posted July 18, 2019 05:05 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hypatia238:
I did tell him that if he is restraining his sexual nature or having difficulty expressing this creative side of him that he must have anger issues bc he has mars conjunct sun in the 3rd and mars square pluto. He was so surprised I was able to tell this about him on the first date. He did not believe in astrology before but he is definitely considering it now. I think his anxiety and over thinking gets in the way of flowing in that area and he hasn't integrated his shadow side yet I feel so he is not owning his primal side, seeing it as beneath him.

He also has a concern it will get in the way of reaching enlightenment, good discussion topic.

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posted July 19, 2019 10:07 PM            

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Originally posted by CountablyInfinite:
I went to university and was friends with an Aqua girl who has her Mars in Cap conjunct DC, Uranus and Neptune, opposite Chiron and AC. The Venus is also in Cap but not in any aspect to Mars.
This woman was COMPLETELY oblivious to ANY sort of flirting, people trying to get closer to her (which happened ALL the time!), etc. She is one of the most intelligent and confident people I know, is a doctor now, people simply love her and she looks like a freaking Victoria's Secret model on top. Still, she is 29 now and a virgin. I don't think that she is asexual per se, though I'm not sure, didn't get to know her good enough to be able to say this for a fact.. She did not actively looked for dates or went out, ever. She was/is very passionate about what we studied and I think this really is her main life purpose and she doesn't need much besides that.
There was one guy (Gemini) who studied the same course we did but was around two years ahead of us and about to finish at that time. He approached her via facebook. Back then she asked me what to do and I told her if she likes him then go on a date with him IRL. They did have "dates" then pretty shortly afterwards and apparently she told him bluntly and straight away she had zero experience in the love department. I would have never done that (I would have been to embarrassed)!! He was what in high school would have been the prom king resp. the guy every girl wanted to date and at university he was part of a clique who were pretty "powerful". What I'm trying to say is that afterwards everyone knew this sensitive info. Anyway, back to the story. The whole thing was kinda rocky from the start. She started "overthinking" the whole thing because he himself didn't know if he would stay where we studied or went back home which was a couple thousand miles away. She never initiated something and they only shared a kiss on like third, fourth or fifth date (not sure anymore) but that was that. She's not prude or anything (she dresses rather sexy) but she kinda just seems to not know what to do. They were in contact and then they weren't for a couple of weeks, then they were again. She was really very damn clumsy in all those scenarios.. In the end he told her about his ex gf he might get close to again (I think this was his last attempt to maybe make her jealous and get some "action" out of her) and that was the end of the story pretty much. To this date this is the only "experience" she ever got, even though as I said, people were trying to get into her pants ALL the time. Even our professors! Sometimes it was very annoying for outstanding people. Like you couldn't just get a normal coffee without the waiters swooning over her. Though as I said, she never "recognized" it even though it was very damn obvious. You had to tell her people just flirted with her and she would be like "What? Haha really? Ok.."

