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Author Topic:   Do We Choose Our Parents?
Valus
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posted October 19, 2009 06:02 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Valus     Edit/Delete Message

Many people have bought into the claim that we choose our parents (and everything else) before we come into the world, and I was wondering if anybody can offer some evidence to support this, apart from allegedly channelled material. I was interested in Brian Weiss, M.D.'s work with past-life regression ("Many Masters, Many Lives", etc.), but I only read one of his books ("Messages From The Masters") and I dont remember him mentioning any choices in-between lives. If anyone here is more familiar with his work, I'd like to hear any experiences he may have had with this. Also, if anyone here has some personal experience, maybe a possible regression memory or something, I'd love to hear that, too. Where did this theory of choosing our parents and all the rest of it come from, anyway? Is it just a New Age development, or has it been around for a while?

I was telling my friend about some Ancient Egyptian (Hermetic) theology I was reading lately, and he says it sounds a lot like certain Buddhist stuff he's read. According to the Egyptian stuff, souls are herded into incarnation and are very sorry to be born. They are all waiting on line, lamenting their fates. Supposedly, the soul's characteristics are eclipsed, and the soul appears to take on the characteristics of whatever gods were present at the time of birth (according to the influences of the planets and zodiac signs). This, however, seems to contradict another part of the text, where souls are supposedly paired with bodies that suit them; sluggish souls with sluggish bodies, intelligent souls with intelligent brains, etc. So I'm not sure what the official position is there. Confusing.

Anyway, there are plenty of theories out there, and I'm just wondering what makes somebody (who was not brought up to believe it) choose to believe in one of these theories or claims over another.

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koiflower
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posted October 19, 2009 06:32 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for koiflower     Edit/Delete Message
I'm an inactive member of the LDS church. One of the beliefs is that we are all spiritual beings before coming here (even plants and animals).

There is also a scripture saying the God knows us before we are born.

In saying this, I don't know as I haven't got enough information to delve deeply. But a church member friend of mine, believed that we choose our parents.

Or do we choose the lineage? One of the 12 Tribes? Or the reptilian lineage? Do we choose the parents that adopt us out?

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blue moon
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posted October 19, 2009 06:49 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for blue moon     Edit/Delete Message
Why? Could be because it helps makes sense of a random universe that can seem unfair.

Or helps makes sense of a seemingly random universe that can seem unfair.

Pick to suit.

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Yin
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posted October 19, 2009 09:06 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Yin     Edit/Delete Message
Good question.
I don't know if I chose my parents but I am certain that the lessons we taught each other throughout the relationship have benefited all of us.
Did I feel like a changeling with them? Certainly. Most times I just marveled at the emotional distance between us. Then why would I have chosen to be born to them?
The "Celestine Prophesy"'s sequel came to mind - "The Tenth Insight":

quote:
In the story, each individual soul is part of a larger "Soul Group", which shares the mission of helping the evolution of the cosmos. At times, a soul from a given Group incarnates itself, choosing the conditions of its life according to its needs, while the other souls observe. Each soul creates a reality around itself, which later brings consequences upon it. These consequences take the form of life and afterlife, which vary according to the person's choices.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Tenth_Insight:_Holding_the_Vision

Sounds comforting, doesn't it?
That would be my reason for choosing to believe it anyway.

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katatonic
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posted October 19, 2009 10:51 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for katatonic     Edit/Delete Message
valus, michael newton talks extensively about this...he got into past lives by accident as a hypnotherapist, but found that the "life between lives" (the title of his latest book) interested him much more. he reckons that yes, we choose a great many of the details of our coming life when we are in between.

