posted December 29, 2016 02:51 PM            

MELTDOWN Time -----
*okay... this is all about me today.
Not meaning to offend anyone.
This was MY experience with mothering.
I'm just asking for kindness and emoSupport.*

{So sorry..... I'm feeling like I want to react to this.... and it's 'not you' Charlie *Heart*, but I will lead off with your words, which you meant with a different slant and context. ...
I need people to 'be there' for ME today... I usually don't ask that of people.... *tears*. ... }

Please don't whole quote

quote:

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His daughter (Cancer Asc, Moon, Venus) is so frail and scared of doing the wrong thing she can hardly go to bathroom alone and her parents enable this behavior by "babying" her. It makes me cringe and I actually fear for her future.

---

(I DO understand that this child needs to learn to be Confident at a young age... That is not in dispute here.)

I grew up with parents who made me 'feel' responsible for everything "hard" and "bad"... I HAD TO DO IT ALL. And, in isolation-atmospheres. (Saturn)

I grew up 'strong on the outside' and invisible with 'nothing' and no guts on the inside at all. (humor, not even crickets?... *wipes snot*)

I'm going to say that this DEMONSTRATED with all REALITY, that they actually didn't give a **** about me---, because IF they had, I would have been INVESTED in-- more than just a bed, a roof over head, and clothes that my mother continually would point out that 'SHE' PAID FOR. From the youngest ages, she assured me that NOTHING I had was 'mine' to possess. (Which IS a spiritual notion for me now?, that I don't mind, in a lot of ways.)

Everything given from her was temporary, and with the feeling that 'I "owed" her' and couldn't pay her back enough. Always her debtor.

I was the one who caused her misery upon the face of HER earth as long as I was 'in the 'house'... .

I did not have a (cancerian) caring and loving upbringing experience. She was a later Gemini with an early Leo Moon?.....

I, a bright Sagi-Rising expressive and sensitive child, was raised by a cold narcissistic uninterested authoritarian uncontrolled and explosive b.

My mothering >>>> ????

I was even given 'false' information on how to care for my own body's bathroom-needs... She was a mother who actually sought to do her OWN child harm deliberately, and enjoyed doing so. ... including foods too, deliberately.

I grew up frightened of my own body. (other things I wont mention, happened)
I grew up frightened of the whole world at large. ...
I grew up feeling as though I had to FAKE knowing everything that I did.....
Always unsure.... like going through the motions that I 'knew' what I was doing, when I barely felt I did. Consequences seems to confuse me, more than to correctly inform so I could 'comfortably' learn from them. Everything had a sting to it... like bee stings, it seems.

I felt/feel as though every success I'd ever had was purely 'accidental'... I HAD NO one 'interested' in me and in my welfare.

I grew up as a 'daughter' in a man's world house. Invisible. Only to be there to serve them then unregarded...... at least, it 'felt' that way. They had no idea what a girl was...... I was an alien! I looked to my mom?... and she ONLY preferred the boys.

LL Faith.... Your kids are sooo lucky. Your girl! You teach her about frilly and feminine things.... She was soooo lucky to land you as a mom.

The guys were taught tools of practical living. Their esteems were high as my dad had them in a good-buddies club, from which I was excluded.

My mother hated(neglected) me, and made no bones about hiding it either. She would tell me lies all the time... confusing my education about self/body especially. She didn't like touch at all (except for when I would brush her hair for her, or wash her feet which she loved). I don't remember her purposefully coming to put her arm around me at any time. And the only touches from my dad seemed to come from extreme and painful tickling, which would make me soooo angry with him that I'd cry and stomp off.

My transit today........
Seems to involve transiting SATURN ON my Pallas Athene Sagittarius H1, mostly? with these squaring Chiron Pisces in my H(3)aquarius, squaring (and opp) my Moon Virgo? ...

I am surprised by my reaction today.....
Writing this, and sharing this with you....
I feel pain....
(((Oh, ADD, and the SONICS here have been HORRIBLE! I'm JUST worn out!!! awwww *self-hugs*))

The New Moon Cappy was in my first house.... and tPluto has now made it into my second house (esteem, things I have and possess, ..... maybe even some Hidden Talents that are being unearthed now? Cap is earth, 2nd house Capricorn (Venus natural). And I have my Chiron Aqua in that H2.)

Maybe this Cappy Moon... Cared about me, to prick this right now..... Cappy Moon coming up on tPluto to conjunct now.....

Thank you all for allowing me the Space here to blubber and cry all over my post! omggg..... sheesh Mirage!!! get a towel! LOL.

I NEED to be spontaneous.... not to hold back so many things. Way too Repressed here???? gently haha, but.... Healing.

Thank you. Music for my tSaturn Sag... to Pallas.... square my Moon Virgo.

Let it go..... Letting that energy flow....
Not repressed. Working WITH it....

Stepping it UP, for my Feminine-energy's Balance and strengthening for my Masculine energies. Healing..... through the Dare of Expressing it.

(music) It's A Man's World (Christina Aguilera) [2:56] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcyjMPNpEm4

posted December 29, 2016 03:17 PM            

It's just beautiful when you feel free enough to say what you need to say. Thanks for being real. I'm so sorry it was SO extremely hard back then.

Wish every child had the right amount of support, because this world is crazy-difficult (and just plain crazy), so without help, hardly anyone really flourishes. Even with fame and fortune, the early wounds are difficult to cure. (I'm thinking of celebrities who struggle with depression.)

