posted October 18, 2020 08:01 AM            

We have two types of empathy - affective empathy and cognitive empathy.

I believe that - at times in their lives - sometimes for long stretches of time - sometimes even for a lifetime.. people can be out of balance in terms of their affective-cognitive capacity.

When you are inclined to the cognitive side.. you are more likely to interpret everything from the outside-in... rather than the inside-out.. So you might pick up on many different behavioural/body-language type cues in other people.. their facial expression, the way they walk, the way they look at you.. their gestures etc... all sorts of things.

Your brain might be working in over-drive picking up on all these things.. as a fear-based/anxiety response... as though you are "safer" the more information you pick up on...

The other side of this coin is affective empathy.. which is described in other terms as "emotional contagion".. This is actually feeling what someone else feels in an affective way.. or *sharing* their feelings.. But in order to feel this, your brain would have to relax a little (which is difficult when you are in a state of anxiety).

To give you some examples to distinguish the two...

For instance... if a person in the room had a heart attack.. someone who is very high in cognitive empathy (and low on affective empathy) would react by instantly calling an ambulance.

Someone who was very high on affective empathy would react by complete shock and maybe even feeling pain in their own body, just from being around the individual who is having a heart attack.

Someone who is more "balanced" would experience that feeling of shock and still call the ambulance.. but probably a few minutes later than the first person (with high cognitive empathy - who simply wouldn't feel very directly affected by what just happened).

On the other hand... in a different kind of situation.. if, let's say a person who is a reputable actor.. happens to be having a horrible day (they are feeling extremely depressed) - and this person puts on an amazing act of feeling totally "ok" - so in terms of body language cues and facial expression and so on... it is difficult to tell how they are *truly* feeling --- an individual who is high on cognitive empathy would fall for the act ... whereas an individual who was high on affective empathy would feel like something was terribly wrong (totally regardless of how good the act was).

In your situation.. when you are in these different contexts and you are interpreting these people as staring at you, judging you.. seeing you in a negative light... you are probably not accurately *feeling* the actual feelings those people are experiencing...

For example - a person could have a bad case of hayfever.. and be quite teary-eyed and maybe have a gloomy or annoyed facial expression when they look your way..

Being too high on cognitive empathy - you can instantly take this as "they are giving me daggers"...

But in reality - on a deeper level - that person could be in an emotional place where they are thinking about their date on Sunday or something entirely different... their nephew's B-Ball game at school or who knows what else? Whatever emotional place that person is actually in - more than likely has nothing at all to do with you (99% of the time).

There are many meditation exercises, breathing exercises and other relaxation techniques you could use to get to a point where you are calmer and less inclined to pick up on all of this information around you...

But I would say most of all.. and maybe this will sound like unusual advice... but if you don't have a pet - I would highly recommend getting either a dog or a cat... because relating to animals is very different to relating to people... And for someone who is generally very high on cognitive empathy - or going through an anxious phase in their lives - when they are higher than usual on cognitive empathy --- being around animals will help them turn their brain off, and instinctively relate in a more emotional/affective way.

And then as time goes on - you will be able to feel people in a similar way to the way in which you can "feel" an animal... So you won't just look at them from the outside in.. and thinking about how they may be staring at you and their facial expression.... but rather.. getting that *affective* vibe of how that person actually feels, on a deeper level.

This is because around animals.. your brain wouldn't be in over-drive doing this thing where you pick up on everything around you... since you wouldn't imagine that the dog or the cat was "judging" you... so you would be in a very calm frame of mind... and it would help you relate in that more affective way.

posted October 18, 2020 09:53 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by polly168:
low self esteem

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My Self Esteem is very low too.
But my case is little different.
When I see most people(not all), their faces or their acts I feel offended. I feel very angry, I feel very ****** off. Feel like I like to beat the $hitt out each and every inches of them. But Luckily I have very very strong Saturn and I\m very controlled man. That's why I failed to do anything for my mental peace. I have Exalted Saturn in 5th. Also Mars Conjunct Pluto in 5th. And that Pluto Square Sun.

posted October 18, 2020 11:46 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Somna7H:
My Self Esteem is very low too.
But my case is little different.
When I see most people(not all), their faces or their acts I feel offended. I feel very angry, I feel very ****** off. Feel like I like to beat the $hitt out each and every inches of them. But Luckily I have very very strong Saturn and I\m very controlled man. That's why I failed to do anything for my mental peace. I have Exalted Saturn in 5th. Also Mars Conjunct Pluto in 5th. And that Pluto Square Sun.

