posted December 16, 2018 10:20 AM            

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Originally posted by Hikaru29:
If I don't love a person anymore I actually won't miss that person at all. I may at times think of them and wonder how they're doing but I won't feel like seeing them nor miss them.

When I leave a r/s, I won't leave any traces of feelings behind. In that way I'm quite cold. I turn my feelings off quite suddenly which always leave people surprised.

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i can be cold and turn off completely, but if i really loved the person or had good times with them i can miss the better times

that ex in particular i actually miss being friends with her before things got more serious, and i wish we had stayed that way because i miss her as a friend (but i know we can't be friends) but i don't at all miss being with her)

one of my old fwbs i don't miss sex with him or anything like that, but he was alright to smoke weed and drink with and sometimes i can miss that

posted December 16, 2018 12:20 PM            

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Originally posted by Hikaru29:

You don't miss people? I cannot understand.. I always miss people - friends and bfs.

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posted December 16, 2018 12:26 PM            

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Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
Reading all that gave me a headache. He is playing footsie.

Just tell him you dream about a tall, dark chocolate, muscular hunk you met at the coffee shop once.

In your dreams, you see yourself caressing his thick pectorial muscles with your fingers and embracing his well-defined back. Before he plunges you into the throes of passion with his intense love-making

After that,just break off and say "oh but it doesn't mean anything.Coz I still like you".

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posted December 16, 2018 12:33 PM            

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Originally posted by Melinn:
I have read this archetype about Venus-Mars people, especially Venus square mars men.

Either they feel sexuall excitement and fullfillment and attraction to his partner, but no emotional satisfaction.

Or he feel emotional fullfillment, closeness, satisfaction or whatever one calls it, but no sexual attraction. This is the cliche "I love you but I don't feel attraction anymore" or the "It now feels like we are just siblings or friends. I care for you very much but feel no real attraction excitement etc anymore".

The venus square mars guys especially, will often not feel both this at the same time. This because the venus (cozy friendly feelings) and the Mars (attraction) is bc of the square unbalanced, like a table with unbalanced legs so the table will tip on one side or the other and be all wobbly.

If I make any sense, sorry if I'm not clear

I guess Moon-Mars square may have a similar effect. Moon (emotional closeness) vs Mars (sexual attraction).

To me it sounds like he is saying he feels emotionally close and safe and cozy, but not like he is high on love as we are in the beginning of a relationship. But I don't know you guys or his inner thoughts feelings etc so its just an idea

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posted December 16, 2018 12:42 PM            

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Originally posted by girlwiththerainysoul:
he may also have either neptune or mercury aspecting the ruler of the 7th or a planet in the 7th

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I have mercury in virgo ruling the 7th in the 9th square neptune which conjuncts my AC although the merc square neptune is wide (9 degrees) and I am straight forward, I say I miss you if I miss you, I say I love you if I love and is clear and not a big deal at all, I am very expressive, sweet and tender. I dont play games.

posted December 16, 2018 12:53 PM            

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Originally posted by Dumuzi:

@Hikaru29

i can relate to an extent, sometimes i miss my ex (who i wasnt physically attracted to) because i really enjoyed talking to her but i have no love for her left and i don't actually want her in my life

i just miss some of the nicer things about her but without all the feeling

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As weird as that may sound you can miss someone but not be sure you want to see them or not want to see them but love them, you can also miss someone and not love them bc you loved how they treated you and made you feel.

posted December 16, 2018 01:07 PM            

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Originally posted by hypatia238:
I have mercury in virgo ruling the 7th in the 9th square neptune which conjuncts my AC although the merc square neptune is wide (9 degrees) and I am straight forward, I say I miss you if I miss you, I say I love you if I love and is clear and not a big deal at all, I am very expressive, sweet and tender. I dont play games.

Hikaru29 what sign is his mercury in and what house does it falk in?

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Mercury in Virgo in 2nd house. It has a sextile to Mars/Jupiter/Uranus/Asc, square to Neptune is quite wide too (6°) and to Priapus.

posted December 16, 2018 01:15 PM            

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Originally posted by hypatia238:
As weird as that may sound you can miss someone but not be sure you want to see them or not want to see them but love them, you can also miss someone and not love them bc you loved how they treated you and made you feel.

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i mostly miss her when i'm at a loss when it comes to occult related things

i met her after autowriting i would and a ritual (i wrote about it years before but i hadnt expected anything to come from it, and even with everything i didnt take anything seriously) she did is what led me to studying everything ive studied since

but i never quite started until after she was out of my life already

so sometimes i'll have questions and wish i had paid better attention when she used to tell me **** or had asked the right questions etc

that's where the biggest hole with that is, i wrote off a lot of **** stupidly at the time and wish i had focused more on that than hooking up with her

posted December 16, 2018 01:18 PM            

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Originally posted by Hikaru29:
Mercury in Virgo in 2nd house. It has a sextile to Mars/Jupiter/Uranus/Asc, square to Neptune is quite wide too (6°) and to Priapus.

