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Topic: Virgins over 20 years old?
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aquaguy91 Moderator Posts: 12054 From: Wankety Wankerson Registered: Jan 2012
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posted August 21, 2016 11:49 AM
^ That article doesn't have any hard facts. The best part was the comments section where a guy brought up the fact that many women are addicted to romance novels. They are no different than porn and could lead women to have unrealistic fantasies about men, but nobody ever really talks about that.IP: Logged |
Faith Knowflake Posts: 19091 From: Bella's Hair Salon Registered: Jul 2011
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posted August 21, 2016 11:53 AM
quote: Originally posted by aquaguy91: ^ That article doesn't have any hard facts
It begins with: quote: In a 2004 testimony before the United States Senate, Dr. Jill Manning shared some interesting data regarding pornography and relationships. In her research she found that 56 percent of divorce cases involved one party having an obsessive interest in pornographic websites.1 Another source, the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, polled 350 divorce attorneys in 2003 where two thirds of them reported that the Internet played a significant role in the divorces, with excessive interest in online porn contributing to more than half such cases.
If these are not hard facts, what are? True, women's emotional fantasies can get out of hand as much as men's sexual fantasies. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91 Moderator Posts: 12054 From: Wankety Wankerson Registered: Jan 2012
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posted August 21, 2016 12:00 PM
I meant it didn't give any information about how porn is destroying marriages. They just polled women and they gave porn as the reason for their divorces. Back to the topic of romance novels, did I ever tell you that my dad started reading romance novels in prison? He used to be a porn fanatic, and it seems romance novels have filled that void for him.IP: Logged |
Faith Knowflake Posts: 19091 From: Bella's Hair Salon Registered: Jul 2011
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posted August 21, 2016 01:16 PM
quote: Originally posted by aquaguy91: I meant it didn't give any information about how porn is destroying marriages. They just polled women and they gave porn as the reason for their divorces.
? If women file for divorce because of porn, then porn is destroying marriages. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91 Moderator Posts: 12054 From: Wankety Wankerson Registered: Jan 2012
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posted August 21, 2016 02:28 PM
quote: Originally posted by Faith: ?If women file for divorce because of porn, then porn is destroying marriages.
So, if a bunch of people cited unicorns as the reason for their divorces that means unicorns are destroying marriages? IP: Logged |
headintheclouds91 Knowflake Posts: 374 From: Registered: Mar 2016
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posted August 21, 2016 02:36 PM
🙈🙊😼👅 IP: Logged |
meyray Knowflake Posts: 629 From: Registered: Oct 2012
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posted August 21, 2016 03:08 PM
aquaguy91, why do you refuse to acknowledge the Bofa effect? IP: Logged |
aquaguy91 Moderator Posts: 12054 From: Wankety Wankerson Registered: Jan 2012
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posted August 21, 2016 03:13 PM
quote: Originally posted by meyray: aquaguy91, why do you refuse to acknowledge the Bofa effect?
WTF is that? IP: Logged |
meyray Knowflake Posts: 629 From: Registered: Oct 2012
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posted August 21, 2016 03:16 PM
quote: Originally posted by aquaguy91: WTF is that?
BOFA DEEZ NUTS IP: Logged |
Faith Knowflake Posts: 19091 From: Bella's Hair Salon Registered: Jul 2011
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posted August 21, 2016 03:41 PM
quote: Originally posted by aquaguy91: So, if a bunch of people cited unicorns as the reason for their divorces that means unicorns are destroying marriages?
If those people are the ones filing for divorce because of the unicorns, YES.
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aquaguy91 Moderator Posts: 12054 From: Wankety Wankerson Registered: Jan 2012
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posted August 21, 2016 03:45 PM
quote: Originally posted by meyray: BOFA DEEZ NUTS
LOLIP: Logged |
aquaguy91 Moderator Posts: 12054 From: Wankety Wankerson Registered: Jan 2012
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posted August 21, 2016 03:45 PM
quote: Originally posted by meyray: BOFA DEEZ NUTS
LOLIP: Logged |
Plut0nian2 Knowflake Posts: 157 From: Registered: Apr 2014
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posted August 21, 2016 06:18 PM
quote: Originally posted by Faith:  Are you a man, by the way?
