posted July 19, 2019 05:10 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Dumuzi:
well yeah it's not necessarily anything lmao i'm the one who told you that earlier

i imagine if i wasn't his type he wouldn't be telling me i'm perfect though (which is always sort of funny to me, when people do that, tends to just mean they like looking at me)and talking about wanting things to head somewhere serious already

says **** like he can't believe i'm a real person and that i like him (which i also find funny, but whatever, i can have a really strong effect on people but usually it's more just appearance based not so much once i start talking about my life and self) like he's gotten lucky somehow lol

i've been upfront with him about my past with hard drugs and the illegal **** i used to do that i've walked away from the **** childhood etc and normally when people haven't been part of that life they're not particularly accepting of it, but he hasn't been like that at all

he's the type who never did any of that and wouldn't, so it's very unusual, and i'm assuming that's partially due to his venus-neptune square (he's pretty heavy with neptune **** though he has pisces mercury conjunct sun sextile neptune, taurus venus and saturn squaring neptune, his taurus moon might square it as well and his scorpio mars squares his neptune too)

the health issues aren't a thing to him either

he loves that i play guitar and sing, that was something he was really into in spite of the fact that he does neither and has been curious about all the heavy occult **** too

he seems to fit a lot of what people here have mentioned

as for the age thing with saturn it's interesting because while he's aware of my age it doesn't seem to entirely register to him, but i'm assuming that's just a matter of me looking younger than i am since that's how it generally goes with people

my age tends to be easily forgotten

he has this strong caretaker vibe though, so all the ****** up must be appealing i guess lmao

edit: btw the synastry probably helps, his venus/saturn is trine my sun and opposite my pluto (his mars is loosely conjunct my pluto, we have mars sextile mars exact) which probably adds to the pull

his moon is likely opposite my pluto too, and it's possibly trine my sun and possibly trine my mars (one or the other, couple of degrees where it could be both)

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I have to admit I'm darn curious what you look like lol. I'm not saying you need to post a pic of yourself but I guess it would be nice lol.

posted July 19, 2019 05:24 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Dumuzi:
when the houses are really ****** up as far as division goes i've noticed people have a hard time relating to them, when you make the switch to whole sign that stops the issue

with vedic it's not just sign it's nakshatra so each sign is divided and the descriptions of the signs are slightly altered also usually there's something in a chart that makes up for the sign change and can be used to explain the difference

an aspect that remains could have the information the sign would've for example, and houses can make a huge difference too

ultimately though you should be able to get roughly the same person from any chart that's tied to them regardless of system

just like when you use multiple forms of divination for the same question you're going to get the same answers

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I still dunno how I feel about it though. Cuz aspects and houses stay the same for most of my planets. It's just the energy of the actual planets in the signs that are just off.

posted July 19, 2019 06:14 PM            

I have Venus opposite Neptune in my birth chart (less than 1.5° orb) and it is culminating by progression (exact in about 4-5 years). When younger I had a tendency to be attracted to people who were not available or who were not as interested in me as I was in them. I changed that pattern.

Now that I'm married I'm not interested in other women for a relationship no matter how attractive or interesting they may be. What/who is beautiful around me is part of the poetry and artfulness of life. I wouldn't try to take home and keep every tree or flower or person I feel some kind of love for.

The influence of any aspect functions as a matter of degree (the tighter, the more pronounced) and they are a default basis upon which we make decisions and develop our values.

I won't say that Uranus being opposite your Venus cancels the aspect to Neptune (because that one may not be there at all), but even if both are considered Uranus and Neptune opposite Venus presents a differing dynamic from Neptune alone. Uranus is more activating even if involving a detachment dynamic.

Also, the overall context of the chart needs to be considered (final signature, signs involved, etc).

------------------
"Drift like a cloud and flow like water, seeing that all life is a magnificent illusion, a playing of energy, and there is absolutely nothing fundamentally to be afraid of." -- Alan Watts

posted July 19, 2019 07:28 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Kannon McAfee:
Brenda_S, depending on whether you meant a 9° orb (and if your Venus and Neptune are in contra-parallel aspect) I would probably not consider those two planets to be in opposition. Also, this aspect can't be reduced to just interest in unavailable persons. It represents *basic values or self-worth rendered uncertain by idealism or idealizing another*, but also the ability to be mesmerized by forms or sounds of beauty.

I have Venus opposite Neptune in my birth chart (less than 1.5° orb) and it is culminating by progression (exact in about 4-5 years). When younger I had a tendency to be attracted to people who were not available or who were not as interested in me as I was in them. I changed that pattern.

Now that I'm married I'm not interested in other women for a relationship no matter how attractive or interesting they may be. What/who is beautiful around me is part of the poetry and artfulness of life. I wouldn't try to take home and keep every tree or flower or person I feel some kind of love for.

