posted October 10, 2012 12:26 PM            

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Originally posted by Lazyscarecrow:
I'm talking more about relationships, and yeah sex too but not like the 50 shades of grey stuff.

I am wondering what are the placements or signs of men that will lead to a more "dominant" personality, like NOT controlling or suffocating, but they like to lead in general and the sex he takes control.

I have a few examples of placements that are more submissive.
Aquarius.
I say this because it seems every Aquarius man I ever came across has this vibe, and the women they pick? Scorpio and Aries almost exclusively. And every single one (Scorp and Ewe) I know prefers to run her man's life and wears the pants to a certain degree, except maybe one. They love dominant and aggressive women.
Cancer Mars.
I have attracted more than enough of them and they have this feel where they want the woman to throw them down on the bed and.....you know where it goes from there. And they love being "hurt".

And surprise! I am a Leo woman (with an Aries moon no less) and I HATE having to take control even though I am used to being put in that role. At the same time, I hate "authority", I don't like being dictated to and controlled, but I always fantasize about a confident (but not flashy) and in control kinda guy that knows what hes doing and y'know...throws me over his shoulder. Puts me in my place, yo. My natural inclination is to dominate when the guy isn't up to par but I become deeply unhappy with this.
I guess what I'm saying is I like those who are dominant without snuffing out my shine or making me into a wittle slave, but doesn't force me to lead them around on a leash and hang on my every word.

All I wanna know is...

WHAT SIGN/PLACEMENT IS LIKE THIS?!!
Am I not embracing my sign's need to dominate and be the leader?

am I making sense?

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I feel you 100% I sooo get what you are saying. I have this exact trouble. If you are a woman and your nature is to be assertive, expressive and competent, you tend to attract men who are passive and like that dynamic of being dominated. However, I don't care for passive men. What I like, is when a very assertive, competent, smart as a whip, decisive and sexy man "lets" me assert myself with him. I don't mean in a condescending way. It makes me feel very loved and appreciated and I feel good knowing that I don't HAVE to be in charge. I like to know that he can take over sometimes. In fact ideally, it would be about 50/50.

I had to go through a lot of Libras and Pisces and Cancers who put me up on a pedestal, but could not match my power. They were like weights around my ankles. I ended up marrying a Leo sun with Scorpio moon and Virgo rising. His mars/venus is in Libra so he's still very giving and gentle, but he is so smart and accomplished and confident, it ends up being nice balance. Also, he has moon conjunct mars which I think is a hot feature in a man. Makes him dynamic and forward in a friendly, sexy way, rather than a pushy way. He also has Mars conjunct Jupiter, which I agree is a good placement for dynamism. It has to be balanced with some softness in the chart somewhere though.

I say, stay the heck away from air and too much water( especially, like you said, Libra and I would say Pisces too, but as a Scorpio, I find Pisces have a way of taming me that no other sign can accomplish. They gently fold me into total submission! Masters of cunning, those fellows. Too changeable though.). A good combo of fire and earth with a touch of water in moon, mars or venus and some harmonious aspects between moon and mars makes a kick ass man.

posted October 10, 2012 01:20 PM            

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Originally posted by sand:
i will consider it. but u have to wear a white coat and heels! ..and i want your tongue to sterilize me ahaha!

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posted October 10, 2012 01:51 PM            

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Originally posted by Lazyscarecrow:
Hey Hera, I like this post.
Didn't know about the Moon-Uranus aspect, I vaguely know how it's interpreted but I can't think of a way to tie it in with aggressive or passive sexual behavior Interesting.Yes, Cancer Mars are sweet like that, I will agree.
Also didn't know that about Pisces Mars. I personally have never known a male Pisces Mars, but I read about them from others and they said they were very passive. You are welcome to tell me more about it if you wish to.
Aries Sun and Aries Mars? Wow. I would imagine those placements lend to a lady in charge. I have Mars opp Pluto too, but I think it's detrimental Taurus Mars that wants me to sort of lay back while my partner takes the reins from time to time. But like you, I feel like switch is a good term for me, with a sub lean.

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I have never thought of myself as a dominant type of person. Always thought I should be submissive. I can certainly see the appeal of it. For me, at this point, submission is out of the question because of my abusive past, it is too raw and painful and there's no telling how badly I would react, risking my safety and other people's. But I think I would enjoy switching between both sides of the coin, in other circumstances.

