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Author
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Topic: What turns you off in a lover
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Nightengale
unregistered
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posted July 26, 2003 09:11 PM
 
Lioneye: I totally agree with you on that. My life partner had a full head of hair when we were dating twenty-some-odd years ago, and over the years it seems to have slipped from his head to his back. I don't love him less because he has back hair,nor do I find it repulsive in anyway. On the contrary, it is a big turn on because I know it is a part of growing old, and that we are doing so together.  IP: Logged |
lioneye68
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posted July 26, 2003 10:39 PM
Aaaaaaww, Nightengale, that's NICE  I suppose you could dislike any particular aspect about someone, but that doesn't mean your heart can't love them still. God, I hope that's true because I'm sure not perfect either. Who am I to expect perfection in anyone else?
How would I feel if someone said "I'm sorry, I can't see you anymore. I've discovered a mole on your back, and I just HATE moles. Goodbye." I think I would a.) be too stunned to say anything b.) wonder how I didn't pick up their shallowness before c.) consider myself lucky to be rid of them before I got to attached. d.)pity them for being too superficial to ever experience true heartfelt joy (I mean the real kind, not the kind you feel when you discover an awesome shoe sale) e.) get a hand mirror and check out the mole on my back obsessively for the next week. Through it all, I would be hurt at how unfair that attitude is. Of course, one could have a mole removed, or back hair, so there's always hope if you just can't stand those things and your sweetie has them.
But is it REALLY necessary? IP: Logged |
ally
unregistered
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posted July 26, 2003 10:49 PM
Back hair is different than moles. Moles are tiny(even the 'large' ones) and back hair is . . . .hair. There's no comparison between the two. When I say back hair is disgusting,I mean tons of hair, as in practically covering one's whole back. I'm sorry,but that's gross. If I loved the person enough and they loved me,then. . . .we'd have fun waxing, but there's no way it'd stay there. IP: Logged |
hrj777
unregistered
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posted July 27, 2003 03:15 AM
The topic was "what turns you off in a lover". I didn't say that I am not capable of loving a man with back hair, of course my ability to love someone has nothing to do with how they look ... but when you say the word "lover", I assume it is a sexual reference. I am not physically attracted to a man with back hair ... I don't care if it's Johnny Depp or Brad Pitt. Some men are not attracted to women with hairy armpits and legs. I don't find a hairy back attractive unless that back belongs to something with four legs, hooves, a mane and tail ... or paws and whiskers. Love and Light, Heidi  IP: Logged |
jason from oz
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posted July 27, 2003 10:47 AM
Well this will sound funny but I'm the opposite, I love back hair, and when I was younger it (and arse hair) were my number one criterias for picking a guy. I have been with smooth guys since and I'ts fine(aslong as theres a bit of stockiness involved, actually skinny and hairy is gross) ,but sometimes feel like it would be dissapointing to spend the rest of my life with a smooth guy and never get to feel that naughty hairy arse again!. Spanky,spanky!!IP: Logged |
ally
unregistered
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posted July 27, 2003 10:57 AM
" hairy arse"? Oh my gosh.IP: Logged |
sthenri
unregistered
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posted July 27, 2003 11:41 AM
Jason you are so funny. Spanky Spanky?
Well, I agree that skinny and hairy doesn't sound appealing, especially naked, but it's all in how you look at things. It's about the available options, some look better than others because it's all relative. Even coffee has a thousand options, right? Nobody wants black coffee right?
