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Author
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Topic: I need a hug
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Dy-na-mi-tee
Knowflake Posts: 384
From: Cloud 22, Jupiter Ave, Lalaland
Registered: Jun 2010
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posted July 18, 2010 11:15 AM
 
I am extremely drained and upset. I have helped a person for so many days and so many hours. I have talked through so many issues and so many things. And now I'm tired - I want to take a break so I can breathe and mind my own life for a while.. and what do I get?  Nasty comments. I am really sickened. I spent hours and hours trying to help - to understand - to listen - I literally feel like crying. I just feel disgusted.
I can't believe I was such an idiot.. to spend all this time thinking this person was kind and genuine. What kind of ..
oh man
I won't even. I'm going to bed. I am seriously upset. I have never met someone like this. IP: Logged |
Dy-na-mi-tee
Knowflake Posts: 384
From: Cloud 22, Jupiter Ave, Lalaland
Registered: Jun 2010
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posted July 18, 2010 11:18 AM
For you to turn around and say what you said Ami - simply because I deleted my email (two days after I explained to you that I want a break) -- for you to say those things to me..And all of the TIME and CARE and listening and advice that I have tried to PUT in for MONTHSSSS.. means NOTHING (because you have suddenly decided I have betrayed you and you ignore me and ignore my posts - and you do not have an ounce of HONESTY to stand up and be CLEAR and say things to my face -- and you want me to "respect" that?). I just canNOT believe some people. Do you think I am a robot Ami? Do you think I am made out of artifical material.. That I have no life of my own? I am DRAINED. I am not betraying you. I simply needed space for a WHILE. IP: Logged |
LEXX
Moderator Posts: 1931
From: Still out looking for Schrödinger's cat.........& LEXIGRAMMING... is my Passion!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 18, 2010 11:23 AM
Don't know what is going on but 
to all here.  ------------------
Everyone is a teacher...
Everyone is a student...
Learning is eternal.
~Everyone is
gifted. Some simply open the package sooner~
}><}}(*>
.☆¨¯`♥ ¸.☆¨¯`♥ ¸.☆¨¯`♥ IP: Logged |
Dy-na-mi-tee
Knowflake Posts: 384
From: Cloud 22, Jupiter Ave, Lalaland
Registered: Jun 2010
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posted July 18, 2010 11:32 AM
 LEXXWhat is going on is that I spent months talking to this person through email and earlier through msn and genuinely trying to help her with all of her problems. And now that I am tired because I have too much to do and I have said I was taking a break - she was seemingly OK with that. But when I deleted my email - she apparently felt "betrayed".. But instead of checking *why* or discussing this with me - she decided to ignore my posts and send me a nasty undercover message about betraying her. And I feel that is unacceptable and I am genuinely very upset about it. I was not even sure this was the case.. but the fact that Ami gave me the "Please respect my silence" line.. which she does when there is something to hide - what was that about if it was not an indirect admittance? I am a REAL person and I have REAL happiness and REAL pain and REAL problems and REAL joys. I am just sitting here shaking my head -- at the late nights I was up helping her. I can't believe I did that. Why didn't I sleep? One thing happens that bothers her - and she is ragging me and ignoring me.. instead of at least clarifying. IP: Logged |
Dy-na-mi-tee
Knowflake Posts: 384
From: Cloud 22, Jupiter Ave, Lalaland
Registered: Jun 2010
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posted July 18, 2010 11:37 AM
And now she is hiding and she refuses to reply to either of these threads which is actually much more upsetting than the initial comment itself. Ami - if you at least clarified or explained.. but "no".. Why? Because it is a public forum. But apparently it is OK to take an indirect STAB at me on this same public forum right? But you want me to RESPECT you now when you disrespected me? Dignity - Character and Human DECENCY to me lie in an ability to stand UP and recognize certain things and be honest. If you cannot reply to any of these concerns I have.. If you are completely disinterested in how bad you made me feel tonight, then obviously you don't give two cents - and obviously I wasted a lot of friendship and time and effort on a person who simply doesn't give a damn. IP: Logged |
Dy-na-mi-tee
Knowflake Posts: 384
From: Cloud 22, Jupiter Ave, Lalaland
Registered: Jun 2010
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posted July 18, 2010 11:39 AM
And protecting a false image on a public forum with comments like "Please respect my silence" does NOT equal DIGNITY.That is not dignity. That is BS. Pure and simple. IP: Logged |
MysticMelody
Moderator Posts: 773
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 18, 2010 12:24 PM
D, I hope you take some time for yourself today. Please set yourself up on the couch with soft pillows, a warm drink, and some comfort foods and relax and enjoy a good chick flick and a comedy and later something uplifting. Relax your mind and avoid rehashing the stress in your mind over and over so you can have a break. Watch an old favorite. Eat noodles or mashed potatoes and drink cocoa or tea. I am going to do the same. I love you, LL gf.