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posted July 20, 2019 02:21 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by CountablyInfinite:
I went to university and was friends with an Aqua girl who has her Mars in Cap conjunct DC, Uranus and Neptune, opposite Chiron and AC. The Venus is also in Cap but not in any aspect to Mars.
This woman was COMPLETELY oblivious to ANY sort of flirting, people trying to get closer to her (which happened ALL the time!), etc. She is one of the most intelligent and confident people I know, is a doctor now, people simply love her and she looks like a freaking Victoria's Secret model on top. Still, she is 29 now and a virgin. I don't think that she is asexual per se, though I'm not sure, didn't get to know her good enough to be able to say this for a fact.. She did not actively looked for dates or went out, ever. She was/is very passionate about what we studied and I think this really is her main life purpose and she doesn't need much besides that.
There was one guy (Gemini) who studied the same course we did but was around two years ahead of us and about to finish at that time. He approached her via facebook. Back then she asked me what to do and I told her if she likes him then go on a date with him IRL. They did have "dates" then pretty shortly afterwards and apparently she told him bluntly and straight away she had zero experience in the love department. I would have never done that (I would have been to embarrassed)!! He was what in high school would have been the prom king resp. the guy every girl wanted to date and at university he was part of a clique who were pretty "powerful". What I'm trying to say is that afterwards everyone knew this sensitive info. Anyway, back to the story. The whole thing was kinda rocky from the start. She started "overthinking" the whole thing because he himself didn't know if he would stay where we studied or went back home which was a couple thousand miles away. She never initiated something and they only shared a kiss on like third, fourth or fifth date (not sure anymore) but that was that. She's not prude or anything (she dresses rather sexy) but she kinda just seems to not know what to do. They were in contact and then they weren't for a couple of weeks, then they were again. She was really very damn clumsy in all those scenarios.. In the end he told her about his ex gf he might get close to again (I think this was his last attempt to maybe make her jealous and get some "action" out of her) and that was the end of the story pretty much. To this date this is the only "experience" she ever got, even though as I said, people were trying to get into her pants ALL the time. Even our professors! Sometimes it was very annoying for outstanding people. Like you couldn't just get a normal coffee without the waiters swooning over her. Though as I said, she never "recognised" it even though it was very damn obvious. You had to tell her people just flirted with her and she would be like "What? Haha really? Ok.."

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Wow. She is like me.

I could never tell when people were "flirting". My Mars conjunct Dsc too.

If she also had Mars/Neptune and Uranus reacting with each other, it could be a couple of more years before she figures out where she stands(sexuality-wise).

At the moment, I do understand her position though.Not wantinh anything "romantic" etc. I would choose the same.

Neptune clouds Mars and can obscure clarity on sex drive or what one likes. Uranus on Mars could also opt for something "other" than gratification through sex. Uranus/Neptune can suggest asexuality or a detachment towards physical body "attractions".

posted July 22, 2019 03:10 PM            

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Originally posted by Dons2angelss:
Wow, the guy I'm dating has Pluto in the 3H square Mars in cap 5H and he's also just as you described. Almost no sex drive which is actually ok with me. I've never had a high sex drive and teetered on defining as asexual myself. My Mars is retrograde in scorpio conjunct retrograde saturn/opposite venus and Pluto is retrograde conjunct my moon in scorpio all in the 6th. His Mars is in his 5H along with his sag sun conjunct Neptune, always in Lala land.

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I have Moon & Pluto in the 6th House too! Are you as obsessed with health, nutrition, fitness & bodybuilding as I am?! Haha

posted July 25, 2019 10:53 PM            

I have Mars in Leo 2nd H square Pluto (in 5th H)
and Saturn in 8th H (Aqua)

* I believe Uranus and Neptune because they are idealists and not practical they could help in the asexual part. They care more for other types of bonding.

posted July 26, 2019 01:32 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Plut0nian2:
Where do you find these asexual guys??
Why am I not the one to find them ?

I have Mars in Leo 2nd H square Pluto (in 5th H)
and Saturn in 8th H (Aqua)

* I believe Uranus and Neptune because they are idealists and not practical they could help in the asexual part. They care more for other types of bonding.

Neptune and Uranus conjunct my DSC

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Why? Are you asexual? ...

I think its my saturn in Scorpio square Eros that has me destined to not have a consistent sex life with long periods of little to no sex.

posted July 26, 2019 03:00 PM            

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Originally posted by Nadja:
Maybe abstinence, or some sort of involuntary and frustrating sexual inhibition? Asexuality doesn't quite fit that aspect for me. Asexuality generally has nothing to do with limitation or discipline. That's what makes it a normal facet of sexuality and not a disorder or a kind of abstinence.

I identify as asexual (and aromantic). I've never had, or wanted to have, any sort of sexual relationship. Never been sexually attracted to anyone either.