My Life is so frustration that you can't imagine. I want to kill these filthy people but I can't ever touch then. What a Miserable life.

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jesus man 🤣🤣🤣 that's some intense **** ...

@polly168

i'm going to assume it's some pluto or neptune type **** , maybe hard aspects to ascendant or mercury or moon

i don't tend to notice **** personally because i'm off in my own head not really caring but my ex would sometimes feel that way and she had pluto square ascendant and strong scorpio and ive noticed that kind of **** can either come with people actually reacting towards a person's energy in polarized ways or obsessive paranoid thinking/behavior

posted October 18, 2020 12:11 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Odette:
since you wouldn't imagine that the dog or the cat was "judging" you... so you would be in a very calm frame of mind... and it would help you relate in that more affective way.

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posted October 19, 2020 02:37 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Dumuzi:
cats probably judge you

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posted October 19, 2020 03:06 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Somna7H:
My Self Esteem is very low too.
But my case is little different.
When I see most people(not all), their faces or their acts I feel offended. I feel very angry, I feel very ****** off. Feel like I like to beat the $hitt out each and every inches of them. But Luckily I have very very strong Saturn and I\m very controlled man. That's why I failed to do anything for my mental peace. I have Exalted Saturn in 5th. Also Mars Conjunct Pluto in 5th. And that Pluto Square Sun.

My Life is so frustration that you can't imagine. I want to kill these filthy people but I can't ever touch then. What a Miserable life.

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By Saturn in Libra does that mean your ASC is Gemini as well as your Moon? (I remember you mentioning in another post that your Moon is in Gemini)

Interesting cuz same here, Moon and rising in Gemini. Is your Moon in the 12th or 1st house? (Mine's in the 12th)

I wonder why you feel so frustrated and angry at 'rich' people, what are your Moons' aspects? Or potentially it's your Mars Pluto conjunct which jealousy would make sense in the fifth house in Libra?

I honestly think that if you shed your anger you'll be able to be just as successful. It might be hard work for you (Saturn fifth) but the rewards will definitely be there. And it'll help your romantic life as well. Anger never really draws anything closer, rather the opposite is true. And with a strong Saturn emphasis you should likely enjoy the process too. Just don't use jealousy to drive you, it'll eat your life away (which based on the way you're describing it, that's precisely what's happening to you right now).

And the fact that you're a controlled man, maybe you should use it to your benefit to heal yourself mentally. Just like you'd a physical ailment with a controlled lifestyle. You're controlling both, just in this case it's to your mental benefit.

posted October 19, 2020 03:12 AM            

Am I allowed to post pictures? I mean I have sun in libra, moon Aquarius, rising in Aquarius. The one aspect I have is asc conjunct moon. And I just feel like these people stare to show dominance I honestly do not know why at this point. But yeah. Hope it gives you and everyone an idea.

posted October 19, 2020 03:16 AM            

Mars sq pluto
Moon sq pluto

Idk if this has to do with my emotional problems but I did do a little research just now.

posted October 19, 2020 04:52 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Brenda_S:
By Saturn in Libra does that mean your ASC is Gemini as well as your Moon? (I remember you mentioning in another post that your Moon is in Gemini)

Interesting cuz same here, Moon and rising in Gemini. Is your Moon in the 12th or 1st house? (Mine's in the 12th)

I wonder why you feel so frustrated and angry at 'rich' people, what are your Moons' aspects? Or potentially it's your Mars Pluto conjunct which jealousy would make sense in the fifth house in Libra?

