posted January 23, 2012 08:03 PM            

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Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:
As for 'creative life force', I don't want children, so that side of it is not for me. However, I could see it in another way: as a creative form of expression that doesn't have to mean literal creation of another person.

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No problem about not having children. Just to clarify my personal philosophies surrounding "creative life force" have nothing to do with children. By creative I mean energy related to artistic and sexual expression as an end in itself, not procreation. If that was misleading I apologize. I don't view sexuality as a way to have kids, and therefore when I speak of creative life force, I'm not talking about reproduction but the essence of primal energy as a means to artistically expressing our sexuality, not related to producing children, which is a possible outcome of sex but in my mind sex has nothing to do with reproduction. Children of my own aren't in the cards for me, and I'm able to view the energy we feel through our sexuality separate from procreation and conventional biases. In my views, sex has nothing to do with having children which is ironic but that's just the way I see it. To me sexuality is about the energy itself not what it can in certain situations produce, as in the case of procreation. I see sex as an end itself, strictly about the journey and intense connection between another human being.

posted January 24, 2012 05:45 AM            

I am always nervous to post personal stuff online, even without identifying information, but I am so humbled and honored by what you all have shared with me.

posted January 24, 2012 10:00 AM            

I can't relate totally to the background of your story, but I would like to say I support you fully and respect you for your decisions and your right to have sex or not, to have kids or not, to get married or not.
Please know that even people with no background fears have the right to be ambivalent about such big issues like sex, marriage and kids, and in that sense you have nothing to feel ashamed or embarrassed about.
Don't let anyone make you feel bad about your decisions or thoughts or ambivalence on such matters. I love the maturity and thoughtfulness you bring to the table.
I hope with time your wounds will heal enough for you to fall in love with the right person. Until then, I hope you get to live life with no fear. You deserve the best.

posted January 24, 2012 04:37 PM            

If you honestly feel happy without sex, then it's your path for sure, and dont let anyone distract you.

posted January 24, 2012 09:42 PM            

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Originally posted by sand:
do you guys prefer a partner similar then in terms of experience so you'd go through it together?

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posted January 25, 2012 01:27 PM            

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If you don't mind my asking, though (and I'm not saying that you're wrong or that I necessarily disagree; just that I'm genuinely curious because I am very anxious about both of those consequences): what made you decide that so much was worth it? How are you not constantly wrought with anxiety and unable to function (as in, not being able to sleep, being fearful, being erratic, unable to concentrate on anything else except maybe at work, having this overpowering fear and dread)?

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With my husband, we used an IUD and accepted that pregnancy may occur. After discussions about what we would do should I become pregnant, we decided that we would take life as it came. We didn't include any other protection because, while there is always the theoretical risk that a partner could stray and bring an STD into the shared bed (and we both have had experiences with prior spouses who cheated, so it wasn't entirely theoretical to us), we chose to consciously express trust in one another as part of our mutual commitment. (We ultimately elected to remove it and try for a child.)

posted January 26, 2012 07:53 AM            

I hear and understand your concerns, though I'm rushing out the door and can't write anymore at the moment. Take care of yourself today.

posted January 26, 2012 08:40 AM            

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Originally posted by mockingbird:

I hear and understand your concerns, though I'm rushing out the door and can't write anymore at the moment. Take care of yourself today.

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thank you so much; I really appreciate it

posted January 26, 2012 09:57 AM            

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Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:
I also don't believe that "if it happens, it's meant to". People say that often when it comes to children, but someone would say that in the opposite situation--loss of an embryo/fetus/child--others would be very deeply offended. If someone said that to someone whose spouse committed suicide, people would find it very highly inappropriate. So, to me, I don't see any bad and undesirable situation as "oh, it's OK, it's meant to happen". If people believe that, they have to believe it both ways. I do not. I believe that one has free will and can control many things that happen in life--not all, but at least half. The other half, you can still control your reaction. My reaction if God forbid the worst of the worst ever happened to me would be to not be a mother, however I had to get there.

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I lost two dear daughters and had to deal with that, especially in church with the "It's God's Will" part.

No, God is a Loving God and would be the first to weep at the loss of a life.

posted January 26, 2012 01:25 PM            

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Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:
I hope that you've had other people in your life who HAVE been caring and supportive.

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posted January 26, 2012 10:18 PM            

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Originally posted by NativelyJoan:
Level of experience with sex or lack of it is inconsequential to me, I'm more concerned about how evolved they are as a person and what's going on in their noggin. Mind over matter, everything else just fits in place if our minds come together. That's a dominant Air sign response.

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posted January 27, 2012 04:03 AM            

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Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
Those are few and rare. I have my wife. Neither of us have any family support. We have each other. That's all. Church support doesn't even exist.

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--now that makes me mad

Church, of all places, is where people SHOULD feel loved the most, though unfortunately I know from past churches that I've gone to that this doesn't always happen. I'm very lucky now to be in a more caring church.

posted January 27, 2012 08:10 PM            

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Originally posted by sand:
that is such an airy respone lol! no air me just kinda keeps quiet when girls say the thing they're most attracted to is the mind lol! i guess it has never swayed me that much. i like feeling and water more maybe.. (strange we have same mbti tho! yeh i remembered!)

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Aw lol. I actually tend to intimidate the nutmegs out of many prospective males because they're intimidated by my complex thinking and incisive speaking mind. Feelings are also important to me, but if we don't have a mental connection first, the spark dwindles pretty quickly. It's unfortunate but all that Air makes me such an Airhead and I'm always in need of it. I'm sure the ideal would be to have a balance between the mind and the emotions which isn't easy and I'm still learning how to strike that balance in my own relationships.

posted January 27, 2012 08:17 PM            

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Lol, funny you say that, I tend to intimidate the nutmegs out of many prospective males because they're intimidated by my complex thinking and incisive speaking mind.

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Yep, exactly the same here.
And like with you feelings are crucial too but not without any mental stimulation or the attraction won't last on my part.
I guess I want to feel understood above all else. Like someone gets it and gets me. This inspires closeness in my mind and heart.
Just butting in -sorry. We share so many common planet placements with Joan it's just almost impossible not to comment every time she writes something to say "ditto".

posted January 27, 2012 11:42 PM            

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I actually tend to intimidate the nutmegs out of many prospective males because they're intimidated by my complex thinking and incisive speaking mind.

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see this is where my no air works best! i don't think long enough to be intimidated heheh! and i do believe fortune favors the bold.

posted January 28, 2012 06:47 PM            

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Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:
I really wish that I could talk to a spiritual person in my own faith about this, and to people whom I know personally in 'real life', but one just doesn't do that. I don't feel close enough to some, others I fear offending, others would not have the time, and I would always be a little worried that this might come off as inappropriate/that others wouldn't be offended, but would be perhaps uncomfortable and ill at ease. So, thanks again to all of you. I'm going to continue working on this with my therapist as well.

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RegardsPlatero, I'm just tossing this out there in response to you saying you wish you could talk it out with a spiritual person...there is a prayer ministry, through the Unity church called Silent Unity. You can call 24/7 and someone will talk and pray with you. The phone number is 800-NOW-PRAY (669-7729).

posted January 30, 2012 04:16 AM            

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Originally posted by Virgo-AriesArtist:
RegardsPlatero, I'm just tossing this out there in response to you saying you wish you could talk it out with a spiritual person...there is a prayer ministry, through the Unity church called Silent Unity. You can call 24/7 and someone will talk and pray with you. The phone number is 800-NOW-PRAY (669-7729).

Lots of love and inner peace to you along your journey

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What denomination is this from? What views do they have?