posted January 09, 2013 01:42 PM            

I do think however that it is more complicated than that. Sadly I've been on the other side of the coin. When the other loved more. And I know it's not always just disinterest on the more distant partner. Sometimes you're just not ready, or too confused, or in a period of healing, or too tangled up in other things to even think about love.. But when that rosy-cheeked child in diapers hits you with his arrow, you make an effort.

It is easy to fall into the trap of finding excuses for our partners.. But a little bit of the bitter truth might save you from a much more painful heartache and disappointment.

Sometimes.. he's just not that into you. And there's not much you can do about it. Being the only one who contacts might be interpreted as desperation or even harassment if said contact is not wanted. Rushing him when he's not ready will only lead to resentment. Manipulating him through sex will see him gone just as soon as the hot sex wears off. Demanding more time or attention when you're clearly not a priority would make you look hysterical (and men hate that).

Yesterday I witnessed without my will a conversation as I was standing in line at the post office and the clerk, a young woman, was flirting with a costumer whom she knew. She kept flirting, he flirted back mildly, I'd say not to encourage her but rather not to offend her. She unfortunately took that as encouragement and became bolder and bolder. Now this wasn't any of my business, except I was in a hurry and their flirting was in my Aries way. Clearly she was crushing on him and he wasn't that interested, though I'd say he might have appreciated her as a friend. Relax, I didn't interfere, but since I had nothing better to do, I was in awe with the synchronicity and it offered food for thought since I myself am in a similar situation. I wanted to scream at her, girl, let it go, he doesn't feel the same! But at same time realized I might just scream that at myself. I try to not make things worse by insisting. Do I still have hope he will come around? Of course. But for now I do need to realize.. he's just not that into me.

posted January 09, 2013 02:29 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by sand:
I think it's okay to doubt that at the beginning when you're playing cat and mouse. Good fun! But u should know and feel it that he adores you.. Eventually. When there is nothing left to bare.

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posted January 09, 2013 02:35 PM            

Repeat after me:

TOP TEN AFFIRMATIONS FOR SELF ESTEEM

Today I Am Capable of Handling Anything That Happens

I Am In Control of My Life Story

I Am Attracting Great Things into My Life

I Am Confident and Strong

I am Supported by the Universe

I'm Worthy of True Love

I Have High Self Esteem

I Feel Good About Who I am

I am a Unique and Priceless Person

My Life is Wonderful

MORE SELF ESTEEM AFFIRMATIONS

I Love Myself

I am a Happy, Positive Person

I Am Worthy

I'm Capable of Creating and Maintaining a Great Life

I Deserve to Have a Great Life

I am Beautiful Inside and Out

I'm Capable of Changing My Life for the Better

I'm Worthy of Being Treated Well

I'm Worthy of a Great Life

I Am a Divine Being of Light

My Family Loves and Supports Me

My Friends are Always There For Me

I Am Creative and Interesting

I Am Perfect Just the Way I Am

I Can Change My Life Story Whenever I Want

Today I Am Strong

Today I Am Happy

Today I Am Confident

I am Creative

I Am Intelligent

I Am Attractive

I Am Interesting

I Am Unique

I am a Unique and Priceless Person

I Have a Good Circle of Friends

I am Extremely Successful in all of my Ventures

I am a Caring Person with Lots of Friends who Care about Me

I Accept Myself for Who I Am

I Can Trust and Rely on Myself

I Am Unconditionally Loved by the Universe

I am Fully Competent and Capable

All of my Accomplishments are Because of My Actions

My Worth as a Human Being is Unconditional

I am Respected and Well-Liked by all the People That I Know

I Accept and Rejoice at My Individuality

I Respect Myself, I Respect Others, and Others Respect Me

I Can Trust Myself Completely

People Like to Be Around Me

I Create My Own Reality

I Can Say No to Other People

I Have Healthy Personal Boundaries

Everyone is Special, Including Me

Source: http://www.energy-healing-info.com/self-esteem-affirmations.html

posted January 09, 2013 03:08 PM            

One day, a scorpion looked around at the mountain where he lived and decided that he wanted a change. So he set out on a journey through the forests and hills. He climbed over rocks and under vines and kept going until he reached a river.
The river was wide and swift, and the scorpion stopped to reconsider the situation. He couldn't see any way across. So he ran upriver and then checked downriver, all the while thinking that he might have to turn back.

Suddenly, he saw a frog sitting in the rushes by the bank of the stream on the other side of the river. He decided to ask the frog for help getting across the stream.

"Hellooo Mr. Frog!" called the scorpion across the water, "Would you be so kind as to give me a ride on your back across the river?"