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Valus
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posted October 19, 2009 02:52 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Valus     Edit/Delete Message

bluemoon,

Its amazing to me that people can just pick something because it sounds nice and makes them feel good, and not based on any actual evidence or argument. I think, if that is what happens (and it does appear to be the case), it must be happening on a very subconscious level. And people who make choices that way tend to get hostile when their beliefs are questioned. Perhaps it doesnt matter so much what the truth is, and maybe its a good thing for people to have something that comforts them (even if it is a lie), but, for myself, I can't help looking for the truth. I prefer to think that I could confront an inconvenient truth and adapt myself to it, rather than choose to believe a comforting lie that's already adapted to my present stage of development. You?


Yin,

That doesnt necessarily sound comforting, although it does, at least, indicate a kind of order. If I understand correctly, it seems to suggest that the souls who accompany us in our incarnations (relatives, friends, etc.) may not be members of our true soul group, but that our true soul group may be disincarnate, keeping us company in clandestine ways. Perhaps we are brought together with other souls in this life, not because of anything we share in common with them, but because of our differences, which challenge us to acquire the lessons and experiences we lack. You know I've always felt like a changeling, too.


kat,

Thanks. I'll check out his book.
It sounds like just the right prescription
for what interests me at the moment.

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SunChild
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posted October 19, 2009 05:45 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for SunChild     Edit/Delete Message
My own mother! It was just before she turned 7, she explained to her own adoptive parents that SHE was her Mothers, Mother once, in a previous life. Although my Nan is not of this kind of belief, she had rememberd this conversation with her daughter for 42 years.
My mum did some regression and rememberd why she was adopted by her mother, they flipped roles in two incarnations.
This is quite common in families, brothers, were sons, or daughters, fathers were husbands, ect... It's quite a web.
The best way (ime) to get anwers like this is to talk to children and ask them questions about their life before this life.


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Glaucus
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posted October 19, 2009 06:07 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Glaucus     Edit/Delete Message
I believe in reincarnation,and I believe that we do choose our parents

I do wonder about some things in reincarnation.
I mention about these things in the past.

how long ago did people believe in reincarnation and what places?

Did the ancient Mesopotamians believe in reincarnation. The Babylonians,Sumerians,and Assyrians. What did they believe in? Did the Egyptians believe in reincarnation?

Reincarnation is a widespread belief in India,but some people believe that the reincarnation concept was created in India to create caste systems which tended to keep the Untouchables(Dalits) oppressed and down. Many Dalits are suffering in India to this very day. That's why Dalit Freedom Network was born. BTW this is nothing political. It's sociological. Sociology and politics aren't the same.

any ways a prominent Dalit,Dr. Velu Annamalai, who was the first Dalit to get an engineering degree, said that Hinduism is sanctified racism. http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=4735E232A822C06C&search_query=untouchables+blacks

I live in Sacramento,California which has 14 percent black population.


I noticed that not even 1 percent of the people that showed up for the Brian L. Weiss pastlife regression workshop were black.

The interfaith unity church that I attend is like that too.

I notice the same thing when I attend healing arts/psychic fairs.


are blacks much less prone to embrace New Age,New Thought ideas compared to whites?

I think that is the case.

I discussed this with a black female friend of mine,and she agreed with me. She's into New Age,New Thought ideas.

I wonder if it was the black part of me that factored into my embracing New Age,New Thought ideas at later age of almost 28 because of my cynicism in regards to race relations here in USA, experiencing racism as a "black" I think that also factored into my not being able to believe in Christianity.


I think that multiethnic heritage factored me into being open and exploring other religions,philosophies too.

Raymond

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GypseeWind
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posted October 19, 2009 09:54 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for GypseeWind     Edit/Delete Message
Well if we do, what the heck was I thinking?

But along the lines of what SunChild said, my son told me stories of his past life when he was just able to put sentences together.

He told me, "remember that time when you were my Mommy before, and we wived in Calithrornya, and we died cause we got shaked up too hard?"

Yeah, that one threw me. He also said he picked me to be his Mom. I asked him, "why did you pick me?" and he said, "because you were nice and you had pretty hair."

