posted February 04, 2012 05:52 AM
I've decided that I am going to cancel my appointment to have this done, and that I want to wait.I'm feeling very strongly a return to my wish to remain single and celibate, and am realizing that the purpose of these fears coming up is to make me realize that, while healing is important, I am nowhere near ready to even consider trying to date, and that this is not the right time for me. So, I am going to hold off.
I feel much more at peace and finally found some stability and calm today, and I feel like this is a good choice.
Honestly, I don't know that I ever will date, but I'm learning that it's OK to not rush into something and that I can take me time to really think things through more thoroughly and carefully, and also that I shouldn't make big decisions based on fear or due to anxiety, but rather I should do it because it's the right thing for me.
I feel much more content after praying and reflecting on this, and thanks again to everyone.