No I am not a man But I know and I've talked with many of them. They tend to be sincere when they know that they won't have sex with you.. Or when you ask them about their thoughts for their girlfriends etc quote: Originally posted by Faith: Fortunately I married a normal guy!!!!!!!!So I can just forget the creepiness exists if I want to. 
It would be better not to forget it, although they do not admit it because they know they be called creepy/weird It doesnt mean that they dont think about what you would call sexually creepy. I've read somewhere but if you have many male friends you could understand it by yourself.. Some men where asked when alone what was they fantasize about (sexually) Most of them fantasized about being with two women at the same time. After that they were asked if they would cheat their partners of they had that opportunity to make their fantasies a reality. All of them answered that if their partner wouldn't learn about it then yes. Some of them were asked the same first question when they were with their partners.. Guess what.. No one gave the same answer in front of their partners. Answers this time were something like "I fantasize about having sex with my girlfriend and I would never cheat on her" I've searched a lot to find that page but I can not find it. It's been more than a year that I've read it.
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Plut0nian2 Knowflake Posts: 157 From: Registered: Apr 2014
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posted August 21, 2016 06:29 PM
quote: Originally posted by meyray: [b]@Plut0nian2It's unwise to spread the idea that this is "just how men are" because it's not. It's a psychological condition not something natural. And it definitely doesn't apply to the majority.[/B]
I didn't say though that this is how men are.. I said that there are many men that have that problem. Thw only thing that I do not find natural is something you do or is done to you without you wanting it. Like rape. Everything else is considered normal. IP: Logged |
Faith Knowflake Posts: 19091 From: Bella's Hair Salon Registered: Jul 2011
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posted August 21, 2016 06:38 PM
quote: Originally posted by Plut0nian2: It would be better not to forget it,
I have better things to think about. quote: Originally posted by Plut0nian2: ...although they do not admit it because they know they be called creepy/weird It doesnt mean that they dont think about what you would call sexually creepy.
You don't even know what I was thinking of when I used that word. quote: Originally posted by Plut0nian2: After that they were asked if they would cheat their partners of they had that opportunity to make their fantasies a reality. All of them answered that if their partner wouldn't learn about it then yes.
That's not what I had in mind when I said "creepy" either. Though that does leave a kind of bitter taste in my mouth. IP: Logged |
Faith Knowflake Posts: 19091 From: Bella's Hair Salon Registered: Jul 2011
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posted August 21, 2016 06:42 PM
quote: Originally posted by Plut0nian2:
Thw only thing that I do not find natural is something you do or is done to you without you wanting it. Like rape. Everything else is considered normal.
Well the neurochemistry of porn addicts is messed up, and that's why they are addicts. If this addiction takes over their life, that may be "normal" to you, but I personally think there is more to life than masturbation, and if that's all someone can do with their time, and their families are falling apart because of it but they still cannot stop, that is unhealthy and degenerative in my view. ETA: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_addiction IP: Logged |
Plut0nian2 Knowflake Posts: 157 From: Registered: Apr 2014
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posted August 21, 2016 06:56 PM
quote: Originally posted by aquaguy91: [QUOTE] There are a lot of factors that can lead to sex going away after children are born. For example, a woman might not lose the baby weight and she might stop taking care of her appearance. This could result in a man not being sexually attracted to his wife anymore. Secondly, sometimes women cut men off after babies are born. My friend's wife had a baby last year, and she hasn't had sex with him since then. That could also lead men to "look elsewhere" so to speak.
I totally agree I just stated one of the many reasons. What you say does prove though that love is not enough and for some not even linked with sex. Because if love was enough then the appearance and the extra weight wouldnt matter. quote: Originally posted by aquaguy91: [QUOTE]Originally posted by Faith: [b] Other women's lives have been ruined by porn addictions. With their husbands saying things like, "Why don't you get implants? And pierce this, that, and that? And let's invite a third party in..." Gross
And how many men actually do those things? I'd wager not many. [/B][/QUOTE] Once more I agree with you. It is not common. I would consider the example I said way more common than this Faith. And you actually believe it is common because you had 1 friend in that situation.. I had many men telling me the that they have the problem I mentioned before (seeing their wives as their mother's babies and not as women anymore)
quote: Originally posted by aquaguy91: ^ That article doesn't have any hard facts. The best part was the comments section where a guy brought up the fact that many women are addicted to romance novels. They are no different than porn and could lead women to have unrealistic fantasies about men, but nobody ever really talks about that.
