posted December 23, 2013 02:08 PM            

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Originally posted by meissieri:
Thank you, that means a lot to me. <3 I've worked hard to express my sensitivity well enough and it's what saved me from becoming bitter and angry at everyone. Wouldn't change it for a thing. I was just unlucky to grow up in a family who thought my problems were just me being a baby and overdramatic. Just to point out, I have PDD-NOS. I call it the "odd one out" amongst the other subtypes.

About the abuse, yeah, thanks again. I'm trying to cope. It was a big step for me to realize and accept it happened.

Yes, I do think it all depends on the person and how they want to cope with their problems. Not going to lie and excuse here, I've met plenty of autistic people who just really wouldn't even try to get along with others or work on their tact - it just had to be their way all the time. Looking back, I guess they just gave up. It's sad. Sad for me having to put up with their bs for so long too. :P

So maybe that's the issue here? The extreme types just don't bother anymore? (I think they all tried once, but got too discouraged to try again.) It does make me wonder too, don't worry, I'm not offended (or at Pixie or Padre for questioning it).

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posted December 23, 2013 02:38 PM            

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Originally posted by meissieri:
Hmm, I wouldn't call it faking. That'd mean putting up an act. No, I guess... at some point, you learn these things and it starts coming naturally. You can really start feeling it and that's often when things start to pick up.

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You said it far better than I could.

Sometimes, you have to take it on the chin to learn.

My quibble is society despises texture in people and "wants" people to be "normal"

Perhaps "normal" is not the best thing for everyone, perhaps genius is exposed via not being like everyone else.

When one looks at the great minds in history, the ones who created seminal moments for mankind..they were not "normal"

Sun Tzu for example, once his King had achieved his goal, the opponents capital city was conquered then sacked he was so disgusted by the armies behavior he retired..he went away rather than be a part of such atrocities.

posted December 23, 2013 02:44 PM            

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:

There's a very simple explanation for that..people on the spectrum learn how to fake normal.

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posted December 23, 2013 02:47 PM            

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Originally posted by Faith:
Don't we all have to fake normal?

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Which is one of the reasons why such a construct should be kicked down.

posted December 23, 2013 02:54 PM            

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Originally posted by meissieri:
But... you do eventually learn these things. Like in your posts, you talk about making all of these mistakes - which is awful and embarrassing - but now you've learnt to pass for normal, right? So you did pick up a thing or two. It would've been a lot easier with more support and people pointing these things out immediately, but you did manage.

Edit: Aside from those two insults, which I didn't like by the way.

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posted December 23, 2013 03:06 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by meissieri:
Thank you, that means a lot to me. <3

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You're welcome, you earn the compliment every time you post and it's a pleasure to read your opinions.

quote:

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Originally posted by meissieri:
I was just unlucky to grow up in a family who thought my problems were just me being a baby and overdramatic. Just to point out, I have PDD-NOS. I call it the "odd one out" amongst the other subtypes.

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What is PDD-NOS, if you don't mind me asking?

quote:

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Originally posted by meissieri:
Yes, I do think it all depends on the person and how they want to cope with their problems.

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posted December 23, 2013 03:09 PM            

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Originally posted by Padre35:
Which is one of the reasons why such a construct should be kicked down.

"If" you have to fake who you really are, something is very wrong

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Faking normal I said.

Blame society for that...social norms go against nature, and it's not my fault. If I said what was really on my mind all the time, I would be a total outcast and hermit.

posted December 23, 2013 03:41 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by meissieri:
Well, I do sympathize a lot actually. But I do see the other side of the story and it doesn't help that I've met a few who really didn't bother, and that was crushing.

I agreed with the others on that it may not always look like we're trying but just not keeping up. But of course our problem is real, and it's a million times harder than it looks on the outside. Sorry, I should've mentioned that. I just thought that went without saying?

But there are people like that, and they are the reason it's so hard for people who do try to be noticed and acknowledged. They made the choice to give up and just go against everyone else. Maybe they tried for years, but finally decided to just say, "I don't care anymore". Maybe they really couldn't do it. I don't know. It makes it look like we use it as an excuse and that was what I agreed with the other posters on.

And like Padre said, you can make some steps and get better at it. I'm sure you're not the same person you were 10 years ago. Having to do that on your own, by trial and error and with little support is rough and that should be said. It's a shame it had to be through making mistakes, getting a bad image and especially hurting people you were trying to be liked and accepted by.

It does get better. Just slowly but surely.

Just because some of them used it as an excuse doesn't mean I can't see the ones who do try their best.

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posted December 23, 2013 04:31 PM            

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Originally posted by Faith:
Faking normal I said.

Blame society for that...social norms go against nature, and it's not my fault. If I said what was really on my mind all the time, I would be a total outcast and hermit.

Nuts to that, I'll just use discretion and reap the benefits.