The influence of any aspect functions as a matter of degree (the tighter, the more pronounced) and they are a default basis upon which we make decisions and develop our values.

I won't say that Uranus being opposite your Venus cancels the aspect to Neptune (because that one may not be there at all), but even if both are considered Uranus and Neptune opposite Venus presents a differing dynamic from Neptune alone. Uranus is more activating even if involving a detachment dynamic.

Also, the overall context of the chart needs to be considered (final signature, signs involved, etc).

---

Thank you Kannon.

Would you think Neptune being parallel my Desc would change things? Cuz I know a parallel aspect only is not strong enough.

My Desc is at 23°13' and Neptune at 21°36'. Would that be too far to be considered a parallel aspect?

posted July 19, 2019 09:30 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Brenda_S:
I have to admit I'm darn curious what you look like lol. I'm not saying you need to post a pic of yourself but I guess it would be nice lol.

Mars/Mars and Mars/Pluto are insane for sex. So you'll be good I'm not worried lol.

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lol is it because of my chart? i've gotten asked to post pics right after people have seen my chart elsewhere

i prefer to not post pictures of myself in places where i talk with a username and whatnot

i've had people do weird **** when i have and just nah (i've had someone online show me a folder of pics they'd been saving of me for a couple of years, i've had people pretend to be me, all kinds of weird messages etc) also on an astrology forum there's the chance of someone into the occult getting a pic of me and **** that lol

i've never been told i look like anyone, so i can't even say something like that to you tbh

posted July 20, 2019 02:14 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by ScandinavianCrab:
I guess so, atleast at the core.
My ascendant is in Libra and my Gemini and Cancer planets all fall in my 9th which i relate alot to.

Im not skilled enough to fully intrepret your chart but i guess that we might have a bit different world views.

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posted July 20, 2019 10:17 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Dumuzi:
lol is it because of my chart? i've gotten asked to post pics right after people have seen my chart elsewhere

i prefer to not post pictures of myself in places where i talk with a username and whatnot

i've had people do weird **** when i have and just nah (i've had someone online show me a folder of pics they'd been saving of me for a couple of years, i've had people pretend to be me, all kinds of weird messages etc) also on an astrology forum there's the chance of someone into the occult getting a pic of me and **** that lol

i've never been told i look like anyone, so i can't even say something like that to you tbh

idk i find it funny the way people get, i mean when i'm on psychedelics and i look in the mirror and feel detached i'm like "i'd **** you, you're great" but day to day i don't even really think about it

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Lmao no it's more so you bragging about your looks lol you've got me curious over time ya know? And I feel that I have a basic grasp of your personality in order for me to feel like I'd wanna put a face to it.

But fu5k collecting pics of you over time? D@mn they must have some Pluto stuff going on. I always feel like Plutonians would do that.

posted July 20, 2019 10:37 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Brenda_S:
Lmao no it's more so you bragging about your looks lol you've got me curious over time ya know? And I feel that I have a basic grasp of your personality in order for me to feel like I'd wanna put a face to it.

But fu5k collecting pics of you over time? D@mn they must have some Pluto stuff going on. I always feel like Plutonians would do that.

But yeah I get it you're scared lol no p.

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lol you read charts and you've seen mine you should know better than to think i'm scared of pretty much anything

they probably were plutonian, i draw in a lot of plutonian people and i end up making a lot of pluto connections with people

friends, family, relationships etc there's always pluto involved

that wasn't bragging though, that's just me talking about life, and physical appearance can affect that

you know how it is, you have a first house venus

posted July 20, 2019 10:45 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Dumuzi:
whole sign works great typically, especially in situations where placidus fails (which it often does)

all systems work to a point anyway, you should be able to get the same person from a vedic chart that you do from a western one, and if you can't you ****** up pretty much

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I disagree.

posted July 21, 2019 12:42 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Dumuzi:
lol you read charts and you've seen mine you should know better than to think i'm scared of pretty much anything

they probably were plutonian, i draw in a lot of plutonian people and i end up making a lot of pluto connections with people

friends, family, relationships etc there's always pluto involved

that wasn't bragging though, that's just me talking about life, and physical appearance can affect that

you know how it is, you have a first house venus

---

Hahaha I don't observe charts much I rather pick up on people's energies and judge based off of that. I mostly observe charts when I feel something and kinda wanna make sense of it and see what causes what I'm picking up on so to speak. And not to sound cheesy or manipulative but I kinda knew you'd react to that 'scared' statement most. Lol. Which is partly why I said it. Ya know hoping you'd change your mind or something. Well I'm seeing now how manipulative that was lol sorry. (and honestly I really didn't think you'd change your mind ultimately anyway)

posted July 21, 2019 08:24 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by anonymidarkness:
I disagree.