He also said that he hates people who play games.

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what does priapus count for anyway? i mean i know his "curse" as far as mythology goes but aside from that

curious because i thought to look it up for the first time after reading you mention it and i have it conjunct my mars by 1 degree

posted December 16, 2018 01:26 PM            

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Originally posted by hypatia238:
As weird as that may sound you can miss someone but not be sure you want to see them or not want to see them but love them, you can also miss someone and not love them bc you loved how they treated you and made you feel.

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Yes I know, sometimes you don't wanna see someone for a variety of reasons although you miss them. I've been through that.

As for missing someone for how they treated you, that's not really missing that person IMO... it's more about missing the feeling you got (perhaps they treated you like a princess, for e.g.). I had great sex with my ex and I do think about it from time to time but I wouldn't say I miss him.

posted December 16, 2018 01:29 PM            

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Originally posted by Dumuzi:
what does priapus count for anyway? i mean i know his "curse" as far as mythology goes but aside from that

curious because i thought to look it up for the first time after reading you mention it and i have it conjunct my mars by 1 degree

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posted December 16, 2018 01:31 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
Reading all that gave me a headache. He is playing footsie.

Just tell him you dream about a tall, dark chocolate, muscular hunk you met at the coffee shop once.

In your dreams, you see yourself caressing his thick pectorial muscles with your fingers and embracing his well-defined back. Before he plunges you into the throes of passion with his intense love-making

After that,just break off and say "oh but it doesn't mean anything.Coz I still like you".

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posted December 16, 2018 01:34 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Dumuzi:
i mostly miss her when i'm at a loss when it comes to occult related things

i met her after autowriting i would and a ritual (i wrote about it years before but i hadnt expected anything to come from it, and even with everything i didnt take anything seriously) she did is what led me to studying everything ive studied since

but i never quite started until after she was out of my life already

so sometimes i'll have questions and wish i had paid better attention when she used to tell me **** or had asked the right questions etc

that's where the biggest hole with that is, i wrote off a lot of **** stupidly at the time and wish i had focused more on that than hooking up with her

well that and that one weird loose end where the last thing she did was promise me she'd hunt me down one day and find me "when **** goes down"

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posted December 16, 2018 01:42 PM            

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Originally posted by Hikaru29:
Priapus is connected to female sexual fantasy and desires, in males it represents an area that is seeking creative fulfilment. Venus or Mars in aspect to a woman’s Priapus is thus likely to denote sexual attraction and fantasies, whereas Venus or Mars in aspect to a man’s priapus in synastry would represent creative fulfilment including sexual fulfilment, with the Venus or Mars in aspect the person would represent potential fulfilment of sexual and hedonistic desires that were currently being unfulfilled.

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posted December 16, 2018 01:46 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Hikaru29:
Priapus is connected to female sexual fantasy and desires, in males it represents an area that is seeking creative fulfilment. Venus or Mars in aspect to a woman’s Priapus is thus likely to denote sexual attraction and fantasies, whereas Venus or Mars in aspect to a man’s priapus in synastry would represent creative fulfilment including sexual fulfilment, with the Venus or Mars in aspect the person would represent potential fulfilment of sexual and hedonistic desires that were currently being unfulfilled.

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interesting

posted December 16, 2018 02:10 PM            

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Originally posted by kani:
I learned that if Pripaus is touched in a man's chart - if it is conjunct or opposite the woman's personal planets and/or Jupiter (which enhances everything) he will feel extreme lust for her.

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pretty sure my ex had her sun somewhere near my priapus since an ex fwbs had a similar birthdate and his sun was conjunct my mars/priapus

and nah can't say that, but they both did cheat on their partners

edit: with me i mean, well i mean sortof with the guy that was on/off mostly during their break ups im pretty sure

posted December 16, 2018 03:26 PM            

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Originally posted by Hikaru29:
You're not really missing her actually. You simply needed her help. LOL

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posted December 16, 2018 04:10 PM            

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Originally posted by Hikaru29:
Mercury in Virgo in 2nd house. It has a sextile to Mars/Jupiter/Uranus/Asc, square to Neptune is quite wide too (6°) and to Priapus.

He also said that he hates people who play games.

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posted December 17, 2018 01:22 AM            

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Originally posted by hypatia238:
I wonder if mercury in the 2nd is more tangible as in out of sight out of mind maybe...and Neptune squaring that might actually reinforce that bc neptune goes with the flow and in this case the flow is mercury in the 2nd which is very tangible...

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As in if he doesn't see you he forgets you? That doesn't sound like him though because he told me about an ex that he didn't get to see often, and he thought of her so much when they were dating. After he met me he gradually stopped thinking about her.

For my case, he didn't say he doesn't think of me. In fact, he always thinks of me...even dreams of me and he'll sometimes look at my pics... All these seem to suggest that he misses me, no? But he denied it. Funny he always says all these things to me w/o my prompting so I believe he wouldn't have said all these w/o meaning anything. So I'm confused.

