posted July 28, 2019 12:51 PM            

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Originally posted by Plut0nian2:
Yes, smth like that.
I feel like the 5th H in most cases can work by itself indepedently from the 7th and 8th house.
But the 8th H depends on the 7th H.
Since I have Uranus, Neptune and North Node conjuncting my DSC relationships are a platonic mess, Uranus and Neptune brings unstabillity and disappointments it's way harder, almost impossible, to reach the 8th H intimacy.

Mars in Capricorn is earthy and very sexual. I'm sure the square to Pluto isn:t the reason he is like that.

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posted July 28, 2019 01:15 PM            

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Originally posted by Nadja:
The asexual spectrum is very broad. You can be asexual and still have a strong sex drive. All asexual really means is that you, at least periodically, lack sexual attraction to other people. There is also a big gray area between sexual and asexual. It's possible that you fall under some semi-sexual subgroup, like gray-A or demisexual.

Gray-A: "People who identify as gray-A can include, but are not limited to those who:
- do not normally experience sexual attraction, but do experience it sometimes
- experience sexual attraction, but a low sex drive
- experience sexual attraction and drive, but not strongly enough to want to act on them
- people who can enjoy and desire sex, but only under very limited and specific circumstances"

Demisexual: "someone who does not experience sexual attraction to another person unless or until they have formed an emotional connection with that person."

And then there are other types of attraction too of course, and these don't always align. I'm asexual and aromantic, but consider myself demi-homo-sensual. Sensual attraction is the drive to touch and be touched by other people, just ordinary touch, not necessarily sexual or romantic in nature. So to put it simply I don't really want to hug or be hugged by anyone I don't know very well, and I generally only want to touch and be touched by other women. Other types of attraction include emotional/platonic and aesthetic attraction.

Sexual attraction feels to me like a Mars/Pluto type thing (though I guess not always, lol), while Venus is more romantic/aesthetic/sensual in nature. Moon and Neptune might represent more platonic emotional connections, though Neptune definitely has some aesthetically inclined energy too.

My Mars and my Pluto have tight connections with both Moon and Neptune, plus that there are also Cancer, 12th house and 4th house energies involved. Maybe all that Moon/Neptune energy has an impact? My Venus is off doing it's own thing, making no major aspects to anything, and without even minor aspects to Mars or Pluto... though it is in the 8th house.

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posted July 28, 2019 01:40 PM            

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Originally posted by Nadja:
Maybe abstinence, or some sort of involuntary and frustrating sexual inhibition? Asexuality doesn't quite fit that aspect for me. Asexuality generally has nothing to do with limitation or discipline. That's what makes it a normal facet of sexuality and not a disorder or a kind of abstinence.

I identify as asexual (and aromantic). I've never had, or wanted to have, any sort of sexual relationship. Never been sexually attracted to anyone either.

I have Mars in Cancer 9th house, tightly conjunct Midheaven and Mercury. Opposite Neptune in Capricorn 3rd house. Sextile Virgo Moon in 12th. Trine Scorpio Pluto in 2nd. Square Libra Ascendant. Square NN in Aries 7th house. Aries on the 7th house cusp and Jupiter in Aries 7th.

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Looking at your chart I would say that Uranus ruling your 5th falling in the 3rd house and conjuncting Saturn makes you aromantic.

posted July 29, 2019 08:17 PM            

I don't know to which category I belong because I felt sexual attraction for men I didn't have feelings for.
K felt turned on by men I had feelings for but I never fantasized about sex and I never wanted to talk about it with them. I don't know how it's possible to be turned on by someone you've fallen for but you don't want to even think doing it with them. Probably I want both and I felt it for the first time but I can't be with that person so I don't know if I would do it with him but it's the first time that love was combined with sex for me.

