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Author Topic:   I may have missed the action, but that won't stop me from having an opinion.
jane
Knowflake

Posts: 1276
From:
Registered: Jul 2009

posted November 29, 2010 05:17 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for jane     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I missed this month's dramas as they were occurring, but I've tried to get a sense of what went down by reading old threads.

I think LL needs a Venting Forum. People can go there - w/o threat of banning - and have their say. Freely. Interested listeners, if so inclined, could even take turns as Guides to keep the arguing coherent. (Guideship would be self-appointed.) Since these dialogues tend to last, we'd probably need several Guides tag-teaming one thread.

We can call it "Outside," as in "take it Outside." I'm sure we could put some Linda Goodman twist on the name.

Anyone into gambling would have a blast betting how long arguments will drag on.

This comes up so often here, people not feeling heard. So why not have a place where they can vent w/o penalty?

Anyone really vile & insane will face the social punishment of people not wanting to interact with them on other forums. And if they bring their "ban-able" words/behavior from the Venting Forum into another forum, then they can be banned.

I suppose we could as a community come up with some behavior that's ban-worthy even when "Outside." My suggestions for what's off-limits: Anything criminal, hateful spam, and links to Miley Cyrus videos. And hopefully people would be classy enough to directly address people they have a specific problem with in their thread title (as in, "You're too sexy, jane" or "You're too deluded, jane" ). That way there can be a dialogue, rather than a hurtful discussion about that person. But other than that, let it be free! We're a smart, good-hearted group here (for the most part). I think we'll do a decent job constructing our own social rules in this one forum, if given the chance. And that should carry over to contented self-monitoring in other forums.

It's a bit 8th housey. Are we strong enough?

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jane
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posted November 29, 2010 05:17 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for jane     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
.

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NickiG
Moderator

Posts: 2056
From: Pluto, next to Ami Ann
Registered: Jul 2010

posted November 29, 2010 05:23 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for NickiG     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:

"and links to Miley Cyrus video"



agreed

------------------
the better the chase, the better the reward

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teasel
Knowflake

Posts: 2713
From: Ohio
Registered: Apr 2009

posted November 29, 2010 05:26 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for teasel     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
at Miley cyrus videos. I've never seen her in action, but I keep hearing about her.

I suggested a similar forum, six years ago (early 2004), after seeing such a forum on another board, but Randall said no. (I don't think it was for issues between members, though - it was for venting in general.)

(I've just noticed the new 'quote' button at the top of posts. )

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Betty Boop
Knowflake

Posts: 341
From: Betty Boop Land
Registered: Sep 2010

posted November 29, 2010 05:52 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Betty Boop     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I love this idea... I think Jane and I should moderate it - Just in case someone attacks Miley.. otherwise -anything goes!- lol

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pire
Knowflake

Posts: 1615
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posted November 29, 2010 06:16 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for pire     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by teasel:
at Miley cyrus videos. I've never seen her in action, but I keep hearing about her.

I suggested a similar forum, six years ago (early 2004), after seeing such a forum on another board, but Randall said no. (I don't think it was for issues between members, though - it was for venting in general.)

(I've just noticed the new 'quote' button at the top of posts. )


super technology (I just wanted to try it)

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Ami Anne
Moderator

Posts: 3764
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted November 29, 2010 06:16 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
A forum for arguing sounds horrible to me.
After arguments are over, it is SO nice.
I would hate the feeling that constant arguments were there.
However, maybe some people would see it as more of a debate.
*I* would not like it myself, at all.
Dissension makes me very upset.

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It is either a lesson or a blessing ,Bruh.

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AcousticGod
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From: Pleasanton, CA
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posted November 29, 2010 06:22 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for AcousticGod     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'll moderate it.

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teasel
Knowflake

Posts: 2713
From: Ohio
Registered: Apr 2009

posted November 29, 2010 06:25 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for teasel     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by pire:
super technology (I just wanted to try it)

What, the quote button? *edit. Oops, it automatically makes things bold. (This is new, isn't it? I haven't just missed it over the past, oh.. eight years? )

It was either 2004, or 2006, when a man here was very unhappy, and I made the suggestion; I know we had the LL group at MSN, at the time, but I can't remember what his name was.

Ami, I think that's what Randall's concern was at the time: constant tension/turmoil bringing down the energy of the place. But Jane was talking a place for people to talk things out, I think; not really endorsing constant fights.

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Randall
Webmaster

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From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: Apr 2009

posted November 29, 2010 06:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
We only have one big blow-up every couple of years here. Then the site grows a bit soon after. Then the vibe gets rather high again. Things had gotten quiet two or three weeks ago, so I knew to batton down the hatches, because like the past has indicated, a storm was brewing.

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Ami Anne
Moderator

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From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
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posted November 29, 2010 06:41 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I would not want a forum like that but that would just be my personal opinion.

------------------
It is either a lesson or a blessing ,Bruh.

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letram
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posted November 29, 2010 06:43 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for letram     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
i agree with the part that we should have a forum where everyone can have their say and opinion.

i disagree tollerating behaviour that is alienating to the degree of insult and offensive comments or replies.

i dont think LL should have a playground where everyone can behave as bad children and not get in trouble for it.

we should be responsible for what we say, and not use "i want to be heard, my opinion" as an excuse for trouble orientated behaviour.

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PeaceAngel
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posted November 29, 2010 09:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for PeaceAngel     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm not sure that wanting to be "heard" is so much the problem as wanting to be "understood" or often "right". There's no right or wrong with opinions, it's very much each to their own. It's just that sometimes people have a problem with what doesn't fit with their own.