You ARE drained because if not, the behavior of someone who is drained themselves would not bother you as much. Please don't combust. Relax, breathe, take YOUR time right now. Your couch should also have a fashion magazine and some polish for your toe-nails near by. Relax and give to YOU.
IP: Logged |
eskimono
Knowflake Posts: 482
From: uk
Registered: Dec 2009
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posted July 18, 2010 12:37 PM
You do sound like you need a hug. I am squeezing really hard.....(((  )))It takes a lot of energy to really be there for someone, and that can start to take its toll when you have little energy left for yourself. IP: Logged |
eskimono
Knowflake Posts: 482
From: uk
Registered: Dec 2009
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posted July 18, 2010 12:40 PM
ps - I am not as clever as Lexx, I don't know how to send hugs, so I improvised!IP: Logged |
T
Knowflake Posts: 2330
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 18, 2010 01:47 PM
((((hugs))))IP: Logged |
katatonic
Knowflake Posts: 4501
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 18, 2010 02:30 PM
hugs to you dear lady. sometimes we can try too hard to help those who won't try to help themselves. chalk it up to experience, have a bubble bath or whatever lifts you when blue, and if i were you i would take a VERY LONG break. if not permanent.  IP: Logged |
Benedict Moon*
Knowflake Posts: 950
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted July 18, 2010 02:34 PM
Yes, go to sleep, eat some comfort foods, go shopping, take a Spa Day, etc. All the things I do when I've felt this way. 
The same thing happens to me when the Hospital decides to make me psych nanny (sitting for patients with all kinds of psychological issues). I leave work in morning feeling positively depleted. I won't get into the middle of whatever is going on between you and the other person, but perhaps be careful? I know you have a Cancer Ascendant and some neptune so its easy to end up in these situations. I have a Cancer Stellium and a ton of Neptune and can't avoid them. 
IP: Logged |
Benedict Moon*
Knowflake Posts: 950
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted July 18, 2010 02:37 PM
*DPIP: Logged |
AbsintheDragonfly
Moderator Posts: 831
From: Gaia
Registered: Apr 2010
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posted July 18, 2010 02:43 PM
Dynamitee,Huge Hugs (((****))) Huge Love Take some breather time. Take care of yourself. It will work out, in whatever means it is supposed to. IP: Logged |
Musette
Knowflake Posts: 279
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted July 18, 2010 02:48 PM
*Hugs* both Dy-na-mi-tee and VaporLash... And anybody else ya got there, missy!  I don't know the full scope of what's going on, but it seems like something that won't get resolved today, which is okay as maybe some time away from the situation will be helpful in diffusing things. I hope you can tend to yourself right now and take a long bubble bath, drink some hot tea (or some cold tea depending on how well your air conditioner is holding up!), reread a favorite book, watch a silly tv show, or whatever will let you relax. Stress will really zap you out quickly, so be sure you're getting enough rest and relaxation so you can handle the important things on your plate. *Extra hugs* IP: Logged |
starkiss1
Knowflake Posts: 1008
From:
Registered: Jul 2009
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posted July 18, 2010 03:32 PM
IP: Logged |
Lara
Knowflake Posts: 4253
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 18, 2010 09:11 PM
Awwww I hate to hear you so cut up I'm sorry for your realisation and I empathise having been there with people in the past and it's really deeply hurtful when they stab you so I'm sending you a BIG HUG and I agree with Katatonic. Always remember dynamitee that whilst others like to live in constant negativity, you always reach up to the sunshine and light with your personality. It's infectious and negative vampires love to drain you to make themselves feel better. Very sad and sadly true Give yourself a hug and be proud of yourself for always being unafraid to be YOU. X IP: Logged |
Lara
Knowflake Posts: 4253
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 18, 2010 09:13 PM
Awwww I hate to hear you so cut up I'm sorry for your realisation and I empathise having been there with people in the past and it's really deeply hurtful when they stab you so I'm sending you a BIG HUG and I agree with Katatonic. Always remember dynamitee that whilst others like to live in constant negativity, you always reach up to the sunshine and light with your personality. It's infectious and negative vampires love to drain you to make themselves feel better. Very sad and sadly true Give yourself a hug and be proud of yourself for always being unafraid to be YOU. X IP: Logged |
Lara
Knowflake Posts: 4253
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 18, 2010 09:14 PM