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It IS your fault though!

posted December 23, 2013 04:36 PM            

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by meissieri:
[b]Well, I do sympathize a lot actually. But I do see the other side of the story and it doesn't help that I've met a few who really didn't bother, and that was crushing.

I agreed with the others on that it may not always look like we're trying but just not keeping up. But of course our problem is real, and it's a million times harder than it looks on the outside. Sorry, I should've mentioned that. I just thought that went without saying?

But there are people like that, and they are the reason it's so hard for people who do try to be noticed and acknowledged. They made the choice to give up and just go against everyone else. Maybe they tried for years, but finally decided to just say, "I don't care anymore". Maybe they really couldn't do it. I don't know. It makes it look like we use it as an excuse and that was what I agreed with the other posters on.

And like Padre said, you can make some steps and get better at it. I'm sure you're not the same person you were 10 years ago. Having to do that on your own, by trial and error and with little support is rough and that should be said. It's a shame it had to be through making mistakes, getting a bad image and especially hurting people you were trying to be liked and accepted by.

It does get better. Just slowly but surely.

Just because some of them used it as an excuse doesn't mean I can't see the ones who do try their best.

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Just..ugh..this special snowflake stuff drives me up the wall

I give everyone their due, if one has issues, that is fine, that is the way you are...to make special accommodation is the sort of thing that drives me up the wall.

posted December 23, 2013 04:57 PM            

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Originally posted by Padre35:
Just..ugh..this special snowflake stuff drives me up the wall

I give everyone their due, if one has issues, that is fine, that is the way you are...to make special accommodation is the sort of thing that drives me up the wall.

I'll accept anyone as they are, will NEVER use a condition as an excuse..no not once

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posted December 23, 2013 05:16 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Padre35:
It IS your fault though!

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posted December 23, 2013 05:45 PM            

Well that's just weird. Everyone I know hates some food or another, or they're vegetarians, or they're allergic to gluten or nuts, and while some people lack tact about it, there's no force-feeding going on.

As for learning about Asperger's, I actually have read some books about it, but that's no substitute for knowing someone with the condition, and it's not like we all have access to Aspies that we can learn from.

posted December 23, 2013 07:02 PM            

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Originally posted by Faith:
My fault society is boring? Oh because of my Capricorn sun? Yeah, we have done our damage collectively, haven't we?

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posted December 23, 2013 09:34 PM            

And I'd like to also point out that I don't think differences are bad even if it does make one socially awkward. Someone here has pointed out Einstein is thought to have had Aspergers and I believe he's been thought to have other "disorders" as well and frankly I think it's a GOOD thing he wasn't "cured." One of the most brilliant lectures I heard about diagnosing children (actually about "schools killing creativity" which I know a few here have seen) is that one girl kept moving around in class causing her school to say she couldn't concentrate and disturbed other kids so her mom took her to doctors to figure out what was wrong with her until one said, "She's a dancer, enroll her in dance school" (or words to that effect) and thus the world came to know Gillian Lynne, and that solved the problem a lot better than any pill would've. And some simply have a different learning style (or different rate of learning with learning too fast just as likely to cause problems as learning too slow) that is incompatible with the "one size fits all" schooling we have now.

posted December 23, 2013 10:17 PM            

I think it may be treatable in some cases (thinking of Jenny McCarthy healing her son's autism now.)

ETA: My oldest son has some Aspie traits. I've never had him tested because he's so high functioning, but he follows the pattern in a subtle way. So I have noticed this first-hand...the progression from lining up toys meticulously in his crib to the huge vocabulary and toe walking, to some social difficulties. I'll bet he will meet people in life, eventually, who ask him if he has Asperger's.

posted December 24, 2013 06:03 AM            

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Originally posted by Faith:
When you hear the symptoms for Aspergers and then you see how they go together in real life...even though the behaviors seem totally unrelated...from walking on the toes, to lining up toys, flapping the arms, and clinging to rituals (Rain Man was full-blown autistic but I've noticed aspies can be like that with interests or conversation topics)...and in more advanced stages, the loss of eye contact...also the need to "stim" to block out the overload of stimuli...to me, it's persuasive enough evidence that something similar is going on in the brains of all these people on the spectrum. There's no other way I can rationalize this pattern of seemingly disparate behaviors manifesting predictably...it has to be something concrete and biological.

I think it may be treatable in some cases (thinking of Jenny McCarthy healing her son's autism now.)

ETA: My oldest son has some Aspie traits. I've never had him tested because he's so high functioning, but he follows the pattern in a subtle way. So I have noticed this first-hand...the progression from lining up toys meticulously in his crib to the huge vocabulary and toe walking, to some social difficulties. I'll bet he will meet people in life, eventually, who ask him if he has Asperger's.

I think there is often an Aquarius/Uranus connection with Aspergers...he has a pretty tight Mars-Neptune-SN conjunction in early Aquarius, conjunct my Mercury.

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posted December 24, 2013 08:26 AM            

Sorry you lost out on services that would have been helpful and valuable to you.

That does suck.