posted April 26, 2011 08:58 AM            

Did you read The World According to Garp? Is was so naughty back in the day.

posted April 26, 2011 09:23 AM            

I think many of the forums have drifted away from the association with Linda Goodman anyhow.

There's really only Oranges and Hyacinths, Universal Codes, and maybe Lexigrams (I don't really go there)that have any link to her.
And there are no arguments there as far as I can see.
Astrology sometimes.
But it's really on the so called "free for alls" such as Lindaland and Sweet Peas" where the fights happen.
So all I was suggesting, seeing as people are hell bent at the moment on taking umbrage over everything, that the
"You said this to me how dare you" and "I will scream until you get my point" and "I'm leaving and never coming back,s" should be confined to one area.

posted April 26, 2011 10:38 AM            

As for the current discussion

We, as adults, have three options:

action
reaction
non action

Exercise ones free will in choosing which action is detremental to positive participation and is to everyones benefit.

Action is participating and following the guide lines of the board.

Reaction is getting panties in a bunch over something that irks you.

Non action is as bunnies said
""Nope not for me" and never read any more from that thread.
It's that easy."

And indeed it is.

Be first responsible to your self and it will carry over to others .

posted April 26, 2011 10:55 AM            

quote:

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Be first responsible to your self and it will carry over to others .

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I wish ALL things in life had as simple a solution as what to read and what not

posted May 01, 2011 04:59 AM            

quote:

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I found it mildly amusing to see that the Freedom of Speech thread had been locked

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As far as the venting spleen goes though, bunnies, that's not quite what i meant. Because there is NO place for some of the viscous attacks i've seen on here. I just meant in order to clean the forum up restrict certain members (yes including the offending moderators) to a 'play area' section until they cool down or stop writing gibberish etc. (Which i know is what you basically meant). I'm sure with all the offenders in one section there WOULD be arguments etc - but it wasn't the intention to 'catalyse' it with this new section. Anyone who is regularly involved in overly personal, emotionally-charged arguments, or posts too much general rubbish is put in the sin bin (posting privelages resricted to this one section). Obviously the section would have to be moderated - of which i would gladly volunteer. We could call it the 'sin-bin', although i prefer the name play-area or lunatic asylum because they're more humourous and relevent, and the patronising connotations of being put in such an area might prevent people from behaving in certain ways on the main forum.
Just to add if the same behaviour continues in the asylum then they are banned without warning.

posted May 01, 2011 10:24 AM            

i think the line between being here, and being banned, makes the line too thin.

people still throw mild insults at one another and get away with it, but because they are stubborn about what they said not being a problem, they fight until they leave or get banned.

we shouldve just had a system where, no insults is allowed period.

if you insult mildy (idiot, etc) you should get a temporary ban from the site for 24 hours. and longer if it happens again, and constantly. but if the insults got worse, then a ban permanently, or if permenent isnt believed in here, then a ban for 6 months.

i bet it would change alot around here.

freedom of speech is a scape goat.

posted May 01, 2011 12:02 PM            

For me personally I find it quite strange that people can feel so strongly about people they have never met.
A while ago (and I honestly can't remember who, because that's how little it affected me)someone said after two posts I had made that they "didn't know, why but they got a bad vibe from me"
And I was like "Eh??? you don't even know me. We could walk past each other and you wouldn't know me"
Probably if asked to describe me they would be very wide of the mark.
The same as I make a point of NEVER criticising someone's character on here.
I may not agree with what they have written and I will say so but how can I judge someone who I have never met face to face?
Ridiculous to think I could.
On the Royal wedding thread some people were calling the Royals a bunch of scrounging, money wasting elitists whereas I was there with the champagne and a Union Jack hat.
Did I take it personally that they didn't think the way I did?
I submit that I did not!

posted May 01, 2011 12:33 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by letram:
i personally think, all of this fighting and minor insults stuff could be handled much better if there was a better system.

i think the line between being here, and being banned, makes the line too thin.

people still throw mild insults at one another and get away with it, but because they are stubborn about what they said not being a problem, they fight until they leave or get banned.

we shouldve just had a system where, no insults is allowed period.

if you insult mildy (idiot, etc) you should get a temporary ban from the site for 24 hours. and longer if it happens again, and constantly. but if the insults got worse, then a ban permanently, or if permenent isnt believed in here, then a ban for 6 months.

i bet it would change alot around here.

freedom of speech is a scape goat.

