posted November 20, 2011 06:57 PM            

Melissa T. Greene:
The Dark Night of the Soul is a spiritual phrase that has been used to describe the darkest most desolate phase of a person's life. During this period of your spiritual journey, you will experience immense pain, the feeling of "going crazy," falling apart, depression, anger, terror, helplessness, and complete isolation from others. Everything you once believed yourself to be is found to be no longer true. Everything you once turned to for comfort is either no longer there or has been exposed as a sham. You may feel lost, having nothing stable to lean on, not even God, because your view of Him has been shattered too. There is often also the fear that this will never end, almost like being lost in a deep dark woods, never to be found or make your way out. This is the Dark Night, Honey.
...
The process that is occurring during this Dark Night is like a spiritual reconstruction surgery. Every piece and aspect of your Self-- your thoughts, internal constructs, foundational beliefs, feelings, and the basis for why you exist-- all of this is taken and completely shattered. It hurts like hell. This is a gross oversimplification of the spiritual process taking place, but God is essentially re-building you from the ground up. You are being given no blueprint as to how this will turn out nor even do you have the wherewithal to understand that you will survive. All you can really do is continue to put one foot in front of the other and believe that God is doing a holy work in you and you will emerge from this dark forest. You WILL emerge from this dark forest. I love this excerpt from Saint John of the Cross's poem:

O guiding night!
O night more lovely than the dawn!
O night that has united
the Lover with his beloved,
transforming the beloved in her Lover.

In looking back, Saint John was able to recognize his darkest period as an awesome journey that took him into true union with God.

posted November 21, 2011 01:20 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by SunChild:
The process that is occurring during this Dark Night is like a spiritual reconstruction surgery. Every piece and aspect of your Self-- your thoughts, internal constructs, foundational beliefs, feelings, and the basis for why you exist-- all of this is taken and completely shattered. It hurts like hell. This is a gross oversimplification of the spiritual process taking place, but God is essentially re-building you from the ground up. You are being given no blueprint as to how this will turn out nor even do you have the wherewithal to understand that you will survive. All you can really do is continue to put one foot in front of the other.

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I call it the meat grinder..

May as well be just the same for the brain and the heart. It's supposed to be off-putting from my point of view. That dark place isn't full of hugs and giggles.

I originally posted this song in reference to this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XtvvzxET1GI

A Perfect Circle, Weak and Powerless

Tilling my own grave to keep me level (You do all the work)
Jam another dragon down the hole
Digging to the rhythm and the echo of a solitary siren (You do the work alone)
One that pushes me along and leaves me so (One foot after the other, never going back.)

Desperate and ravenous,
So weak and powerless over you (Some describe it as painful.)

Someone feed the monkey while I dig in search of China (Remove the distractions so I can focus on my work)
White as Dracula as I approach the bottom (Drained, Overworked, Strained.)

Desperate and ravenous,
So weak and powerless over you (pains,blame)

Little angel go away
Come again some other day
The devil has my ear today
I'll never hear a word you say (turn away due to hurt and anger.)
Promised I would find a little solace
And some peace of mind (What the work was to accomplish)
Whatever just as long as I don't feel so (whatever it takes, although that is not exactly true IMHO. Do something you are not supposed to and most likely receive a swift kick to the gut for your error. *Metaphor)

(No longer have safe places to hide, you are exposed.)

Desperate and ravenous,
So weak and powerless

Desperate and ravenous,
So weak and powerless (you know the drill.)

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When its so very long and drawn out I have these feelings.

posted November 21, 2011 01:53 AM            

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I must perhaps resign myself to having only stolen and brief tastes of happiness,
for it appears that I may never be invited to the feasts.
~LEXX

posted November 21, 2011 01:59 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by LEXX:
I AM THERE NOW.

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Solitary siren, pushes me along. (To avoid confusion, I am not talking about literally running a person through a meat grinder. I know some silly person out there would get the idea.)

Does the man not look weak, desperate in his position? Replace it with a women if you are one. Same thing.

It's for your own good Lexx. Before you get upset, know I realize it's agony. Can't make it go any faster.

quote:

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Originally posted by LEXX:
I feel so lost.

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posted November 21, 2011 02:05 AM            

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I must perhaps resign myself to having only stolen and brief tastes of happiness,
for it appears that I may never be invited to the feasts.
~LEXX

posted November 21, 2011 02:13 AM            

People get depressed so easily also. Spines snap like a dry twig. So I normally keep my mouth shut.

I also got tired of hearing people say I'm depressing them. I have honestly wanted to laugh about that but I don't think they would understand.

They lack a motivation to keep moving on with this IMHO.

The chinese use opposite force against force. I laugh at bad things when it happens, It's honest laughter too.

posted November 21, 2011 02:16 AM            

teasel
Yes I know.{{{hugs}}}
So what do we do about it?

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I must perhaps resign myself to having only stolen and brief tastes of happiness,
for it appears that I may never be invited to the feasts.
~LEXX

posted November 21, 2011 02:27 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by LEXX:
So what do we do about it?

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posted November 21, 2011 02:33 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by teasel:
I've been there for a while now, and I see no good coming from it. I'm hardening, and I'm angry. I've already hardened a bit.

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If you haven't studied it, It may sound crazy.

Taoism. Using the opposite to counteract the thing inside that is going too far.