Yes, I know you're tough and okay. If you weren't, maybe you couldn't even say this. It's not always the strongest thing, to stay quiet. Every Cap knows all the weaknesses a stoic facade can cover, and to bring it back to the New Moon, one thing I'm working on these days is simply letting myself be emotional. Facing emotions can be harder and braver than ignoring them.

posted December 29, 2016 04:25 PM            

Mercury Rx, and I'm having email trouble.

mirage, bless you.

Well and that goes for everyone ~

posted December 29, 2016 05:39 PM            

Something new going on with your children? Or, an artistic project?

And I understand about Pluto to your Sun 6th, and the fears that get conjured there... Especially in light of recent near-related deaths with well-known stars/celebrities.

Don't give up Hoping. Hopes have Options! Always Options!

What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger?!
-- Nietzsche
asteroid 7014

Ceri... Venus in H1.
Could the Universe be granting you Seeds for your Garden... Attracting (Venus) and Building (Capr) a more-deeply spiritual kind of Love Relationship?
*harps, glissandos*
Open and surrender your Heart to the energy-fairies that want to grant you a wish?
Be Willing (inside you, without listing the details) for this to happen FOR you, naturally.
You're a really cool person, and, you DO Deserve a "real" partner who loves you completely and unconditionally. Someone special, who will LAVISH ALL his attention towards you, and wanting to make you Happy. Someone who wants you to BE his side-buddy wife-- in love and business, for ever, for REALLY Always Yours.

He walks out of the dreamcloud, and says to you:

Flesh of my Flesh, and Bone of my Bone-- YOU Belong to me...

posted December 29, 2016 05:52 PM            

heart chakra music

I hope you don't need a subscribe to Spotify to listen

posted December 29, 2016 06:35 PM            

Hi again mirage...

I was humming that song to myself as I was typing to you:

Kelly Clarkson - Stronger
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xn676-fLq7I

quote:

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What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger?!
-- Nietzsche
asteroid 7014

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Aw, on my Venus-Neptune midpoint (10 Sag). How do I interpret this? Love conquers all?? LOL

posted December 29, 2016 06:44 PM            

-- Nietzsche
asteroid 7014

Transiting at 9 Cap today, conjunct the sun (and moon earlier.)

posted December 29, 2016 08:02 PM            

I will make you a YouTube playlist mirage
Hi Faith and everyone

Faith, I'm so glad you taught me how to make hearts ha ha

posted December 29, 2016 08:14 PM            

NO!, I didn't realize 'where' and what ol'e Nietzsche was up to these days!
God is Dead?... I looked at MAH's site. He USED to have the text to that, and loads of poetry. (Looks like he removed many links?)

I wouldn't think an 'atheist' would be worried about it. Perhaps he was being more poetic and saying how society works better when people follow the basic honest rules of good citizenship. Without living by some kind of code of honor (inner and/or outer Good Order), then, the results wreak havoc everywhere. People of any belief or non-belief lose their ability to live in some sense of Peace.

Cool synchronicity, though. Thanks for looking that up!!

With your chart.... I left it at 7 ascending, from the first info I'd seen you post years ago. But I know too that you have rectified as high as 10? If it's 10, then, it's at your e.o. 5th? ... But at 7-asc, NM Capri is on cusp of your 6th. Supports start of a new Health regimen sometimes (heh! in time for NY Resolutions??? LOL), or some kind of Work-related (service related) opportunity that could prosper you in the long-term in some way...?

posted December 29, 2016 08:56 PM            

@teasel~
I will pray someone else adopts the dog.

@v2t
Hi

@mirage
I was told that I was born at 6:45 pm, and I'm positive I was born right after dinner. A gifted astrologer rectified my chart to have a 6 Leo ASC but I chose 7 Leo for different reasons. Either way, 23-26 Libra is a very active section of the zodiac in my family, so it makes sense to have my IC in that range.

I loved the Echosmith song.

You know "Bright," of course?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8l5nMCJKyYY

Best astrology song I've heard yet.

I gotta stop spamming this thread.

posted December 29, 2016 09:06 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by charlie:
Just to bounce back to what I wrote. Her mother uses her daughter as a nice "Louis Vuitton bag". It's nice to have a pretty daughter to show off but when it comes to life lessons about what is right and wrong? She ain't there. At all. She's never taught her daughter the difference between truths and lies. She's never taught her daughter to change dirty underwear. She's never helped her daughter to cut her dirty nails. Her daughter needed help peeing up until the age of 8 1/2!! The list is LONG with neglect and as much as it hurts my heart when I have to be "firm and hard", and turn a blindside to tears and false feelings of abandonment, I still have to because it's my responsibility as her "other mother" to show her the right side of life.

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posted December 29, 2016 09:22 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Faith:
[B]This thread is awesome, it's like Capricorn be damned, we're gonna use hearts!

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POW!!! Take that!!!!

So many Beautiful people here...., using their Hearts.

Faith... thanks for clarifying the issue of birthtime. I saw what the difference is...
You and V2T have the ~same degree ascendant, by the way?!

quote:

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You know "Bright," of course?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8l5nMCJKyYY
Best astrology song I've heard yet.

I gotta stop spamming this thread.
G'night everyone.

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posted December 30, 2016 03:42 AM            

For me growing up was not what children should grow up threw. The people that were there that were suppose to help me were so caught up in their own matters that they forgot that I was a child and needed a parent. I basically learned a lot on my own and not only that but took care of my younger brothers who till today refer to me more as a mother than a sister.

I was able to somehow mentally to bounce off healthy people as a therapist once said, I actually defied odds. Statistics say I should either be an alcoholic, drug addict or checked out of life all together. I am thankful to God that I am none of these.