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Author
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Topic: Age gap?
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starfox
Moderator Posts: 696
From: London England
Registered: Aug 2010
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posted November 12, 2011 06:18 PM
  
I am working at this new place & there is a girl there and etc... She goes all blushy when I chat with her & we do have a laugh together & you know you can tell when somebody likes you.Thing is, I am 42 & she is only about 22/23 and that's a BIG gap.!
I wonder about appearing as a father figure as that is what my intuition is telling me is what it is about.?
Anyway enough about me.
So; what is the biggest age gap you would consider for a potential lover? 5 years
10 years
20 years
30 years
'X' years ... who cares! IP: Logged |
NickiG
Moderator Posts: 4640
From: Pluto, next to Ami Ann
Registered: Jul 2010
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posted November 12, 2011 06:36 PM
i will not go old enough to be my father....so anything more than 15-18+ years is too old for me------------------
I once saw a sign that said "sin is death" but if "all deaths are suicide (linda goodman)" and suicide is sin, then shouldnt "death is sin" be more appropriate? when organic is used to describe food then you know we have come to a dark age in history IP: Logged |
NativelyJoan
Knowflake Posts: 354
From: Boston, MA
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted November 12, 2011 06:55 PM
quote:
starfox: She goes all blushy when I chat with her
Aw how cute...  Well, the problem with such a big age gap is there's a major generational difference. I've dated men 10 years older then me and I'm not to far away in age from this woman you're interested in (mid 20s) and there was a distinct difference in generational mentality. It's hard to get past that. I mean I was born in the 80s. For a fling I'd consider it because it's just for fun. But not for something serious. I prefer men my own age give or take a year. We stand to be on the same page, as far as the future goes. I dated an man when I was 20 who was in his 30s and he would say things like I was the love of his life, and would hint marriage. I was still in college, and frankly didn't even support the institution of marriage or even conventional living, and still don't. That relationship ended very quickly. IP: Logged |
starfox
Moderator Posts: 696
From: London England
Registered: Aug 2010
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posted November 12, 2011 07:00 PM
quote:
Originally posted by NativelyJoan:
Aw how cute...
Young'uns ... eh!
Its interesting though.
Is it purely a social construct that we need to share some kind of cultural relevancy.? For example, does it matter if we have different eras of not remembering what was on TV as we grew up? she would not remember things from growing up in the 80's, although I would remember things from her era. When I was younger I would have said "probably yes." Older me says "Maybe not after all" How much does a generational gap make any difference ?
IP: Logged |
NativelyJoan
Knowflake Posts: 354
From: Boston, MA
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted November 12, 2011 07:42 PM
quote:
starfox:
Young'uns ... eh!
Its interesting though.
Is it purely a social construct that we need to share some kind of cultural relevancy.? For example, does it matter if we have different eras of not remembering what was on TV as we grew up? she would not remember things from growing up in the 80's, although I would remember things from her era. When I was younger I would have said "probably yes." Older me says "Maybe not after all" How much does a generational gap make any difference ?
From my experience it's obvious but not impossible to manage. Truthfully, there's common ground with people within your generation. But it really is specific to people and situations. It all depends. Definitely try your luck because you never know. I've met people older and younger then me who are really into jazz and folk music like myself which transcends cultural time periods. The same goes with anything related to pop or media culture, those things can be learned and in today's society are accessible through all sorts of mediums. Word of advice: One thing I don't enjoy when dating someone older is when they respond by saying things like "you're to young to understand," It's a bit condescending. And unless I've completed an intensive cultural, social and political investigation of events occurring over the last 100 years, it's a unlikely that I'd know but I might. That's just a lack in historical and cultural awareness. We can't help that we're shaped by our culture, it's the truth. But it depends on your own mentality, for example if you're open minded or young at heart, or if she's an old soul etc. Generational differences might not be such an issue. But Go For It! IP: Logged |
Lonake
Moderator Posts: 5957
From: U.S.
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 12, 2011 08:11 PM
It's not so bad. All your generational planets, Uranus/Neptune/Pluto, are likely to be in feminine signs for both, she likely has Uranus/Neptune Capricorn, Pluto Scorp, you likely have Uranus/Pluto Virgo, Neptune Scorp, and having all outer planets in the same gender is a marker for compatibility across the generations. You'd be more compatible with someone from that group than someone from mine, I have all the outers in masculine signs.Biggest age gap, depends on the person, I don't think about age unless the guy is v.young then it's a no-go. Jupiter/Saturn conj, sextile, trine are also good aspects for relationships since they help bridge gaps (nationality, ethnicity, religion, age, etc.).
Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes both have Jup opp Saturn in their synastry w.each other (double whammy). I imagine they work v.hard to bridge the gap as the opposition implies difficulty. What they say in the media of her being constrained under his influence results from their adverse Jupiter/Saturn synastry. IP: Logged |
LEXX
Moderator Posts: 8222
From: Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat.......& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 12, 2011 08:20 PM
As long as everyone is 18 or over it only matters if the folks involved let it matter.
Other age gap threads here at LindaLand. 
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum27/HTML/000317.html
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum27/HTML/000121.html
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum27/HTML/000053.html
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum27/HTML/000497.html IP: Logged |
Voix_de_la_Mer
Knowflake Posts: 467
From:
Registered: Aug 2011
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posted November 13, 2011 05:10 AM
Ach I'm with 'who cares'! (as long as they are legal!)What's more important is overall compatibility, usually beginning with similar emotional maturity levels, experiences, and life paths. The current apple of my heart is 9 years older than me, and it's non-existant when we are together. Being the 'father figure' isn't necessarily about the age gap, it's more about whether she is looking for that, and if she is, she will find it in men of all ages. One of my early relationships when I was 17, was with a guy who was 19, and it was a total codependency - based on his need to protect (and sometimes control - ahh the potent Scorpio), and my need to be looked after (recently abandoned by my mother, and previously abandoned by my father). It's all about where your mind, heart, and needs are at at the time, not your age. If there's love and growth there, go for it  IP: Logged |
LEXX
Moderator Posts: 8222
From: Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat.......& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 13, 2011 07:28 AM
It has less to do with maturity than do you and the other person just magically click,
things in sync,
and you desire each others' company.
I know of 20 somethings who are mature and are not the boring stuck in the rut old narrow minded chauvinistic pigs too many men in my age range are.
I have found my love interest of 28 years younger, to be one of the most communicative intelligent, honest men of any man I have met, who is able to talk on a wide range of topics and issues.
It has been years to date and no sign of ever running out of things to share and discuss.
My ex 3 to be......is 15 years younger and we click too, but there are other issues that have made us decide to go back to just being friends. That was not because of the age gap.
When I was in my teens and 20s I preferred men 50 to 102.
Well by now all those fellows are long dead.
The age gap betwixt my love interest of now and the oldest, would be some 118 years if the older man were still alive at age 146.
Now that I am 57,
I prefer men 15 to 30 years younger.
IP: Logged |
lechien
Knowflake Posts: 1562
From: in a giant room with 2 little furry friends
Registered: May 2009
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posted November 13, 2011 08:46 AM
it's really as others say, the age doesn't matter as long as the people involved know what they want, and are happy together.my guy's ex-girlfriend was dating her philosophy professor, who was in his 70s, when she was in her early 20s. they had mutual interests and she was intelligent enough to be level with him. IP: Logged |
NativelyJoan
Knowflake Posts: 354
From: Boston, MA
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted November 13, 2011 12:10 PM
I think it's all relative. We've got to be realistic. Our age impacts our culture, that's a fact. These things have to be taken into consideration. Differences are a good thing, they make us unique and versatile, but we can't ignore their existence, age differences or similarities are equally influential and depending on the people and the situations involved they can make or break a relationship. I'm just saying there needs to an awareness. Cultural sensitivity for example. IP: Logged |
PixieJane
Knowflake Posts: 113
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted November 13, 2011 06:01 PM
It just occurs to me that the same issues of age also apply to other factors such as race, economic class, ethnicity, and religion (or a mix of these as well as other factors). I've dated far older people and there were differences in outlook that had to be accounted for, but the same thing is true when I've dated people who weren't white and raised in minority communities. Dating a Russian American was an interesting experience as well (though Russian Americans raised in the USA are far less different from actual Russians in America). Come to think of it, even astrology creates different outlooks that have to be adjusted to. IP: Logged |
LEXX
Moderator Posts: 8222
From: Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat.......& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 18, 2011 12:38 PM
Serves him right!   ------------------
I must perhaps resign myself to having only stolen and brief tastes of happiness,
for it appears that I may never be invited to the feast.
~LEXX The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation A stereotyped but unconscious despair is concealed even under what are called the games and amusements of mankind.
~Henry David Thoreau IP: Logged |
PixieJane
Knowflake Posts: 113
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted November 18, 2011 02:11 PM
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Randall
Webmaster Posts: 12974
From: Saturn next to Charmainec
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 18, 2011 03:08 PM
 ------------------
"The stars which shone over Babylon and the stable in Bethlehem still shine as brightly over the Empire State Building and your front yard today. They perform their cycles with the same mathematical precision, and they will continue to affect each thing on earth, including man, as long as the earth exists." Linda Goodman IP: Logged |
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