This was not the kind of conversation that was normal around the house, so, you have to wonder, I mean he was LITTLE. When I ask him about it now, he says he doesn't remember anymore.

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koiflower
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posted October 19, 2009 10:29 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for koiflower     Edit/Delete Message
You may be onto something, Glaucus. It's hard to be feel liberated when you are/have been downtrodden.

I'm beginning to believe embracing New Age knowledge is something to do with tuning into vibration. If someone is distracted/abused/participating in worldy challenges (sins?) then they won't, as easily, tune into the true vibration, that is, the power of the Universe.

That's my 1 or 2 cent thought!

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Valus
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posted October 19, 2009 11:09 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Valus     Edit/Delete Message

I've heard lots of stories like the one SunChild recounts, and although I can imagine a number of possible explanations (apart from the literal one), I am inclined to believe that we do reincarnate, and that we tend to share close relationships with the same souls; i.e., your mother may have been your brother or a close friend or spouse, etc. These stories always interest me, but they dont have anything to do with the question I'm posing in this thread, which is whether or not we have any conscious choice in the matter, and, if we do have some choice, to what extent do we have choice. Is there a set curriculum? Do we choose when to learn certain lessons? Can we postpone them, or neglect them, or bypass and transcend them entirely? Are we all ultimately trying to learn the same curriculum, the ultimate curriculum, in order to merge with the Godhead? Or are we creating ourselves as unique individuals, by choosing only the experiences and lessons that will produce a certain kind of soul? Or both, somehow? Who claims to have answered these questions, and what evidence, if any, do they put forward in support of their claim?

quote:
He also said he picked me to be his Mom. I asked him, "why did you pick me?" and he said, "because you were nice and you had pretty hair."

This is interesting, Gypsee, and right on topic. It sounds as if the choice was not made according to any higher spiritual vantage point accorded to the disincarnated soul. He just thought you were nice and liked your hair. Still, one wonders if he must have attained to a rare degree of clarity in order to choose you for your kindness. But there are so many questions. Why would someone choose an unkind mother? Out of some blindness, lack of soul development, or, perhaps, in some cases, in order to endure it and become strong, and/or to help the mother learn to be kinder. I recall a Buddhist teaching that says we see people having sex and we are born to the couple that attracts us, somehow. That might "explain" the pretty hair comment.

Lots to wonder about. Thanks.


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GypseeWind
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posted October 20, 2009 05:38 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for GypseeWind     Edit/Delete Message
Perhaps one would chose an unkind mother because they were unkind to that soul in another life and they wish to balance out that karma, or atone for it.

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Valus
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posted October 20, 2009 12:03 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Valus     Edit/Delete Message

Yes.

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pire
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posted October 20, 2009 12:46 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for pire     Edit/Delete Message
"Who claims to have answered these questions, and what evidence, if any, do they put forward in support of their claim?"

me, but why would i share? and why would i put evidence forward?

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katatonic
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posted October 20, 2009 01:03 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for katatonic     Edit/Delete Message
i think you need to make a distinction between the soul's conscious choosing of parents and the CURRENT CHILD's explanation. of course he is going to explain it in terms that fit his present-day age and mentality.

just because he remembers (and congrats, gypsee, for giving him the space to still remember at 7, many don't!) doesn't mean he is going to explain it in terms appropriate to an immortal soul...after all we develop on this plane in a very human way, and what memories we do have tend to be patchy at best...

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Yin
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posted October 20, 2009 02:49 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Yin     Edit/Delete Message
pire, pretty please? I would love to hear what you have to say about this. Please?

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Valus
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posted October 20, 2009 04:12 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Valus     Edit/Delete Message
quote:
why would i share?

Evidently, you wouldn't.

But the people who do share
usually do it because they care
about truth and want to promote it.

quote:
and why would i put evidence forward?

Evidently, you wouldn't.

But the people who do put evidence forward
generally do it because they don't expect
their words to be accepted without reason.