"freedom of speech" can be unnecessary by its definition here.

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I was actually on a Board like this,Letram Sweetie.
It was for people who had BPD in their families.
There were Moderators watching every grunt lol
If you even raised your eyebrows to a person(textually speaking), a Mod jumped in to diffuse what might have become a fight down the road a few posts ,later.
If you guys have ever been on a Board like this ,you will appreciate color cuz that Board was about as sterile as an operating room

posted May 01, 2011 12:43 PM            

i was on a forum for gamers, very popular, Big one.. (i used to be a big ol gamer) and there was alot of flaming, accusations, etc, they had this system in place, it was far from sterile, it just controlled behavior quite well. there would still be fights, but it actually had an impact on people's will to escalate things.

here its an option of do or die. there people took comfort in knowing they had chances, and they learned that actually, being banned from the site even for just a few days, really had a positive effect.

long term effect was, people wouldnt escalate it further, but on that site,calling people bad names was tolerated (like idiot) here, it would stop people calling each other bad names.

im not sure why you mention sterile, it seems like your position is that its not a good thing if this place was more "sterile" ?

the culture on the forum i was on, is very different to this one, people here have no need for personal slights, the reason most personal slights take place here, is over personal tensions between people and cliques, its not even to do with discussions about astrology or anything this website is really dedicated to.

its a stew of egos and slights that dont belong.

posted May 01, 2011 01:10 PM            

but it would help if you could explain to me, the difference between freedom of speech, and freedom of insult, without combining or mixing the two.

for me, i'm coming from a point of creating reasonable harmony.

i'd like you to clarify in good detail, exactly what rights you want, in this online community as far as freedom of speech goes. so i can understand what page you are on with it. your post is implying that freedom of speech should include freedom and right to insult others, like ethnic slurs?

im curious to know why you would desire that, may i ask you, do you go to work often in the everyday world? do you travel outside often on public transport, or public places?

when and if you do, do you appreciate people treating you politely in stores, or people you work with as colleagues, and do you value friendships and peace?

if you do live around lots of people, and travel on trains or busses, and go to public places often, do you received ethnic slurs often, if you do at all, do you appreciate them at all? can you be happy with that in your everyday life in public places, travel, when you just want peace and to have pleasantness in your day to day life?

the law in most lands it seems can't control anti social behavior as well as it would like. but if it could, it would surprise me none if there was a system to put people off from doing it, although most good people dont need o because they know better.

the internet is freedom of speech.

a owned, established internet community, is not a freedom of speech necessarily at all, its quite regulated, if you go to forums often, you will find regulation in the sign up you have to agree to before joining.

and in your day to day life, its not actually much different, outside your door, as an analogy, may be your internet access, but when you go to work, or into a store, or into public places, there isnt a "freedom of ____" there is rules always. the law tells me i cannot graffiti public places, and i can't say its a free world either.

posted May 01, 2011 01:20 PM            

another reason why I myself dont want it, and im sure i can speak for others alike to myself in this, is because we don't want trouble, we don't want to call people bad names and get banned, i fear some people here want to use freedom of speech as a reason to disrespect others and Never get banned. we treat others how we want to be treated.

a non civilized community is pre JFK with black people. i'd hate to feel like im in a world like that in any community, online or outside. pre JFK is like the definition here of "freedom of speech" and after JFK, is the regulated civilized community that america decided to strive for more.

posted May 01, 2011 01:34 PM            

i'm proud we can set by example, and show this community how two adults can behave civilized and maintain respect, while sharing different points of view.

thankyou.