I have Mars in Cancer 9th house, tightly conjunct Midheaven and Mercury. Opposite Neptune in Capricorn 3rd house. Sextile Virgo Moon in 12th. Trine Scorpio Pluto in 2nd. Square Libra Ascendant. Square NN in Aries 7th house. Aries on the 7th house cusp and Jupiter in Aries 7th.

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How interesting, must be the Virgo influence; since they say Mars-Pluto people are sex addicts. What's the orb distance of your Mars-trine-Pluto aspect?

posted July 26, 2019 03:56 PM            

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Originally posted by Leo-Cancer98:
How interesting, must be the Virgo influence; since they say Mars-Pluto people are sex addicts. What's the orb distance of your Mars-trine-Pluto aspect?

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Lol, yeah, that's what they say! I also have an 8th house Venus, which has kind of a similar reputation.

posted July 27, 2019 01:09 AM            

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Originally posted by Leo-Cancer98:
How interesting, must be the Virgo influence; since they say Mars-Pluto people are sex addicts. What's the orb distance of your Mars-trine-Pluto aspect?

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No its definitely not the virgo influence, every mars in virgo guy I have met is a total horn ball and I am a virgo and freaking love sex.

Saturn/Cap or uranus/aquarius on mars or 5th/8th house rulers its the pattern I have noticed.

Like this guy I love he has Mars in capricorn trine saturn and mars square pluto. Uranus conjuncts his 8th house ruler.

posted July 27, 2019 01:39 AM            

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Originally posted by hypatia238:
No its definitely not the virgo influence, every mars in virgo guy I have met is a total horn ball and I am a virgo and freaking love sex.

Saturn/Cap or uranus/aquarius on mars or 5th/8th house rulers its the pattern I have noticed.

Like this guy I love he has Mars in capricorn trine saturn and mars square pluto. Uranus conjuncts his 8th house ruler.

Regardless I hope one day we have crazy awesome mind blowing sex, in the meantime I am happy to just be friends.

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i have a cap mars, aquarius is the cusp of my 5th house, my uranus is sextile my 8th house ruler (venus) and i still **** on the first date and don't even need to be dating someone to be down for sex and it doesn't even need to just one person at a time

virgo sun too

posted July 27, 2019 10:09 AM            

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Originally posted by Dulcinea:
A person I know who fits the bill also happens to have Mars in Capricorn, but it's in the 5th house, and part of a stellium with Neptune, Uranus and Mercury.

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mine is in my 3rd house with uranus and neptune, loosely conjunct cap neptune (uranus is in sag not cap for me) and biquintile mercury (leo) it also squares my libra venus/ascendant and aries moon/descendant

me and abstinence don't work at all i havent gone for very long without sex since i was a teenager, and even these past 3 weeks being single i still had sex

posted July 27, 2019 10:36 AM            

That does make sense--the moon, too. Those aren't asexual placements at all.

posted July 27, 2019 11:41 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Dumuzi:
i have a cap mars, aquarius is the cusp of my 5th house, my uranus is sextile my 8th house ruler (venus) and i still **** on the first date and don't even need to be dating someone to be down for sex and it doesn't even need to just one person at a time

virgo sun too

could have to do with saturn i suppose, but it's not the cap mars doing it

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posted July 27, 2019 11:43 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by diamondbaby:
I have a friend who is both asexual and aromantic.

She has Mars in Aries in the 4th house square her Sun/Mercury/Jupiter in Cancer in the 7th house.

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posted July 27, 2019 11:51 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Dumuzi:

maybe its the mars-venus that makes a difference

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posted July 27, 2019 02:11 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hypatia238:
Why? Are you asexual? ...

I think its my saturn in Scorpio square Eros that has me destined to not have a consistent sex life with long periods of little to no sex.

I can say though that I have had good sexual experiences even though they are limited and sporadic (Eros trine Chart Ruler Jupiter conjunct Uranus).

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Hey hypatia,

I didn't realise you were the OP

I think this will be helpful. I've mentioned a lot of times that I have 2 friends born a few days (2 and 5) earlier than me.

