercury so it was doomed from the start. He always tries to dull my appeal towards other people because I'm genuine, kind, caring, honest and upfront. I always dress wearing bright, bold colors which reflects my personality. . . he hates that and tried to tell me to change my style. I said, "No" because if I can't be me? What else could I do? When I'm not around him, I'm happy. This man is like an energy vampire always trying to change me and even go as far trying to cheat me out of my own money, so now I just limit his access to me. The more I do that, the happier and more comfortable I am in my own space.

IP: Logged

Electro DGX
Knowflake

Posts: 156
From: Uranus before I ran into Mars
Registered: Jul 2015

posted March 03, 2016 02:59 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Electro DGX     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by DopGang:
Does he seem to be negative about specific things?
Can you elaborate on that?


He hates his job, and constantly complains about how bad people are all the time. He gets extremly mad about the littlest thing; including having not remembered a password for his iTunes account. He then retorts to verbal harrassment when I can't remember the password and then says I act like I know everything and am terrible at communication.

When he gets mad, it's always as if "We all live perfect lives and his life is so traumatic," but then he thinks he's always right and we're (me and the rest of my family) are a bunch of idiots. He also called me a "****** " for accidentally leaving his lunchbox outside. Also, he acts as if no one ever appreaciates him. He can also resort to intimidation tactics and uses personal experiences as a weapon, even though he constantly tells me to "talk with him when I have problems".

IP: Logged

Electro DGX
Knowflake

Posts: 156
From: Uranus before I ran into Mars
Registered: Jul 2015

posted March 03, 2016 03:06 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Electro DGX     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by SoStellarOne:
ElectroDGX,
I can relate to what you're going through because I absolutely do not get along with my father due to the fact that he's: petty, materialistic, narrow-minded, controlling, underhanded, jealous, one-sided, greedy, manipulative, secretive, phoney and deceptive. He's a 1956 Capricorn of the 3rd Decan and we can NEVER hit it off. He treats me like crap, however if I have a naturally harmonious relationship with other family members? He would have a jealous rage trying to tell me (a grown man in his 30's) not to talk to them. However, when I look at his synastry towards mines? His Saturn is squared to all my personal planets, his Mars and Neptune are squared my Mercury and his Uranus and Pluto are opposed my Mercury so it was doomed from the start. He always tries to dull my appeal towards other people because I'm genuine, kind, caring, honest and upfront. I always dress wearing bright, bold colors which reflects my personality. . . he hates that and tried to tell me to change my style. I said, "No" because if I can't be me? What else could I do? When I'm not around him, I'm happy. This man is like an energy vampire always trying to change me and even go as far trying to cheat me out of my own money, so now I just limit his access to me. The more I do that, the happier and more comfortable I am in my own space.

That reminded me of me and my dad's synastry. It doesn't look the best

IP: Logged

DopGang
Knowflake

Posts: 2047
From: INTJ
Registered: Jun 2015

posted March 03, 2016 03:18 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for DopGang     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
**Definitely** sounds like his Virgo to me. "Unevolved" Virgo that is.
I have a lot of Virgo also. I get upset over small things because they seem like such a waste of time that could be totally preventable and/or the solution to them is far more complicated than need be. (I don't like Apple because it seems like everything is such a pain in the arse with them) Big things are not so bad because then I can sit down and formulate a real plan to tackle the issue with. Small things just get in my way. I complain at work, but not a LOT and for a while when things were AWFUL I would complain about work too. Generally I do like to leave work at work and try not to carry the mood home with me. Your dad sounds pretty bad.
I've switched a bit because now I see complaining itself as a big waste of my time so I try not a whole lot.
I used to get so angry at idiot drivers but eventually I quit. Realizing that I was NEVER going to make a dent in the issue it was just easier to say "f*** it" and let it go.
That's that Virgo for you. Sounds like it to me.

