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Author
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Topic: Is it or is it not rude when........
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GypseeWind
Knowflake Posts: 1016
From: Dayton,Ohio USA
Registered: May 2009
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posted August 12, 2009 10:06 AM
 
People stop by unanounced?This may sound silly and trivial, but it has been on my mind now for a couple months. Ever since I moved into a #5 house, which is supposed to be like Grand Central Station. Yesterday was a good day.....My door was only knocked on six times. Yes, that is a good day.
Seriously, this is getting ridiculous. I don't want to be rude, but what the hell?
I never do that! I always call, or, you know do something crazy like, wait to be invited!!
Last week my landlord knocked on my door 8 times! He was doing some work nearby and needed to use the bathroom. 8 times in one day!
Needless to say there ain't no layin around half naked in my house! Don't people ever stop and think they are being a nuisance?
Don't people consider other people may be asleep, or working or just wanting to be alone? One day last month I put a note on my front door saying "No visitors today please-have a migraine." Had no effect at all. Sigh. IP: Logged |
wheels of cheese
Knowflake Posts: 461
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted August 12, 2009 10:37 AM
It is rude. I absolutely hate it. Well, I suppose I don't absolutely hate it, it depends on the person and if they are ok with me telling them to go away if I'm not in the mood. Because if you turn up unannounced that's what you should be prepared for.My Dad does it all the time. I used to let him in. He used to do it on Saturday mornings. Saturday mornings, I ask you! FFS! Then he'd just sit there with his boring wife (NB, not my mum! hahahaa) and expect to be entertained. I'd be in my dressing gown almost crying with frustration because I'd just wanted to have a pot of coffee and to watch the cookery shows on TV. So I don't fall for that crap anymore, and now I live 50 miles away from him, so his tough titty if he comes without phoning first, it's too bad. IP: Logged |
GypseeWind
Knowflake Posts: 1016
From: Dayton,Ohio USA
Registered: May 2009
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posted August 12, 2009 10:50 AM
wow, wheels, you rock. I guess I am too nice. Actually, I am sorta scared if I begin to tell them how I feel I wont stop!My kids g-ma is famous for this, but she is actually spying on me and has admitted it to others. But she's one of those that if you try to tell her anything she flips it on you and plays the hurt feelings, teary eyed game. GRRRR. I got another story for ya.
A week or so ago, my bff (scorp man) calls up and says he wants to come over, which was nice he actually phoned first, cause usually he just barges right in, anyway, I said no because I was mopping the kitchen floor and rearranging my furniture, etc.
He comes back with a reply, "well, I can come and help you." I said no thanks this is basically a one woman job, blah, blah, yada yada. Anyway, the conversation ends in a screaming match (which is what I am always afraid of if I say what I mean) with me saying I DO NOT WANT company, and him saying things like....I won't bother you, I'll just sit quietly and watch tv....AND it turned ugly when he said, "I'm coming over any way, and I will just sit on your front porch because I want to go somewhere else besides my house!"
I flipped.
I screamed that I was not responsible for his entertainment and he needed to learn how to take a freakin hint.
He didn't come over.
Till the next day. sheesh. IP: Logged |
wheels of cheese
Knowflake Posts: 461
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted August 12, 2009 11:00 AM
Jesus wept Gypsee, that sounds like a nightmare with your bff. And the Grandma. The emotional manipulators are the worst kind. I just dig my heels in more with them. I always ask people, especially new aquaintances "Ring me first". If they don't do it then thats not my bag. I think it's Sun conjunct Uranus. I feel little difficulty with being selfish in this way. I need my space. I have had to practise saying no, it hasn't come easy. And I think the best way to do it is give them as little information as possible and keep saying it, I mostly use "It's not a good time for me right now" and if they come out with the disappointed crap I say "I'm sorry, it's not a good time for me right now" and if they get teary... guess what I say?  My sister tried it on last week when I was in my bedroom with the door shut. I was on the bed reading my book. Suddenly the door gets flung open and she says "We (she and my niece) have come to bother you!" and in she comes with a glass of wine and my niece starts hitting me over the head with a huge stuffed snake. So I say "Oh really. The door was closed, so close it on your way out and I'll see you when my door's open". Bless her, she took it alright but yeah, read the signs, and he word "bother" said it all. She knew what she was doing. Basically you can't win any popularity contests if you need a little "me" time.