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Valus
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posted October 20, 2009 04:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Valus     Edit/Delete Message

Good point, katatonic.

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Dervish
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posted October 21, 2009 04:09 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dervish     Edit/Delete Message
I've had an interesting experience in my life that has made me wonder if it wasn't "planned out beforehand."

VERY short & sweet, by the time I was 15, I came to falsely believe that I couldn't stay with Granny (well technically, I was forbidden by the courts, but I didn't yet realize that they didn't actually give a damn if I obeyed their edicts or not as long as no one made an issue of it) and in an increasingly intolerable sitch that was dawning into true horror. So I left, running away from home under a false name and altered appearance at 16.

Within a couple of weeks (certainly no more than 3), I made it to an area in the far northern part of California (I mean REAL Northern California close to Oregon rather than the Bay Area, at least until it actually secedes to become Jefferson) where I hopped house to house with stoners, deadheads, and the like where my presence wasn't questioned. But I eventually trusted the wrong person which was traumatic and after I escaped, I wanted to get out of the area before the one who imprisoned me realized I was gone, because I'd be a major loose end.

The obvious course was to head south because that's where the nearest town was, the way the most traffic went, and my original plan had been to make it to Los Angeles anyway, and who wants to head north when homeless and winter approaching? But realizing my captor would realize this, I headed North, because surprise & the unexpected have repeatedly served me well. My goal--a reasonable one as long as I was able to thumb a ride--was to make it to Oregon by sundown. (No, I couldn't go to the police or the hospital because they'd send me back to what I'd run away from in the first place, which was worse than rape & murder--and yes, I know what I say when I say that).

I caught a ride but that ended in a small town a few miles south of the Oregon border. Because it was late, I decided to go the beach looking for a beach party in hopes of catching a ride, or at least a place to stay for the night. But the beaches were quiet. Luckily, a scary-looking guy found me and brought his aunt over to meet me who gave me a place and a temporary shelter became a living arrangement and my entire life changed. (She, btw, also first introduced me to Linda Goodman's books. She's visited this site before, too, though I don't think she ever posted here, and she only rarely surfs the net.)

And she became a mother figure to me. To this day, I send her the mother's day card. She feels I'm her daughter, the child she never had, and I really feel like she IS my mom, the one I would've chosen. Through very unlikely (and sometimes traumatic) circumstances, the impossibility of us finding each other and forming that bond became possible and then a reality.

And the interesting thing to me? She made a conscious choice to never have children long ago because life seemed far too cruel to her. So if I WAS meant to be her child, then I couldn't have been born from her. But given the incredible amount of circumstances that came into play, I did end up living with her and we're still in touch and we still visit one another from time to time. And I wonder...was so much of what happened just to get us together, because we were MEANT to be together, despite her successful resolve to never give birth?

I don't know. But if our meeting & bonding was blind chance, then I can honestly say that if some genie were to come to me and say, "You get one major boon in your life, and you've already had yours...but I can change it so that she is no longer part of your life and instead you get to win the multimillion lotto," I'd turn down the lotto in a heartbeat. She's one in a million, and I believe our chances of even have met, let alone bonding, were even less than that when I first awoke in this world.

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shura
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posted October 21, 2009 04:11 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for shura     Edit/Delete Message
quote:
of course he is going to explain it in terms that fit his present-day age and mentality.

Yes, kat, absolutely essential point. Also one which maybe should be considered by those adults who have experienced some past life recall? Everything goes through the filter.

Choosing your parents is a staggeringly momentous decision. Incarnate or not, I don't think I could be fully trusted with that sort of thing. I'll leave it to beings higher than myself.

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koiflower
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posted October 21, 2009 05:02 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for koiflower     Edit/Delete Message
Dervish - awesome tale! You've had a colourful existence!!!

I met a colleague a year ago and helped her out. Then luckily, she returned and I worked with her once again. We clicked and I really admired her attitude at work. She went back to her home country and in the meantime, I didn't realise she had done something really nice for me, that turned up today!!!

