posted April 26, 2014 02:25 AM            

Maybe but so many people are socially unintelligent.
-_-
They suffer so much in life because of it.

like how about you not blow up my phone with random stupid crap and get all offended when I ignore you.

^ That's probably people like this complain about having no friends

So yeah it's funny how people can be so bright but so dim socially. Which in my opinion is the most important skill for survival as a human.. It's amazing how much you can achieve by knowing what to say and how to behave in certain situations.
Idk if it's acquired through experience or genetics.

posted April 29, 2014 07:40 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
I think the concept of social skills is overrated. It forces people to be a square peg in a round hole. Its like why should I pretend to like people when I dont?

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posted April 29, 2014 07:50 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Sibyl:
Because it's nicer for everyone.

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posted April 29, 2014 07:52 PM            

I get flubbed up in situations like deciding if I should interrupt people while they're working to say hello if I have just arrived at work. I ere on the side of not wanting to disturb them. It's not that I hate the person, I'm trying to not interrupt their focus but some people have thought I'm purposely ignoring their presence and started ignoring me in return. . .yeah difficulties there.

I've recently met a man that takes everything his wife means literally so she'll be sarcastic and say "No, I don't want you to come visit me while I'm sick in the hospital, I'd rather you went out and had fun with your friends!" to which he responds "Oh, okay. I love you and I'll see you tomorrow!"

posted April 29, 2014 08:18 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by MsPrism:
Well, that is the difference between your Intelligence Quotient and your Emotional Quotient. IQ versus EQ.
http://testyourself.psychtests.com/testid/3038

I get flubbed up in situations like deciding if I should interrupt people while they're working to say hello if I have just arrived at work. I ere on the side of not wanting to disturb them. It's not that I hate the person, I'm trying to not interrupt their focus but some people have thought I'm purposely ignoring their presence and started ignoring me in return. . .yeah difficulties there.

I've recently met a man that takes everything his wife means literally so she'll be sarcastic and say "No, I don't want you to come visit me while I'm sick in the hospital, I'd rather you went out and had fun with your friends!" to which he responds "Oh, okay. I love you and I'll see you tomorrow!"

So yeah, emotional intelligence versus intellectual intelligence. We can't escape polarities.

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posted April 29, 2014 08:19 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
The way I see it people arent doing you any favors by acting polite and proper to your face and sticking needles in your back when you arent around.

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posted April 29, 2014 08:42 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Sibyl:
You are establishing a false connection here. A socially intelligent person would not do this. It is simply not a very smart thing to do.

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Yeah, just because I don't like someone, it doesn't mean that I'm going to go around and talk a bunch of sh*t about them behind their backs.

Now...if it's someone I absolutely have to be around on a regular basis, I will vent to family members or something, but I try not to vent with people who actually know the other person, or are likely to meet them or know who they are.

posted April 29, 2014 08:58 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Sibyl:
You are establishing a false connection here. A socially intelligent person would not do this. It is simply not a very smart thing to do.

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posted April 29, 2014 09:01 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Violets:
Yeah, just because I don't like someone, it doesn't mean that I'm going to go around and talk a bunch of sh*t about them behind their backs.

Now...if it's someone I absolutely have to be around on a regular basis, I will vent to family members or something, but I try not to vent with people who actually know the other person, or are likely to meet them or know who they are.

I'm not perfect, but that's what I try for.

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posted April 29, 2014 09:39 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Sibyl:
I don't think it's an either or question. Besides these are just two of a number of different intelligence quotients. You can also measure degrees of integrative complexity on a scale from one to six, for example. I find that these are usually much more helpful than the classical IQ measure. It shows how willing you are to listen to what other people are saying and to account for dissonant information, meaning how good you are at listening to things you don't like to hear.

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I don't think it should be either or.

posted April 29, 2014 10:21 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:

But you are still kind of proving my point. You say you might vent about them to your family. Why not vent to them if you have problems with them? This is where I have issues with people.

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Well, let's take a coworker for example. Sometimes it's better to just not say anything, rather than to actually tell someone "Hey, you know what? I think you're a complete imbecile and I can't stand your personality".

No matter how I word that, even if I'm polite and use specific examples of ways that I think it would be better if they did x, y, or z, some people are just not open to criticism, whether it's constructive or not.

Also, sometimes I vent about family members to people like my husband, or a completely different side of the family who never interacts with the side I'm venting about (I'm basically always venting about my mom's side of the family, for the record, not really my dad's ever).

