posted July 26, 2012 12:38 AM            

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
if she supposedly wasnt experienced and gave the perfect blowjob it would definitely make me suspicious, also if she was willing to have sex too early it would be major redflag too. i'm really picky about sexual purity (moon conjunct vesta) and i take sex seriously and want someone who does as well.

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I’m sorry but this is kind of a double standard after saying that with the way guys talk to each other, making out with a girl warrants a high five. It’s great that you don’t like jumping into having sex right away and aren’t looking for someone who does, but as junethird said all it really takes is being in one long term committed relationship to lose your inhibitions/insecurities about sex and become experienced or “skillful”. So if you’re looking for a virgin or someone generally inexperienced who has never been in a long term committed relationship where sex was involved, that might be a more upfront way of saying it. But even in that case a girl who isn’t a virgin but isn’t very experienced must have given it up a little too easily too right? So it’s kind of a no win. And if that’s what you’re looking for (a virgin), or you believe in waiting to have sex until marriage, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. But if not I just don’t think it’s fair to assume that girls who have a sexual appetite or are “good” at sex are all promiscuous or untrustworthy in some way. That’s what I don’t understand about the whole idea of “sexual purity”, which let’s be real, is often expected of girls more than of guys. A lot of guys want a girl they can brag about (and yes this includes sexually), but it’s better if she’s innocent too? (Again, fine if you’re looking for a virgin, if not that’s a little hard to live up to) If anything getting back to the OP’s question, this is sort of a form of testing… If you’re too willing to have sex or you’re too good at it, it’s probably a red flag.

Not that it doesn’t happen, but it’s a little harder to find a girl (again who’s not a virgin) who would say wow, he was really great at going down on me, but even though I let that happen, it probably means he’s slept with too many girls and that’s just not a good sign…

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
one of the things i do is when i'm trying to dig up how many men she has been with sexually is exxagerate the number of women i've been with, so she will feel more comfortable revealing her true number. because women usually lie about that .

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posted July 26, 2012 01:43 AM            

***Please dont quote back this reply... I may change it later after i get some sleep lol or coffeee

FireMoon. Thanx for your imput.

I agree with the double standard. Its something ive experienced all too well and very familiar with. I dunno, maybe because iam attracted to scorpio influenced men and they are super suspicious lol.

Its a love/hate standard for me. My asc taurus and cancer moon get annoyed but my gemini and aries loves causing trouble and are kept entertained. Lol

I dont see what mr.aqua said as being too negative tho. I think its true that most guys want the "purest" girl next door to take home to mama. But would like to be the one who brings out or teach her to be the little sex kitten she has hidden inside her.

Men like the chase, and want to practically be dying and be begging for it before they are finally granted an all access pass to the holy grail lol.

What i dont agree is the label men or society in general have put on women who embrace their sexuality and are open and vocal about their desires and what they like and dont like in regards to sex.

I look like the typical innocent girl next door. Very cute and proper, but i think most of my bfs would agree that once they take me home and unwrap me they feel "fooled" lol iam soryy, iam 30 years old and i know what i like and dont and have no problem stating that lol... I just happen to like macho men, who like to be in charge and i refuse to smile and nod like an idiot lol to their dismay i speak my mind.. Despite having venus in aries on the 12 lol. I cant help but shock them with all the knowledge i have learned about men and relationships.

My current love... Is quite shocked at the fact that i have changed. I dont know why... I am not the girl he fell in love with at 23 plus he missed 4 years of my life, where i blossomed into a woman. iam now 30 with much more experience under my belt and he needs to get over himself lol.

In general men are scared of women who have blossomed without their influence and prefer a girl who they can help her unlock her feminity.

In the end, i think its about control. being the alpha male in all respects, including their woman. The top dog.

posted July 26, 2012 01:58 AM            

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Originally posted by FireMoon:
Also... what?? You are lying too then, in a blatantly manipulative way

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posted July 26, 2012 02:35 AM            

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Originally posted by Junethird:
But a high number... Does not equal loose morals lol. What if the guy used and dropped her lol. What if a romance that showed great promise in the early stages burned out rather quickly after sex? Happens all the time... Yes ideally you should wait but waiting an x amount of time does not guarantee a successful long term relationship.

I say go with the moment and see where it takes you

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posted July 26, 2012 02:35 AM            

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Originally posted by Junethird:
But a high number... Does not equal loose morals lol. What if the guy used and dropped her lol. What if a romance that showed great promise in the early stages burned out rather quickly after sex? Happens all the time... Yes ideally you should wait but waiting an x amount of time does not guarantee a successful long term relationship.

I say go with the moment and see where it takes you

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posted July 26, 2012 03:09 AM            

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
i see what you mean , i could forgive a girl maybe having a few experiences where the guy lied to get into her pants, but in my mind she has to wise up at some point and realize hmm guys keep using me for sex, maybe in my next relationship i should hold up on the sex and see if this guy is for real. because if the guy is only interested in sex , he's not gonna wait around when theres girls who put out on the first date.if the guy is completely happy waiting for you then you can be almost certain you have found the real deal.

