Posts: 24111
From: Saturn next to Charmainec
Registered: Apr 2009

posted November 21, 2010 02:51 AM            

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Which are you? Now, givers can learn to take, and takers can learn to give, but by nature, which would you call yourself? I'm 100 percent a giver.

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From: Pluto, next to Ami Ann
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posted November 21, 2010 02:53 AM            

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i most definitely think of myself as a giver...maybe its my exalted jupiter

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the better the chase, the better the reward

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From: Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat.......& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion!
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posted November 21, 2010 02:57 AM            

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100% Giver here too.
However looking to a time when I can be with another 100% giver.
That would be beyond exquisite!

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From: Saturn next to Charmainec
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posted November 21, 2010 03:00 AM            

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I always attract the takers. Not only do they take, but they are both selfish and unappreciative.

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From: Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat.......& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion!
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posted November 21, 2010 03:02 AM            

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{{{hugs}}}

quote:

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Not only do they take, but they are both selfish and unappreciative.

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True.
Yeah, and one gets tossed aside when they get their "fix".

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From: Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat.......& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion!
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posted November 21, 2010 03:03 AM            

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{{{hugs}}}
Hope that changes for you.

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posted November 21, 2010 03:05 AM            

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I'm a giver, but trying to learn balance. I think you need to learn to not necessarily "take" but definitely to "receive" - as an equal.

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posted November 21, 2010 03:07 AM            

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I was thinking something similar to PA's post.

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From: Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat.......& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion!
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posted November 21, 2010 03:09 AM            

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PA
True.
Big dif betwixt being a taker and a willing mutual receiver.

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posted November 21, 2010 03:13 AM            

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Yes, Lexx, only thing is that if you're a habitual giver then the second you start to receive there's a sense of guilt about it. I suppose it comes down to unworthiness issues. I sometimes wonder about the conscience level of perpetual takes - the vampires (emotional or material) out there.

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From: Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat.......& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion!
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posted November 21, 2010 03:14 AM            

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I think us givers get caught up in unbalanced relationships because it is hard to impossible for us to believe/understand how others do not feel as deeply as we do.
We go into relationships believing others feel as we do, but then discover after they drain us.....that they are more or only interested in what they can take from us.
We are caring and compassionate and too often get taken in by sob stories and lost souls.
We cannot fix them. And too often we try to, because we care; even at too much sacrifice of ourselves.
That almost killed me a few months back.

quote:

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Yes, Lexx, only thing is that if you're a habitual giver then the second you start to receive there's a sense of guilt about it.

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Yes indeed!
And in my case, never received, but...
felt guilt at the thought...
how weird.
My recent finding myself has resulted in my
belief that I deserve to have all I want and need!
I am worthy and deserve it!

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posted November 21, 2010 03:18 AM            

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Unfortunately, there is a great deal of truth in what you said, Lexx. I hope that's not all we attract though.

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Posts: 5639
From: Pluto, next to Ami Ann
Registered: Jul 2010

posted November 21, 2010 03:18 AM            

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i will graciously recieve but i dont ask to take...but if i did learn to take i would ask first....but thats just me

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the better the chase, the better the reward

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From: Keaau, Hawaii
Registered: Jul 2010

posted November 21, 2010 03:25 AM            

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i love love love to give--
am even ok with a pillowprincess

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From: Australia
Registered: Apr 2009

posted November 21, 2010 03:48 AM            

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50/50

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Posts: 24111
From: Saturn next to Charmainec
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posted November 21, 2010 04:34 AM            

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I would say that a true giver receives by giving. It's a joy. But likewise, maybe we should learn that we are worthy to receive. I don't think Lindaland is representative of the real world, because most people are varying degrees of takers.

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From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted November 21, 2010 04:43 AM            

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I was just thinking what you wrote, Randall.
If one is TOO much of a "giver",perhaps they do not feel worthy to receive.
I was gonna do a thread on this .I will, tomorrow.
It is gonna be about "Is it OK to HAVE needs?"