I agree for the third time with you. Actually here you are saying what I said in other words. To begin with its wrong that boys and girls are raised totally different when it comes to love/sex It's natural that they'll want different things. Girls are told romantic fairy tales Boys watch porn and have sex in an early age.
Girls should feel ashamed if they have sexual arousals as early as boys and even more if they indulge in them. Boys should feel ashamed if they think in a more romantic way because they will become men and they should think only about sex. Both are extremes and both are wrong. Reality doesnt let romance and sex feel so great. Girls have genitals and sexual urges too, and way too many of them have periods in early ages That definitely means something.. Boys should feel free to express any sweet feeling without being judged. And see women as equal beings and not sexual objects Men are not like princes in fairy tales Women are not like pornstars Love and sex do not come naturally together love and relationships are not something easy and fairy tale like.. You have to really work for it. It is really difficult to build and keep them.
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Faith Knowflake Posts: 19091 From: Bella's Hair Salon Registered: Jul 2011
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posted August 21, 2016 07:01 PM
quote: And you actually believe it is common because you had 1 friend in that situation.
Just because I mentioned ONE friend does not mean: a) that is the only reason I think that b) that is the only friend I have with this problem. You make too many assumptions and it's not my job to fix that. So, I leave you to your assumption-making.
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PixieJane Moderator Posts: 8291 From: CA Registered: Oct 2010
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posted August 22, 2016 12:41 PM
Btw, though a bit OT on internet and dating, I've been getting "how to pick up girls" recommended to me in YT. This started a couple of weeks or so ago and wondered why this would be recommended to me, and I realized it started right about the same time I was having a bunch of video games recommended to me! Mid to late July I started researching League of Legends and other games and ended up watching some YT videos on it as well with a focus on characters and story, which generally included video game strategies and reviews, and a few brilliant trailers that I wish were for movies rather than video games. The recommendations for video game vids, and how to pick up women, started soon after. Once I realized why I was getting them I took to ignoring them, but this morning I got curious and watched a couple. Both were a little flash (tips and stuff, and trying to sound "scientific" about it) before trying to get your cash (or at least clicking their links which I wasn't about to do). One, they both encouraged playing mind games with women that made me think of several threads on LL talking about guys acting that way, like seeming to be into her and then going cold for awhile, basically to build up the stress and tension so that she will want him more, get to wondering what happened which gets her to obsess over him, and then his attention later will seem more rewarding as it brings greater relief (sounds like a strategy to catch fish--how to not try to reel a fish in too fast--rather than women to me, but gotta say, going by plenty of LL threads the strategy is effective, at least when they time it just right, and as one of the vids pointed out it's a common theme in romance genre because it works--but if not timed just right then it would blow up in his face with both parting upset with the other, and even if it did work he's still not bonding to her as a person, which probably makes it difficult to have sex, especially when she has a mind of her own about how things are supposed to go, one that is usually nothing like a porn script, that makes him very unsure of himself). I just have to wonder...what happens when guys playing these mind games they hear about play them against women who are playing their own mind game strategies they read about in Cosmo on him? The second is that I wonder if this is a sign that guys really into video games are more geared to solitary interaction (at least through a computer) rather than learning actual relationship skills and bonding with people on a deeper level? (The brain also learns by repetition, and if most repetitive actions are online with almost nothing offline then it's even more so like this.) IF it is then it could add why internet porn works so much more for them than a real relationship. And if they were then pressured (or desiring on their own) to try for a real relationship then these vids (which make me wonder how much like "cheat codes" they are applied to human relationships rather than games) would appeal, and that would help explain why I started getting them after watching vids on video games. (Worth noting another vid was on how to "pick up younger women" that I meant to get to, mainly to figure out what age range is being targeted, but 2 vids was about all I could stand for now. I might watch that other one later.) IP: Logged |
Soltze Knowflake Posts: 1179 From: Registered: Mar 2015
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posted August 23, 2016 05:17 PM