When it comes to men, I don't like being touched too (except hugs) but I love touching them everywhere (both the ones I've fallen for and the ones I'm just sexually attracted). Generally when somebody kisses me on the cheek/hands/legs I feel an irritating sensation like I want to rub it off with my hand. I have thos since I was a baby. But I loved it when someone bite me on my cheek and thighs also spanking. I believe softer form of touching/kissing is what bothers me.

posted July 29, 2019 09:06 PM            

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Originally posted by hypatia238:
I have explained in other posts that he has Mars trine Saturn which affects how his mars square pluto plays out, lets not forget pluto is about extremes and does not have to manifest as sex addiction, when you factor in he has mars trine saturn it may come easier to him to restrict his desire nature instead of indulging in it. Like I also explained in another post his mars does not aspect his venus so there is a disconnect there around acting on his desire nature. Like I also explained in another post he has Venus conjunct Moon and Uranus which I feel makes it hard for him to let himself get attached and get too close, he has never had a girlfriend and is 42. When you consider all that, it paints a picture. I never said it was purely a pluto square mars thing but when you consider the whole picture and how Pluto is about extremes specially in the context of a square then its very valid to consider that depending on the rest of the chart that mars square pluto can result in difficulty surrendering to their desire nature and not always creates a sex fanatic. In his case it shows up as anger issues he would tell you.

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Hmm, the title of this post and your question about Mars, made me think that you believe this aspect was the main reason he is asexual. However since the aspect is so wide it doesn't even count imo. Saturn trine Mars yes it helps with controlling but by itself is not strong enough.
I'm sorry I don't remember aspects when mentioned like this (I may have not read the posts you'refering to) that's why I always ask for charts. It helps me see the whole picture and the things that others may not consider important to mention.Also I remember a chart when I'm seeing it as an image.
For me the Moon-Venus-Uranus conjunction is the reason behind his asexuality.
The reason for his anger issues Moon-Uranus which can not be expressed due to his eaethy Mars in Capricorn in trine with his Saturn.

I don't have anger issues, my friends don't have anger issues, .
Tbh I never considered Mars in hard aspect to Pluto or Mars in Scorpio to be sex addicts. I've known both my friends and a few others with Pluto/Mars hard aspects and quite a few men with Mars in Scorpio and they're far from being extreme when it comes to sex. They want it to be intimate though and they aren't into one night stands with the only exceptions being one who has Jupiter in 5th H.

To never have a relationship at that age..

Hmmm.. I've seen so many charts of people who didn't have a relationship but they are mostly younger ones a bit over 26-32

I don't think it's even a coincidence I've seen all those threads and I've met women like that. I mean it's probably because I have same placements.

So 85% it Cap DSC with Uranus (usually with Neptune) in the 7th H paired with Pluto in 5th H. It's suprising how completely different charts otherwise have the same problems.

The other few cases are Venus in Sag/Aqua/Aries paired with an air/Aries/Sag Moon.

I suspect Sag/Aries/Aqua DSC might give similar results if other planets support the DSC (for example hard Uranus-Moon/Venus aspect or Venus in Sag/Aqua/Aries). But this is based on logic I haven't seen it in any chart like the others one I mentioned above.

And I also believe that Pisces DSC because of how platonic Pisces are may lead to it. However whenever I've seen Neptune in 7th H it's always with Uranus somewhere close so I always blamed Uranus. I don't know people with Pisces DSC that well to know about their relarionships. So again just a theory and I also think it needs the rest of the chart to support it otherwise it's not strong by itself.

posted July 30, 2019 02:12 AM            

I think his anger issues are his SUN conjunct MARS in the 3rd, he will ruminate about stuff that makes him angry in his head.

Now I agree mars square pluto by close to 9 degrees shouldn't count but astro.com included it strangely, all I can think is that it allowed for a wider orb bc he has AC in Libra and Pluto in Libra both at 19 degrees so the pluto is amplified in power by that angle. But yes lets just say that he does not have mars square pluto, that makes more sense to me.

Now Mars not aspecting his VENUS and mars trine saturn definitely are factors that contribute to his issues with intimacy, I think this makes it hard for him to act on his desire nature since there is a disconnect between venus and mars and since mars in capricorn along with it trining saturn makes it easy for him to contain his impulses, this set of two things has made this area of his life challenging. Then add his fear of getting close bc uranus conjuncts his moon and venus! Its a lot that is working against him and his mars is in the 3rd house making him more prone to his mind over thinking his desire nature so he can talk himself out of acting on his desires.

posted July 30, 2019 05:07 AM            

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Originally posted by Plut0nian2:
Thanks Nadja

I don't know to which category I belong because I felt sexual attraction for men I didn't have feelings for.
K felt turned on by men I had feelings for but I never fantasized about sex and I never wanted to talk about it with them. I don't know how it's possible to be turned on by someone you've fallen for but you don't want to even think doing it with them.

