posted November 21, 2012 04:44 PM            

Does the whole relationship become especially meaningful, usually...even if it was a one night stand?

It seems everyone I've talked to has fond memories of their first time and the person it was with.

posted November 21, 2012 05:41 PM            

I can't say I'm proud of how young I was ~ but in my case, he was old enough to know better, but had a thing for deflowering as many young girls as possible, and kept actual notches on his bedpost. Yikes, right?

He was damaged in his own right by his first (first-time, first-kiss, first-sweetheart) so that sorta' explained it, though doesn't justify it, in my eyes. I give him credit,and myself...there were all too many people I knew personally who didn't get to make a choice, or were rushed into things... I could have done much worse by those standards... he was concerned with my comfort, asked repeatedly if I was ready, and actually took the time to make something "special" out of the moment.... lol I can laugh now because that just shows how well he played me~ but, when you are young and as easily impressed as I was by older men... yeah, the experience was what I'd *thought* in my teenage mind,was how it *ought to be*...

Although, I was truly played~ we only dated shortly, and it wasn't him I was interested in to begin with~ he was able to manipulate me because of my intense need for harmony. And, the truth is I struck his ego down a few notches by confessing I liked his brother~ =O (he was more my age!) His reaction was a true Leonine masterpiece of drama~ (Somehow my disinterest in him warranted me his instant attention/affections) --- In the end I conceded defeat~ and gave him a chance, putting my interest in his brother behind me~ even though it never left~ and we had a very difficult (age difference) half-year romance~ ~ he was a remarkable educator, although he negatively influenced all my future interactions in a way~~~ Leos = stamina to die for.... In my mind, I *thought* all men could "perform" such marathon escapades. But, sadly... it doesn't really work that way.

Being much older, and having stayed in relative close contact until recent years~ I did find out he had finally got beyond his demons, met a really great woman his age, and had a daughter to boot....

I don't have any resentment towards him~ in fact I still very much admire him in most respects. But, I have to admit I was terribly tempted to make a crass comment when I last saw him (he was with his family at the same auto-garage), I really wanted to say something like, "may no one do to your daughter.... " but, I held my tongue. ~just saying it was there in my mind at that moment~

I really don't know many people with "fond" memories of their firsts, very few indeed. But, I would think/hope there are some who do~ And, I really hope nobody takes the option of "one night stand" (that'd be an awful way to lose it too!)

posted November 21, 2012 07:01 PM            

I really didn't want to go through with it but I didn't trust any of the adults around me. The other kids (including my friend who'd be deflowering me) were all for it. I wanted to call Granny but Mom wouldn't let me and I didn't want to explain to anyone else of any age why I wanted to call her.

So I went through with it...at least as much as I could. It was even worse than I feared and a very traumatic experience for me and I'm sure he wishes he could forget it, too. And no matter how much I tried to put it behind me things were always awkward between us forever and I felt both sad & relieved when I realized I'd never see him again.

The good side is I DID learn from it. I never allowed myself to be goaded by peer pressure into doing something I was sure was wrong for me again, no matter how close I was to the said peer. So in that sense it made me stronger, and it also, I think, made it so I approached sex a lot more cautiously in the future than I would've otherwise which contributed to both good experiences and avoiding unpleasant consequences.

posted November 21, 2012 08:19 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by juniperb:
Yes He`s the father of my two wonderful children.

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posted November 21, 2012 08:46 PM            

I was the kind of person who always wanted to have good character. I prided myself on having good morals etc

I was not a stuck in the mud but I valued myself and was old fashioned--was not wild, drink, do drugs, have sex etc

Well, my mother made fun of me so much and laughed at me and mocked me so much for my values and principles that I went to a club and planned on a one night stand, so she wouldn't laugh at me any more.

I didn't even KNOW about condoms or birth control.

The guy came over. I told him I was a virgin and he started laughing. Afterwards, he realized I was

Afterwards, his eyes were really weird and I just prayed he would not hurt me and he didn't.

Don't quote this. I may erase it.

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted November 21, 2012 09:18 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Faith:
How common is it, do you think, for people to harbor special affection for the person they lost their virginity to?

Does the whole relationship become especially meaningful, usually...even if it was a one night stand?

It seems everyone I've talked to has fond memories of their first time and the person it was with.

Wondering how y'all feel about it.

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posted November 21, 2012 09:38 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by asclibrasagsun:
Ami Anne how old were you?

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Can't remember--before my 2nd year in college but get this? I didn't know about birth control

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted November 21, 2012 09:46 PM            

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted November 21, 2012 10:06 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
You ask me how I didn't know about birth control at that age? I have no idea

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posted November 21, 2012 10:35 PM            

quote:

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I am almost 22 still have not lost it, am in college...

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posted November 21, 2012 10:51 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by somethingexcellent:
Oh no why not? Haven't found the "right person" yet or just unlucky...?

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posted November 21, 2012 11:04 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by asclibrasagsun:
Do you regret it?

I am almost 22 still have not lost it, am in college...

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Awww That is a heartfelt question.

I regret not loving myself enough and valuing myself enough to do what was loving and good for myself.

I went to a place that college kids went to dance i.e a bar and I saw a gorgeous DJ and I decided I would lose my virginity with him so my mother would not be able to laugh at me any more.

That is so sad.

The virginity is secondary to the pain of thinking you are a piece of worthless garbage.

That is the pain, dear one

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted November 21, 2012 11:11 PM            

quote:

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At this point I am willing to go outside and be like **** me lol

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posted November 21, 2012 11:13 PM            

Mine was totally weird and surreal and sad, most of all

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted November 21, 2012 11:14 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:

Awww That is a heartfelt question.

I regret not loving myself enough and valuing myself enough to do what was loving and good for myself.

I went to a place that college kids went to dance i.e a bar and I saw a gorgeous DJ and I decided I would lose my virginity with him so my mother would not be able to laugh at me any more.

That is so sad.

The virginity is secondary to the pain of thinking you are a piece of worthless garbage.

That is the pain, dear one

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posted November 21, 2012 11:15 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by somethingexcellent:
Ohhhh I see Well, you could always try to find a friend with benefits or hell, even a "casual friend" kind of deal. I've had both and it's actually pretty easy to find people who are willing!

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posted November 21, 2012 11:17 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by asclibrasagsun:
My parent does the same thing sometimes too. She just always makes fun of me for being single and she says it is absurd. I have actually noticed that it is ridiculous to discuss any emotional problems with her whatsoever. She makes me feel ashamed of "feeling" things - it is very difficult to explain but I think that she in someway restricts my emotions, I mean emotions are emotions but she is always like OH WHY ARE YOU SO SAD JUST GET OVER IT well excuse me we are human beings are we not. Anyways yes me being a virgin does make me feel a little worthless nowadays especially when all I see is couples couples couples...also the fact that I have a parent who is not supportive, mother, and father who is emotionally distant. Just crazy

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You should do your synastry with her. I will look if you put it in Personal Readings. Come to the Beginners Forum and tell me you did it, so I am sure to look.

I get scattered with so much Gemini and the earth void lol

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal