Lindaland
  Sweet Peas In The Rain
  Coldness/Lack of compassion for people with addictions (Page 1)

Post New Topic  Post A Reply
profile | register | preferences | faq

UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone!
This topic is 3 pages long:   1  2  3 
next newest topic | next oldest topic
Author Topic:   Coldness/Lack of compassion for people with addictions
earthypisces
Knowflake

Posts: 291
From: Greenville, South Carolina
Registered: Jan 2012

posted July 26, 2013 01:01 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for earthypisces     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Alright, I really need to vent...I hope I'm doing this in the right place.

First of all, I have never had a drug addiction in my life, never even smoked a cigarette. But I'm so disgusted by how little compassion so many people seem to have. So often when someone has an addiction these days, people just act indifferent and when they die some people even say things like, "They had it coming." The lack of compassion is so disgusting. Most addicts are in pain emotionally, most of them don't know how to cope any other way. Life is hard. I've never done drugs, but I do know what it's like to be in a very dark place in life.

Like these compassionless people are so perfect, we all make mistakes in life, no one is perfect. Addictions are not a good thing, but I just don't feel these reactions are warranted at all.

Sorry, just needed somewhere to vent. People disgust me so much sometimes.

------------------
Pisces Sun
Capricorn Moon/Venus
Taurus Ascendant
Aquarius Mercury
Leo Mars

IP: Logged

MsPrism
Knowflake

Posts: 494
From:
Registered: Jun 2013

posted July 26, 2013 01:09 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for MsPrism     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Some people really do not want or don't know how to put themselves in other people's shoes, this is true.

Though, it can be a defense mechanism to say things like "they had it coming."

I know that I personally will shove away sad feelings and get angry at others. People think my anger is because I'm without compassion but really, it's because I care so damn much.

I am sorry about people that won't give their time to care and I apologize for those that don't express their compassion in an understanding way.

I hope you feel better soon!

IP: Logged

T
Knowflake

Posts: 9760
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted July 26, 2013 01:34 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for T     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Earthypisces, great topic and what a heartfelt way of expressing your feelings.

Addicts do often have to deal with the worst of stigmas. People are HARSH when it comes to this subject. WHen in reality, these people need to be treated in the most gentlest of manners. People don't realize that addicts are often in the greatest need of help and to brush them aside and ridicule them for things they think are so easy to take care of, could almost be wishing them a death sentance. They expect them to 'buck up' and pull themselves together, when they don't know they psychology behind it all and that when you say something like that to an addict, you are only making their problem worse.

I've never met one person who truly understands addiction in it's deepest sense. The only ones who seem to are people who have been there themselves. Those who've already gone down that road. They make the best addiction counselors.

Have you ever watched the show Intervention?

It's a great show. I almost always go through at least a half a box of tissues when I watch it. I cry like a baby. I've grown up in a family of addicts and seen friends die from overdoses and battled myself. One thing an addict can always count on is 98% of people NOT understanding them, or will be judging them or dealing with them in the wrong way and actually making their problem or addiction even worse.

It's sad but true, that most people are extremely uneducated in addiction issues, and have NO SYMPATHY for them or their addiction issues and don't know how to help them with healing and only help to prolong their loved one's problem in the long run. Addiction and the addicts mind is a very complicated thing, not to be made fun of by people who've never been there. Not many understand it, becasue most people havent been there and don't know the addict's mind or history. Their HISTORY is very important in recovery.

People ARE often COLD and lack compassion for this sector of society, only i think, because they are extremely uneducated and don't know what else to do, they expect too much from them. They don't understand. They expect addicts to just stop what they are doing and shape up, when it is not that simple. There is so much more going on that needs to be addressed. People who havent been there, will never know.


Intervention:
http://www.free-tv-video-online.me/internet/intervention/

quote:
Intervention profiles people who are losing their battle with their addictions, and whose friends and families feel the only remaining option is to hold an intervention. Each documentary follows the lives of these addicts, taking an unflinching look at the impact of their addictions on their everyday lives, all the while the addicts are unaware that an intervention is being planned. Each airing ends with the friends, family and a professional interventionist urging the addict to get treatment. If the individual should choose treatment, the addict immediately enters a widely respected treatment facility.

unfortunately, i think this season will be their last one.