Sometimes a person is willing to add or remove options just for you. Maybe they are only black coffee but they are willing to mix it up. Put some whipped cream on it, and it's a whole new deal.My Libra promised to do a lot of things at the start, some of which have come true. It was the delivery, how he listed all the options he could come with if I wanted, he would simply list all the things he could do to make me happy and watch my reaction. They all sounded so good, I bought the entire package. He has a Gemini moon and rising so he is full of new surprises everyday. He couldn't be the same if he tried. I think if more couples tried hard to change things around, the little things wouldn't be such a pain. If he wants me to be a cowgirl, I'm a cowgirl, if he wants me to ballroom dance, I'll ballroom dance, keeps things moving. It's when you are stuck with someone who will not change no matter what, that's when it's unappealing. My thoughts, Natasha IP: Logged |
Nightengale
unregistered
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posted July 27, 2003 01:36 PM
I like my coffee black...IP: Logged |
N_wEvil
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posted July 27, 2003 01:38 PM
..and with a spoon in it?IP: Logged |
Nightengale
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posted July 27, 2003 02:02 PM
...a silver spoon?IP: Logged |
Nightengale
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posted July 27, 2003 02:04 PM
..nope. and no flavored coffees either. If I want Irish Cream coffee, I'll put Irish Cream Liquor in it thankyouverymuch.  ------------------
Relevancy is a matter of timing. IP: Logged |
cat71
unregistered
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posted July 27, 2003 06:20 PM
Sthenri - Libra Sun, Cancer Moon
Love my mum & dad too, so the guy would not have to love them too, but certainly show them the respect they deserve... One former lover said it right 'How could I not love them, they made you!' awww! He's still a good friend of mine - obviously
And as a Single mum he would have to respect my daughters' space but not act like a step-in dad - can't stand guys who think they're the new authority on how our lives are run, it drives me nuts, or maybe I've just been my own boss too long!  IP: Logged |
sthenri
unregistered
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posted July 27, 2003 08:28 PM
Cat71, I'm a Taurus with Cancer moon, and I agree again, respect for parents is good.Nightengale-I'm the one who likes my coffee plain with no options, but I've learned to mix it up, it's the compromise that keeps couples together.
Simple is good but I can be too rigid,
a Taurean trait. When the right cup of joe comes along, it's much easier. Natasha IP: Logged |
pidaua
Knowflake Posts: 67
From: Back in AZ with Bear the Leo
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 28, 2003 11:11 AM
Hooked: No problem. I thought you meant the topic itself grossed you out LOL...Lioneye...are you saying that I am long winded? LOL...yeah, I know I can type forever it seems like. Jason of Oz.....butt hair? did I see that correctly? Butt hair????? ewwwwwwwwwwww, sorry , I just can't get into that. LOL Ally & Hooked: I am with you. I just have a revulsion to back hair. No guy I have ever dated at a ton of back or chest hair. My Leo has some hair on his chest (not much...just enough to be sexy and a treasure trail) but no back hair. If I met a dude and he take his shirt off and has total hair. I am like "EEEEEEEEEKKKKK!!!! run for the hills" as fast as these Saggie legs can take me. LOL IP: Logged |
hrj777
unregistered
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posted July 29, 2003 03:51 AM
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Oxychick
unregistered
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posted July 29, 2003 07:31 AM
they just mentioned women being turned off by back hair on men on the monring news. If I happen to hear the segment on it, I'll share more.But I just wanna say that yes, we can't help the fact that we are going to have certain physical attributes, but it's not like there aren't products to take care of them, *if* we don't want to have these things (i.e. back hair). Some guys may be very content with their back hair. I was er...very surprised by it once while sharng a rather..close..moment with someone. And it wasn;t the most pleasant surprise. In fact, I was so turned off I that I ended the evening rather abruptly. I defnitely don't think that physical appearance is the be-all and end-all of attraction, not by any means. I've often wrestled with the physical attraction factor with people I happened to just get along with very well. It doesn't always work, but sometimes it does. I'd say my two biggest relationships (A Libra and a Leo) were with people who wouldn't always be thought of as "handsome". I was instantly attracted to the Libra and the Leo took some time, but we immediately hit it off. But, physically speaking, I find that I am often physically attracted to tall and thin guys. Could be because I'm a whopping 5'3 and not bone-skinny (not fat, but not skinny either). I don;t know. I don;t think we can criticize what other people attracted to. I think it's only taken too far when people decided to overlook everything else b/c a person doesn;t meet every one of their standards. Attraction varies with everyone. IP: Logged |