The unbelievable irony is, that it supports and strengthens an issue I'm dealing with tomorrow!!

Isn't that empowering?! A person turns up at the right time to offer a hand that changes your life!!!!

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shura
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posted October 21, 2009 10:17 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for shura     Edit/Delete Message
dervish ~ you have the most incredible stories to tell. i've been listening with sincere interest since you first graced the board.

petition to start a dervish forum wherein we may all gather around the lindaland hearth, while dervish regales us with a detailed history of her past exploits and adventures!

signed!!!

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Valus
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posted October 21, 2009 11:35 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Valus     Edit/Delete Message

I agree, Dervish has great stories,
and they deserve a forum, or, at least,
a thread of their own.


Meanwhile,
back on topic:


Katatonic,

This is fascinating:
http://www.spiritualregression.org/

"'Life Between Lives' is a way of describing the state in the afterlife between incarnations. Dr Michael Newton first discovered the state when regressing a client who had expressed her loneliness in this life and wanted to have answers as to why she felt this way. Michael gave a simple command in hypnosis and the client unexpectedly connected with her memories of life as a soul.

This was a surprising turn of events and as his client began to see what was going on around her (in the memory she had connected with) she was able to distinguish her soul friends and family who were waiting for her in the spirit world. She was able, with Dr Newton's help, to find out why she was having a lonely existance on earth - her soul friends were not with her during this incarnation. It transpired that this decision was planned by her (and her guide) to help her learn how to become more independent and learn to cope with earth's challenges without the support of her soul companions.

This experience lead Dr Newton to undertake extensive research into the life between lives. He soon realized that deep within we carry the memories of our lives as souls, the life between lives, but that accessing these memories would require a deep level of trance and great technical expertise on the part of the hypnotherapist that could only be achieved with a high level of skill, an extensively developed technique and the use of key hypnotic processes.

Dr Newton regressed over 7000 clients to the life between lives state during his career and has written three bestselling books which have given the public an understanding of the spirit world never before seen in print. The great strength of the books is that they are based on the experiences of many, many individuals, from all walks of life and so provide a model of the spirit world which has real authority."


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katatonic
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posted October 21, 2009 02:45 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for katatonic     Edit/Delete Message
as to choosing abusive or difficult parents, i don't so much believe we do it to "balance' that we were mean to THEM in another life. i think karma is much more of a "choice" than that...

but we may have had several lives with supportive parents and decide to experience that lack of support, or addition of abuse, to give us a better perspective, to make us stronger, to practice unconditional love...i don't know.

i do know that my mother and my little sister consider my father's temper to have been abusive, but i never experienced it that way. that HE was emotionally/verbally abused by HIS crazy mother is a fact. he had a terribly short fuse and when he went off it was always longer than it needed to be for the message he was trying to relate. but for some reason though the sheer volume would make me turn off to a degree, i never took it personally. and later when i was old enough and he had gained a little self-knowledge re his demons, he explained his outbursts in a way that made me realize it was HIMSELF he was upset with and his great love for us was trying to protect us from his own previous failings...

so i think I chose him to teach me inner strength and unconditional love. whereas my sister, who went on to become first a depressive and then a psych nurse, seems to have chosen him to give her insight into other people's problems (though i'm just guessing on that one) and to experience victimhood in her own life...

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Valus
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posted October 21, 2009 03:42 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Valus     Edit/Delete Message

Interesting.

About the choice issue... I have to think that, no matter how much freedom of choice we are given, ultimately, there is a necessity to choose, and our choices are relatively limited. And if we desire something which is not permitted to us, then whatever choice we are permitted to make will not be free, but compulsory. In other words, if we were truly free, we would choose to be gods. But if there are lessons we must learn, there are chains we must break. We are not free. This, of course, doesn't even touch upon the metaphysical paradox of determinism and free will.

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