My vedic chart is miles away from my western like I basically turn into a hot balloon of helium(nah hydrogen!!! Hydrogen is ******* betterrrr!!!!??) from a pacific ocean.

---

charts are more than just personality descriptions, and people are generally attached to whichever perspective they prefer when it comes to that

generally speaking people identify with their moon nakshatra in that regard though even if they disagree with the chart

that being said my vedic chart has my drug use in it, my health issues, my bad childhood, the ups and downs in my romantic relationships etc and so on

if it was completely inaccurate it wouldn't be that way, because that's all still me

posted July 21, 2019 08:36 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Brenda_S:
Hahaha I don't observe charts much I rather pick up on people's energies and judge based off of that. I mostly observe charts when I feel something and kinda wanna make sense of it and see what causes what I'm picking up on so to speak. And not to sound cheesy or manipulative but I kinda knew you'd react to that 'scared' statement most. Lol. Which is partly why I said it. Ya know hoping you'd change your mind or something. Well I'm seeing now how manipulative that was lol sorry. (and honestly I really didn't think you'd change your mind ultimately anyway)

And true I wasn't complaining about your bragging lol for some reason it kinda suits you well 😆 and is not as annoying or in your face lol. Probably cuz it doesn't feel that you're as attached to that thought lol.

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it's cool, it's near impossible to change my mind and that doesn't work on me lol i have no need to prove **** to people on that level tbh

i probably would've reacted to it anyway, but you actually hit on a conversation i had with my ex when i saw her just a little while before i saw what you said

she told me she imagined i was scared, with everything going on when i told her she didn't know how i felt, and it was funny because that's one emotion i haven't felt

had to tell her there's nothing to be scared of because any situation you're in just needs to be dealt with and if it doesn't work out that's just life sometimes we just do this **** 'til we die and it is what it is

she said it because she's scared though, and well... she's doing a lot of dumb **** so it's not surprising she feels that way, she's just making a lot of mistakes right now and reality is starting to set in for her

so yeah, had that conversation then read what you said and i was high and drunk last night so you got me lol

i just know what i've got going for me, i'm equally aware of my limitations though

posted July 23, 2019 12:19 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Dumuzi:
it's cool, it's near impossible to change my mind and that doesn't work on me lol i have no need to prove **** to people on that level tbh

i probably would've reacted to it anyway, but you actually hit on a conversation i had with my ex when i saw her just a little while before i saw what you said

she told me she imagined i was scared, with everything going on when i told her she didn't know how i felt, and it was funny because that's one emotion i haven't felt

had to tell her there's nothing to be scared of because any situation you're in just needs to be dealt with and if it doesn't work out that's just life sometimes we just do this **** 'til we die and it is what it is

she said it because she's scared though, and well... she's doing a lot of dumb **** so it's not surprising she feels that way, she's just making a lot of mistakes right now and reality is starting to set in for her

so yeah, had that conversation then read what you said and i was high and drunk last night so you got me lol

i just know what i've got going for me, i'm equally aware of my limitations though

edit: btw can't lie, i'm a little curious about what you must be picturing

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Lol but still was hoping to satisfy my curiosity I mean dude how long can you let a gal wait to put a face to a person. It's gonna happen one day lol I'm just letting you know 😅😂 I'll have to wiggle my way through. (Fuc6 I dunno why I feel like I'm acting so Plutonian now I hate it)

Lol I hear ya with your ex. I don't know the story so just trying to put pieces together and not fully getting it but ok lol I hear ya.

Lol well ok you've given away some details on previous posts so I have a basic grasp of your physique. You mentioned you're not tall, not muscular either (although I for some reason did imagine thicker bones) and have long hair.

The only added feature I can think of for some reason is dreadlocks and don't ask me why lol.

posted July 23, 2019 10:30 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Brenda_S:
Lol but still was hoping to satisfy my curiosity I mean dude how long can you let a gal wait to put a face to a person. It's gonna happen one day lol I'm just letting you know 😅😂 I'll have to wiggle my way through. (Fuc6 I dunno why I feel like I'm acting so Plutonian now I hate it)

Lol I hear ya with your ex. I don't know the story so just trying to put pieces together and not fully getting it but ok lol I hear ya.

Lol well ok you've given away some details on previous posts so I have a basic grasp of your physique. You mentioned you're not tall, not muscular either (although I for some reason did imagine thicker bones) and have long hair.

The only added feature I can think of for some reason is dreadlocks and don't ask me why lol.

I'm kinda thinking Jack Sparrow. But not really. I feel like your height and width are well balanced. Like not lanky is what I'm saying. Jack Sparrow is more on the lanky side.