I think there is avenue at LL to be heard - everytime someone posts. It's how it's said that can be problematic. There's different ways to say things.

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letram
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posted November 29, 2010 10:40 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for letram     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
i think the problem lies in that people have to boil down to insults, sometimes subliminal and whatnot, but enough for the other person to be insulted and offended unfairly, before two can maturely agree to disagree, or even more maturely - walk away. and hold on to their own opinions securely inside.if you believei n something so securely, you won't need to spend 20 replies trying to prove another wrong.

and thats exactly what i don't think we should make a forum for to tollerate. the opinion and having your say being heard part, yes. insults and trouble tolleration,no.

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MysticMelody
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posted November 29, 2010 10:43 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MysticMelody     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I was totally going to post a Miley Cyrus video just to be a rebel. Then I watched one.
And threw up in my mouth.
I would just like to apologize for even thinking of treating you all that way.
I'm really sorry.
I hope you forgive me... some day.

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jane
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posted November 29, 2010 11:26 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for jane     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
About fearing the tone would be insulting...

Are we really only "good" because of fear of being banned? I find freedom reveals a person's true character more than it incites him to degrade his character by stooping to disgusting behavior. If he does the latter, wouldn't you rather know who he really is at heart than forge any bond with his front?

Banning isn't the only consequence. There are social ones. Everyone would see who is scum and who is not. Scumbags would be informally banned (from non-scumbags' hearts ).

Since these feuds are ones that typically don't end in agreement, the only justice people are going to get is the chance to have their say. Maybe they stand alone, but they had the chance to stand there and not be squashed. I think the opportunity to do this would expedite these fights' deaths.

Plus, I think when people feel free to construct their own ethical code during an argument, they'll, more often than not, behave better than when one's imposed on them. That sense of freedom gives a sense of ownership. And the ones who do behave too sh1tty will be despised by the sane people, so ignored, which will cause their egos to wither up to microscopic proportions, until they fade from this site altogether. Or not. This would be a fun experiment though, I think!

But yes, I do think there should be a few ground rules in that type of forum. Besides the ones I mentioned in my 1st post, I think people should be restricted to opening only one thread per disagreement.

And it wouldn't just be a place to vent our problems within the LL community. We could vent about anything bugging us in life, like these guys. (Warning: here be curses.)

Perhaps the forum should include "Karma" in the name, just to remind us that there's always a price, even when we're "free."

How about The Young & The Karmic since we're so good at drama? PA, you're good at computers, right? Maybe we could all send you a photo and you can create a cheesy soap-opera intro to that forum.

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jane
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posted November 29, 2010 11:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for jane     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by MysticMelody:
I was totally going to post a Miley Cyrus video just to be a rebel. Then I watched one.
And threw up in my mouth.

See! Instant karma!

I heard if you say her name 6 times during a thunderstorm, Satan impregnates you!

I can't speak for anyone else, but I can say that although I forgive you, I'm still gonna give you a few lashes. Just cuz it's fun.


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jane
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posted November 29, 2010 11:41 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for jane     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Oh, and the Venting Forum should regularly be inundated with nature photos. This will plant the subliminal message in our brains to turn off the computer and take a walk or something.

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PeaceAngel
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posted November 30, 2010 01:18 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for PeaceAngel     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
PA, you're good at computers, right? Maybe we could all send you a photo and you can create a cheesy soap-opera intro to that forum.[/B]

Of course, the ensuing soap-operatic events will need to occur. I think we should start with us marrying. Over time you can reveal to me how many Knowflakes you've been married to before (and how many times), how many are your long lost brothers and sisters (and how many you've had sex with), and the identities of your love children (and how many of your previous marital partners are now married to them).

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Betty Boop
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From: Betty Boop Land
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posted November 30, 2010 01:39 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Betty Boop     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Jane - Sei cozi divertente! Grazie per essere tu

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woah cakes
Knowflake

Posts: 300
From: canada
Registered: Oct 2010

posted November 30, 2010 01:47 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for woah cakes     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, and YES. jane knows what she's talkin about.

probably.

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AcousticGod
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From: Pleasanton, CA
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posted November 30, 2010 01:47 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for AcousticGod     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I endorse Jane's theory and plan. People are held to account moderated or not.

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PeaceAngel
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posted November 30, 2010 01:54 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for PeaceAngel     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I note that jane is yet to reply, AG. I take it she's run off with Miley. Leaving me at the altar.

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Crona
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posted November 30, 2010 02:03 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Crona     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I want to say I am Cheshire Kat for any suspicions X_X;.

I changed my nick and decided to move from Wonderland permanately.

I apologise for posting it here, but my brain and hands are having difficulty making a new thread at the moment..~_~;

And this is where Crona came from:

It's my new favorite anime for the moment.

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PeaceAngel
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posted November 30, 2010 02:03 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for PeaceAngel     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I think such a forum would bring a lot of negativity to the site. I don't think these things can be contained in one forum. They'll seep out, somehow, spreading. All it takes is one link in another forum of "look what's happening here" to spread it across the boards. If Knowflakes have grievances with each other they can take it to email and deal with it privately. Or, ignore each other. If people have grievances about life, there's a multitude of forums to pick from where they can express them. This idea was thrown around when Randall asked for new forum suggestions way back when. Most people can self-moderate. For those who can't, moderators exist.

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