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posted July 26, 2012 03:17 AM            

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
lol ugh ya'll arent getting what i'm saying at all . why does this always happen. i meant i'm not a guy who sleeps with every girl coming and going, so i dont want a girl who sleeps with every guy coming and going, its not a double standard because i myself go by the standards i want in a woman.i take sex seriously unlike most of my peers, i dont just jump into bed with someone , i want to get to know the girl first and have trust there. So what i'm meaning is i want a girl who shares my values on this issue, its important to me. and if you know the numbers of people they have slept with you know their attitude towards sex , do they value it or just do it to be doing it.

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I see where you're coming from... but if you don't trust girls from the beginning to be honest about how many people they've slept with, and so your methods of figuring out their attitudes towards sex include lying to them or going off of how skilled they are in bed, I just think it might not be the most accurate representation of what their core values really are lol. And by making judgments so easily you could be missing out on a good thing with someone who actually is trustworthy and has compatible views with you...

Just my opinion but I do see what you're saying about wanting someone who holds themselves to the same standards you do...

posted July 26, 2012 03:23 AM            

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
haha maybe so, but its neccesary to get the truth.

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lol again I see where you're coming from but... You can make the argument that wanting a "pure" girl isn't a double standard in your case since you have the same values, but there's no denying this is a double standard lol. That would be like me taking a generalization about guys and saying something like, well I've been cheated on and guys tend to cheat so what I like to do in relationships is cheat too since I know they'll be lying anyway

Maybe percentage wise a lot of guys do cheat, but a lot of girls cheat too and obviously this would never get me off the hook lol

posted July 26, 2012 03:24 AM            

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Originally posted by Junethird:
Thats sweet i like that. And its nice to know you would "forgive" lol whats there to forgive lol. I thought you said guys see a kiss as a kiss and sex as sex... It should not matter who was before you or how many, what matters is that their is noone else while you are around.

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posted July 26, 2012 03:29 AM            

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Originally posted by FireMoon:
lol again I see where you're coming from but... You can make the argument that wanting a "pure" girl isn't a double standard in your case since you have the same values, but there's no denying this is a double standard lol. That would be like me taking a generalization about guys and saying something like, well I've been cheated on and guys tend to cheat so what I like to do in relationships is cheat too since I know they'll be lying anyway

Maybe percentage wise a lot of guys do cheat, but a lot of girls cheat too and obviously this would never get me off the hook lol

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posted July 26, 2012 03:36 AM            

What??!! A kiss and bad sex can totally kill it lol. Just like you can totally dig someone and then you spend two hours with them and realize no thank you. Cute but not my cup of tea. Sometimes no matter how pretty the wrapping you are not that into them after getting to know them a bit including kissing/sex.

A physical connection/attraction is so key. Goes hand in hand with emotional/spiritual understanding.

posted July 26, 2012 03:45 AM            

Although I understand your point. Wanting someone who takes sex and love seriously is key. But judging someone by their past is of something I dont fully agree. Sex is beautiful. True it shouldn't be experienced with every dick, Tom and Harry you meet lol but someone's opinion shouldn't hinder you from second guessing and enjoying a moment. Yes. Use protection. If someone, a complete stranger wants to jump your bones bareback then oooook! Big flags. But going with the moment and letting it unfold however it may is beautiful and organic. Not something to put a label on and be judged.

posted July 26, 2012 03:51 AM            

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:

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Yeah I was agreeing with you on that part, I'm saying lying to a girl about how many people you've slept in an attempt to manipulate the "truth" out of her, because you assume she's going to lie to you about it, is a double standard... And can't do much to build trust between you from the beginning

Just like me feeling justified to cheat in future relationships while condemning guys for doing the same to me in the past would be a double standard and hypocritical (just to use an analogy)

posted July 26, 2012 04:20 AM            

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Originally posted by Junethird:
Lol. No of course not. Just don't judge someone's past that's all. We all have skeletons.

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posted July 26, 2012 05:07 AM            

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
thats why i stick with my morals.

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Morals that justify lying and manipulating others (sometimes just for fun going by some of the things you've posted).

Right.

I'll take an honest, forthright manhoe (or nympho) over a manipulative liar any day.

posted July 26, 2012 06:09 AM            

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
lol ugh ya'll arent getting what i'm saying at all . why does this always happen. i meant i'm not a guy who sleeps with every girl coming and going, so i dont want a girl who sleeps with every guy coming and going, its not a double standard because i myself go by the standards i want in a woman.i take sex seriously unlike most of my peers, i dont just jump into bed with someone , i want to get to know the girl first and have trust there. So what i'm meaning is i want a girl who shares my values on this issue, its important to me. and if you know the numbers of people they have slept with you know their attitude towards sex , do they value it or just do it to be doing it.

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