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Author
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Topic: Are You Jealous?
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LEXX
Moderator Posts: 7558
From: Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat.......& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted September 12, 2011 02:34 PM
  
I have been looking at how jealousy affects relationships throughout my life to date.
It struck me that jealousy had been always one factor that is ultimately destructive in ALL my relationships, whether be it lovers, mates, family, friends, co-workers, enemies, yes, pretty much any relationship. 
I found this quote: quote:
Take no pride in your partner’s jealousy. Their possessiveness has nothing to do with a desire to love you, but from a want to control you. You may adore their intense devotion today, pity their fear and insecurity tomorrow, but ultimately, you will look at them from between the prison bars they built around you and regret the day you handed them the key to your heart. ~ ~Sandra Kring
Jealousy is causing 90% of the troubles in my ex-to be letting me go.
Jealousy is partly why my son's wife henpecks him and does not want him or their son near me.
Jealousy is the reason my stepmother does her best to keep me from talking to my father.
The list goes on.
How does one keep jealousy out?
Is all jealousy ultimately destructive?
I do not want to move from one trap to another again.
Frankly jealousy weirds me out.
There are many kinds of jealousy and the possessive controlling attitude that follows.
I feel the other person(s)
1.Do not trust me (lovers/romantic relationships)
2.Jealous that I have something they do not(ex lovers/ex to be)
3.Resented/resent my closeness to person they married(stepmother/daughter-in-law)
4.Got a promotion because I was better qualified(co-workers)
Well anyhow.......
I feel the jealousy factor is destructive, especially in a romantic relationship because that is the most intensely personal relationship.
So in such, is jealousy a lack of trust?
Insecurity?
Controlling?
Is it normal at first until the relationship is fully proven, ie; marriage?
But then what if it persists once the person should know they have you and they have no reason to ever be jealous?
And if they are,
doesn't that indicate lack of trust?
So should one not give in totally to a relationship until the jealousy issue is resolved?
?????????????IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 11700
From: The Goober Galaxy
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted September 12, 2011 03:39 PM
Welcome!------------------
I have CDO. It's like OCD, but the letters are in alphabetical order, as they should be. IP: Logged |
LEXX
Moderator Posts: 7558
From: Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat.......& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted September 12, 2011 04:40 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Libra1972:
It MUST be insecurity as I am jealouse and I have no Scorpio or anything in me.I try to temper it with logical thinking but -Yep! guilty. 
Welcome!
Are you still here at LL?  IP: Logged |
Voix_de_la_Mer
Knowflake Posts: 427
From:
Registered: Aug 2011
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posted September 13, 2011 06:33 AM
I experienced it much more when I was younger and very unsure about who I was.
My life had no real direction, and so everything felt unsafe and unstable.
I guess I looked to my relationships for a sense of grounding and security (yet my actions often communicated the opposite) and so anything that appeared to threaten that would feel the wrath!As an adult I have experienced pangs from time to time, but I figure if someone wants to be with you they will, if they don't they won't. If they feel more for someone else than me, then I wouldn't want to hold onto them, their happiness is as important as mine. IP: Logged |
moonram
Knowflake Posts: 61
From: Neptune
Registered: May 2011
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posted September 18, 2011 07:28 PM
I battled jealousy in my younger years, but I've mostly conquered it. Jealousy and the Abyss by William Pennell Rock helped immensely. If I recall correctly, I discovered the article through Lindaland years ago. http://planetwaves.net/jealousy.html IP: Logged |
lalitree
Knowflake Posts: 195
From:
Registered: Apr 2011
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posted September 19, 2011 10:03 PM
i am hideously jealous, and i hate it. it feels like a force beyond my control.IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 11700
From: The Goober Galaxy
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted September 23, 2011 01:23 PM
Are you male or female?IP: Logged |
Sestina Rose
Newflake Posts: 5
From:
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted September 23, 2011 03:01 PM
I am most DEFINITELY a jealous person. lol I blame my Scorpio Venus. Having my Venus in Scorpio comes in handy in other areas of my love life, but the jealousy, I just can't stand. And being a Sagittarius Sun, it can be a little difficult. I noticed, though, that my jealousy is only sparked if I'm feeling insecure (I feel like that's the root of all jealousy). But once I have a sense of security, I'm fine.  When I do get jealous, though, it's more in my head. I won't actually confront my partner about it, or let him know that I'm jealous. I try to deal with it on my own because I don't like being seen as a jealous person. :s IP: Logged |
RegardesPlatero
Knowflake Posts: 33
From:
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted September 24, 2011 12:05 PM
I have a Cancer moon and Venus in Scorpio (I'm a Libra).So, that's a long way of saying a big YES. I do get jealous. I'm not proud of it, but that's how it is. I just try to control it. One thing that makes me jealous is how much other people matter to the people that I know and how little *I* matter. I really don't feel loved or like people care about me; I feel like I all do is annoy people and like the best thing to do is just to stay away. I don't feel like most people see the good in me. What really ****** me off about myself is that it takes just something very very small to put me in this bad mood. I also get really depressed, jealous, and self-conscious when I feel like people are avoiding me or are upset with me and I can't figure out why. Example (that really happened): I send a short message to someone, and the person won't respond to me, yet will go on and post something (not urgent; something frivolous) and respond to OTHER people. I feel jealous of the people who DO get responses because they matter and are valued and I don't/am not. I feel depressed because I feel like I've screwed up yet again and have bothered someone. I feel self-conscious because I feel embarrassed to have done that. I rack my brain trying to figure out why the person is avoiding me and get frustrated when I don't understand it. I HATE not being able to understand something; it just frustrates the hell out of me. I want to break out of this mess, but I really don't know how. It's not like I can just go to someone and ask why they are how they are or what's going on. You just don't do that. Ugh. Sometimes I feel like I understand people well in the abstract, but not the people whom I actually do know. Insecurity with people and in relationships is a MAJOR reason why I feel jealous. I do NOT assume that people do like me or that they have some kind of benign explanation for everything. I don't take it for granted that people can sustain a good or neutral opinion of me. As I think I've said, I always am self-conscious about bothering people and am always worried that someone's opinion of me has changed for the worse. Yes, I realize that this is all silly, but honestly, I just can't honestly believe that things are OK with me and other people and like they genuinely like me or want me around. IP: Logged | |
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