lioneye68
unregistered
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posted July 29, 2003 12:13 PM
I feel sorry for those poor dudes who've been cursed with this very UNpopular physical characteristic.  HEY! To all you hairy backed, but otherwise sweet and handsome and sexy men out there...I don't hold it against you, if that helps. IP: Logged |
Lost Leo
unregistered
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posted July 29, 2003 01:17 PM
But you know what...All thru high school I was a short, skinny, baby-faced kid... So women never just "flocked" to me... They only thing that got me play was my charm & ability to talk to a woman, then once graduated I started working out, got myself all together and now I don't have to rely so hard on charm... Where's there's a will, there's a way... you just ahve to make yourself attractive if you "actually" want to attract...  IP: Logged |
lioneye68
unregistered
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posted July 29, 2003 01:43 PM
True, they could ask a freind to help them wax their back. Or pay to get it done. But it's gonna grow back, and they're gonna have stubble, and ingrown hairs, and inflamed follicles and all the other BS that comes with hair removal. Nature doesn't take too kindly to us opposing her. Plus, it's in a place that is impossible for them to do it theirselves, so they're kind of at a disadvantage that way. It's not like they can just incorporate it into their grooming routine. It's a big fricken production, I'd bet. Plus, it's such a large area. 'Tis a crying shame that we've been socialized to
dislike ourselves the way nature made us.
(**yes, I do ...sheesh!)IP: Logged |
Oxychick
unregistered
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posted July 29, 2003 01:59 PM
It's retribution for all of the pain we women often go through...all the waxing-it hurts, you know.  IP: Logged |
pidaua
Knowflake Posts: 67
From: Back in AZ with Bear the Leo
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 29, 2003 02:02 PM
Lost Leo, Also, you may be like others of us with their Sun in the 4th house. We seem to be awkward as youngins, but as we age we start to "grow into ourselves". The best is yet to come. Hell, here I am at 33 and I cannot believe all the attention I get, and how more self confident I have become as a result of my work and life experiences. So, there may be something to the Sun in the 4th house thing. IP: Logged |
Lost Leo
unregistered
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posted July 29, 2003 02:24 PM
Weird how life works out, huh? That Karma thing... who would've figured?
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sthenri
unregistered
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posted July 29, 2003 02:44 PM
Anything is better than a shaved chest..stubble..stubble...:< Or a man that asks you to shave his chest and neck...I don't shave...or do window....Larger than life personalities take time to grow into..that's what I tell my little brother. He's an Aqua with a Leo moon and full of life, so he asks me all the time, Do I have a Personality!? (He's 14) I say sure, but it's so big you are growing into it, everyone in this family has a huge personality, even our cat, ever notice how everyone is staring at you? And so now he is pretty confident. He offers to take girls home and bake them a cake. He's really into cake, and girls right now. He's a real sweetie, and tall too, but then has a Virgo rising and Venus in Cap so he's very dependable. Girls flock to him but I think they more or less take advantage. When he's older that will be good for him as long as he stays confident. He's talented and good looking but not normally confident because people stare. That can be a real killer for self esteem, staring. Men would stare at me too, for a long, long time. It scared the hell out of me. I couldn't figure it out, whether they wanted to kill me or talk to me..even at work men..scary. Staring is a big turn off, with massive eye contact and the whole fixed staring thing... Natasha
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1scorp
unregistered
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posted July 29, 2003 05:09 PM
What? Eye contact a turn off?! I get hot just thinking about it I was out the other day and some guy was standing right beside me... eyes like you wouldn't believe!! He made very nice eye contact The temperature rose a few degrees in there... yum, yum, yummy, yum, yum .. Shame I'm attached... oh well! IP: Logged |
pidaua
Knowflake Posts: 67
From: Back in AZ with Bear the Leo
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 29, 2003 05:18 PM
Hi Ms. Scorp, where have you been?????IP: Logged | |
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