You need a self-generated counter balance or you risk going too far in one direction, which in your case would not end well.

You need to cultivate a deep desire to make it to the end, the other side also. A desire that cannot die, not matter what. (in relation to the song I linked. Desire = Ravenous.)

(It's funny. The stronger your desire to make it, the harder it becomes. I suppose you are to be made a diamond.)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diamond

Most natural diamonds are formed at high-pressure, high-temperature conditions. Of course this is a metaphor.

posted November 21, 2011 03:40 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by teasel:
I don't know what to do. I'm not used to feeling this way for so long, and I'm hardening in response to repeated blows and failures.

the hypnotherapist I saw today, said that any emotion that someone is feeling, is valid - that you can't logic an emotion away, even if you or somebody else thinks that you shouldn't be feeling that way. I liked that she doesn't invalidate feelings, and instead tries to work at healing them, whilst acknowledging them.

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The hardness is a shield to protect you. Some people have protection, others do not. You can watch them flop like fish on dry land.

Be mindful of your inner thoughts and your heart. Don't let yourself be turned into an unfeeling,uncaring monster.

posted November 21, 2011 08:28 AM            

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tkJNyQfAprY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSYuzwRsr48&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IqEytMfQCLI&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=Pr-JoqFVC5E

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lRcQZ2tnWeg&feature=related

It's weird because I shave off my eyebrows when in fugues too.
Almost shaved my head off my near 4 feet of hair twice in past year.
Now I am there again.
I feel like punching a wall till my knuckles are bloody.
However except for the eyebrow shave.......I shall for the time being restrain myself.

------------------
I must perhaps resign myself to having only stolen and brief tastes of happiness,
for it appears that I may never be invited to the feasts.
~LEXX

posted November 21, 2011 12:35 PM            

Been there for a long time...the dark night...I begin to rise, then am pulled back down, over and over...

But, I know, ever ascending, soul evolution.

I have learned to go with it...I have learned not to run, but to sit in it, to embrace it as a natural place of the soul...

For there can be no true light without darkness (on the 3d plane anyway.) A complimentary exchange of energy...

posted November 21, 2011 01:16 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by LEXX:
I shall for the time being restrain myself.

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Discipline. You break it, you loose type of thing.

Perhaps you should buy a punching bag and a baseball bat. Beat the hell out of the bag with the bat. Can't get into any sort of trouble with others for that. Try not to compound your problems with needless headaches.

Never dump these problems on someone else, Lack of discipline IMHO.

posted November 21, 2011 02:42 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Mblake81:

Never dump these problems on someone else, Lack of discipline IMHO.

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posted November 21, 2011 04:40 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Mblake81:
Discipline. You break it, you loose type of thing.

Perhaps you should buy a punching bag and a baseball bat. Beat the hell out of the bag with the bat. Can't get into any sort of trouble with others for that. Try not to compound your problems with needless headaches.

Never dump these problems on someone else, Lack of discipline IMHO.

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I must perhaps resign myself to having only stolen and brief tastes of happiness,
for it appears that I may never be invited to the feasts.
~LEXX

posted November 21, 2011 04:45 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by teasel:
Hard to do when you're living with others. I used to keep just about everything to myself, and felt better about that, but you hold so much in, then it's going to spill one day.

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posted November 21, 2011 04:51 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Mblake81:
Must find outlet.

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I have trouble exercising, due to various health things hitting me, although I'm going to try again in a while. I have trouble drawing, because I stopped it so long ago, am more antsy, and have pain/numbness in my hand. I wouldn't mind getting out for a walk, but it will be dark soon (and i got up late). I'm stuck on this property most days, because I don't know how to drive... believe me, I know about discipline and miss what I used to have (the amount of it). I'm also not the only one who spills it out at times - I deal with slamming doors and things from others. So, I don't get the alien face, or is that a marker of yours?

posted November 21, 2011 04:53 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by teasel:
Hard to do when you're living with others. I used to keep just about everything to myself, and felt better about that, but you hold so much in, then it's going to spill one day.

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quote:

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Originally posted by LEXX:
Yes, I relate.
I feel I am imploding and implosions eventually black hole, or explode and destroy one way or other,

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posted November 21, 2011 05:01 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by teasel:
I have trouble exercising, due to various health things hitting me, although I'm going to try again in a while. I have trouble drawing, because I stopped it so long ago, am more antsy, and have pain/numbness in my hand. I wouldn't mind getting out for a walk, but it will be dark soon (and i got up late). I'm stuck on this property most days, because I don't know how to drive... believe me, I know about discipline and miss what I used to have (the amount of it). I'm also not the only one who spills it out at times - I deal with slamming doors and things from others. So, I don't get the alien face, or is that a marker of yours?

Also, nobody said anything about becoming a monster.

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PS. Like you, I would not become a monster.
I would just go off and die instead.

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I must perhaps resign myself to having only stolen and brief tastes of happiness,
for it appears that I may never be invited to the feasts.
~LEXX

posted November 21, 2011 05:05 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by teasel:
Hard to do when you're living with others. I used to keep just about everything to myself, and felt better about that, but you hold so much in, then it's going to spill one day.

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quote:

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Originally posted by LEXX:
Yes, I relate.
I feel I am imploding and implosions eventually black hole, or explode and destroy one way or other.

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quote:

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Originally posted by teasel:
Me, too. It eases at times, but more often than not, I feel this way.

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