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Unmoved
Moderator Posts: 528
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted August 12, 2009 11:02 AM
Rude! Rude! Rude!I couldn't stand for that cr@p. I'd lose it. I am a quiet person, and I am always in the middle of something, so I need a person to let me know in advance if they are going to come over, especially since I don't sleep normal hours. But, it is a mission to get to me unannounced because you will remain ignored at the gate, and I don't care how much I love you because if you know me and love me, you should know that just showing up don't fly!
yeah, more than 3 people knocking at my door would have me going up the walls.
This reminds me once of a time when Jehovah's Witnesses made it to my door. There was no gate at that place. I was livid with their constant visits, and having to repeat that I don't care about paradise, and so I told them that they must leave me alone because I worship the devil and it "angers the Dark Lord" when they come over. They never came back.  IP: Logged |
cpn_edgar_winner
Knowflake Posts: 1004
From: Toledo, OH
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 12, 2009 11:05 AM
oooohhhh....i hate that....like are you seriously going to force me to be rude with you? i don't like being rude, but my # 2 hub, did like your bf (alot) and sometimes i had to out right say, i don't feel like company, bottom line. me - i have a head ache
him - i will pamper you and bring stuff
me- i have todo my mnails
him- we can go to the mall and get pedicure too
me - i am tired
him- then we'll have an early night
me - I DONT FEEL LIKE COMPANY
him- i will bring a movie
me - I DONT FEEL LIKE COMPANY
him- we'll im already on my way i should have never married his butt, since i didnt want him around all the time anyway, but THE PRESSURE! he had an answer for EVERYTHING! when you want to hide your car around back and shut off the lights, they are pushing you too far. now i live off the beaten path from my family and friends, so it really doesnt happen anymore, thank god. stuff to do about it-
tell gramma you are having a sex party, they should be here any minute.
bf - what i did sometimes is play my guitar EXTREMELY loud for hours on end in distortion, i know the pushy man hated it....actually resorted to that a lot when we were married too.
friends- wow, you a re just in time to help me
a. clean my gutters
b. re-paint my kitchen cup boards
c. move a refidgerator, piano. or other heavy object up and down stairs preferably.... then they learn, oh, not a good time, maybe i should call first. see- there is a way...
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wheels of cheese
Knowflake Posts: 461
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted August 12, 2009 11:21 AM
I'm glad I'm not alone in feeling like this, people can make you feel like a scumbag.And I'm not that brave with everybody. Last summer I left the man I was living with and moved into a friend's house (it was empty, he was living with his girlfriend elsewhere). But he would visit. God would he visit. 6 times a week. He'd be there when I got home from work, or very soon after. On weekends I'd wake up and he'd be sitting in the garden. He'd have come over on a pretext, like "I've got to cut the hedges". He was like desperate for company. We would talk and he's actually really good company but it was such a traumatic time for me and I don't work through my feelings by talking to others at all. And because it was his house I felt I couldn't say no because I lived there for free, and he was doing me a favour. I felt like a rat in a trap and I had a kneejerk reaction by moving into my own place too fast just to get away from him. I now realise he had no right to do that, and that I'd gone from one controlling situation to another. And I felt like the stuff I needed to deal with got delayed because someone else's input just muddied everything. Never again! IP: Logged |
wheels of cheese
Knowflake Posts: 461
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted August 12, 2009 11:22 AM
Yep, getting on with your own thing when they turn up is a great tactic Cpn!! IP: Logged |
Deux*Antares
Knowflake Posts: 408
From: No Permanent Address
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 12, 2009 11:35 AM
quote:
I don't care about paradise, and so I told them that they must leave me alone because I worship the devil and it "angers the Dark Lord" when they come over
quote:
tell gramma you are having a sex party, they should be here any minute
Yes, it's rude.
