|
Author
|
Topic: Does Anyone Have a Borderline Mother?
|
lechien
Knowflake Posts: 1154
From: my 30 cubic square meter room with a rat!
Registered: May 2009
|
posted April 14, 2011 07:40 PM
  
quote:
Originally posted by Ami Anne:
For US as daughter of BPD mothers, we have our selves ravaged as if by nuclear war.
We,have to build our selves up in the same way the BPD needs to.
THIS IS THE HARD PART 
one positive is that we have the knowledge. we know we are on the good path.  IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 13079
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
|
posted April 14, 2011 07:44 PM
Man
An ounce of self esteem is as precious as gold--22K lol------------------
Life is lived in the sand box.
He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city
Proverbs IP: Logged |
lechien
Knowflake Posts: 1154
From: my 30 cubic square meter room with a rat!
Registered: May 2009
|
posted April 14, 2011 09:04 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Ami Anne:
Man
An ounce of self esteem is as precious as gold--22K lol
 IP: Logged |
PlutoSquared
Moderator Posts: 4457
From: Mars
Registered: Aug 2010
|
posted April 14, 2011 10:39 PM
P2IP: Logged |
pire
Knowflake Posts: 1854
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
|
posted April 15, 2011 03:29 AM
-IP: Logged |
lechien
Knowflake Posts: 1154
From: my 30 cubic square meter room with a rat!
Registered: May 2009
|
posted April 15, 2011 07:25 AM
quote:
Originally posted by PlutoSquared:
My mother didn't "control" me like that... she only had it out to destroy my self-esteem and my identity, because well... I dunno. She was sick.She did at times use me as a therapist. So, I suppose that was a little co-dependent. Maybe a lot. She told me very crappy things... I felt compelled to help. I guess the best way to describe - Basic sadistic qualities mixed with limited self-control. Sick, sick puppy.
Pluto, i think your mother DID try to control you. it just didn't work on you.  borderline mothers want to destroy the child's self-esteem and identity, in order to make them dependent on them, so that they will not leave them, and at the same time they want to feel empowered to be in the position to have to care for someone, which they cannot, and be annoyed and hate the child for being a baggage, and so on and on… IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 13079
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
|
posted April 15, 2011 08:05 AM
quote:
Originally posted by lechien:
Pluto, i think your mother DID try to control you. it just didn't work on you. borderline mothers want to destroy the child's self-esteem and identity, in order to make them dependent on them, so that they will not leave them, and at the same time they want to feel empowered to be in the position to have to care for someone, which they cannot, and be annoyed and hate the child for being a baggage, and so on and on…
Perfect description,Lechien,so simple ,clean and so true! ------------------
Life is lived in the sand box.
He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city
Proverbs IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 13079
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
|
posted April 15, 2011 08:22 AM
I had a dream last night. I will tell you,even though dreams are boring.
It showed the way OUT from the BPD mother.
Dreams are the subconscious trying to tell you what you need to heal .It does it in symbols cuz you have suppressed the reality.
The reality is unknown to your conscious mind BUT it will heal you,if you can access it.
Dreams try all the time to get you to face what you won't ------------------
Life is lived in the sand box.
He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city
Proverbs IP: Logged |
lechien
Knowflake Posts: 1154
From: my 30 cubic square meter room with a rat!
Registered: May 2009
|
posted April 15, 2011 09:05 AM
i agree Ami, i love dreams, hey are so interesting! although i suck at interpreting, i don't know why, i've tried to analyse dreams since i was a kid, but never got a grip on it... i lack imagination?? everyday is a learning experience. this morning, i laid in bed, hesitant to get up, but feeling guilty. started questioning myself why i do this. am i guilty because i'm lazy? well, i thought, when i get up, i have to wash my face and get dressed and make myself presentable, so that i'm ready to go outside. i'm always hesitant to go outside. i questioned myself why. is it because i'm lazy? well, i thought, when i go out, i go out to do things. i go out to do do grocery shopping. i may bike or walk. am i too lazy to bike/walk? no, on contrary, i enjoy that very much! actually, even when it's just food, i love shopping! i like to go to different supermarkets and outdoor markets too, because they have different things! there, then i knew. i'm hesitant to get out of bet every morning, because i will wash my face, get dressed, and go bike and go shopping, which is FUN. i'm not feeling guilty because i am lazy. i'm feeling guilty because i know i'm going to have FUN!!! now i know this, so i can focus on releasing this block. isn't that beautiful to look into your subconscious, whether by reading dreams, or if possible, by asking the "conscious mind" questions? i feel great. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 13079
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
|
posted April 15, 2011 11:54 AM
I am gonna describe my dream ,in detail.Then,I will analyze it. I was in a wooded conservation area.It was beautiful with pristine hills and greenery. Up on one hill was a natural gas factory. On another hill was an electrical manufacturing plant. ------------------
Life is lived in the sand box.