Well many of the posters seem to have Venus-Saturn or Mars-Saturn harsh aspects. I have Venus opp Saturn. It happened at 24 when Pluto conjuncted my Saturn.Bless Pluto, I've had plenty of fun since then. IP: Logged |
Plut0nian2 Knowflake Posts: 157 From: Registered: Apr 2014
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posted August 23, 2016 06:34 PM
PixieJane I didn't want to quote your replies too Because they were big ones as mine. I agree with what you said I found interesting some facts you talked about, I didn't know about them.. like the brothel and the rapist thing. Especially with the rapist one I was negatively surprised The Real problem is the way we grow up Not Internet not porn not anything else I know many moms nowadays that do not talk to their daughters about periods They say it's a shame Wtf? Where is the shame in something that happens naturally and all girls have it and you can do nothing to change it? Both girls and boys should learn to respect all people equally no matter what gender/age/color or anything alse they have/are. In love girls should learn that there is no perfect wealthy kind and romantic prince waiting for them.. And they should learn about sex as soon as boys. Boys should learn that females arent perfect looking sexual objects and that feelings come first and after sometime sex acompanies those feelings.. But if one of these is not good or does not exist at all then the relationship won't last. Also both should learn that love and sex (relationships) are not something magical Fairytale like. A relationship does need a lot of work. Blaming something external is not a solution Porn is smth you choose to see People always have been masturbating Porn makes it just easier Problems according sex which was always considered a shame especially before Are not new at all So porn is not the real problem Seeing all those fake tv girls Amd seeing sex scenes all the time without a warning when watching thriller movies for example Is a bigger problem in my opinion but no one talks about it You can see porn videos when you choose it and want it. But almost all movies no matter what genre they are, have porn scenes in them Same goes for tv Why? I am afraid all the time letting my cousins see tv or movies online because porn ads pop up all the time. So no Porn is everywhere And porn vids are the less dangerous. Internet is not evil itself All bad things happening today happened in the past too. but we learn about them because of internet And because now people are more open while a decade or two ago everything "bad" was happening in secret because all prople wanted to have a good image in order not to be criticized. As for your last reply I do not even wanna talk about it I find it too sad that those kind of videos/advices exist. The correct title of the video would be "How to pretend someone you are not in order to have sex with the girl you like by lying touched hear nonstop" I find it really sad Be Your real self is the best advice and most successful Because no matter how good you are at pretending you will eventually get tired of it And the other one will understand that you are not who he thought you were, which means you are not the one he loved. So why losing time and get hurt by pretending someone we are not? It's the easiest way to fail.
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Plut0nian2 Knowflake Posts: 157 From: Registered: Apr 2014
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posted August 23, 2016 06:36 PM
quote: Originally posted by Soltze: Well many of the posters seem to have Venus-Saturn or Mars-Saturn harsh aspects. I have Venus opp Saturn. It happened at 24 when Pluto conjuncted my Saturn.Bless Pluto, I've had plenty of fun since then.
I am happy for you Which house does Your natal Saturn ruled and in which is it in?
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frankie2912 Knowflake Posts: 1654 From: Here and There Registered: Apr 2011
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posted August 24, 2016 10:16 PM
I was a virgin until i was 21. Had a lot of sexual and self esteem hangups. Out of all yhe things you mentioned, I only have Mars sq Saturn. And I think it's a pretty loose orb. Sometimes I attribute it to my 8th house Chiron sq Jupiter at 0 degrees, applying. IP: Logged |
DualGemV2 Newflake Posts: 22 From: Registered: Aug 2016
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posted August 25, 2016 04:51 AM
I have Pluto trine Mars as described earlier. I'm not in a relationship right now and I don't intend to. I have a lot of goals I want to catch up on, so I don't have time for a relationship. My parents aren't very intellectual, they always pressured me to get the minimum amount of education and then work in the gov. They derailed my plans, but fortunately I have the initiative again. IP: Logged |
Plut0nian2 Knowflake Posts: 157 From: Registered: Apr 2014
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posted August 25, 2016 05:24 AM
quote: Originally posted by frankie2912: I was a virgin until i was 21. Had a lot of sexual and self esteem hangups. Out of all yhe things you mentioned, I only have Mars sq Saturn. And I think it's a pretty loose orb. Sometimes I attribute it to my 8th house Chiron sq Jupiter at 0 degrees, applying.
This aspect may have delayed it just a little bit. Although the title said over 20 years old.. 21 to me seems really fine. Even 23. But over 23 seems like way to old for that to me :/
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