Friend A has:

Leo 18° Venus (3rd H)
Leo 18° Mars (3rd H)
Leo 13° Jupiter (3rd H)
Scorpio 18° Pluto* (6th H)

Friend B has:

Leo 21° Venus (6th H)
Leo 20° Mars* (6th H)
Leo 14° Jupiter* (6th H)
Scorpio 18° Pluto* (8th H)

I have:

Leo 23° Venus (2nd H)
Leo 22° Mars* (2nd H)
Leo 14° Jupiter (2nd H)
Scorpio 18 Pluto* (5th H)

They both have an average sexual life.
I don't have at all.
What's weird is that I was way too early when it comes to feeling horny. When I was 16yo I talked about it to them (and a few others) they would look at me like an alien because they didn't have sexual need at that age. Friend A felt it at 17yo.
Friend B at 22. At 15 I was more than ready for sex, I reached that max point but I didn't know why I felt like that and what it was called. I learned about sex at 16. At 21-22 (when T.Saturn squared my N. Saturn) my huge appetite decreased. gradually I lost my appetite and also my interest. I had may problems and my hormonal problems got worse.
But I never acted on it, even once that I felt my kitty would literally explode lol. I could hear it screaming "feed me you b*tch I'm sick of starving, I'm dying here and you just stand there full of apathy, completely ignoring me" lol.
That was the first time that I literally felt pain down there because of how horny I was. That time I realised that chances I'll never have sex in my life because it can't get more intense than that.

Also for me sex and love were never connected untill a couple of years ago.
So I don't know if I can ne considered asexual or not but I know that I ciuld be with an asexual person.
There is a chance that I need too much time to become physically familiar with someone but I can't know that unless I live with someone in the same house but that's impossible since people have sex first. There is another chance that an asexual could make me want to have sex because I'll know that whenever he'll hug me for example he won't be seeking sex. I'll get to gradually know him and I will probably go further and further but at my own pace which is slooow
who knows how much time that will take me.. So what I want is actually impossible.

Look at the houses, their importance is even greater than aspects. For casual sex the 5th H and then the 7th and 8th.

If someone has Pluto/Saturn in 5th H he/she will take 5th H matters seriously which indicates no or very little casual sex. For these people you need to see their 7th H and 8th H.
In my case I have Pluto in 5th H
Uranus and Neptune conjuncting DSC in Cap.
Which makes relationships platonic and difficult.
8th H is bonding sex and I have Saturn in Aqua there. So you get how these three houses are completely f*cked up and how everything I said makes sense?

posted July 27, 2019 09:53 PM            

"There is another chance that an asexual could make me want to have sex because I'll know that whenever he'll hug me for example he won't be seeking sex. I'll get to gradually know him and I will probably go further and further but at my own pace which is slooow, who knows how much time that will take me.. So what I want is actually impossible."

^^I don't think is impossible, its possible if you date someone like the guy I am into right now, he needs to go very slow but honestly I feel its more exciting like this anyway bc it helps the intimacy, love and desire build up like a volcano so by the time we do have sex it will be freaking amazing and if we don't then I get a very special friendship out of it. So don't lose hope, I feel with the right person you can eventually experience beautiful sex with someone who is patient and loves your company no matter what. I personally see sex as a way to express my love and desire for another and to deepen further the bond we have (venus conjunct mars in leo in the 8th, venus rules my 5th).

"Look at the houses, their importance is even greater than aspects. For casual sex the 5th H and then the 7th and 8th.

If someone has Pluto/Saturn in 5th H he/she will take 5th H matters seriously which indicates no or very little casual sex. For these people you need to see their 7th H and 8th H.
In my case I have Pluto in 5th H
Uranus and Neptune conjuncting DSC in Cap.
Which makes relationships platonic and difficult.
8th H is bonding sex and I have Saturn in Aqua there. So you get how these three houses are completely f*cked up and how everything I said makes sense?