IP: Logged

Dreaminess
Knowflake

Posts: 952
From: norway
Registered: Aug 2014

posted March 03, 2016 03:55 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dreaminess     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by DopGang:
**Definitely** sounds like his Virgo to me. "Unevolved" Virgo that is.
I have a lot of Virgo also. I get upset over small things because they seem like such a waste of time that could be totally preventable and/or the solution to them is far more complicated than need be. (I don't like Apple because it seems like everything is such a pain in the arse with them) Big things are not so bad because then I can sit down and formulate a real plan to tackle the issue with. Small things just get in my way. I complain at work, but not a LOT and for a while when things were AWFUL I would complain about work too. Generally I do like to leave work at work and try not to carry the mood home with me. Your dad sounds pretty bad.
I've switched a bit because now I see complaining itself as a big waste of my time so I try not a whole lot.
I used to get so angry at idiot drivers but eventually I quit. Realizing that I was NEVER going to make a dent in the issue it was just easier to say "f*** it" and let it go.
That's that Virgo for you. Sounds like it to me.

I was thinking it must be the virgo influence too. My mom got a virgo venus and my friend`s brother got a virgo moon and they nag a lot.

IP: Logged

Electro DGX
Knowflake

Posts: 156
From: Uranus before I ran into Mars
Registered: Jul 2015

posted March 03, 2016 04:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Electro DGX     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by DopGang:
**Definitely** sounds like his Virgo to me. "Unevolved" Virgo that is.
I have a lot of Virgo also. I get upset over small things because they seem like such a waste of time that could be totally preventable and/or the solution to them is far more complicated than need be. (I don't like Apple because it seems like everything is such a pain in the arse with them) Big things are not so bad because then I can sit down and formulate a real plan to tackle the issue with. Small things just get in my way. I complain at work, but not a LOT and for a while when things were AWFUL I would complain about work too. Generally I do like to leave work at work and try not to carry the mood home with me. Your dad sounds pretty bad.
I've switched a bit because now I see complaining itself as a big waste of my time so I try not a whole lot.
I used to get so angry at idiot drivers but eventually I quit. Realizing that I was NEVER going to make a dent in the issue it was just easier to say "f*** it" and let it go.
That's that Virgo for you. Sounds like it to me.

He does have really bad road rage. He sends death threats to those who honk at him while driving.

I don't have any earth in my chart, so it makes it harder for me to understand why he has these tendencies. To me, I'm just like, "Complaining will solve nothing." Yet, he acts as if I'm the one complaining all the time. He talks a lot of crap about me when I'm not around, and when I am around, he's a huge smartass.

IP: Logged

Violets
Knowflake

Posts: 5485
From:
Registered: Apr 2011

posted March 03, 2016 04:54 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Violets     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Your dad and my mom should be pals.

Hi, Faith!

IP: Logged

Electro DGX
Knowflake

Posts: 156
From: Uranus before I ran into Mars
Registered: Jul 2015

posted March 03, 2016 04:59 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Electro DGX     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Violets:
Your dad and my mom should be pals.

Hi, Faith!


LOL that's a phontastisch idea! Then we both can be like, "See ya"

IP: Logged

DopGang
Knowflake

Posts: 2047
From: INTJ
Registered: Jun 2015

posted March 03, 2016 06:00 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for DopGang     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Electro DGX:
He does have really bad road rage. He sends death threats to those who honk at him while driving.

I don't have any earth in my chart, so it makes it harder for me to understand why he has these tendencies. To me, I'm just like, "Complaining will solve nothing." Yet, he acts as if I'm the one complaining all the time. He talks a lot of crap about me when I'm not around, and when I am around, he's a huge smartass.


Holy crap!
He's over the top! Even at my worst I never did anything like that.

IP: Logged

Desiring Shadows
Knowflake

Posts: 3471
From: UNITED STATES, BABY
Registered: Jan 2012

posted March 03, 2016 06:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Desiring Shadows     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
That sucks dude. Sorry to hear.
I think it's Mercury square Neptune because that makes you a little mentally imaginative especially with Neptune in the relationship house ... and with that imaginative Mercury combined with his Mars conjunct Asc personality he expresses

Saturn in the 3rd is why he is so negative and nagging and sees problems

I recommend you see him as little as possible. He's not well and I don't think that's good for your health to be around the negativity. When you are there succumb to his wishes and please him so when you're gone you can have happy memories of your distant father.