"Well now, Mr. Scorpion! How do I know that if I try to help you, you wont try to kill me?" asked the frog hesitantly.

"Because," the scorpion replied, "If I try to kill you, then I would die too, for you see I cannot swim!"

Now this seemed to make sense to the frog. But he asked. "What about when I get close to the bank? You could still try to kill me and get back to the shore!"

"This is true," agreed the scorpion, "But then I wouldn't be able to get to the other side of the river!"

"Alright then...how do I know you wont just wait till we get to the other side and THEN kill me?" said the frog.

"Ahh...," crooned the scorpion, "Because you see, once you've taken me to the other side of this river, I will be so grateful for your help, that it would hardly be fair to reward you with death, now would it?!"

So the frog agreed to take the scorpion across the river. He swam over to the bank and settled himself near the mud to pick up his passenger. The scorpion crawled onto the frog's back, his sharp claws prickling into the frog's soft hide, and the frog slid into the river. The muddy water swirled around them, but the frog stayed near the surface so the scorpion would not drown. He kicked strongly through the first half of the stream, his flippers paddling wildly against the current.

Halfway across the river, the frog suddenly felt a sharp sting in his back and, out of the corner of his eye, saw the scorpion remove his stinger from the frog's back. A deadening numbness began to creep into his limbs.

"You fool!" croaked the frog, "Now we shall both die! Why on earth did you do that?"

The scorpion shrugged, and did a little jig on the drownings frog's back.

"I could not help myself. It is my nature."

Then they both sank into the muddy waters of the swiftly flowing river.

posted January 09, 2013 03:20 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
not to sound arrogant but i feel like i have lots of perspective on this issue because i have seen it from all sides. you see in high school i had lots of interest from girls, probably because i had my head up my ass lol. i was confused about what i wanted out of a relationship and for the most part didnt want to get tied down. i was the type of guy who would go on a date with a girl and not call her for a week, while she obsessively tried to get in touch with me. i had 3 girls who were especially obsessed with me and were desperate to get in a relationship with me. one tried
to manipulate me into a relationship via fwb. anyways by the end of high school i had grown up and was ready for a real relationship, i wasnt confused anymore and knew exactly what i wanted. about a year after high school i ran into one of the girls who was soo obsessed with me , of course when she saw me she immediately ran up and hugged and kissed me. we ended up exchanging phone numbers and got back in touch. we went on several dates ( just like in high school) but this time i was more mature about it and was more consistent. i ended up developing feelings for her and was open and honest about it, what did she do? lost interest and ran away lol...this was the same girl who was soo desperate for me when i was an immature jacka** , but when i had matured and was willing to give her the commitment she soo desperately wanted she bolted.

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posted January 09, 2013 03:24 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by sand:
You should date more complex people lol!

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posted January 09, 2013 03:43 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Padre35:

And sometimes women are quick to think they guy is just not into them.

Maybe to quickly sometimes, sometimes we are just slow to make a move b/c the time does not seem right.

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posted January 09, 2013 04:31 PM            

Sandie, you just had to share that story didn't you? lol

Hanna,
I actually didn't read the book lol but ofc know about it and I actually think it is a healthy perspective instead of feeding yourself illusions and lies. Swallowing the bitter pill can bring improvement! And of course I see your point, I have been in their shoes as well and do know it can happen. It still hurts though lol.

Aqua,
I know this is a sensitive subject. I am glad you are more mature now and know what you want. Sometimes it's women who screw things up, indeed.

Padre,
That is a good food for thought. Indeed some of us might be too quick to ask for something more stable or committed, long before its time. I believe I have made the same mistake with the guy in question - I thought I made things clear when instead got him to run for the hills. Well, not really coz he came back but yeah I guess he's just not ready or not into me, either way it seems to be my call if I stay or go.

posted January 09, 2013 05:27 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
Bah. This relationship stuff is too complex. What happened to the good old days where men came home to drink a martini, eat dinner and were left alone, and women made dinner and just wanted the credit card to go shopping, and be left alone. Then both would meet for sex for15 minutes twice a week and then sleep in separate beds/bedrooms. Those were simplier times. Just kidding.

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posted January 09, 2013 07:10 PM            

quote:

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sand: The scorpion shrugged, and did a little jig on the drownings frog's back.

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posted January 09, 2013 07:23 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
Bah. This relationship stuff is too complex. What happened to the good old days where men came home to drink a martini, eat dinner and were left alone, and women made dinner and just wanted the credit card to go shopping, and be left alone. Then both would meet for sex for15 minutes twice a week and then sleep in separate beds/bedrooms. Those were simplier times. Just kidding.

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posted January 09, 2013 09:42 PM            

quote:

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this seems to be something that women have more trouble with for whatever reason

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