As for placements.. I have not met intimately neither Cancer Mars, nor Pisces Mars. I am being wooed by a dominant Pisces Mars - so they exist lol. I am chasing a Cancer Mars (unsuccessfully, as it seems). But that's as far as the story goes. Only Marses I've known intimately were Scorpio, Cap, Leo and Virgo.
Virgo Mars.. hmmm. Appearances can be deceiving, they are not at all plain, prudish or boring. I know 2 dominants with this Mars, one was my ex (though vanilla dominant).
Surprisingly, my Leo Mars ex was more on the submissive side. Cap Marses are dominants, though my Sag ex found his submissive side through me. Scorpio Mars just likes sex, you'd think they get their kicks by being dominant, but my ex enjoyed it the most when I took control. I think it takes a while until a MIS lets you have control over them. I mean, they have to really trust you 150% and love you too. Until then, it's tests and trials and submission for you!

I was surprised to find quite a bunch of Aries women on the submissive side, to be honest. You'd think they'd be amazons, powerful, confident women. But actually, being submissive sexually does not make one less powerful or confident. Some very powerful people in day to day life are submissive in the bedroom, but there's no rule for that. They acquire a lot of tension from the responsibility of their jobs and get rid of it by ceasing control in the sack. Which is fine as long as everyone's ok with it.

posted October 10, 2012 03:40 PM            

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Originally posted by Lazyscarecrow:
Sounds like my kinda man. And funny enough, I looked through my database and found one such guy who fits this but he has the quintile aspect yet his Mars has good trines from Sun, Pluto, etc.
So I have another question, what do you think of quintiles? I know only a tad about them.

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posted October 10, 2012 03:42 PM            

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted October 10, 2012 05:41 PM            

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Originally posted by redshift:
I feel you 100% I sooo get what you are saying. I have this exact trouble. If you are a woman and your nature is to be assertive, expressive and competent, you tend to attract men who are passive and like that dynamic of being dominated. However, I don't care for passive men. What I like, is when a very assertive, competent, smart as a whip, decisive and sexy man "lets" me assert myself with him. I don't mean in a condescending way. It makes me feel very loved and appreciated and I feel good knowing that I don't HAVE to be in charge. I like to know that he can take over sometimes. In fact ideally, it would be about 50/50.

I had to go through a lot of Libras and Pisces and Cancers who put me up on a pedestal, but could not match my power. They were like weights around my ankles. I ended up marrying a Leo sun with Scorpio moon and Virgo rising. His mars/venus is in Libra so he's still very giving and gentle, but he is so smart and accomplished and confident, it ends up being nice balance. Also, he has moon conjunct mars which I think is a hot feature in a man. Makes him dynamic and forward in a friendly, sexy way, rather than a pushy way. He also has Mars conjunct Jupiter, which I agree is a good placement for dynamism. It has to be balanced with some softness in the chart somewhere though.

I say, stay the heck away from air and too much water( especially, like you said, Libra and I would say Pisces too, but as a Scorpio, I find Pisces have a way of taming me that no other sign can accomplish. They gently fold me into total submission! Masters of cunning, those fellows. Too changeable though.). A good combo of fire and earth with a touch of water in moon, mars or venus and some harmonious aspects between moon and mars makes a kick ass man.

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posted October 10, 2012 05:48 PM            

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Originally posted by Hera:
I have never thought of myself as a dominant type of person. Always thought I should be submissive. I can certainly see the appeal of it. For me, at this point, submission is out of the question because of my abusive past, it is too raw and painful and there's no telling how badly I would react, risking my safety and other people's. But I think I would enjoy switching between both sides of the coin, in other circumstances.

As for placements.. I have not met intimately neither Cancer Mars, nor Pisces Mars. I am being wooed by a dominant Pisces Mars - so they exist lol. I am chasing a Cancer Mars (unsuccessfully, as it seems). But that's as far as the story goes. Only Marses I've known intimately were Scorpio, Cap, Leo and Virgo.
Virgo Mars.. hmmm. Appearances can be deceiving, they are not at all plain, prudish or boring. I know 2 dominants with this Mars, one was my ex (though vanilla dominant).
Surprisingly, my Leo Mars ex was more on the submissive side. Cap Marses are dominants, though my Sag ex found his submissive side through me. Scorpio Mars just likes sex, you'd think they get their kicks by being dominant, but my ex enjoyed it the most when I took control. I think it takes a while until a MIS lets you have control over them. I mean, they have to really trust you 150% and love you too. Until then, it's tests and trials and submission for you!

I was surprised to find quite a bunch of Aries women on the submissive side, to be honest. You'd think they'd be amazons, powerful, confident women. But actually, being submissive sexually does not make one less powerful or confident. Some very powerful people in day to day life are submissive in the bedroom, but there's no rule for that. They acquire a lot of tension from the responsibility of their jobs and get rid of it by ceasing control in the sack. Which is fine as long as everyone's ok with it.

Uranus, btw, IMO, figures in if you think that bdsm is an [b]alternative lifestyle and most of these people go against the *norm* in sexuality. [/B]

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That's understandable, Hera. Such experiences CAN trigger those unfavorable memories even when it's not the intention. Intimacy/Sex leaves most of us very vulnerable and open. And d'oh *smacks forehead* Uranus is all about going against the norm and tradition. I just always saw the bdsm thing as a Pluto or even a Saturn-ruled sex thing but Uranus would be the most obvious. And I agree with all of your last paragraph. People who are in control for most of their career do think it's a change of pace to let someone else take control in the privacy of their bedroom. I wonder what it's like for someone who is at the whims of others in their career?

So was your Sag ex a Virgo Mars or Scorpio?

I had the experience of a Scorpio Mars and Sag Sun, he was more on the sub side. Like, not spank me please submissive but like I would take control often when kissing, sex, and was more aggressive. I asked him to throw me down and he just wouldn't lol! He would ask constantly what I wanted him to do to me...which is more sub. And finally, he tried to do the hard-to-get thing...and make me seem like a cat in heat pursuing him like the piece of meat. That's also more passive.

posted October 10, 2012 05:57 PM            

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Originally posted by ail221:
I like to call Quintiles the talent aspect, so many geniuses have many Quintiles in their chart. Mars trine Pluto is similar to Mars Aspecting Jupiter, you will still get the charming, competitive, ambitious, enduring, masculine persona but instead of the enthusiasm you'll get emotional depth, sexually more dominant, a bit obsessive guy. Mars-Pluto, Mars-Jupiter, Mars-Saturn you'll definitely get a masculine persona just in different shades but since you have so much fire and I suspect you like Sagittarius men I'd say stick with the first two combinations.

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Wow you are very perceptive. I'd expect no less from a
I am fond of those damn centaurs. It could be because of my ASC though, in the sign.
But thanks for the information. I like all of those aspects, though I might have to be careful with Mars-Saturn.

posted October 10, 2012 06:47 PM            

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Originally posted by Aquacheeka:
Mars in Scorpio is sexually dominant.

Mmmm....

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posted October 11, 2012 02:08 AM            

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Originally posted by Lazyscarecrow:
That's understandable, Hera. Such experiences CAN trigger those unfavorable memories even when it's not the intention. Intimacy/Sex leaves most of us very vulnerable and open. And d'oh *smacks forehead* Uranus is all about going against the norm and tradition. I just always saw the bdsm thing as a Pluto or even a Saturn-ruled sex thing but Uranus would be the most obvious. And I agree with all of your last paragraph. People who are in control for most of their career do think it's a change of pace to let someone else take control in the privacy of their bedroom. I wonder what it's like for someone who is at the whims of others in their career?

So was your Sag ex a Virgo Mars or Scorpio?

I had the experience of a Scorpio Mars and Sag Sun, he was more on the sub side. Like, not spank me please submissive but like I would take control often when kissing, sex, and was more aggressive. I asked him to throw me down and he just wouldn't lol! He would ask constantly what I wanted him to do to me...which is more sub. And finally, he tried to do the hard-to-get thing...and make me seem like a cat in heat pursuing him like the piece of meat. That's also more passive.

Thanks for sharing your experiences, also.

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My Sag ex was Cap Mars lol. He started out very dominant, saying what a wonderful submissive I'd make, to end up begging to be dominated That was one of my first cues re: my dominant side. Apparently he didn't feel that way with other women. I scared the hell out of him when I told him I want to become a Domme and that I can finally fulfill his fantasy. He didn't even reply to my messages! (and I know he read them)

EDIT** sorry, I didn't want to comment on my experiences (I do appreciate what you said though), I believe I have vented them enough for now lol Besides, I was in a fun mood and wanted to keep it.

posted October 11, 2012 02:13 AM            

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I'd expect no less from a

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posted October 11, 2012 03:42 AM            

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Originally posted by RedScorp:
I think we can just all agree that ail is fabbbb

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posted November 14, 2012 02:03 AM            

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Originally posted by Lazyscarecrow:
I
I have a few examples of placements that are more submissive.
Aquarius.
I say this because it seems every Aquarius man I ever came across has this vibe, and the women they pick? Scorpio and Aries almost exclusively. And every single one (Scorp and Ewe) I know prefers to run her man's life and wears the pants to a certain degree, except maybe one. They love dominant and aggressive women.

Cancer Mars.
I have attracted more than enough of them and they have this feel where they want the woman to throw them down on the bed and.....you know where it goes from there. And they love being "hurt".

And surprise! I am a Leo woman (with an Aries moon no less) and I HATE having to take control even though I am used to being put in that role. At the same time, I hate "authority", I don't like being dictated to and controlled, but I always fantasize about a confident (but not flashy) and in control kinda guy that knows what hes doing and y'know...throws me over his shoulder. Puts me in my place, yo. My natural inclination is to dominate when the guy isn't up to par but I become deeply unhappy with this.
I guess what I'm saying is I like those who are dominant without snuffing out my shine or making me into a wittle slave, but doesn't force me to lead them around on a leash and hang on my every word.

All I wanna know is...

WHAT SIGN/PLACEMENT IS LIKE THIS?!!
Am I not embracing my sign's need to dominate and be the leader?

am I making sense?

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Here it is again, a prime example that Leo and Aries (or maybe it's just me) are literally mentally linked or bound together or something. I mean, I have these EXACT preferences too. I also have Juno in Leo in my 3rd house, and Mercury in Aries so maybe that's why me and Leos think so much alike? I digress.

I'm always being forced into the leader role but I'm stubborn and don't follow through. I have Venus in Aries, in the 11th house, and Uranus in the 7th. Lately Aquariuses have been lovin' the Hanna. And they are the most passive signs ever when it comes to romance unless they have Capricorn as a personal planet. I know one three with Pisces placements (whether it's their Venus or rising) and they are definitely as you described. The two I know with Capricorn placements however are very smart and very sexy, and very confident. They are the go-getter ones. Both are awesome types of people but if I had to pick, it would be Aquarius/Capricorn. They would suit my need to feel feminine and chased after, as well as be kind of my "equal." A power couple.

Taurus or Venus in Taurus likes to be bossed around too. They are kind of lost in their gut feelings at the beginning of relationships and need guidance. Once they have that, they're pretty true blue partners although Taurus suns do flirt a lot with a lot.

Geminis are traditional and they'll chase you and only you if they are really interested in a relationship (note: not you, but a relationship. I believe they have the ability to adapt to anybody like a chameleon.)

Mars in Pisces. Submissive. Like, headache inducing submissiveness. Especially for an Aries. They don't do anything if you approach them, they stare at you and do nothing when you don't and get hurt feelings when you move on. #facepalm.

Cancer sun/Mars in Leo will take charge physically but emotionally they're pretty wimpy. Sorry. I do appreciate their inability to hide what they're feeling though. For once a combination I don't have to break a sweat to read.

Scorpio sun, Sag... anything. They will DEFINITELY not waste time letting you know what they think and getting the show on the road, although it's a different kind of attitude. It feels a lot lighter than a Mars in Leo's passion and yet it's still sexy because they can get bossy. Yum.

Virgo men...I don't have any experience with them. Mainly on purpose because there's usually some Leo influence in their chart and Virgo/Leo makes a guy absolutely unbearable to me.

Libra men. Passive yet direct. They'll chase you if they want to but it'll feel like you're getting chased by a wet noodle. Not into it.

Deep breath. Done.

posted November 14, 2012 02:05 AM            

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Originally posted by redshift:

I had to go through a lot of Libras and Pisces and Cancers who put me up on a pedestal, but could not match my power. They were like weights around my ankles. I ended up marrying a Leo sun with Scorpio moon and Virgo rising.

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posted November 23, 2012 05:30 PM            

I can be very controlling in all aspects of my life - when it comes to *myself* and the things I need and want... but I am not controlling of *others* and I don't want to run anyone else's life.
I would most like a guy who is independent and can run his own life..
Trying to run someone else's life would just feel like an added responsibility that I don't want.
I like self-sufficient men. IMO a good relationship should be a give and take.. not one person being 'in control' all the time.

posted November 23, 2012 10:51 PM            

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Originally posted by Lazyscarecrow:
I am wondering what are the placements or signs of men that will lead to a more "dominant" personality, like NOT controlling or suffocating, but they like to lead in general and the sex he takes control...

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Interesting observations, Lazyscarecrow. Like you, I like a man who's aware of what he's got and knows exactly what to do with it. I've almost always been most attracted to outgoing and confident men. They just know who they are and are astute enough to make wise choices in life and in friendships and relationships. I don't like lethargic men. Go getter's are very stimulating and inspiring. They tend to be the ones to take charge when it matters most.

I think this is where our shared Moon in Aries placement comes to light. I don't want the side-pony I want the Stallion (Mars in Sagittarius! ) Someone just as strong as me, who isn't afraid to say whatever they're thinking. Tough guys are hot (and I don't mean bulging muscles. I'm talking raw to the bone, passionate and don't give a crap Brando types), and they can get the job done. But they need to be balanced within themselves. They can't always be trying to assume the more dominant role in or out of intimacy and relationships. There's a thin line between cocky and jerk. But I will say a guy who stands up for me is sexy, but one who stands up for himself is even sexier!

Speaking of Aquarius, the last Aquarius I was with was very chivalrous yet assertive. He was commanding, funny, and took control when it counted. Which is what I like. He was so unassumingly poised in public but when we were alone, a different side of him came out a very assertive and commanding side, which I found exhilarating. We almost got in trouble for indecent exposure lol (blame it on the alcohol). Good times. I think he was the first guy in a long long time I was just able to have fun with and didn't really care. If I pushed him, he'd push back and then we'd both laugh. It's not easy to find that type of carefree connection.

I guess it all depends. I can give you a list of placements, but it depends on each person and how they express their energies. I guess mars in fire types, angular house dominants and Mars aspects as mentioned by others. Stick with cardinal signs and fire signs who like to be dominant and take control oh and Cappies. Keep an eye out for Aries, that might be interesting for you.

posted November 23, 2012 11:51 PM            

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In looking at the heroes and archetypes that have shaped so many generations of men, and reflecting on the long and remarkable persistence of chivalry as a Western ideal, one central theme emerges: the importance of the Beloved Other to a man's identity. When men are able to commit their singular strength and energy to the service of something or somebody outside themselves, they bloom into graceful, compassionate warriors capable of joining with others in "power-with" relationships to create awesome good. The search for this personal Grail has led men through the centuries to join armies; write love songs; build great temples; place themselves before oppressors with guns, fire hoses, and bulldozers; and grow into husbands, fathers, breadwinners, and elders who shone as beacons for the younger men who came behind them.

Conversely, when that male strength, power, courage, and intelligence are not channeled toward a larger purpose, the desire for "power-over" emerges, and young men's most honorable attributes fester into frustration, violence, and social pathology. The results are everywhere around us: gang warfare, fraternity hazing, brutal work environments, and the recent rash of high school shootings. In searching for this lost sense of purpose - and the identity it would give them - our young men turn their energies back against themselves, each other, and our culture.

While many will certainly want to argue this point with me, I think it's possible that there may be no higher calling for a Pagan man than to provide the Goddess of his choice with the resources she needs -- love, money, land, food, rest, protection, comfort, etc. etc. - to do her best work. This is reflected in our images of Pagan men as hunters, warriors, providers, protectors, lovers, and nurturers; and we see this loving commitment in gods from every corner of the planet: Herne, Tyr, Apollo, Dionysus, Cernnunos, Raven and Maui. Like the tales of chivalry, they tell us that in most times and places, a man's primary form of worship and greatest source of meaning is to be in service to his beloved family, his tribe or nation, or the Goddess herself.

What separates the men from the boys, in the end, is the willingness to make that commitment to the Beloved Other, and the ability to make whatever sacrifices that commitment entails. Every screwed-up young man I've ever known got that way because he was missing this sense of purpose -- and unscrewed himself when he finally found it.

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posted November 24, 2012 12:25 AM            

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What separates the men from the boys, in the end, is the willingness to make that commitment to the Beloved Other, and the ability to make whatever sacrifices that commitment entails. Every screwed-up young man I've ever known got that way because he was missing this sense of purpose -- and unscrewed himself when he finally found it.

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posted November 27, 2012 10:31 AM            

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Originally posted by sand:
Truer words were never spoken. #screwedupyoungman

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