My friends are completely different from me even though we have the same aspects."

posted July 28, 2019 11:43 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hypatia238:
^^ 16? I was feeling horny when I was 12 years old but specially by 14 years old I can say I was officially a horny teenager.

No, at 16 I learnee about sex so I could talk about it (before I didn't even know how to explain it properly).
I started experimenting at the age of 8-9 lol But I wasn't ready to have sex since that age of course. I got to that point at 14-15 even though I didn't know what was going on.

^^I don't think is impossible, its possible if you date someone like the guy I am into right now, he needs to go very slow but honestly I feel its more exciting like this anyway bc it helps the intimacy, love and desire build up like a volcano so by the time we do have sex it will be freaking amazing and if we don't then I get a very special friendship out of it. So don't lose hope, I feel with the right person you can eventually experience beautiful sex with someone who is patient and loves your company no matter what. I personally see sex as a way to express my love and desire for another and to deepen further the bond we have (venus conjunct mars in leo in the 8th, venus rules my 5th).

I see it like you do (except for the last part, I didn't see sex as a way of bonding).
I'm not in that mood anymore, I have lost interest although I still wish I had experienced at least once when I needed it.
Do you know this guy's birth time? I'm curious to see his chart.

I agree, I mention this in other posts here, I feel the aspects in combo with house rulerships or house placements involving the 5th and 8th play a big role in this and in your case saturn in aquarius in the 8th I feel is the indicator for you rebelling against sex in a sense and resisting getting too close (it takes a long time for you to get close like that) which is what you need to enjoy sex and want sex. Your intuition is to rebel against this process but with the right guy you can get to a place you can enjoy sex greatly is just hard to come across this type of guy.

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Yes, smth like that.
I feel like the 5th H in most cases can work by itself indepedently from the 7th and 8th house.
But the 8th H depends on the 7th H.
Since I have Uranus, Neptune and North Node conjuncting my DSC relationships are a platonic mess, Uranus and Neptune brings unstabillity and disappointments it's way harder, almost impossible, to reach the 8th H intimacy.

posted July 28, 2019 12:01 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Plut0nian2:

So I don't know if I can ne considered asexual or not but I know that I ciuld be with an asexual person.
There is a chance that I need too much time to become physically familiar with someone but I can't know that unless I live with someone in the same house but that's impossible since people have sex first. There is another chance that an asexual could make me want to have sex because I'll know that whenever he'll hug me for example he won't be seeking sex. I'll get to gradually know him and I will probably go further and further but at my own pace which is slooow
who knows how much time that will take me.. So what I want is actually impossible.

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The asexual spectrum is very broad. You can be asexual and still have a strong sex drive. All asexual really means is that you, at least periodically, lack sexual attraction to other people. There is also a big gray area between sexual and asexual. It's possible that you fall under some semi-sexual subgroup, like gray-A or demisexual.

Gray-A: "People who identify as gray-A can include, but are not limited to those who:
- do not normally experience sexual attraction, but do experience it sometimes
- experience sexual attraction, but a low sex drive
- experience sexual attraction and drive, but not strongly enough to want to act on them
- people who can enjoy and desire sex, but only under very limited and specific circumstances"

Demisexual: "someone who does not experience sexual attraction to another person unless or until they have formed an emotional connection with that person."

And then there are other types of attraction too of course, and these don't always align. I'm asexual and aromantic, but consider myself demi-homo-sensual. Sensual attraction is the drive to touch and be touched by other people, just ordinary touch, not necessarily sexual or romantic in nature. So to put it simply I don't really want to hug or be hugged by anyone I don't know very well, and I generally only want to touch and be touched by other women. Other types of attraction include emotional/platonic and aesthetic attraction.

Sexual attraction feels to me like a Mars/Pluto type thing (though I guess not always, lol), while Venus is more romantic/aesthetic/sensual in nature. Moon and Neptune might represent more platonic emotional connections, though Neptune definitely has some aesthetically inclined energy too.