He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city
Proverbs IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 13079
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
|
posted April 15, 2011 11:56 AM
A park ranger,conservation ranger was standing below the natural gas factory.
He was dressed in the ranger uniform but he had a hat on with a flame IN it. I was VERY upset that he had a flame in his hat and was acting like it was no big deal when a natural gas factory was near him. ------------------
Life is lived in the sand box.
He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city
Proverbs IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 13079
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
|
posted April 15, 2011 11:58 AM
I could NOT tell him directly that he needed to get rid of the flame in these circumstances cuz I knew it would not work to be direct.I figured I could get the flame out by doing something. I can't remember what I did but I caused the flame to come out but then it got out of control and the electrical plant started burning. ------------------
Life is lived in the sand box.
He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city
Proverbs IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 13079
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
|
posted April 15, 2011 12:00 PM
I thought how stupid I was not to address it directly with him but try to do it in an underhanded way .Now everything was burning.I knew that the fumes were toxic . I could hardly see to run away cuz the sky was filled with the stuff . I tried to run but I was very tired. I could go step by step only in a very laborious way.
I knew I would never make it . There was no end in sight and I was too tired to KEEP running.
I was still running at the end of the dream,though.I had not given up
------------------
Life is lived in the sand box.
He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city
Proverbs IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 13079
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
|
posted April 15, 2011 12:01 PM
dp IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 13079
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
|
posted April 15, 2011 12:02 PM
In the middle of the night,I knew that this dream showed me my life with my mother.
I knew what it was trying to tell me ,then.
I will try to see if I can express it,now.------------------
Life is lived in the sand box.
He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city
Proverbs IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 13079
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
|
posted April 15, 2011 12:02 PM
dpIP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 13079
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
|
posted April 15, 2011 12:09 PM
*I* was the pristine land,as a child,untouched by my mother,in my natural state , a child with all her feelings and her right mind. The fire was my mother's sickness I could never SAY it was there. It was a dangerous flame but I could not confront it directly.
I had to weasel around to somehow try to get rid of it cuz it was dangerous and could burn the WHOLE pristine place i.e me, down.
------------------
Life is lived in the sand box.
He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city
Proverbs IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 13079
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
|
posted April 15, 2011 12:14 PM
Since I could not talk about it ,directly,I had to try to get rid of it indirectly by trying to knock it off her hat.
*I* destroyed myself by trying to deal with the problem of her flame(sickness) By engaging with her, I brought all the toxic material(literally) and the sky raining refuse( her crazy thoughts) on my head.
I was too impaired to run.I tried but I could not see the end away from this pristine land turned to a toxic refuse dump falling from the sky. The summary of it is that when I tried to deal with her, the whole pristine woodlands(Me)went up in toxic smoke and flames. ------------------
Life is lived in the sand box.
He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city
Proverbs IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 13079
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
|
posted April 15, 2011 12:14 PM
Since I could not talk about the flame ,directly,I had to try to get rid of it indirectly by trying to knock it off her .
*I* destroyed myself by trying to deal with the problem of HER flame(sickness) By engaging with her, I brought all the toxic material(her ways)and the sky raining refuse( her crazy thoughts) on my head.
------------------
Life is lived in the sand box.