Theyved saved a lot of lives in the process though.

IP: Logged

mirage29
Knowflake

Posts: 1520
From: us
Registered: May 2012

posted July 26, 2013 03:49 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for mirage29     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
^^^ You are all so awesome! Thanks for high-quality sharing here!

IP: Logged

luisbunuel
Knowflake

Posts: 269
From: Hampshire, England
Registered: May 2009

posted July 26, 2013 05:19 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for luisbunuel     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
So what would you like the non-addicts to do?

Provide an unending stream of empathy and sympathy?

Why do the majority of us who have kept on the straight and narrow and brought some semblance of order into our own lives have to feel sorry for those who can't be bothered to sort themselves out?

IP: Logged

Kerosene
Knowflake

Posts: 3686
From: Mercury
Registered: Dec 2012

posted July 26, 2013 05:31 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Kerosene     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thank the heavens for your sound mind and health.

Would you like a gold star?

You obviously have no concept of mental health.
Besides your petty sympathy means nothing, but understanding addicts are suffering should be easy enough to grasp...

IP: Logged

T
Knowflake

Posts: 9760
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted July 26, 2013 05:48 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for T     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thank you for being the perfect example of the type of person was speaking about above, luisbuneuel.

No, no one wants you to feel sorry for them or provide an unending stream of anything. I'm sorry you are so unaware. It's a much deeper issue than wishing you or anyone else to "feel sorry" for them. "Can't be bothered to sort themselves out"? Youre an idiot.

This is usually the case with people who say they have kept on the "straight and narrow" their whole lives. So, it's no surprise. Can't fault you for being so narrow minded and lacking in.....well, i'll shut up now.

You are a great example of what this thread is about. So, thank you.

mirage, Kero,

IP: Logged

aquaguy91
Moderator

Posts: 6946
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012

posted July 26, 2013 07:35 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I agree 100%, its pathetic how ignorant the average person is when it comes to drug addiction. The Government is 100% to blame for that ignorance. The government puts out tons of propoganda to try and make us afraid of drug abusers. This is all a smoke screen so they can take advantage of these people and take their money. Just the other day I saw a huge billboard on the side of the highway that said "cash for cooks" and it was instructing people to call the police if they knew somebody who is making meth and it was offering a 100$ reward.Furthermore it had a huge picture of an evil looking guy wearing a black hooded jacket, this was supposed to be the evil meth cook. Sadly the majority of people will be taken in by this bullsh*t and report the meth cooks and get them put away and will think they are doing the right thing. In reality all they will be doing is helping the government exploit sick people who need our help.

IP: Logged

Ami Anne
Moderator

Posts: 44258
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted July 26, 2013 08:35 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by earthypisces:
Alright, I really need to vent...I hope I'm doing this in the right place.

First of all, I have never had a drug addiction in my life, never even smoked a cigarette. But I'm so disgusted by how little compassion so many people seem to have. So often when someone has an addiction these days, people just act indifferent and when they die some people even say things like, "They had it coming." The lack of compassion is so disgusting. Most addicts are in pain emotionally, most of them don't know how to cope any other way. Life is hard. I've never done drugs, but I do know what it's like to be in a very dark place in life.

Like these compassionless people are so perfect, we all make mistakes in life, no one is perfect. Addictions are not a good thing, but I just don't feel these reactions are warranted at all.

Sorry, just needed somewhere to vent. People disgust me so much sometimes.


To put it simply, look to the Moon. I would look for a Virgo, Libra or Aqua Moon, not that all these people are like that but the moon is empathy.

Most people who have empathy will have it for all suffering people, whether it be drug addictions or other situations.

------------------
Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal


http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/

IP: Logged

Randall
Webmaster

Posts: 30457
From: Saturn next to Charmainec
Registered: Apr 2009

posted July 26, 2013 09:01 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
No one here is an idiot. People are entitled to their opinions. Please, everyone play nice, or I will have to close the thread.