Try not to rationalise this as how you would miss a friend/colleague/family member because he and I are not friends. He also said before he can never treat me as just a friend.

posted December 17, 2018 01:57 AM            

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Originally posted by Hikaru29:
Yes I know, sometimes you don't wanna see someone for a variety of reasons although you miss them. I've been through that.

As for missing someone for how they treated you, that's not really missing that person IMO... it's more about missing the feeling you got (perhaps they treated you like a princess, for e.g.). I had great sex with my ex and I do think about it from time to time but I wouldn't say I miss him.

Also, like I said, if I don't love a person anymore, I won't keep thinking of them. Once in a while maybe and for a short few secs but frequently, no. If I find myself frequently thinking of a person, that means I'm missing them.

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Yes I agree, missing someone for how they made you feel is not truly missing them, its missing how they made you feel which is different.

Idk why your guy is doing that but if I miss someone I just say it...if he has an avoidant attachment style he might send mixed messages or if he is unsure of his feelings he might be more careful around his wording to not put your hopes up to much or he could just be playing hard to get, not wanting you to know just how much he likes you yet..

posted December 17, 2018 03:38 AM            

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Originally posted by hypatia238:
Yes I agree, missing someone for how they made you feel is not truly missing them, its missing how they made you feel which is different.

Idk why your guy is doing that but if I miss someone I just say it...if he has an avoidant attachment style he might send mixed messages or if he is unsure of his feelings he might be more careful around his wording to not put your hopes up to much or he could just be playing hard to get, not wanting you to know just how much he likes you yet..

So Melinn is right we have to look at the whole chart to understand what is driving his behavior, not just his mercury.

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If you can see any indicators I'll be very appreciative. He could be unsure of his feelings, I don't know... but I know it's definitely not anything light because when I'm upset with him, he gets all moody and unsettled and he admits to that. But when his friend got upset with him, he says he doesn't care.

posted December 17, 2018 11:10 AM            

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Originally posted by Lalafortunaea:
The dude's got a load of cancer. "doesn't miss" my @zz. (if this is the same guy you mean, that is).

He probably just doesn't understand his own feelings, which is a common theme for some men in general. Plus Virgo likes to "rationalize."

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Hahaha lol Touche..

@Hikaru29
I am thinking he is scared to develop strong feelings so he doesn't want to say he misses you bc he wants to be cautious (Venus conjunct Saturn) so he reframes what he feels in a way that it can be kept contained (as moon in air in the 3rd probably uses reframing techniques to manage his mood/emotions well, cognitive behavioral therapy)... With moon conjunct pluto and moon square Jupiter he probably feels too much but since moon is in libra in the 3rd and venus conjuncts saturn is like he is attempting to slow it down bc he tends to catch feelings too quickly or he tends to rationalize like girlwithrainysoul mentioned to feel more in control of his emotions (air moon in the 3rd) so he can contain his feelings and protect himself. He has to bc with that cancer influence to top it off he tends to get attached strongly when he gets attached (mars conjunct Jupiter in cancer, jupiter square moon, moon conjunct pluto in libra).

Honestly he is boyfriend material so if you are not looking for something serious is probably better to leave him alone.

posted December 17, 2018 12:13 PM            

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Originally posted by hypatia238:
Hahaha lol Touche..

@Hikaru29
I am thinking he is scared to develop strong feelings so he doesn't want to say he misses you bc he wants to be cautious (Venus conjunct Saturn) so he reframes what he feels in a way that it can be kept contained (as moon in air in the 3rd probably uses reframing techniques to manage his mood/emotions well, cognitive behavioral therapy)... With moon conjunct pluto and moon square Jupiter he probably feels too much but since moon is in libra in the 3rd and venus conjuncts saturn is like he is attempting to slow it down bc he tends to catch feelings too quickly or he tends to rationalize like girlwithrainysoul mentioned to feel more in control of his emotions (air moon in the 3rd) so he can contain his feelings and protect himself. He has to bc with that cancer influence to top it off he tends to get attached strongly when he gets attached (mars conjunct Jupiter in cancer, jupiter square moon, moon conjunct pluto in libra).

Honestly he is boyfriend material so if you are not looking for something serious is probably better to leave him alone.

I would just say "you know you miss you, I am too adorable not to be missed so stop lying to yourself" and make a cute face and a half smile and start laughing lol..but only if you really like him and want something serious with him, if not leave him alone.

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You made it sound like I'll hurt him (haha) but actually I'm afraid that he'll hurt me instead because I do love him. Worse is someone saw our synastry and said he only sees me as a fling.

Like what Lala said, he rationalises a lot and that Cancerian vibe comes on really strong from him too - all passive aggressive but this crab refuses to come out of his shell even though I already bare my soul, which is really frustrating and makes me feel dejected.