He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city
Proverbs
IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 13079
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
|
posted April 15, 2011 12:41 PM
quote:
Originally posted by lechien:
i agree Ami, i love dreams, hey are so interesting! although i suck at interpreting, i don't know why, i've tried to analyse dreams since i was a kid, but never got a grip on it... i lack imagination?? everyday is a learning experience. this morning, i laid in bed, hesitant to get up, but feeling guilty. started questioning myself why i do this. am i guilty because i'm lazy? well, i thought, when i get up, i have to wash my face and get dressed and make myself presentable, so that i'm ready to go outside. i'm always hesitant to go outside. i questioned myself why. is it because i'm lazy? well, i thought, when i go out, i go out to do things. i go out to do do grocery shopping. i may bike or walk. am i too lazy to bike/walk? no, on contrary, i enjoy that very much! actually, even when it's just food, i love shopping! i like to go to different supermarkets and outdoor markets too, because they have different things! there, then i knew. i'm hesitant to get out of bet every morning, because i will wash my face, get dressed, and go bike and go shopping, which is FUN. i'm not feeling guilty because i am lazy. i'm feeling guilty because i know i'm going to have FUN!!! now i know this, so i can focus on releasing this block. isn't that beautiful to look into your subconscious, whether by reading dreams, or if possible, by asking the "conscious mind" questions? i feel great.
I will help you analyze dreams ,later. It is ,actually,easy once you get the hang of it.
Thank you for sharing this post,so much.
I have to go out but I will come back and read every word and comment.
I understand ,Darling ------------------
Life is lived in the sand box.
He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city
Proverbs IP: Logged |
lechien
Knowflake Posts: 1154
From: my 30 cubic square meter room with a rat!
Registered: May 2009
|
posted April 15, 2011 12:55 PM
Ami, i think it's good! very beautiful symbolisms, and i think your interpretation sounds very fitting.i love reading about dreams. feel free to share it always, when you think it's important. i don't know what it is, but i'm so horrible with dream reading. i wish i was better at it, it would really help how my mind is processing things. IP: Logged |
lechien
Knowflake Posts: 1154
From: my 30 cubic square meter room with a rat!
Registered: May 2009
|
posted April 15, 2011 01:12 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Ami Anne:
I will help you analyze dreams ,later. It is ,actually,easy once you get the hang of it.
Thank you for sharing this post,so much.
I have to go out but I will come back and read every word and comment.
I understand ,Darling
oh that's very sweet of you Ami. i don't remember the dreams from last night though. if i have a good one, maybe you can show me the "trick" to get better at dream interpretation!! IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 13079
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
|
posted April 16, 2011 12:21 PM
My dream really helped me.It was weird how it all became clear in the middle of the night.
The dream showed me, clearly,what happened to me.
*I* was pristine,as far as not contaminated by my mother's crazy thinking.
Then,*I* tried to make it OK, the fire/her thinking/her.
When I did that,I was rained on by all of her crazy stuff.
I tried to run but I could see not way out. That is my life with her,summed up lol ------------------
Life is lived in the sand box.
He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city
Proverbs IP: Logged |
lechien
Knowflake Posts: 1154
From: my 30 cubic square meter room with a rat!
Registered: May 2009
|
posted April 16, 2011 06:43 PM
dreams are amazing. i love them. i once had a very intense, saturated dream. i woke up in the morning and felt that i had just lived another life. reality looked colourless and grey compared. for a few days i felt really disoriented.it's amazing, how your subconscious can translate something that feel so complicated or difficult to you, into beautiful and simplified symbols. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 13079
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
|
posted April 16, 2011 09:48 PM
quote:
Originally posted by lechien:
dreams are amazing. i love them. i once had a very intense, saturated dream. i woke up in the morning and felt that i had just lived another life. reality looked colourless and grey compared. for a few days i felt really disoriented.it's amazing, how your subconscious can translate something that feel so complicated or difficult to you, into beautiful and simplified symbols.
This may have been a lucid dream,Lechien or an OBE.
OBE's are super vivid like in the Wizard of Oz when it goes from black and white to color ------------------
Life is lived in the sand box.
He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city
Proverbs IP: Logged |
Lindaland
UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone! 
