posted January 11, 2014 10:30 PM            

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Originally posted by Kerosene:
Yeah the tension between black and white is ridiculously intense sometimes..

I use to work in retail and noticed some black customers would give tude towards white coworkers and freak them out and behave quite pleasant and normal towards me.
Seeing my bambi like co workers trembling was not fun, so I would try and take over.
I definitely don't like people preying on the weak that's for sure.

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I know the kind you're talking about. OTOH, my BFF is one of the sweetest people you could ever hope to meet (and also small) and yet I've seen white women flinch when she like reached into her purse and one politician running for a local seat accidentally mispronounced her name and when the politician was sweetly told how to pronounce it correctly the politician backed away stuttering apologies and practically ran. And then there was a landlady who thought she was a drug dealer and didn't believe me about how my BFF is an administrative assistant with a talent working with computers. It's absurd, and it's not that my BFF pops a tude. Naturally a lot more subtle racism gets displayed toward her as well. (She gets called an "oreo" a lot by AA, too.)

posted January 11, 2014 10:57 PM            

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
I know more than one who've come to hate the O-word ("oreo" or "white on the inside") more than the N-word, though one on YT embraced it as a term of pride meaning she was pulling herself up by her bootstraps rather than laying in the gutter as everything white racists (and AA who have internalized white racism against themselves, even if they sometimes take a twisted pride in it) say she should be.

And just to be clear they don't like how the N-word is "reclaimed" either (especially as they've noticed it often gets used in a demeaning or hostile way), so it's not like they think it's fine to use even in hip hop, they actually seem to take more offense at the N-word than most AA, but still hate the O-word even more.

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I highly dislike the N-word as well. I don't even associate myself with people who use it. Surprisingly I used to listen to hip hop/rap when I was younger but gladly my mom talked some sense into me lol. That word needs to just become extinct rather than "reclaimed".

The word oreo isn't the worst imo of things slurred to each other in the AA community though. I'm not really offended as more than just amazed at the ignorance of people who use that term to describe people who don't act ghetto or stereotypical (because basically they don't realize that they're just saying that ghetto and stereotypical is all black is).

posted January 12, 2014 01:46 AM            

It strikes me as very silly tbh

When did adults land at a place that "O word" or what have you is somehow an acceptable way of repeating..what has been heard before?

posted January 12, 2014 02:58 AM            

Thank you for all the responses, means a lot! My gut is telling me to sit back for a while so I will.

Yes, we haven't known eachother for that long which is why I don't want to move in with him elsewhere in US when I just left the place although I will return at some point.

As a ref (not sure this will matter) he dated a 22 year younger woman (he's 47) for 5 years. It ended 2 years ago. Age aside, they both did a number on eachother; she was young and wanted to have fun and he was working hard with his then company and he had put her in a position where she was kinda working for him. It ended with stolen money, fingernails in flesh, cops and whatnot.

posted January 12, 2014 12:46 PM            

I'd walk away or you'll likely be facing more of that same in the future. It has little to do with you, he has an issue with himself.

posted January 12, 2014 01:32 PM            

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Originally posted by DeepFreeze:
I know it's difficult for you but honestly I would just stay away.
To me it sounds like he has some issues with himself and there's no reason to take heat for it.
I stay way from people like that. If they have to pull that sh*t then they obviously never knew me.

I'd walk away or you'll likely be facing more of that same in the future. It has little to do with you, he has an issue with himself.

You could put in the effort to reassure him. Be nice, calm, honest, reassuring, if it's important to you.

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posted January 12, 2014 01:56 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by DeepFreeze:
I know it's difficult for you but honestly I would just stay away.
To me it sounds like he has some issues with himself and there's no reason to take heat for it.
I stay way from people like that. If they have to pull that sh*t then they obviously never knew me.

I'd walk away or you'll likely be facing more of that same in the future. It has little to do with you, he has an issue with himself.

You could put in the effort to reassure him. Be nice, calm, honest, reassuring, if it's important to you.

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Great advice DF

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