I honestly think that if you shed your anger you'll be able to be just as successful. It might be hard work for you (Saturn fifth) but the rewards will definitely be there. And it'll help your romantic life as well. Anger never really draws anything closer, rather the opposite is true. And with a strong Saturn emphasis you should likely enjoy the process too. Just don't use jealousy to drive you, it'll eat your life away (which based on the way you're describing it, that's precisely what's happening to you right now).

And the fact that you're a controlled man, maybe you should use it to your benefit to heal yourself mentally. Just like you'd a physical ailment with a controlled lifestyle. You're controlling both, just in this case it's to your mental benefit.

❤️ Hope you feel better soon though.

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Thank you but Sorry, please read carefully.
I never said I don't like RICH people.
From where did you get this concept.
I'm poor that doesn't mean I don't like Rich. In reality I hate mostly poor people than rich. Because most poor people are here illiterate, ugly, filthy, ignorant, uncivilised etc.
Where should I shed Anger ? I told you that I'm a very calm and cool controlled person. I don't beat people. Yes I don't like most yet I don't do harm them. Thanks to my Saturn.

In Tropical zodiac my Asc is late at Taurus. Venus exactly conjunct moon in Gemini 2nd house.
One more thing people jelous of me. I'm not jelous of them. I have no romantic relationship. Women think I'm not capable of doing romance. It may be because I'm a Brutally Honest man. Most women here prefer different types of men who have a lots of money and social status doesn't matter if he is ugly, stupid or violent etc.

posted October 19, 2020 05:22 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Somna7H:
Thank you but Sorry, please read carefully.
I never said I don't like RICH people.
From where did you get this concept.
I'm poor that doesn't mean I don't like Rich. In reality I hate mostly poor people than rich. Because most poor people are here illiterate, ugly, filthy, ignorant, uncivilised etc.
Where should I shed Anger ? I told you that I'm a very calm and cool controlled person. I don't beat people. Yes I don't like most yet I don't do harm them. Thanks to my Saturn.

In Tropical zodiac my Asc is late at Taurus. Venus exactly conjunct moon in Gemini 2nd house.
One more thing people jelous of me. I'm not jelous of them. I have no romantic relationship. Women think I'm not capable of doing romance. It may be because I'm a Brutally Honest man. Most women here prefer different types of men who have a lots of money and social status doesn't matter if he is ugly, stupid or violent etc.

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My bad 🤣 thought you said you dislike 'filthy rich' people. Not sure why it didn't click in my head properly. I totally misread it.

And your wanting to "kill the filthy" people I got the impression that it's as a result of anger/jealousy towards the filthy rich. Lol messed up #MercuryRetrograde.

posted October 19, 2020 02:29 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Somna7H:
No no it's ok.
You can discuss I don't mind.
As I mentioned I'm too Calm.
I'm not any angry foolish man.
Fantasy Vs Reality.
Fantasy is that I want to beat the $hitt out of people for my mental peace.
Reality is that Saturn is always there with me. My patience and tolerance level is very high. Most people impressed by my good behaviour.
So I do what I hate to do. As a result I'm suffering from frustration and I become depressed. Miserable life.

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why do you project so much **** onto other people that you have those desires? i mean in all reality you could beat the **** out of everyone you want to and it wouldn't change the ways your own life is ****** so why do you put all that **** out there externally?

your problems are largely internal there's no amount of harm you could cause another person to achieve some kind of peace, at best it'd be temporary relief due to adrenaline rush and then you'd be right back where you started

why look at other people with disgust anyway? we're all human, all flawed, are you really any better? you don't know them well to see what good qualities they have so it's bias anyway

do you hate the ways you're reflected in them? the things shared? regardless it's internal projecting onto people outside of yourself, putting your own **** on other people then getting frustrated that your outlet can't be met

should take a closer look at yourself man, i mean i get it there's **** people out there but them affecting you like that is a problem because well... they shouldnt