---

i used to know a vedic astrologer who's apparently still obsessed with seeing my pictures and its been years

heard he still goes on about me through other people because i stopped speaking to him after he got weird with me (pretty sure he's closet gay)

i bring out the pluto in people lol actually do i make any contacts to yours? i always seem to when i can get along with someone, not sure if it's that i have a first house pluto and a sun-pluto sextile that draws that in

stuff with my ex is really a complicated mess i havent fully gotten into and likely wont

i have no idea how it's going to turn out, but i have a feeling the mess she's making for herself will be a me problem at some point (not now though so i'm going out and doing my own **** without the headache)

i already know im going to end up pulling her out of it when she's done because i always do, no one else will, and she's got mental issues i can't reasonably hold against her

when i saw her over the weekend and we were talking i got so ******* drunk because the **** coming out of her mouth made me feel like i had to get **** faced for her

told her when im right this time she's going to need to be quiet, trust me, and stop doing dumb **** so i can make life work

wouldnt really say my bones were thick, prominent though in places ribs stick out and **** i can count them

even when i work out and put on muscle i just look thin until i take my shirt off, just dont get bulky

thats the 1st house ketu on ascendant right there apparently

my hair is long still yeah, bit past my shoulders no dreadlocks though that **** 's crazy with upkeep, way too lazy for that

i have tattoos, my nose is pierced (nostril, had other piercings when i was a lot younger and took those out), my ear lobes are stretched (did that over 10 years ago, not going to surgically change that so ive left it, dont care about it either way not a regret)

ethnicity wise my family mostly goes back to spain and italy if that helps

be creative, think of this like getting to make your own police sketch, i'm doing you a favor being a muse and ****

thankfully im pretty sure an actual police sketch of me doesnt exist, lucky with that one all things considered lol i actually haven't been arrested or anything so far (i've chilled out don't get me wrong, but i'm also not dead yet and can't predict the future)

posted July 24, 2019 03:31 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Brenda_S:
Mars/Mars and Mars/Pluto are insane for sex. So you'll be good I'm not worried lol.

---

so you were right about the sex being good, but i've honestly lost interest

he's too touchy, just constant, even outside which can be fun but it was just excessive and nonstop

i could barely move without him being on top of me

i made a couple jokes about it but i didnt want to hurt his feelings, hes too sensitive

seems to have feelings which is also too much for me too quickly

asks too many questions about how he compares to other people ive been with

and he looked over at my phone when i needed to use it for a second to respond to someone and nah dont like that, lack of privacy is an instant deal breaker for me

we had sex first then spent some time together and he wouldn't stop talking about it like it was a big deal or meant something

idk maybe it's that his mars is in scorpio and then also the venus-pluto mars-pluto in our synastry but eh it's not my thing and im trying to figure out how to say it after i leave here in the morning

i dont feel like doing it in person

posted July 29, 2019 07:16 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Dumuzi:
i used to know a vedic astrologer who's apparently still obsessed with seeing my pictures and its been years

heard he still goes on about me through other people because i stopped speaking to him after he got weird with me (pretty sure he's closet gay)

i bring out the pluto in people lol actually do i make any contacts to yours? i always seem to when i can get along with someone, not sure if it's that i have a first house pluto and a sun-pluto sextile that draws that in

stuff with my ex is really a complicated mess i havent fully gotten into and likely wont

i have no idea how it's going to turn out, but i have a feeling the mess she's making for herself will be a me problem at some point (not now though so i'm going out and doing my own **** without the headache)

i already know im going to end up pulling her out of it when she's done because i always do, no one else will, and she's got mental issues i can't reasonably hold against her

when i saw her over the weekend and we were talking i got so ******* drunk because the **** coming out of her mouth made me feel like i had to get **** faced for her

told her when im right this time she's going to need to be quiet, trust me, and stop doing dumb **** so i can make life work

wouldnt really say my bones were thick, prominent though in places ribs stick out and **** i can count them

even when i work out and put on muscle i just look thin until i take my shirt off, just dont get bulky

thats the 1st house ketu on ascendant right there apparently

my hair is long still yeah, bit past my shoulders no dreadlocks though that **** 's crazy with upkeep, way too lazy for that

i have tattoos, my nose is pierced (nostril, had other piercings when i was a lot younger and took those out), my ear lobes are stretched (did that over 10 years ago, not going to surgically change that so ive left it, dont care about it either way not a regret)

ethnicity wise my family mostly goes back to spain and italy if that helps

be creative, think of this like getting to make your own police sketch, i'm doing you a favor being a muse and ****

thankfully im pretty sure an actual police sketch of me doesnt exist, lucky with that one all things considered lol i actually haven't been arrested or anything so far (i've chilled out don't get me wrong, but i'm also not dead yet and can't predict the future)

i've honestly said so much **** about my life and my past that it'd be crazy to put my face to it when i think about it

---

Sorry for responding so late. I become very lazy responding after typing so much lol. But I've seen your response then still just thought I'll take a mild break.