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Ok, so you feel sexual attraction but lack the desire to actually have sex? That's perfectly valid imo. Lots of people in the asexual spectrum feel some sort of disconnect between their attraction and the actual sex act. Can't find a term for your particular case, but it might still be a part of the gray-A spectrum.

quote:

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Originally posted by Plut0nian2:
Could you post your chart? I'm curious to see it. I generally ask for charts because seeing them it's more convenient than just knowing a few aspects. The more I see the better. If you don't feel comfortable it's ok though.

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Sure, no problem.

posted July 30, 2019 11:20 AM            

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Originally posted by Nadja:
For most people in this world there is a strong connection between romantic attraction, sexual attraction and sex drive... But those three don't have to go together, or even be there, and I think it's important to remember that. Sexuality is a complex thing, and every experience is equally valid.

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I completely agree, for me sex is strongly connected to romantic love, I have venus conjunct mars in leo with VENUS ruling the 5th and Venus conjunct Mars falls in my 8th.

My friend is very romantic too though, Uranus rules his 5th and conjuncts his moon and his chart ruler VENUS in scorpio but yes he definitely falls in the Gray-A asexual Spectrum. There is a disconnect between feeling sexually attracted and been able to act on that attraction.

I think my friend is perfect the way he is though, we are all different and that is what makes us interesting.

I dedicate this song to him by Pink:

posted August 04, 2019 02:17 AM            

"I have Venus and Mars in a septile aspect. The Venus/Mars pair of planet signifies EFFICIENCY, according to Marc Edmund Jones, in other words, how we get anything done. Venus and Mars is the urge to take action toward completing something. Mars is always how we begin anything, and Venus is how we end it. And it is true that I often get the urge to do something, RIGHT NOW, and I may not have any reason why. But I’ve found that if I go ahead and get it done it feels very good. By the same token if I fail to follow through on one of these urges, it can create inner psychic turmoil, cause discord and disharmony. The septile is asking us to allow ourselves to sympathetically vibrate with incoming cosmic energy, and if we just let go of our questionings and inhibitions and go for it, we get led to someplace we need to go. The septile is an energy we need to submit to, and to be taken over by."

posted August 09, 2019 09:44 AM            

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Originally posted by hypatia238:
I think his anger issues are his SUN conjunct MARS in the 3rd, he will ruminate about stuff that makes him angry in his head.

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This makes sense theoritically but I haven't experienced this aspect in a clean state (it always involves other hard aspects).
But why do you think that his Moon-Uranus aspect doesn't have to do with anger?

Now I agree mars square pluto by close to 9 degrees shouldn't count but astro.com included it strangely

astro.com always includes 9 orb aspects unless you have changed it (there is an option for it)
I've checked a few charts including mine and it shows the 9 orbs aspects.

quote:

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]Now Mars not aspecting his VENUS and mars trine saturn definitely are factors that contribute to his issues with intimacy, I think this makes it hard for him to act on his desire nature since there is a disconnect between venus and mars and since mars in capricorn along with it trining saturn makes it easy for him to contain his impulses, this set of two things has made this area of his life challenging.

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Then add his fear of getting close bc uranus conjuncts his moon and venus! Its a lot that is working against him and his mars is in the 3rd house making him more prone to his mind over thinking his desire nature so he can talk himself out of acting on his desires.

He has DC in Aries with Mars conjunct Sun in the 3rd house so he probably attracts fleeting relationships that are brief and start quickly and end quickly but this clashes with Venus in scorpio ruling his chart but not when you account that Venus conjuncts his Uranus so he probably has a love life that gets disrupted a lot like Aries23 points out happens with venus aspect uranus folks making it hard for things to naturally evolve into something lasting. I could see how between these two things his chart is not supporting lasting relationships.