IP: Logged

Faith
Moderator

Posts: 5227
From:
Registered: Jul 2011

posted July 26, 2013 09:05 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Faith     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
I agree 100%, its pathetic how ignorant the average person is when it comes to drug addiction. The Government is 100% to blame for that ignorance. The government puts out tons of propoganda to try and make us afraid of drug abusers. This is all a smoke screen so they can take advantage of these people and take their money. Just the other day I saw a huge billboard on the side of the highway that said "cash for cooks" and it was instructing people to call the police if they knew somebody who is making meth and it was offering a 100$ reward.Furthermore it had a huge picture of an evil looking guy wearing a black hooded jacket, this was supposed to be the evil meth cook. Sadly the majority of people will be taken in by this bullsh*t and report the meth cooks and get them put away and will think they are doing the right thing. In reality all they will be doing is helping the government exploit sick people who need our help.

Right.

IP: Logged

Faith
Moderator

Posts: 5227
From:
Registered: Jul 2011

posted July 26, 2013 09:15 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Faith     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
T, I'll watch that show when I get time. Looks right up my alley. Thanks

Did anyone read the People magazine article on Matthew Perry? (Here's his chart.) It was so inspiring. He does a lot of stuff like this:

quote:
Matthew Perry shared his experience of drug abuse with officials in Washington, D.C. this week as he testified in support of specialist courts to deal with addicts.

The former "Friends" star, who spent years battling an addiction to prescription pills, spoke in favor of programs to deal with non-violent criminal offenders with drug and alcohol problems.

Perry addressed the House Appropriations Subcommittee on Commerce, Justice, Science and Related Agencies on Thursday and said drug courts are vital to help deal with the problem of addiction. He said, "Drug courts are the single most effective program for curing serious drug addicts for life-long recovery."

Speaking to reporters at the event, he joked his battle with drugs would prevent him from ever launching a political career: "I think I've been to rehab too many times to run for office."

He adds, "I do jump at any opportunity to come here and talk about (drug courts)... Any opportunity I get to talk about drug courts on a one-on-one level or a much bigger level - like testifying in that scary room - I grab at because it's just one of the few things that's a no-brainer: it saves lives, it saves money, it's bipartisan... My life has a lot more meaning now that I try to help people. It's also a selfish thing - it makes you feel better than anything else will."



Link


I didn't even know about drug courts until I read that article.

I'm just so glad people are helping each other out.

IP: Logged

Randall
Webmaster

Posts: 30457
From: Saturn next to Charmainec
Registered: Apr 2009

posted July 26, 2013 09:31 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
This is a very enlightening subject. I have never been addicted to any substances, so it is interesting to see the other side of the coin and to hear viewpoints on addiction. I support awareness in all things, whether race, religion, gender, gay rights, and other issues, so learning about addiction, which is something I personally have had no experience in, interests me. This thread can help a lot of people by creating more openness and awareness on the subject. Great topic!

IP: Logged

mockingbird
Knowflake

Posts: 1890
From:
Registered: Dec 2011

posted July 26, 2013 09:53 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for mockingbird     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'll come at this from the POV of someone who's a mother with addicts in her life:

Empathy?
Sure.
I have it in spades.

I will not allow myself or my children to be put in harms way due to the actions of addict family members, though, so I keep my distance.
There's a line between love and enabling that many unwarily skip over.

------------------
If I've included this sig, it's because I'm posting from a mobile device.
Please excuse all outrageous typos and confusing auto-corrects.

IP: Logged

jellyfishtry
Knowflake

Posts: 845
From: LaLa land
Registered: Apr 2013

posted July 26, 2013 10:04 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for jellyfishtry     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

Now hang on there, you lot that are trying to take Luisbunuel, to the town square and stone them for their opinon.

What Luisbunuel was trying to say, is what about people who went are going through a lot of pain, the same one drug addicts try and use drugs to 'suppress'...but who did no such thing, and so no one sees what they are going through, or helps them, when they are the one's feeling the pain every second, coz they chose not to turn to drugs or alcohol or whatever.
How fair is life for those people? (and no when you are hurting so much sometimes u don't have the 'energy' to go and say u need help, and if you do some may ask 'for what?' if you aren't doing anything so 'in your face' like taking drugs?...so much for empathy..

Otherwise totally agreed with mockingbird, i feel sorry for them, and would totally support any initiative to get ppl to stop taking these things (so mostly education,)but also make rehab available for others not only Lindsay Lohan types!...but i would not ever put any of my loved one's in harms way.