And hahaaa I was saying that I'm acting Plutonian as far as my approach in trying to get that pic of yours lol. Like the power thingy (referring to what I said "It's gonna happen one day lol I'm just letting you know").

Life has changed so much for me I don't think I can fall for a person hard anymore lol. Dunno I might be wrong. But if I am obsessed with someone I act super explosive, sensitive... Pretty typical Cancer traits ya know. So if I ever act that way with you then you know. 😅😂

But I definitely don't go collecting pics of people it just feels really weird doing it. (like even this Pisces guy when I was trying to figure out his ascendant, dunno if you remember but I posted pics of him on here... I felt super weird about it and deleted it from my phone right thereafter) I'm guessing someone with Venus/Pluto would rather be likely to do it. Venus in my case only opposes Uranus, Neptune and inconjuncts Saturn. So yeah based on these it makes sense I guess.

But my Pluto is at 18 Scorpio. Any of your planets aspecting it? And where's your Pluto at?

Interesting about your ethnicity. Not that I tried guessing it before, but for some reason Spain and Italy actually makes sense given your style of communication. Dunno why I agree with it lol it could've probably been anything and I'd think 'oh yeah' but for some reason these kinda click with me lol.

Haha honestly is it the face that's the issue cuz of the **** you've said? Cuz I don't think that'd really make a difference. Nobody would know where or how to find you after the fact. It'll just make the situations look pretty lmao. You should totally go for it 😆

posted July 29, 2019 07:38 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Dumuzi:
so you were right about the sex being good, but i've honestly lost interest

he's too touchy, just constant, even outside which can be fun but it was just excessive and nonstop

i could barely move without him being on top of me

i made a couple jokes about it but i didnt want to hurt his feelings, hes too sensitive

seems to have feelings which is also too much for me too quickly

asks too many questions about how he compares to other people ive been with

and he looked over at my phone when i needed to use it for a second to respond to someone and nah dont like that, lack of privacy is an instant deal breaker for me

we had sex first then spent some time together and he wouldn't stop talking about it like it was a big deal or meant something

idk maybe it's that his mars is in scorpio and then also the venus-pluto mars-pluto in our synastry but eh it's not my thing and im trying to figure out how to say it after i leave here in the morning

i dont feel like doing it in person

its too bad it wasnt just sex that couldve been good

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Yeah the comparison thingy I usually don't get. I'm trying to remember if I ever did that lol hope I didn't. That's silly and insecure'ish.

I think the Saturn/Venus (if I remember well he has this) is pretty prominent for him here. Where Saturn is has the person feel like they have to put most effort in to compensate for what's lacking. So the checking over your phone... Saturn makes Venus feel insignificant or lacking in expression. So kinda has to make sure that he's still worth something. Hence comparing himself too.

Haha wait so this post happened right after having sex 😆 nice. Yeah I get it sometimes it sucks that it doesn't go deeper given that the sex is worth sumtin. But oh well.

So how did you end it end with him ultimately?

posted July 30, 2019 08:12 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Brenda_S:
Sorry for responding so late. I become very lazy responding after typing so much lol. But I've seen your response then still just thought I'll take a mild break.

And hahaaa I was saying that I'm acting Plutonian as far as my approach in trying to get that pic of yours lol. Like the power thingy (referring to what I said "It's gonna happen one day lol I'm just letting you know").

Life has changed so much for me I don't think I can fall for a person hard anymore lol. Dunno I might be wrong. But if I am obsessed with someone I act super explosive, sensitive... Pretty typical Cancer traits ya know. So if I ever act that way with you then you know. 😅😂

But I definitely don't go collecting pics of people it just feels really weird doing it. (like even this Pisces guy when I was trying to figure out his ascendant, dunno if you remember but I posted pics of him on here... I felt super weird about it and deleted it from my phone right thereafter) I'm guessing someone with Venus/Pluto would rather be likely to do it. Venus in my case only opposes Uranus, Neptune and inconjuncts Saturn. So yeah based on these it makes sense I guess.

But my Pluto is at 18 Scorpio. Any of your planets aspecting it? And where's your Pluto at?

Interesting about your ethnicity. Not that I tried guessing it before, but for some reason Spain and Italy actually makes sense given your style of communication. Dunno why I agree with it lol it could've probably been anything and I'd think 'oh yeah' but for some reason these kinda click with me lol.

Haha honestly is it the face that's the issue cuz of the **** you've said? Cuz I don't think that'd really make a difference. Nobody would know where or how to find you after the fact. It'll just make the situations look pretty lmao. You should totally go for it 😆

C'mon, post 'em. You'll only get complimented lol (probably) and you can totally delete it thereafter. I'm on board 🤣 I don't see why you shouldn't be.

