posted February 09, 2021 03:24 PM              

quote:

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Originally posted by kani:
I had a weak left side of the body (the left side symbolizes the feminine, the receiving side) and I strengthened it and I feel almost balanced in my body. I'm still reluctant to ask people directly for help though.

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Very interesting that you mention the above, as there is some synchronicity/correlation here as well. I'm pretty sure I was born left handed or tending towards same (as I'm still left foot dominant), but when I was 4 or 5, and getting out of the car, my bio dad accidentally slammed the car door (probably was drunk) on my left thumb, smashing it pretty hard.

I don't think I was brought to the doctor or hospital. The result being that soon after, I went through a growth spurt, and my left thumb didn't grow normally and had fused wrongly (I can bend it forward some now, but couldn't for awhile, and still have no "hitch hikers thumb" motion/movement to the left one, though I do to the right). I ended up becoming very insecure about this throughout childhood, and so I ended up hiding my left hand quite a bit, which led to much less use of it, which led to a general atrophy of my left side, which led to back issues etc.

I consciously have strengthened that side some here and there, but even now there is a bit of a noticeable disparity. Almost all of us have some of this based on hand dominance (or something else), but not usually so extremely.

I don't know if it relates to deeper/inner things though, as I've always been pretty in touch with the inner feminine/yin side of things, especially so for one connected to a male body. I feel my Soul is a bit more yin polarized than yang, and more than my partner/twin souls who is a bit more yang polarized, though she is connected to a female body.

Also, learning/achieving a "hemi sync" state during meditation or shifting of attention, has always been pretty easy and came naturally to me.

Dunno, just thought that was an interesting synchronicity.

posted February 09, 2021 04:00 PM              

I do believe the right brain hemisphere is more linked to a Yin/Feminine energy, and we do know that the left side of the body is more strongly wired to it, and vice versa for the right side and left brain, but the interesting thing is, you might think there would be more women than men then, that would be left hand dominant.

But I've read, it's more predominant in males. I've wondered a lot about this, and then had a bit of a eureka moment about it. It may actually be that there ARE more females that are born left hand dominant initially, but being so feminine/yin attuned, they bend and/or conform more to society and outer pressures more so, and can more easily morph into right handedness than the males born that way.

Why, because Yin energy and attunement by nature, is more flowing, receptive, and in a sense, easily influenced. Yang energy and attunement is more apt to stand firm in their own individual reality or attunement, rather than being as influenced by outside pressures and influences.

Even if a Yin polarized Soul incarnates in a male body, it has to deal with the influence of the body. But when a Yin polarized Soul incarnates in a female body, there is a match up/harmony and much does get tipped to the Yin in polarization.

posted February 09, 2021 04:13 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by GalacticCoreExplosion:

Dunno, just thought that was an interesting synchronicity.

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I knew you'd find that interesting for some reason. That is why I mentioned it, though I didn't want to at first but something told me to write it.
I think you can have a strong feminine side but still have trouble receiving, feel shame attached to it etc.
I was in a state of inner cleansing/dark night of the soul for a long long time and during that time I was constantly confronted with my weaknesses of the left side/my inner femininity. I actually did feel physically how I slowly became more balanced. My two sides of the body were kinda disconnected before and that process, the dark night, made them come together again (it was painful AS F..but I'm not going into that now). It actually felt like there is a zipper in the middle of my body and it slowly brought the two sides together until they became one, It sounds weird, I know.

posted February 09, 2021 04:38 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by kani:
With me it's more a asking for help/receiving lesson. Autonomy is something I'm very familiar with.
My 11th house is empty, except for Chiron. Taurus is in the 11th and its ruler, Venus is in the 9th house.

The 7th is completely empty and its ruler Saturn is in the 4th. The 12th house is empty as well and its ruler, mercury, is in the 8th house.

Saturn is in the 4th house. It has no aspects except for a conjunction to Jupiter.

