posted September 15, 2013 08:56 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Catalina:
It is when you are actively looking for disrespect so much that you see it where it is not. Criticism and disrespect are not the same thing. As in, some people have disagreements with our country's relationship with Israel, and with Israeli policies.. this is not dissing your heritage unless you CHOOSE to interpret it that way.

Anyway, it is yourself you are really hurting, when you realize that, hate goes out the door.

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I don't want to get into specifics Catalina.
The last line is true though and I appreciate your contributions here because I feel they are from a pure heart to me, personally, and that means a lot to me

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posted September 15, 2013 09:50 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Catalina:
Anyway, it is yourself you are really hurting, when you realize that, hate goes out the door.

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Yep. I don't want to sound like the bad guy or anything but discovering how you can cope with your son's death is key.
Otherwise, these same people could do it again, and again, or someone completely different could. You give them that power.
You're allowing them power over you. That love was between you and your son. They knew nothing of it, had no experience with it. Their words are meaningless. Just like if someone says stuff about my mom. I'm like, "whatever. They have no idea who my mom is. It doesn't matter".

Realize how meaningless anything that they say about your son and his death are. Their words are nothing. They stirred up the hurt that you hold and your coping is to hate them.
I understand it completely. I've done the same for different reasons. I'm just trying to be objective. It's not really about them as I doubt these people mean very much to you. Your son does/did. That's what needs addressed.
Even if you could exact revenge, you might feel better about what they did, but the deep rooted cause, your sons death, would still be a vulnerability.
I think you need to dig deep to find strength with this.

Just my opinions.

posted September 15, 2013 09:58 PM            

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posted September 15, 2013 10:01 PM            

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posted September 16, 2013 02:55 AM            

The word "hate" does not exist in my vocabulary.

I have used "loathe."

But I do not like hate.

It is such a negative word, a negative vibe and I think, well, from experience, when one "hates" one recieves "hate?"

But, that is my Pisces, my (spineless) as my youngest likes to call it...sense of being, but hate is just not a word, an emotion I can connect with...

t~

posted September 16, 2013 07:14 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by lilithpluto:
when i hate someone, i avoid them or cut them fr my life cos my hatred makes me want that person's death to appease the hurt that i suffered.

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My girl

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posted September 16, 2013 07:29 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Padre35:

Hate...brings a sort of energy

It is powerful, the larger power is love

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True, Padre.

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posted September 16, 2013 07:30 AM            

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posted September 16, 2013 07:38 AM            

I don't work up a hatred if someone disses me except for the person( people) who dissed my son's death but that was bad.

If someone hates me, I kind of move on. I realize that if you have a definite identity, some people will not like you, but others will love you.

I find that with my writing. Some people tell me it stinks and in the next moment, someone will tell me they love it.

I get this with most everything. Some people love how I do Astrology. Some people think I am too black and white.

I saw that when I first came on and someone dissed IQ. This person could not say a single thing clearly but had the bollas to diss IQ who is a master and CAN articulate clearly.

That person is gone and IQ is still going strong.

I realized I wanted to be like IQ and I try to be.

However, the point is that I don't really care if people don't like me for whatever reason.

It is the stupidity of people taking down this country and the world.

I feel out of control to stop it and angry.

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posted September 16, 2013 10:09 AM            

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posted September 16, 2013 04:01 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Catalina:
Your feelings are your own. As long as you justify your hatred by what other people are doing you are not owning your life. Hate saps only your strength. And twists your perceptions.

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This is totally great in theory as are most things but do you do it

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posted September 16, 2013 05:33 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Catalina:
Yes, sweetie, it is not theory to me bit a truth forged over many years' experience. I used to confusr my feelings with others' words/actions until one day I realized that what they thought of me, as the saying goes, was neither my problem nor my business

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That is very cool. I am happy for you and that is the place we all need to get. No joke

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posted September 18, 2013 10:54 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Randall:
I don't hate anyone.

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I believe that, knowing you, Randall.

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posted September 19, 2013 10:33 AM            

I tried to get the hose for the other part of the garden to reach and it was kinking and wouldn't.

I felt so frustrated and upset. Then, I realized that part of my being so stressed is hating people.

I hate 2 people only. One is my mother. The other is someone else who is covert like my mother.

I don't hate someone who comes up to my face and tells me they don't like me. I respect directness.

If you stand for anything, some people won't like you or even hate you.

That doesn't bother me like the people who sneak around and jab you and act like they did nothing and try to make you look like you did.

However, I will do what the Bible tells you to do which is pray for your enemies.

However, that brings me to not letting myself be abused by them. I will stand up by strength NOT by hatred.

However, I will stand up but I don't need hatred to stand up.

I need boundaries and strength.

Thanks for letting me talk, being there and posting

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posted September 19, 2013 10:39 AM            

It is weak to hate and you don't need it to stand up and push someone off you.

You can do that by sheer force of will.

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posted September 19, 2013 02:24 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Catalina:
Yes in fact hate BINDS you to the person. So if you want to transcend your relationship with your mother, and not turn INTO her, you have your key...

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You are right, Catalina but somehow I don't think you practice what you preach

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posted September 19, 2013 02:25 PM            

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