IP: Logged

Electro DGX
Knowflake

Posts: 156
From: Uranus before I ran into Mars
Registered: Jul 2015

posted March 03, 2016 07:09 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Electro DGX     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Desiring Shadows:
That sucks dude. Sorry to hear.
I think it's Mercury square Neptune because that makes you a little mentally imaginative especially with Neptune in the relationship house ... and with that imaginative Mercury combined with his Mars conjunct Asc personality he expresses

Saturn in the 3rd is why he is so negative and nagging and sees problems

I recommend you see him as little as possible. He's not well and I don't think that's good for your health to be around the negativity. When you are there succumb to his wishes and please him so when you're gone you can have happy memories of your distant father.


I appreciate the advice but for that last bit, I absolutely cannot succumb to his wishes. I will hate myself for eternity and never forgive myself for being so subservient ever again. My Aquarius side will hate it and having an Aqua stellium of 5, also with a Mars asc conjunct in Scorpio and an Aries Saturn, I will probably explode at some point. I've struggled with issues relating to assertiveness and by doing that, it'll make things more problematic for me :/

I do plan on moving away somewhere. That's definitely been on my mind. But this is me being honest with how I feel.

IP: Logged

Desiring Shadows
Knowflake

Posts: 3471
From: UNITED STATES, BABY
Registered: Jan 2012

posted March 03, 2016 07:30 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Desiring Shadows     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
You KNOW he's not well: this should make it easy to rise above his actions and know he had an illness. At the rate hes going, you know it's not you, it's him who has the problem. So what I'm saying is you don't NEED to REACT to every attitude he throws at you. In fact: the best way to cope wit this is ignore his attitude. Whenever he lashes out at you, listen to what he says and respond as if he said it with a positive smiling attitude and this way you'll be rational and calm and it might even change his response altogether. If not at least you will know you are not him and you tried your best.

Then you can leave the situation and take a yoga class or drink some tea.. (Take a nap. Massage. Hot bath. Etc)

IP: Logged

Electro DGX
Knowflake

Posts: 156
From: Uranus before I ran into Mars
Registered: Jul 2015

posted March 03, 2016 07:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Electro DGX     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Desiring Shadows:
You KNOW he's not well: this should make it easy to rise above his actions and know he had an illness. At the rate hes going, you know it's not you, it's him who has the problem. So what I'm saying is you don't NEED to REACT to every attitude he throws at you. In fact: the best way to cope wit this is ignore his attitude. Whenever he lashes out at you, listen to what he says and respond as if he said it with a positive smiling attitude and this way you'll be rational and calm and it might even change his response altogether. If not at least you will know you are not him and you tried your best.

Then you can leave the situation and take a yoga class or drink some tea.. (Take a nap. Massage. Hot bath. Etc)


I see what you mean. Of course I'm not going to lash out at every single attitude, but there are points where I will make my stance. It's not easy staying rational and calm when he's standing right up to you and looking at you as if he's going to beat you up.

It's just hard, especially when dealing with depression.

IP: Logged

Desiring Shadows
Knowflake

Posts: 3471
From: UNITED STATES, BABY
Registered: Jan 2012

posted March 03, 2016 08:01 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Desiring Shadows     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Electro DGX:
I see what you mean. Of course I'm not going to lash out at every single attitude, but there are points where I will make my stance. It's not easy staying rational and calm when he's standing right up to you and looking at you as if he's going to beat you up.

It's just hard, especially when dealing with depression.


I'm so sorry.

IP: Logged


This topic is 2 pages long:   1  2 

All times are Eastern Standard Time

next newest topic | next oldest topic

Administrative Options: Close Topic | Archive/Move | Delete Topic
Post New Topic  Post A Reply
Hop to:

Contact Us | Linda-Goodman.com

Copyright 2000-2016

Powered by Infopop www.infopop.com © 2000
Ultimate Bulletin Board 5.46a