Uranus is in the 5th house and trines the sun, the moon, mars, MC and a wide trine with the ascendant. It also squares mercury.

Pluto is in the 4th house. It trines mercury and tightly squares my moon and my ascendant (which is conjunct the moon). The moon also rules the ascendant. Pluto is also inconjunct my sun and biquintile my Venus but I don't know if that aspect really counts.

Taurus is not strong in my chart. I have Chiron in Taurus and that's it. I have only the north node in the second house. The second house is ruled by the sun and my sun is strongly aspected (trine moon, conjuct Venus, conjunct Mars, conjunct MC, square Neptune, trine Uranus...).

In the draconic chart sun, venus and mars are in Scorpio...

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And there lies the answer to your question .

In short and just looking at your Uranus and Nodes and Chiron: you've got a beautiful dynamic to get away from the comfort of always taking care of others needs, or putting them ahead of yours, to develop self worth, reliance and sufficiency.
Good that you are autonomous, no wonder you have all that Uranus to naturally "push" you to be that independent, supporting the manifestation of the lesson of your North Node.

It's not surprising sometimes you are denied help, you are supposed to do it on your own first and foremost, meaning to accomplish things through your own efforts and stop investing so much of your energy on others.

Perhaps when you are denied help, it's also a nudge from your own soul to not go back to old dynamics. Don't give too much to others. To balance this give/receive dynamic out.
And to leave certain past life dramas behind too and achieve inner peace/balance.

You've got a wonderful intuition by the way.

EDIT: In short, not getting help is to keep you on track and on your toes, and to remind you to not give too much of yourself to others, because not always it will be reciprocated... Also your sense of self worth may have been damaged or there may have been a sense of insecurity and it's been rebuilt by your own merit and effort throughout your life. You go girl!

posted February 09, 2021 05:03 PM            

Perhaps you were raised by religious or politically-narrow parents that coupled "shame" with someone's having needs.

Could your subconscious have been imprinted by (important) people (or folks you admired) who may have (consciously or not) given you admonitions on issues of giving-and-taking (in your past)?

"Negative Admonitions"
examples

It's not okay to bother people.
Don't BE a bother to people?
Don't have needs.

You're not very bright if you needed to ask!
So, you're not rich-enough to PAY someone to satisfy your need or request?

Be a Profit center; not a Cost center.

People already 'know' what you need:
if *they* felt like it,
then it would have been given to you.

You don't deserve to ask.
You're going to be a debtor: don't be a debtor.
Don't 'impose' your problems on other people.

You're supposed to be a Giver and not a "Taker."
Taking is shameful.
It hurts other people to 'give' to you.

*~

(music) Lean on Me
(Bill Withers, lyrics)
[4:54] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jrlhn1H1EWw

posted February 09, 2021 05:25 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Sunnya:
What's happening with your 11th house? And its ruler? And with the 7th and its ruler? 12th?

Where's Saturn, Uranus and Pluto? And what are they doing?

Do you have strong Taurus/2nd house? What rules your 2nd house and how it is aspected?

Do you have any squares to the Lunar Nodes?

Check your Draconic chart too.

Just some things to check. It could be many things and could even be connected with self sufficiency/autonomy lesson.

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draconic charts seem pointless to, though mine is just my sidereal chart pretty much exactly (off by 2 degrees) so that could be part of it

posted February 09, 2021 05:30 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Dumuzi:
draconic charts seem pointless to, though mine is just my sidereal chart pretty much exactly (off by 2 degrees) so that could be part of it

i mean sure it fits but it fits because it's just my chart anyway (i only use tropical system here because when in rome...)

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posted February 09, 2021 05:48 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by kani:
Nothing in Cap either. Funny enough, my bf has a Cap rising and has no issues asking for help.