---

i don't really feel like i need compliments though, i'm good lol

i always figured it was being from nyc that really affected the way i communicate, unintentionally coming off like an ******* goes right along with that (particularly to people from the midwest ive noticed)

my mars is at 12 degrees cap which is pretty loose and my jupiter is trine it but that doesnt seem like it should count, also trine my midheaven but that's about it

my pluto is 4 degrees scorpio, in my first house but i think yours might fall in my 2nd

my mercury squares your pluto actually come to think of it, that one's a pretty tight orb i have mercury at 17 degrees leo

is it just bad experiences that make you feel that way or what? how does venus opposite uranus play out for you? i have the sextile and i tend to be more comfortable with casual over heavy **** but it's not particularly disruptive

when i like someone i can be relatively detached until i let myself turn feelings on, i can block things out until feeling them makee sense and they're numb til then and not fully realized

posted July 30, 2019 08:41 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Brenda_S:
Yeah the comparison thingy I usually don't get. I'm trying to remember if I ever did that lol hope I didn't. That's silly and insecure'ish.

I think the Saturn/Venus (if I remember well he has this) is pretty prominent for him here. Where Saturn is has the person feel like they have to put most effort in to compensate for what's lacking. So the checking over your phone... Saturn makes Venus feel insignificant or lacking in expression. So kinda has to make sure that he's still worth something. Hence comparing himself too.

Haha wait so this post happened right after having sex 😆 nice. Yeah I get it sometimes it sucks that it doesn't go deeper given that the sex is worth sumtin. But oh well.

So how did you end it end with him ultimately?

And sorry about your gf, read on another post that you guys broke up. You're doing ok?

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he has venus/saturn exact so definitely insecure, he got so weird after the first time we had sex though just with everything right before that it wasnt bad

it happened after one of those times yeah, he fell asleep i couldnt and leaving wouldve been annoying that late, though i wish i had because things went to a pretty ****** dark place in the morning

when i said that i meant it was a shame that he had such intense deep feelings because of the way they made him act when the sex itself couldve been fine otherwise (at least at the point i wrote that)

he was telling me he missed me ******* immediately after i left, he went to work late just all this **** and i broke things off when he told me he wanted to come over and see me

he knew he ****** up though kept apologizing and telling me i deserve better than him but he wanted to make it up to me etc but it's not really possible to make that kind of thing up to someone and he knew as much even as he said all that

it's cool, i feel pretty lucky to be out of that relationship and i'm in a good place about it

being her friend still has made it easier on a lot of levels, i feel bad for her because her mental state these last few years has been bad and she's in a really ****** up place with it now

but she won't ever get help if we're together because she won't be able to reflect or hit where she needs to and it's all making her a terrible person anyway

she's become a lot like her mother and it's toxic for her and anyone around her (even the people who dont currently realize it because ive listened to her talk about them and herself)

i hope for her sake there's actually a way for her to get to a better place, but she needs to dig herself a hole before there's even a chance of her getting help

it's sad but honestly i don't love the person she is right now aside from just having shared a lot of my life with her, on a certain level i'm repulsed by her and it's sad but it makes it easy on me

the stress of dealing with her was making my health worse too and that's been a relief because chronic issues are bad on their own without that so i feel physically better too

i worry about her because she's told me things about her going through severe depression on/off these past few weeks and said it got scary (which for her means suicidal thoughts) but if i say anything about doing something about it she'll tell me she's fine now and it was nothing

i still care, but this has been overall positive for me and because shes creating all of the negative **** in her life i dont have to feel any guilt like i abandoned her even though she's mentally ill and going through ****

because thats why i stayed, obligation pity and promises knowing her on her own is a trainwreck

good thing all around though, but i'll feel better if she gets help

posted July 30, 2019 06:40 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Brenda_S:
Thank you Kannon.

Would you think Neptune being parallel my Desc would change things? Cuz I know a parallel aspect only is not strong enough.

My Desc is at 23°13' and Neptune at 21°36'. Would that be too far to be considered a parallel aspect?

Reason I'm asking is cuz the Venus/Neptune opposition description I really do identify with in general.

---

Yes, 1.6° is too wide for a parallel with Neptune. However, most Asc figures aren't accurate enough as-as. It is possible for the Asc figure to be off a bit and actually within rage of contra-parallel with Neptune.

posted July 30, 2019 10:39 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Dumuzi:
i don't really feel like i need compliments though, i'm good lol

i always figured it was being from nyc that really affected the way i communicate, unintentionally coming off like an ******* goes right along with that (particularly to people from the midwest ive noticed)

my mars is at 12 degrees cap which is pretty loose and my jupiter is trine it but that doesnt seem like it should count, also trine my midheaven but that's about it

my pluto is 4 degrees scorpio, in my first house but i think yours might fall in my 2nd

my mercury squares your pluto actually come to think of it, that one's a pretty tight orb i have mercury at 17 degrees leo

is it just bad experiences that make you feel that way or what? how does venus opposite uranus play out for you? i have the sextile and i tend to be more comfortable with casual over heavy **** but it's not particularly disruptive

when i like someone i can be relatively detached until i let myself turn feelings on, i can block things out until feeling them makee sense and they're numb til then and not fully realized

it's cool though, there's no rush

---

Lol k your loss 🤷‍♀️

Dunno I'm from NY too so maybe I don't notice the difference that much.