IP: Logged

Jessica2407
Knowflake

Posts: 3193
From: Saturn
Registered: Sep 2012

posted July 26, 2013 11:06 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Jessica2407     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by jellyfishtry:

Now hang on there, you lot that are trying to take Luisbunuel, to the town square and stone them for their opinon.

What Luisbunuel was trying to say, is what about people who went are going through a lot of pain, the same one drug addicts try and use drugs to 'suppress'...but who did no such thing, and so no one sees what they are going through, or helps them, when they are the one's feeling the pain every second, coz they chose not to turn to drugs or alcohol or whatever.
How fair is life for those people? (and no when you are hurting so much sometimes u don't have the 'energy' to go and say u need help, and if you do some may ask 'for what?' if you aren't doing anything so 'in your face' like taking drugs?...so much for empathy..

Otherwise totally agreed with mockingbird, i feel sorry for them, and would totally support any initiative to get ppl to stop taking these things (so mostly education,)but also make rehab available for others not only Lindsay Lohan types!...but i would not ever put any of my loved one's in harms way.


I agree.

Thank you for posting.

I was getting angry already when I read the response to Luisbunuel's post,and thought I'll take a break instead.

Also I want to highlight that not all addicts are in pain. While I can remember a much spoken case here when a mother of 8 children left her house in the middle of the night leaving a lighted cigarette next to a bottle of whisky that she used to douse the bed covers of the children sleeping. The father was conveniently at work.5 of them died that night.The eldest saved 2 of them. She afterwards told the police that it was difficult financially to support all of them because she 'already spend so much on alcohol and cigarettes'. No, I don't have compassion for these kind of addicts.

IP: Logged

Randall
Webmaster

Posts: 30457
From: Saturn next to Charmainec
Registered: Apr 2009

posted July 26, 2013 11:18 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
We all have different life experiences, world schemas, and frames of references to draw from.

IP: Logged

Jessica2407
Knowflake

Posts: 3193
From: Saturn
Registered: Sep 2012

posted July 26, 2013 11:19 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Jessica2407     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
^ Also agree.

That's why I took a break.

IP: Logged

Randall
Webmaster

Posts: 30457
From: Saturn next to Charmainec
Registered: Apr 2009

posted July 26, 2013 11:39 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
This is a passionate topic, so tempers can flare; however, we must remember to voice opinions without hurling insults or belittling others' views, or else the wisdom shared gets tainted, because it detracts from the rest of the message. I personally look forward to learning a lot from this thread.

IP: Logged

Faith
Moderator

Posts: 5227
From:
Registered: Jul 2011

posted July 26, 2013 11:44 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Faith     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I think everyone would agree that dealing with a drug addict is going to be a painful experience.

I think everyone would also agree that it's good when those people find help. We're grateful that rehab centers exist, and that people volunteer their time to work with these troubled individuals in a professional capacity (as it is usually just too much to deal with in a personal capacity.)

Right?

IP: Logged

Faith
Moderator

Posts: 5227
From:
Registered: Jul 2011

posted July 26, 2013 12:04 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Faith     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by jellyfishtry:
what about people who went are going through a lot of pain, the same one drug addicts try and use drugs to 'suppress'...but who did no such thing, and so no one sees what they are going through, or helps them, when they are the one's feeling the pain every second, coz they chose not to turn to drugs or alcohol or whatever.

Do you mean that it is unfair that there are rehab centers but nothing like a "general therapy center" for the rest of us? Hmm. Yes, I suppose the state funding ought to be equally distributed so everybody has equal access to some kind of psychological care.

But on the other hand, I would never use it. I don't like how the government has access to all medical files, and if I were to confide in a therapist, the thought the information ever leaving that room would prevent me from making full use of the services provided. Even though the skeletons in my closet are relatively small, legal skeletons (I wouldn't be confessing crimes, I didn't commit any!) but just the way the psychological profession has been compromised digs under my skin. This is violating people where they are most vulnerable.

So I would hope that rehab centers don't take advantage of people and try to pry all kinds of information out of them that they may later regret divulging. It's something I don't know much about, actually.