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Interesting, I guess I am striking out here when it comes to suggesting the astrological reasons

But non-astrology-wise, I definitely think it could have to do with childhood. I agree with Galactic when he said it could have to do with a lack of trust. If you weren’t able to rely on others as a kid, that could be ingrained in you, to think that you can only rely on yourself.

posted February 09, 2021 06:13 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Sunnya:
It's not pointless since I wanted to have an idea about her nodal path .

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do they fit though? explain

posted February 09, 2021 08:12 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Dumuzi:
do they fit though? explain

edit: please 🥺

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Kani said she has draconic sun, venus and mars in Scorpio. It's not much info but it's interesting since her SN is in her 8th. There's a resonance. Edit: for example, perhaps she has been pushed to her limits quite a few times in order to move towards her NN in the 2nd.

It usually makes sense or sometimes we understand better our draconic charts as our life happens. Remember Draconics are calculated using the Nodes, so basically they reflect from where we came to where we are going so to speak.

If you like you can make a post with your draconic and natal and I can have a look.

posted February 09, 2021 09:29 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Sunnya:
Kani said she has draconic sun, venus and mars in Scorpio. It's not much info but it's interesting since her SN is in her 8th. There's a resonance. Edit: for example, perhaps she has been pushed to her limits quite a few times in order to move towards her NN in the 2nd.

It usually makes sense or sometimes we understand better our draconic charts as our life happens. Remember Draconics are calculated using the Nodes, so basically they reflect from where we came to where we are going so to speak.

If you like you can make a post with your draconic and natal and I can have a look.

There's still much to learn about draconics but it's quite fascinating!

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not sure what order these will be in, but this is my sidereal, draconic, and tropical

i included the sidereal to show you why i never really bothered learning draconic stuff because it's essentially the same as my sidereal anyway, so it's basically just where the planets actually were when i was born anyway

posted February 10, 2021 02:15 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Sunnya:
And there lies the answer to your question .

In short and just looking at your Uranus and Nodes and Chiron: you've got a beautiful dynamic to get away from the comfort of always taking care of others needs, or putting them ahead of yours, to develop self worth, reliance and sufficiency.
Good that you are autonomous, no wonder you have all that Uranus to naturally "push" you to be that independent, supporting the manifestation of the lesson of your North Node.

It's not surprising sometimes you are denied help, you are supposed to do it on your own first and foremost, meaning to accomplish things through your own efforts and stop investing so much of your energy on others.

Perhaps when you are denied help, it's also a nudge from your own soul to not go back to old dynamics. Don't give too much to others. To balance this give/receive dynamic out.
And to leave certain past life dramas behind too and achieve inner peace/balance.

You've got a wonderful intuition by the way.

EDIT: In short, not getting help is to keep you on track and on your toes, and to remind you to not give too much of yourself to others, because not always it will be reciprocated... Also your sense of self worth may have been damaged or there may have been a sense of insecurity and it's been rebuilt by your own merit and effort throughout your life. You go girl!

If you don't understand something, let me know. I will come back and type with more calm.

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thank you for your explanation! and yes the lessons of the second house have been apparent throughout my life. Maybe that is why I like having Taurus energy around?

I have been denied help by my parents when I was little and that kinda stuck with me I guess. I'm just going to explain the situation that I remember in particular. I was being bullied at school and I wanted to tell my parents about it. We were all in the living room and they were watching TV. I remember already knowing that they wouldn't listen but I still opened up about it. They didn't even turn around to me, still glued to the tv, and just said "talk to your friends" about it. I wasn't even that disappointed because I already knew they wouldn't bother, it was more a confirmation deep down that I can't count on them, that I can't talk about my problems with them. And that carried through my life and so I became really great and sorting everything out on my own.

These days, even though friends have told me that being ashamed to ask for help is really dumb, considering how much I do for them, I'm still reluctant to do so. Even if it's small things like, taking care of my mailbox and checking it once a week while I m not in town. Something I'd do for my friend in a heartbeat.

How would you explain Chiron in Taurus in the 11th? The online definitions are kinda fitting but I sense that your definition will be more particular.

Before I forget: the only aspect to the node is a square from Lilith. Does that have relevance?

posted February 10, 2021 02:30 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by mirage29:
Cancer Rising
and a Watery Mars
Neptune in the 6th
can be self-sacrificing.

Perhaps you were raised by religious or politically-narrow parents that coupled "shame" with someone's having needs.

Could your subconscious have been imprinted by (important) people (or folks you admired) who may have (consciously or not) given you admonitions on issues of giving-and-taking (in your past)?

"Negative Admonitions"
examples

It's not okay to bother people.
Don't BE a bother to people?
Don't have needs.

You're not very bright if you needed to ask!
So, you're not rich-enough to PAY someone to satisfy your need or request?

Be a Profit center; not a Cost center.

People already 'know' what you need:
if *they* felt like it,
then it would have been given to you.

You don't deserve to ask.
You're going to be a debtor: don't be a debtor.
Don't 'impose' your problems on other people.

You're supposed to be a Giver and not a "Taker."
Taking is shameful.
It hurts other people to 'give' to you.

*~

(music) Lean on Me
(Bill Withers, lyrics)
[4:54] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jrlhn1H1EWw

(good topic)

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"Don't impose your problems on other people"
"Don't bother people"
"Be a giver not a taker"

This is everything my father (and sometimes my mother) said with deeds, not just with words (see my previous post where I talk about that one childhood situation)

I'll give another example: my sister was hit by a car when she was little. And here in Germany, the insurance of the driver automatically pays the victim of the accident (especially since my sister was a pedestrian). My father not only DENIED accepting the money (even though it is insurance money) but also said that my sister was partly responsible just to make the driver, that caused this to his own child, feel better. And there were many many other situations like this.
So my father, by seeing his children as an extension of himself, tried to impose his low self worth on us by treating us like he treated himself.
I went in another direction. I m not taking any sh'' and I'm not a doormat, people also usually accept when I refuse to help, especially my friends. The thing with me is more that I cannot ask for it myself really.

I m not too sure about watery Mars being an issue. I know many of them who are not self sacrificing, I wouldn't call myself self sacrificing either as I can say no, when I'm out of energy or really don't want to help, I'm just reluctant to ask for help myself.

posted February 10, 2021 04:00 AM            

I became that way after spending
10+ yrs of living in a place with alot of harsh saturn aspects, it pops up whenever I do a relocation chart.....thank god I've moved back to my city of birth!!.

Actually my move back home concided with my solar return....

During those 10+ yrs I learned its so much easier just to figure out or handle problems yourself.

Either people won't help you or if they do its more trouble then its actually worth, much better to deal with it yourself.

I'm much better now after moving back home, if it really saves me time then I will seek help...but I will still do alot of things myself.

At least where I live now I can find competent people willing to help.

None of that "everyone thinks they're an expert Bul$hit" or they'll make up things as they go as in the previous $hit city that I lived in.

If your not strong willed or weak minded those type of people will give you bad advice and lead you in the wrong direction.

posted February 10, 2021 05:32 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by DualGemV2:
For my case it whouldn't show up in my chart per say...

I became that way after spending
10+ yrs of living in a place with alot of harsh saturn aspects, it pops up whenever I do a relocation chart.....thank god I've moved back to my city of birth!!.

Actually my move back home concided with my solar return....

During those 10+ yrs I learned its so much easier just to figure out or handle problems yourself.

Either people won't help you or if they do its more trouble then its actually worth, much better to deal with it yourself.

I'm much better now after moving back home, if it really saves me time then I will seek help...but I will still do alot of things myself.

At least where I live now I can find competent people willing to help.

None of that "everyone thinks they're an expert Bul$hit" or they'll make up things as they go as in the previous $hit city that I lived in.

If your not strong willed or weak minded those type of people will give you bad advice and lead you in the wrong direction.

My Planets
=========================================
☉‘ ♊, ☽ ♈, ASC ♑, ☿ ♊, ¡÷ ♉, ¡ö ♋ , ♃ ♒, ♄ ♏, ♅ ♐, ♆ ♑

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"Either people won't help you or if they do its more trouble then its actually worth, much better to deal with it yourself."

posted February 10, 2021 05:34 AM            

Yeah, it’s long... a brief excerpt:
“Anthropologists characterize gift economies as systems of exchange in which goods and services circulate without explicit expectations of direct compensation. Those who have give to those who don’t, so that everyone in the system has what they need. It is not regulated from above, but derives from a collective sense of equity and accountability in response to the gifts of the Earth.

In his book Sacred Economics, Charles Eisenstein states: “Gifts cement the mystical realization of participation in something greater than oneself which, yet, is not separate from oneself. The axioms of rational self-interest change because the self has expanded to include something of the other.” If the community is flourishing, then all within it will partake of the same abundance—or shortage—that nature provides.

The currency of exchange is gratitude and relationship rather than money. It includes a system of social and moral agreements for indirect reciprocity. So, the hunter who shared the feast with you could well anticipate that you would share from a full fishnet or offer your labor in repairing a boat.”

posted February 10, 2021 07:43 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Chanterelle:
Thought you might find this interesting: Robin Wall Kimmerer on the ‘gift economy’. http://emergencemagazine.org/story/the-serviceberry/

Yeah, it’s long... a brief excerpt:
“Anthropologists characterize gift economies as systems of exchange in which goods and services circulate without explicit expectations of direct compensation. Those who have give to those who don’t, so that everyone in the system has what they need. It is not regulated from above, but derives from a collective sense of equity and accountability in response to the gifts of the Earth.

In his book Sacred Economics, Charles Eisenstein states: “Gifts cement the mystical realization of participation in something greater than oneself which, yet, is not separate from oneself. The axioms of rational self-interest change because the self has expanded to include something of the other.” If the community is flourishing, then all within it will partake of the same abundance—or shortage—that nature provides.

The currency of exchange is gratitude and relationship rather than money. It includes a system of social and moral agreements for indirect reciprocity. So, the hunter who shared the feast with you could well anticipate that you would share from a full fishnet or offer your labor in repairing a boat.”

Point is, I think it is really important to allow others the opportunity for reciprocity. I would imagine that most people would eventually start to feel uncomfortable asking for anything from someone who never wants to accept anything in return.

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posted February 10, 2021 08:48 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Chanterelle:
Yeah, definitely... I had a real eye-opener on this a couple of years ago, when I was having car trouble that I couldn’t afford to fix. About once a week my battery would die, and I’d have to find someone to jump-start it for me. After a while I got really good at scanning a parking lot full of people and choosing someone who looked reasonably friendly, competent, and unhurried to ask for help. Then one time my car died in the middle of the night and I had to leave my daughter waiting while I walked down the highway to a McDonalds. I was in too much of a hurry to bother with my usual assessment, just walked right up to the first person I saw getting in a car, and got lucky on the second try. I thanked the girl who ended up helping me, and she said “I can’t even tell you how happy it makes me to think that, out of all the people in that parking lot, we (she and her boyfriend) were the ones you thought were least sketchy-looking and most likely to be willing to help. That never happens!” So that’s something I try to keep in mind: everyone needs to feel useful, and asking for help can be a way of giving someone else an opportunity to be generous.

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thank you for that new perspective and for telling me your experiences. It 's an eye opener for sure

posted February 10, 2021 11:22 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Chanterelle:
Still working on it... I think the hardest part for me is learning how to graciously accept or reject what I don’t need. How to recognize when someone genuinely wants to be helpful, and when that ‘help’ is actually a subtle way of steering you in a particular direction...

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That's absolutely vital. So far none of the people in my inner circle has ulterior motives in this respect. But it's always good to stay alert.