I agree with the whole second part (the ones in bold) It's not that I disagree with the first part but that Saturn trine Mars aspect isn't even. a hard aspect, I've seen the conjunction, square and trine in earth Mars signs and and one of them has Uranus square Venus. None of them are like that. Actually Mars in Cap is quite physical.

Moon/Venus/Mars in incompatible signs make it a bit more difficult to find everything you need in one person because in synastry when someone's planet is compatible with one it will automatically be incompatible with your other natal planet. But still it's not enough by itself to completely stop someone from having sex/relationships.

His Uranus asoecting bith his moon and Venus and his Aries in 7th H make for difficult relationships indeed. My problem is the sex part, since his DSC is in Aries his 5th H must be ruled by Uranus or Saturn which would make more sense to me for the sex part.

posted August 09, 2019 10:57 AM            

Thanks for posting your chart.

• I see that your 5th H is ruled by Uranus

• Your 7th H is in Aries, ruled by Mars which is in a weak sign opposed by Neptune both conjuncting angular houses.

• Your North Node is in your 7th H.

I have somewhat similar placements, cardinal sign DSC (Cap) with Neptune and North Node in it. Uranus, Neptune and North Node conjunct my DSC.

Sometimes I'm wondering if angular houses in cardinal signs (other than the ones they naturally rule) are generally "problematic" because every house is in "enemy" sign. I don't know.. everyone I know (they are quite a lot especially with Cap DSCs) they all have "problematic" placements like Uranus/Neptune in there.

Weak sign wise Mars in hard aspect to Neptune/Uranus usually indicate asexuality/bisexuality/homosexuality. I would say it's a classic aspect and so is Uranus occupying in anyway the 5th H although I don't feel it's enough just by itself.

I would like to ask you if you have been in relationships and if you ever had sex since you said that you're ok being touched by other women.
I would like to know how your strong Venus in Taurus in your 8th H is expressed. Although I believe that you need to go through the 7th H first in order to experience the 8th H after.

I realised that your Jupiter is in your 7th H.

These two (7th H Jup and 8th H Venus) are lucky placements indicating that you would benefit from partnerships and intimate relationships in many ways actually.
Are you lucky getting help (materials/money/gifts/other kinds of help) from others?

quote:

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Originally posted by Nadja:
Ok, so you feel sexual attraction but lack the desire to actually have sex? That's perfectly valid imo. Lots of people in the asexual spectrum feel some sort of disconnect between their attraction and the actual sex act. Can't find a term for your particular case, but it might still be a part of the gray-A spectrum.

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Yes, that's how I feel. I think that it has to do with the synastries too (my Saturn square their Mars) the last one I've fallen for has his Mars conjunct my DSC, Neptune, Uranus and North Node (and all the other placements I love) so except of spiritually, romanrically and mentally I'm actually sexually attracted to him to the point that I fantasize having sex and I love it. I feel that I could actually do it with him but I can't be with him so I'll never know.

You have hard transits too. T.Uranus has been for years in your 7th H and now is going to be in your 8th H. Let alone T.Pluto and T.Saturn squaring your 7th and opposing your Cancer placements.

posted August 09, 2019 06:16 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Plut0nian2:

Nadja

Thanks for posting your chart.

• I see that your 5th H is ruled by Uranus

• Your 7th H is in Aries, ruled by Mars which is in a weak sign opposed by Neptune both conjuncting angular houses.

• Your North Node is in your 7th H.

I have somewhat similar placements, cardinal sign DSC (Cap) with Neptune and North Node in it. Uranus, Neptune and North Node conjunct my DSC.

Sometimes I'm wondering if angular houses in cardinal signs (other than the ones they naturally rule) are generally "problematic" because every house is in "enemy" sign. I don't know.. everyone I know (they are quite a lot especially with Cap DSCs) they all have "problematic" placements like Uranus/Neptune in there.

Weak sign wise Mars in hard aspect to Neptune/Uranus usually indicate asexuality/bisexuality/homosexuality. I would say it's a classic aspect and so is Uranus occupying in anyway the 5th H although I don't feel it's enough just by itself.