on some level for you to take the existence of others personally it's a you problem not a them problem

i get that culturally in your country there's a lot of division and a lot of stigma attached to certain things etc so i'm sure that plays a role, but until you recognize that it's you not them you're going to have a hard time with a lot of ****

you need to do some shadow work or some **** and really look at yourself more clearly, because that would probably lessen your anger towards others more than if there were some night you could beat them to death 🤣

people can be ****** but it's not this personal thing it's not something worth the emotion you put on it

you are an angry foolish man you know, maybe not outwardly but everything you've expressed here is both angry and foolish a person doesn't need to act in anger to be angry and everything you've expressed is rather foolish on top of that

peace comes from within it's not external, a person can be at peace through internal perspective shifts even if their life doesn't outwardly change

and you're not actually patient just because you don't act on your frustration, patience doesn't just mean not having outbursts

and your tolerance isn't high either, seems rather low if people just existing gets you so damn angry

posted October 19, 2020 02:30 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by polly168:
Other aspects I found were:

Mars sq pluto
Moon sq pluto

Idk if this has to do with my emotional problems but I did do a little research just now.

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posted October 19, 2020 08:15 PM            

me telling you that your frustrations wouldn't be helped by harming other people because peace is internal not external is for your benefit not mine

you talk about your **** self esteem, your trouble in life, wanting to die, your lack of romance and connections with other people regularly and then add in this sort of thing about how you're frustrated you can't harm other people because they disgust you then go "but im not an angry person" 🤣 and it's this complete lack of awareness of what anger even is because you think you gotta actually punch someone to be angry

those feelings are anger man, pointing that out to you has nothing to do with my ego

we're talking on a public forum so there being an audience can't be helped but i'm talking to you not them and this isn't about me

pointing out that finding peace in yourself would benefit you isn't trash talk it's just reality, you look around and point fingers everywhere else but dont examine yourself

i'm probably not different than you in some ways but when it comes to looking at others with disgust and wishing to harm them while saying "im not an angry person" i'd say we differ there 🤷‍♀️

i wasn't trying to intimidate you at all, ehy would i?

you do realize people can have subconscious feelings right? meaning your fantasies are reflective of your feelings even if you aren't acting on them

an angry person having dreams that represent the anger they stifle in reality is still angry they just arent expressing that anger, simple ****

recognizing your anger isn't casting judgement on it, i don't care that you're an angry person (you should though you clearly arent happy) but i can recognize it

i'm not looking for praise i'm not looking to lead anyone, i just find your constant talk about your low.self esteem (weak ego? ) and anger etc disconcerting and you seem to need some actual help

you don't have to be like me but jesus being you doesnt seem to be doing you much good now does it?

i get it you feel criticized because you were so now you're lashing out and projecting **** on me

>Mental problems with lowest self esteem

coming from the guy who fantasizes about killing people cant form lasting bonds hates his life and himself this is pretty ******* funny, not going to lie, think you're looking at yourself here

posted October 19, 2020 08:18 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Somna7H:
@Dumuzi
Try to learn Astrology.
Or at least discuss through Astrology.
Don't talk trash.
We were talking regarding planets and aspects. If you have you can check previous posts.
Find other platforms for your mental peace.
Stop bullying others here.
Better try to find Astrological reason behind these issues.
Such a foolish man came to show as smart ass.

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go look at my previous posts i called it on her having hard pluto aspects and her moon probably being involved

didnt see you talking about just astrology yourself, chill with the hypocrisy

i didn't bully you, you said some crazy **** and i pointed out that you need some serious work on yourself because you brought that up on your own no **** people will comment

guess you aren't actually comfortable with discussing your twisted fantasies and anger

edit: btw i can tell i touched a nerve because you're getting way too ****** over something that wasn't even intended as some kind of trash talk only a reality check because you're constantly miserable and seem to hate yourself and others a lot

could i have said **** better? probably but 🤷‍♀️ you seem pretty bitter anyway so i imagine there's only so many ways to say real **** to you and have it go well