My Venus is at 7 Cancer, so I guess that should trine your Pluto. Wait who generally is more affected by such lol 🤔

Dunno, yeah probably bad experiences. Just like playing a game thinking this time you'll make it, only to step one bit further into the game after every loss. At one point you realize that winning it will take more of you than you originally thought it would. Like yeah initial stages are fun and all. It always becomes complicated after. And I started realizing lately that I'm always the one complicating stuff loll. After a while it just feels like pushing a wall. And I'm not pushy that's not the issue. It's just I'm damn complicated lol. This is where I feel the Venus/Uranus most. And with my Venus being in Cancer it doesn't really help. When I start feeling that I have an affinity towards a person I become so damn sensitive, like every little act of his messes with my brain. And of course me trying to contain myself so to not create drama just plays out wrong in all ways I start either acting disinterested cuz I feel hurt and don't feel like being further pushed into it. And when it finally hits the boiling point I just literally explode out of nowhere lol. Like they totally didn't see anything coming and since I feel so weirded out by it I'm like 'look don't think I can have this in my life' and I just cut them off. Like of course it's much lengthier lol and at that point I'm pretty open with them as to what bothered me. But at that point it's over from my point of view and it comes from a very distant and matter of fact place. Like even if they fight it, I had it so many times this. Like I dunno what's wrong with me lol. This was the precise way I cut my ex out of my life, quit my job, cut my childhood friend out of my life (well she's back in it now lol), moved outta my parents house (also back here now lol) and I keep on cutting guys off this same way. I know I'm totally at fault but I feel helpless lol. Like if I don't feel irked enough I don't feel like sharing what's bothering me. And once it reaches the end of it then it's already the end and there's no going back. So yeah it's really difficult.

posted July 30, 2019 11:04 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Dumuzi:
he has venus/saturn exact so definitely insecure, he got so weird after the first time we had sex though just with everything right before that it wasnt bad

it happened after one of those times yeah, he fell asleep i couldnt and leaving wouldve been annoying that late, though i wish i had because things went to a pretty ****** dark place in the morning

when i said that i meant it was a shame that he had such intense deep feelings because of the way they made him act when the sex itself couldve been fine otherwise (at least at the point i wrote that)

he was telling me he missed me ******* immediately after i left, he went to work late just all this **** and i broke things off when he told me he wanted to come over and see me

he knew he ****** up though kept apologizing and telling me i deserve better than him but he wanted to make it up to me etc but it's not really possible to make that kind of thing up to someone and he knew as much even as he said all that

it's cool, i feel pretty lucky to be out of that relationship and i'm in a good place about it

being her friend still has made it easier on a lot of levels, i feel bad for her because her mental state these last few years has been bad and she's in a really ****** up place with it now

but she won't ever get help if we're together because she won't be able to reflect or hit where she needs to and it's all making her a terrible person anyway

she's become a lot like her mother and it's toxic for her and anyone around her (even the people who dont currently realize it because ive listened to her talk about them and herself)

i hope for her sake there's actually a way for her to get to a better place, but she needs to dig herself a hole before there's even a chance of her getting help

it's sad but honestly i don't love the person she is right now aside from just having shared a lot of my life with her, on a certain level i'm repulsed by her and it's sad but it makes it easy on me

the stress of dealing with her was making my health worse too and that's been a relief because chronic issues are bad on their own without that so i feel physically better too

i worry about her because she's told me things about her going through severe depression on/off these past few weeks and said it got scary (which for her means suicidal thoughts) but if i say anything about doing something about it she'll tell me she's fine now and it was nothing

i still care, but this has been overall positive for me and because shes creating all of the negative **** in her life i dont have to feel any guilt like i abandoned her even though she's mentally ill and going through ****

because thats why i stayed, obligation pity and promises knowing her on her own is a trainwreck

good thing all around though, but i'll feel better if she gets help

---

Oh wait I guess you were referring to her initially in one of these posts in this thread. For some reason I thought you were referring to some other person you had in your life when you said your ex.