I would like to ask you if you have been in relationships and if you ever had sex since you said that you're ok being touched by other women.
I would like to know how your strong Venus in Taurus in your 8th H is expressed. Although I believe that you need to go through the 7th H first in order to experience the 8th H after.

I realised that your Jupiter is in your 7th H.

These two (7th H Jup and 8th H Venus) are lucky placements indicating that you would benefit from partnerships and intimate relationships in many ways actually.
Are you lucky getting help (materials/money/gifts/other kinds of help) from others?

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Interesting! Thank you! I can see how Mars opposite Neptune or Uranus could result in a sexual expression that is outside the norm, especially when Mars isn't strong.

Re angular hoses in cardinal signs I have at least noticed (in myself and others) that in the case of Libra rising there is often a bit of friction between 'self' and 'other'. There are conflicting needs (individual vs. social) that are sometimes hard to harmonise.

I have never been in a sexual or romantic relationship. And never had sex outside of such a relationship either. Since I don't feel any sexual or romantic attraction it's just not something I've ever desired. I'm a very sensual sort of being though, and certain types of touch triggers ASMR for me, so I would probably enjoy the sex act itself if I ever felt like experimenting (would have to be with a very close friend who I felt comfortable being intimate with though).

I can experienced arousal and have 'sexual' fantasies, but they never involved other people. I get aroused by imagining myself in specific situations but other people do nothing for me. These imagined situations aren't even sexual in nature really, you could say I have a bit of a kink! This has been the case as far back as I remember. I've always had this little kink of mine and never any interest in involving other people.

I think a lot of my sensuality and darker artistic sensibility come from my 8th house Venus. I have also been generally lucky when it comes to what I receive from other people. The most extreme example is the inheritance I got from an older relative when I was just 2 years old. I inherited everything he owned, and while he wasn't exactly rich that money is making my life easier to this day, 30 years later... My familial relationships are also ectremely strong. I share a house with my father so we are pretty much symbiotic... and my mother is my best friend who I'm almost always in communication with. If we aren't talking on the phone then we are chatting on facebook or sharing pictures of our everyday life.

quote:

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Originally posted by Plut0nian2:
Yes, that's how I feel. I think that it has to do with the synastries too (my Saturn square their Mars) the last one I've fallen for has his Mars conjunct my DSC, Neptune, Uranus and North Node (and all the other placements I love) so except of spiritually, romanrically and mentally I'm actually sexually attracted to him to the point that I fantasize having sex and I love it. I feel that I could actually do it with him but I can't be with him so I'll never know.

You have hard transits too. T.Uranus has been for years in your 7th H and now is going to be in your 8th H. Let alone T.Pluto and T.Saturn squaring your 7th and opposing your Cancer placements.

I would like to know after a few years if you'll feel the same and if things changed for you.

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That's interesting with the synastries and transits. I've never noticed synastries or transits affecting my sexual nature at all, but then I don't tend to look very much at either. Sometimes I'll look at my transits and notice a very exact harsh transit, yet my life att the time is tumbleweeds galore... so idk. In some ways I have all the sensitivity of a brick wall.

What I have noticed though, since Uranus entered my 8th house and Taurus (using placidus my 8th house cusp is at late degrees Aries) is that I've become more of an advocate for both the asexual community and for the larger LGBTQ+ community. I've become more involved both locally and online, and am showing my asexuality more openly. Open rebellion against normative society is very much a Uranus kind of thing, sexuality an 8th house thing, and standing your ground very much a Taurus thing, so I'm kind of blaming it on Uranus changing sign and house.

Most of the time that Uranus transited through my 6th and 7th houses I studied abroad and lived in happy symbiosis with a bunch of people in a hippie commune, consisting of leftist feminist climate activist vegans. Lots of our friends were political activists, had very differing lifestyles, were on the LGBTQ+ spectrum, or were otherwise societal outcasts of some sort. Lifestyle to me is a 6th house theme, and close relationships of course a 7th house one, while Pisces is idealistic and Aries activistic. And back when Uranus was transiting my 5th house I was in my teens and there was lots of discovering myself and rebellious self expression. The dawn of my interest in astrology among others.