I try not to paint a terrible picture of anyone, but sometimes I'm just...really annoyed.
You may notice that I talk about some of that stuff here. Where no one knows anyone that I'm related to (as far as I'm aware, and except for my best friend of 34 years who occasionally pops her head in).

And it doesn't do any good to tell the people in question, because they have absolutely zero capacity to hear constructive criticism or any type of feedback in general without becoming really nasty and just acting like @ssholes.

Also, I'm quite aware of the fact that I'm not perfect, so I might be mad, but who am I to tell someone else how they should act? Setting boundaries when I have to is about as far as I'll go with that, and it has to affect me or my son in a big way in order for that to happen.

So, if I have to be around someone on a regular basis, and I know that they're not open to hearing what I have to say to begin with, I think it's better to vent to people who either don't know them, or will probably never see them in person.

Now, if they were open to contemplating what I had to say and not acting like idiots, that might be a little bit different.

But personally, I also require communication with other people to really work things out in my own head sometimes.
I think that maybe it's part of having Mercury conjunct my POF and Dsc, I'm not sure.

posted April 29, 2014 10:36 PM            

I'm not very good with confrontations on a personal level. My husband and I are fine with expressing our feelings, because neither one of us is going anywhere, so there's no choice but to hash it all out and clear the air.

But I tend to really let people have it in a very blunt, often hurtful fashion when I'm mad, and I have absolutely no patience for denial or self-delusion. I can be very cutting with my words, because I just don't feel the need to sugar coat things for people if I think they're being stupid, thoughtless, hypocritical, etc.

So it's often best if I just don't say anything, especially if the person in question isn't open to hearing it.

posted April 29, 2014 11:24 PM            

Venting is a bit like gossip, so I've been trying to keep that to a minimum, or at least make it as anonymous as possible.

If I need to vent about someone though, I'd rather do it with people who don't know the person I'm venting about. Likewise, if someone else wants to vent about me, I'd prefer to remain anonymous to the person on the receiving end of the venting.

Gossip sucks. I recently had a friend (more of an acquaintance) trying to "vent" about some woman at the playground we take our kids to.

I didn't know the woman she was talking about, thankfully, but I felt compelled to let the acquaintance know that sh*t talking was one of the reasons I stopped going (besides the fact that my son got bored of it).
The women there can be gossipy, which makes me want to b*tchslap them when I overhear them talking about some mom who's just doing her best like every other mom. Especially when the ones most prone to talking about people behind their backs are the ones who are committee members for the organization.

People are stupid sometimes.

I suppose it just depends on what type of person you are, in the end. I try not to gossip, and I've had to realize that venting can be a form of gossip, because I've seen other people do it and realized that's what I'm doing, to some degree.

It's obviously not ethically sound to go around talking sh*t about people behind their backs to people who know them, or will eventually meet them. It's like a petty form of slander, in a sense. I'm very wary of people who do that, and I've become a lot more selective about who I "vent" to over the years.
Because nothing sucks as badly as being a hypocrite. So I try not to be one.
("Try" being the operative word there.)

posted April 30, 2014 12:09 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
Beer goggles

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posted April 30, 2014 01:16 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by StarlightSmileSupreme:
Now I have seen monkeys do this and it's disgusting! What monkeys will do is grab their feces in their hands and place it on your arm.

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posted April 30, 2014 07:30 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Sibyl:
[b] You are establishing a false connection here. A socially intelligent person would not do this. It is simply not a very smart thing to do.

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Who said the popular crowd was socially intelligent? I think you will find that the popular kids in highschool are not not necessarily well liked, nor will they necessarily do very well later in life. If they were so socially smart, there wouldn't be so much drama. You can't equate popularity to social intelligence!

posted April 30, 2014 07:34 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by MsPrism:
I don't think it should be either or.

I'd like to find out my Integrative Complexity score, sounds interesting. Thanks!

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posted April 30, 2014 08:43 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Sibyl:
It's usually measured using something called "The Paragraph Completion Test" PCT, by psychologists. Usually only in scientific research though, not as part of therapy. It also requires an unbiased (integratively complex), certified person to "judge" it, which is difficult to find. So it's quite hard to measure, but I think it is an interesting concept. You will find that any extremist person does not score very high for example. I think libras in general would do quite well

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Psychometrics? Libras? Ha ha. Not me, definitely.

posted April 30, 2014 01:00 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Sibyl:
Who said the popular crowd was socially intelligent? I think you will find that the popular kids in highschool are not not necessarily well liked, nor will they necessarily do very well later in life. If they were so socially smart, there wouldn't be so much drama. You can't equate popularity to social intelligence!

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