I'm sorry. It must suck after knowing someone for most of your life be in this position. But I guess it's good you have a bit of a break for your own sanity and health as you said. But yeah I'm sorry it's tough to see someone you care about go through depression and suicidal thoughts. (But I'm sure you know that someone in such position of depression ain't gonna help themselves, they're just bruising and not caring about it)

posted July 31, 2019 08:22 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Brenda_S:

My feelings are generally subdued until something happens between me and them. And then my life stops lol. Whenever I don't have anyone in my life I'm like 'this is so great'. Music blasts in my car life feels so light and fun. Then this happens, nothin is in focus for me I can't have a normal life lol. I really hope it can't be either one or the other. I have to learn to balance it somehow. Anyway lol thanks for listening 😆

---

i'll live with the loss somehow i'm sure

that could be it, also could be why the italian **** doesn't surprise you either i know north east italians can come off a pretty particular way lol

one of the parts that counts or just ny? i'm from brooklyn, but i haven't lived there in a couple years, i was moving back and forth between there and the middle of nowhere for a while and after heroin left for good

can't really quit when you're going outside and being handed free drugs because people haven't seen you in a while and ****

seems to depend on the people tbh, that date i went on the guy made a bunch of contacts to my pluto and he definitely felt them more

yeah the initial stages are fun usually and then life sets in, that's why i see casual sex and flings as different from an actual relationship though i'm different from you in the sense where i'm fine with both

the day to day **** isn't all fun and gets complicated, but it has its own value and it's a lot deeper than just fun which makes it more special in a lot of ways

are you the sabotage type then? i get it to a point in the sense that getting close to people can make me feel like running away sometimes, mostly because having feelings means someone else has some level of power over you because of it and that's something i can struggle with

at the same time i can push that **** down often because it's not particularly productive either

that definitely sounds extremely venus opposite uranus damn, with the sextile i can feel like running away but then i can tell myself "well that's stupid and will pass if you let it" and keep going because i know that's not fair to the other person and because i know it's more a me issue

i also don't have a bunch of water though so i probably don't get as over my head as you do

that sounds kind of sad and ultimately destructive though, though i guess that's more just an "i wouldn't find that fulfilling" kind of projection, though it doesn't quite seem like you do either

balance is always good though, and no problem any time

posted July 31, 2019 08:44 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Brenda_S:

But hey if you every need someone to talk to I'm right here.

---

yeah probably, i don't remember what i said

the only other person i dated with any degree of being serious was the witch i've mentioned (the one who i ended up digging into the occult because of **** that happened between her and i) and with her the last time we spoke she was talking about suicide, getting really erratic and taking a lot of uppers while drinking (i'm aware of the pattern)

i told her i didn't think i could do it anymore, i missed, no **** , about 20 calls from her (all in a row) a couple days later haven't heard from her since

everyone else was just friends with benefits except that guy i cut things off with after the first date and that relationship while significant was only about a year and a good chunk of it was behind her fiance's back (it was a trainwreck situation)

but yeah with my ex fiancee it does suck, i've seen her in this place before a million times over though in all honesty and i've seen her actually attempt and get close to attempting

she has a long history with this kind of thing, the first time i encountered that side of her personally we were 15

i know she won't help herself, but i hope she gets to a place where she sees that she needs help and gets it

the break has been helpful for me more because of the erratic roller coaster **** with her, the extreme highs and lows and the constant change in what she wants with no consistency always sabotaging something based on passing emotions it's made life hard for me and her, but she's never wanted to really acknowledge it or get help

she just brushes it off and lets it destroy things instead, including herself, and there's no reasoning with her at all so it sucks, but that's one of those situations where my hands are tied because trying in the past has just made me the enemy to her which is why this current situation is what it is

she's got a lot more destructive **** going on than just the depression, she's doing a lot of really dumb **** and not herself right now at all, and it happens sometimes and in this state there's no telling her anything because she'll insist everything is good while simultaneously doing really stupid damaging poorly thought out **** because of fleeting feelings and chasing highs

this was just one of her summer breakdowns that snowballed into a huge thing, it's usually summer and winter that are the worse and she kind of levels off more in spring and fall

it's all destructive though, both for anyone in her vicinity and her ultimately

it's my own fault always going for heavy scorpio heavy pluto people typically or just a lot of water in general, and also because being used to dysfunction makes me overlook it in other people until it's affecting me

but yeah i appreciate the offer, i'm just at a place where i've long accepted the possibility that she might eventually manage it or get herself into a really bad situation that i can't get her out of and while i'm not exactly at peace with it life goes on

i just hope that maybe this time around without me there she's in a place where she's forced to acknowledge it more she has a lot of issues with scapegoating me in particular, but anything she ***** up at this point has nothing to do with me and i tried to warn her and get her to see reality

she didn't want to and can't right now so at least i have the physical distance to help with the emotional distance required for this situation

posted July 31, 2019 12:25 PM            

The last time I had a crush on someone was when I was 17yo. Never had a crush on anyone since. People crush on me instead (lol). Anyway, crushes on people & celebrities are common, isn't it, regardless whether you have Venus-Neptune?