Awwww I hate to hear you so cut up I'm sorry for your realisation and I empathise having been there with people in the past and it's really deeply hurtful when they stab you so I'm sending you a BIG HUG and I agree with Katatonic. Always remember dynamitee that whilst others like to live in constant negativity, you always reach up to the sunshine and light with your personality. It's infectious and negative vampires love to drain you to make themselves feel better. Very sad and sadly true Give yourself a hug and be proud of yourself for always being unafraid to be YOU. X IP: Logged |
katatonic
Knowflake Posts: 4501
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 18, 2010 10:25 PM
i was just wondering where lara was and here she is - with a triple bang lol.what's your favourite comfort routine, dyna?? IP: Logged |
Dy-na-mi-tee
Knowflake Posts: 384
From: Cloud 22, Jupiter Ave, Lalaland
Registered: Jun 2010
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posted July 18, 2010 10:36 PM
All of your words mean so much to me. Thank you for your help and your warmth and for your hugs LEXX, Mystic Melody, eskimono, T, katatonic, Benedict, AbsinthDragon, Mussette, starkiss, Lara Mystic Melody I will try to do that today because I am just drained. You are right that I need some time to myself. It really means a lot to me that you guys care - because I was (and yes I still am) seriously upset. Perhaps this seems like an exaggeration from the outside.. but I would like to just ask you to think for a second if you were online on LL.. carrying on as usual - and someone directed the following post at you - how you would feel. quote:
I had a dream a few nights ago. I woke up crying.
I just figured out what it meant. It was about betrayal.
MY betrayal of two people(one was an animal) I loved.
My Standard Poodle was playing with a puppy. She was having so much fun. She was old and skinny.
Then, her hip collapsed and she fell.
She was lying on the stretcher and she looked at me but it was with surprise "Mama --you CAME"--like I wouldn't and she was surprised.
Then, her face turned in to my son's face and it said "It's Ok, It's Ok, I forgive you."
Someone recently betrayed me. I am angry but I think human beings hurt each other. It is the nature of being real in life.
I want to be real.Maybe,if I were fake, I could get more people to like me but I would rather be real and lose everyone.
Because it was not just the betrayal comment. This situation was put on PAR with the death of Ami's son. :edit: I need to mention this one more time. I did not have any kind of argument with Ami. I did literally NOTHING to Ami at all - other than to say to her that I need a break from emailing and later deleting this email address. :edit: That is absolute emotional harassment and blackmail from my perspective.. and there has still been no clarification. It would have been extremely simple for this person to say "No. Complete misunderstanding - it was not about you." - if that was the case. There is nothing "private" in that sentence. So I have reasons to believe based on their reaction and also based on overall knowledge of their personality - that it was directed at me. I can't be ok with this. This went too far from my perspective and I genuinely feel that if I did not bring this up - it would have continued and I would have seen comments such as these on LL - several times. This is not a joke to me. It was not a simple "insult". Anyway - I can let this go.. I CAN relax.. I will relax but I am genuinely hurt. IP: Logged |
Dy-na-mi-tee
Knowflake Posts: 384
From: Cloud 22, Jupiter Ave, Lalaland
Registered: Jun 2010
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posted July 18, 2010 10:39 PM
katatonic - I will just have a warm bath and try to focus on the man I am in love with.. I'm not sure what else to do right now. IP: Logged |
LEXX
Moderator Posts: 1931
From: Still out looking for Schrödinger's cat.........& LEXIGRAMMING... is my Passion!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 19, 2010 12:18 AM
Dy-na-mi-tee
I left you a long reply at A2 but seems that thread was deleted. 
Suffice it to say, I understand and know what it feels like having experienced such because during two strokes I had, when I needed a couple times out, but certain "friends" became angry and hateful instead of caring that I was in a serious position, and could have died.....and simply was not up to dealing with anyone's problems at those times, but needed to focus on myself...(the second episode most likely caused by the stress I had endured)
Well, I understand too well how it feels. So focus on YOU and get to feeling better and do not stress yourself into an unhealthy depressed frenzy like I did.
Take care of YOU! ------------------
Everyone is a teacher...
Everyone is a student...
Learning is eternal.
~Everyone is
gifted. Some simply open the package sooner~
}><}}(*>
.☆¨¯`♥ ¸.☆¨¯`♥ ¸.☆¨¯`♥ IP: Logged |
Cynnared
Knowflake Posts: 522
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 19, 2010 02:25 AM
HUG - Take care of YOU!thoughts here! IP: Logged |
PeaceAngel
Knowflake Posts: 3906
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 19, 2010 04:00 AM
I can't say any different to what's already been said, particularly Musette's first sentence. For you:  ps - I'm the one with the wide you know what. IP: Logged |
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