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Pluto conjunct Dejanira, Girlfriend.

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posted November 21, 2010 04:53 AM            

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quote:

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I would say that a true giver receives by giving. It's a joy.

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True. Definitely. It's still nice to just receive a genuine "thank you".

I think it becomes an issue for the "giver" when they start to feel resentful for what they're "giving", as something different to others "takng" too much from them. I didn't say that very well, but I still hope it translates.

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Posts: 24111
From: Saturn next to Charmainec
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posted November 21, 2010 05:28 AM            

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I can understand that, PA. The last chick I "tried" to date (I broke it off rather quickly before it started), was a true sociopath. I mean she didn't kill people, or anything, but she had no feelings for anyone else; she only cared about herself--to the extreme. No empathy whatsoever. But there was an attraction (beyond the physical). I still can't explain it. I think maybe I wanted to rescue her. But some people just can't be saved.

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"A heart of gold cannot be borrowed, bought, or sold."

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posted November 21, 2010 05:36 AM            

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I have attracted men who have been in need, and I think that in the past I may have confused pity or empathy with love. I think I can see what they need or what they're missing and have wanted to fill that. I don't think that's love anymore. You can still feel empathy for someone without wanting to give your soul to them. If they are totally lacking in any conscience or empathy, I've found, they'll take everything they can from you - suck the joy or life out of you. It's hard when that's the point you realise that that's enough and you're not willing to "give" anymore. I think that's where it's important to have a sense of self and priority there.

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Posts: 24111
From: Saturn next to Charmainec
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posted November 21, 2010 06:23 AM            

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I've actually saved some people. Dating me is often life-altering. I tend to make a very positive impact. But this one just didn't want to change. So, I had to bail before I got sucked in too deep.

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posted November 21, 2010 06:31 AM            

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More of a giver, for sure:

Mars in Libra
Moon/Venus in the 6th
Moon conj Venus
Pisces Sun
Leo rising

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From: Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat.......& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion!
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posted November 21, 2010 08:31 AM            

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I hope to someday receive the joy I have given others.

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posted November 21, 2010 08:35 AM            

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Randall

quote:

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I would say that a true giver receives by giving. It's a joy. But likewise, maybe we should learn that we are worthy to receive.

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EXACTLY!

quote:

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I wanted to rescue her. But some people just can't be saved.

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A thing I finally realize.

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I've actually saved some people. Dating me is often life-altering. I tend to make a very positive impact.

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I have always had that effect too.

Ami Anne

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If one is TOO much of a "giver",perhaps they do not feel worthy to receive.

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Story of my life until recently.
No more of that thinking/feeling ever again!
I am worthy now to receive!

PA

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I think it becomes an issue for the "giver" when they start to feel resentful for what they're "giving", as something different to others "takng" too much from them.

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Oh yeah! Then the giver can just feel they are biding time until death comes.

quote:

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in the past I may have confused pity or empathy with love. I think I can see what they need or what they're missing and have wanted to fill that. I don't think that's love anymore. You can still feel empathy for someone without wanting to give your soul to them. If they are totally lacking in any conscience or empathy, I've found, they'll take everything they can from you - suck the joy or life out of you. It's hard when that's the point you realise that that's enough and you're not willing to "give" anymore. I think that's where it's important to have a sense of self and priority there.

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Yes indeed!

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Everyone is a teacher...
Everyone is a student...
Learning is eternal...LEXX
~Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known. ~Carl Sagan
}><}}(*>♥<*){{><{
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

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Posts: 888
From: Melbourne, Australia
Registered: May 2009

posted November 21, 2010 09:38 AM            

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Giver and nurturer

I can't take or accept without a great deal of discomfort to the point where I'm in tears from embarrassment and gratitude.

I blame having 3 planets in Cancer and a Venus in Taurus.

To me, taking is...let me look after you.

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