If it's an emergency situation like they need someone to talk them out of suicide, I would ask them to at least give me an hour to shower and tidy up the place. And they should bring food! IP: Logged |
DepTaurus
Knowflake Posts: 633
From: canada
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 12, 2009 11:56 AM
yeah that is rude. most people they just dont have a clue.i cant stand it either i too am a quiet person just like unmoved. and i need quiet and peace. that is so rude when you said that you put a sign on your door and they just ignored it that was so seriously rude of those people. see this is why i cant be near reallly cheeky or happy nice people because they do these kinda things. they knock on your door and bug you all day long. me i wont have that in my house if your gunna be rude and knock on my door then dont be so happpy about it. sorry to hear these people are bugging you my sugesstion is too just lock your door close all your lights and act like your not home i do it most of the time. IP: Logged |
GypseeWind
Knowflake Posts: 1016
From: Dayton,Ohio USA
Registered: May 2009
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posted August 12, 2009 12:20 PM
I have done that, the lights and door thing, but it's like, why the heck should I be a prisoner in my own home! I should be able to go near windows without having to worry about being 'seen'.LMAO @ the jehovah witness story. Got one of those for ya.. So I lived in this other #5 house about 8 years or so ago.
My across the street neighbor was a JW. She came over alot with her pamphlets in the beginning. She even sent food, which I thought was terribly manipulative, since I do like to eat...
anyway, we had a long discussion in which I explained I would never convert and if we were to be civil neighbors, she would need to stop doing that.
Which she did.
Then she sent a pack of her friends on me.
Oh my, but they were on a mission!
So I devised a plan, which failed horribly, of course.
I had a fabulously gorgeous friend come over at like 9 am on a weekday. We both put on bikinis and took our chairs out front of my house. I was blasting Kid Rock at wall shattering decibals.
We took empty beer bottles, rinsed them out and filled them with sprite, to look as though we were comsuming at 9 in the morning. We laughed and ran about like idiots, thinking this will scare them off...
nooooo, they thought I needed redemption more than ever after that! Whew, glad I don't live there anymore.
p.s. She still lives there, and three, count them three, people have moved in and out of my old house in 8 years! hmmm I wonder why? IP: Logged |
DepTaurus
Knowflake Posts: 633
From: canada
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 12, 2009 12:32 PM
yeah your right you should not be a prisoner in your own home. quote:
She even sent food, which I thought was terribly manipulative, since I do like to eat...
thata was funny for some reason to me at least. the sprite thing was genuis. IP: Logged |
Dervish
Knowflake Posts: 208
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted August 12, 2009 04:04 PM
I don't have that much traffic, so I generally don't mind. But when I don't feel like company, I just ignore people who knock (I may or may not take a peek to see who it is first), and wo onto the very rare cretin who keeps on banging until I answer (when I answer, "What's the emergency?" they better have one). quote:
One day last month I put a note on my front door saying "No visitors today please-have a migraine." Had no effect at all
THAT'S rude. I'd have to ask them if they can read. (I understand many actually don't read signs for some reason. Plenty of people who work at jobs answering questions put up huge signs answering the question and they still get asked all the time anyway. Still, I bet they wouldn't ignore a "you will be shot" sign...) IP: Logged |
Diana
Knowflake Posts: 520
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted August 12, 2009 04:29 PM
The best way to deal with it is to not even open the door.That's what I do. I HATE when people stop by unannounced. IP: Logged |
Valus
Knowflake Posts: 1023
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 12, 2009 04:49 PM
LMMFAOThis is the best thread ever. Okay, here's what you do... Nail a pig's heart to the door --
along with a note that reads:
THIS IS WHAT'S LEFT OF THE LAST PERSON
WHO KNOCKED ON MY DOOR UNANNOUNCED But dont use a nail,
use a sharp piece of bone. Oh, and the heart should be dripping
and trickling blood all over the note,
but not so much that you can't read it.
Plan B
If the dripping heart isnt your thing,
you can try to rig the door with electrodes,
so that anybody who knocks will get shocked.
After a while, they'll probably stop knocking.
Plan C
Okay, so maybe bloody hearts and electrodes
aren't your cup of tea... here's what you can do: Next time somebody comes to the door,
or calls and gets all pushy with you,
say, "You unbelievable son of a b!tch,
can't you take a motherhumping hint?!