I think we all have a duty to look after ourselves; those of us who are not on drugs are much more likely to be able to find help, because we know which way is up.

Choosing drugs is a bad choice, but the addiction that grips people after that is more than they bargained for. Usually it's beyond their conscious control; they have been "seized" and their decisions aren't the same as a sober person's.

IP: Logged

Jessica2407
Knowflake

Posts: 3193
From: Saturn
Registered: Sep 2012

posted July 26, 2013 12:08 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Jessica2407     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Like you said Randall, each one of us has different life experiences to draw from.

I remember little experience of mine when I was a teenager.There was this homeless person I used to meet on my way to my private singing lessons. He was blind. He used to stand next to the traffic lights asking people to help him to cross the road. Nobody would even look at him. So I helped him.When we were on the other side of the road,he asked me for money because he said he was hungry which I gave him. My dad used to pick me up after my lessons,(which by then was late evening) so when the car stopped at the same traffic lights I saw him again counting his profits for that day. He didn't look blind anymore.

I believe compassion and coldness is not something that a person will immediately resort to.Like someone said, it's a defense mechanism.It is HUMAN NATURE to feel compassion,to empathize with another person's pain or rough periods in life.But to express it? People don't normally express it the same way as you would like them to.Of course it's harsh to say that they 'had it coming' but I've heard it in relation to women who got raped because they wear provocative clothes for instance,in relation to people who died in a car crash who used to drink and drive.This is HOW people react.I don't believe they are cold or without compassion.If you are feeling compassionate towards something in particular you can't expect everyone around you to feel the same way.It's as simple.

IP: Logged

jellyfishtry
Knowflake

Posts: 845
From: LaLa land
Registered: Apr 2013

posted July 26, 2013 12:21 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for jellyfishtry     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Agreed with you Jessica, and like MB said there is a thin line between helping and becoming an enabler.

Also agree with your Randall, but as you said no need for name calling.

@faith, yes i mean there should be places addicts who got an 'enlightenment' moment can go to, to get off the drugs without any fear.

Look at The Netherlands, drugs are illegal there as they should be, however they have a whole different set of laws, like a pragmatic approach when dealing with it, so drug crimes are less likely there, and help for users are more appropriate.
I know more people that got hurt by drug users than i do addicts, so naturally i can't help but bring that 'energy' into the picture.
And yes more rehabs is always a good start.

IP: Logged

Jessica2407
Knowflake

Posts: 3193
From: Saturn
Registered: Sep 2012

posted July 26, 2013 12:33 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Jessica2407     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
^ Yeah that can help. But it would also mean that the problem is becoming 'bigger'. EVERYTHING is business nowadays. Do you think rehabilitation centers would like to go out of business?

If a company is certified OHSAS,( and I think there is another management system that requires it)they have to make sure to properly cater to the health welfare of their staff.If someone is suspected to be addicted to alcohol or any other drugs,the management should place this person in some sort of rehabilitation program and have a follow up.However,the management will be only lenient if the person shows a strong will to beat this addiction.In the event that it is not so,they have the right to take disciplinary actions. All fair and square.

IP: Logged

jellyfishtry
Knowflake

Posts: 845
From: LaLa land
Registered: Apr 2013

posted July 26, 2013 01:16 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for jellyfishtry     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
^^ True true, just occured to me it is much easier in a small European country, when it is easy to track things, and see where all the taxes are going, than it is in a place as large and hard to 'follow through' when it comes to seeing the wood from the trees as the US (well at least for me, but i am an outsider, so naturally won't find it so easy to understand some things instantly)

On the other hand, one thing the NSA scandal is telling me, is that 'they' know who the drug dealers, addicts and all in between really are....so away from one country versus another...it is heartbreaking to know that these things could be stopped, but they aren't....

IP: Logged


This topic is 3 pages long:   1  2  3 

All times are Eastern Standard Time

next newest topic | next oldest topic

Administrative Options: Close Topic | Archive/Move | Delete Topic
Post New Topic  Post A Reply
Hop to:

Contact Us | Linda-Goodman.com

Copyright 2000-2013

Powered by Infopop www.infopop.com © 2000
Ultimate Bulletin Board 5.46a