Then open the door and bop them on the head
with a heavy wooden mallet -- hard, --
or, if they're on the phone, as loud as you can,
shreik like a cat on fire: AHHHhhhhhh!!!!! If they make any reply, say,
"Whatchoo talkin bout, Willis?"
Then hang up.
Or slam the door;
whichever applies. Hope that's helpful.  IP: Logged |
Valus
Knowflake Posts: 1023
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 12, 2009 04:52 PM
quote:
when I answer, "What's the emergency?" they better have one.
 IP: Logged |
GypseeWind
Knowflake Posts: 1016
From: Dayton,Ohio USA
Registered: May 2009
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posted August 12, 2009 09:43 PM
OKAY, nobody ever stop at valus' house unanounced, you have been properly warned!Actually the dripping heart nail with a bone is kinda actually my thing, but knowing my luck, it would draw more people who have to knock to know what the heck is that nailed to my door. IP: Logged |
aerialcircus
Knowflake Posts: 234
From: Western Massachusetts, US
Registered: May 2009
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posted August 12, 2009 10:13 PM
quote:
But dont use a nail,
use a sharp piece of bone.
IP: Logged |
BlueTopaz124
Knowflake Posts: 80
From: Portland, OR, USA
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 12, 2009 10:58 PM
I'm sorry GypseeWind that people are so rude. Yes, it is rude to stop by multiple times, let alone once uninvited.This is a hilarious thread.
I put a No Soliciting sign in the window next to my front door to stop the religious solicitors from knocking. The lady who looked surprised on a Sunday morning when I answered in my bathrobe once (hellooooo, this is my house and it's Sundaaaaaay) once tucked her folded Watchtower flier in my door instead of knocking... 
IP: Logged |
GypseeWind
Knowflake Posts: 1016
From: Dayton,Ohio USA
Registered: May 2009
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posted August 12, 2009 11:27 PM
Blue, you reminded me of something...This house has actually been 'in the family' for a long time.
It is off the main road, and drive-bys and hobos knocking at the door is just a common thing.
But one time I was about 19 I guess, and I was over here with my kids dad. This car pulled right up in front of the house, and there was all this yelling and commotion.
I ran outside to see a man beating the crap out of a woman in a car.
So I run into the house, call 911, and go back out to grab the lady out of the car. She asked me for a cigarette and if she could come in.
So I let her.
Then she starts asking me for all kinds of stuff.
Finally the cops come, and there asking me what I saw and this and that.
And then they said, "Oh, we know Sally very well, she's been arrested for soliciting many, many times."
I said, "what's soliciting???" LMAO!
I didn't know then. sheesh.
Anyway, my kids dad pulls up right at that moment, with the cops and the girl and a horrified me in the house.
Takes one look at the situation and says, "I go to get cigarettes and you let the cops AND a prostitute in?????"
Oh, the humiliation. IP: Logged |
cpn_edgar_winner
Knowflake Posts: 1004
From: Toledo, OH
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 13, 2009 07:14 AM
guess my second husbands sun sign.....
(giant pickle award, no looking at past posts allowed)
this should be easy!me - i have a head ache
him - i will pamper you and bring stuff
me- i have todo my mnails
him- we can go to the mall and get pedicure too
me - i am tired
him- then we'll have an early night
me - I DONT FEEL LIKE COMPANY
him- i will bring a movie
me - I DONT FEEL LIKE COMPANY
him- we'll im already on my way IP: Logged |
wheels of cheese
Knowflake Posts: 461
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted August 13, 2009 07:25 AM
Ok, a fixed sign? I'm guessing... Taurus?IP: Logged |
wheels of cheese
Knowflake Posts: 461
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted August 13, 2009 07:27 AM
quote:
You unbelievable son of a b!tch
I'm saving that one for my Dad!
IP: Logged |
wheels of cheese
Knowflake Posts: 461
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted August 13, 2009 07:28 AM
"I go to get cigarettes and you let the cops AND a prostitute in?????"ROFLMFAO IP: Logged |
cpn_edgar_winner
Knowflake Posts: 1004
From: Toledo, OH
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 13, 2009 08:45 AM
aries.saving that one for your dad! hilarious! IP: Logged | |
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