posted May 11, 2014 07:45 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
The end game would be that I am bad somehow. I have to beg that I will be a good housekeeper and take care of them or I have to get angry that she is gonna give them to other people after telling me I can have them. Either way, I lose. She will argue that I AM a bad housekeeper. She will argue that I can't have all of them because I don't need all of them, so she always looks good and I always look bad.

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posted May 11, 2014 07:48 PM            

I admire your approach to life. You are really on the ball. I wish I could be more like that

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posted May 11, 2014 07:58 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
[b]I have both sometimes but Saturn is in Leo conjunction mc I thought explained my fear of letting go.

This is a classic 5th House Chiron. My intuition is that you have a 5th house chiron

[/B]

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6th house does kind of make sense and I don't think my tob can be to amiss. But Chiron in 5th puts Venus on desc which seems to fit. I think I need to let it settle around me and see which does come forward most.

posted May 11, 2014 08:31 PM            

My mom is very manipulative and controlling, although she has her good points as well.

She's great about just giving me things that were my grandma's, as I was very close to my grandma...but with most things, there's some sort of attempted guilt trip /inflammatory comment /personal jab /whatever (fill in the blank involved.
There is also often some sort of "well, if you did _________ (some thing that she wants me to do differently), then I would do __________ for you".

I tend to just bail out of those conversations with her if I'm able, although sometimes she still gets me riled, and I can be very abrupt with her.

I feel badly for my mom a lot of the time, as she really needs help right now with many things on her plate, but she is so difficult to be around that we're not helping her the way that I wish we could.

posted May 11, 2014 08:35 PM            

I love you, too, and your post was very healing to me

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posted May 11, 2014 10:57 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
Aww Violets

I love you, too, and your post was very healing to me

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posted May 11, 2014 11:07 PM            

Personally, I chalk it up to her energy (or maybe it's that she has Moon conjunct Pholus, and both are conjunct my Mars...but I have that with other people, at least the Pholus part, and they don't bother me at all).

Anyway, she tries the irksome, manipulative bullying behavior with my son, and I have to call her out on it (sometimes quite rudely) on a regular basis.

So she has realized that I will call her out on it, and she has subsequently revamped her method of operation with him, so that it's a bit more subtle.

It's always one of those "Oh, I'm just teasing", or "Oh, you take things too seriously" things with her (one of her pet peeves with other people, I might add...the "I'm just teasing, but not really" type of harassment), so I have to just cut it off at the start.

So now that I see that she's changed her strategy (and my son has become closer to her, so the poor little guy will tend to allow her to do it), I will have to start calling her out on that as well.

It's vexing that she has these mentally cruel tendencies, but I know that she has good points as well. I know that she loves us, and she has a lot to offer.

But I also know that she's probably not particularly interested in changing her behavior, so I have to just set really firm boundaries with her.

Her and my son were sort of butting heads for a minute today, and I swear it was like mediating for TWO toddlers, instead of one toddler and a grown fricking adult.

Ugh.
Please don't quote, I may edit this later.
I feel badly if I vent about her even on here, sometimes. I know that she tries, and I know that she did her best when I was a little girl.
It's unfortunate that we often end up scarred in spite of the good intentions.

posted May 11, 2014 11:17 PM            

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posted May 11, 2014 11:37 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
You gave me a lot of peace, Violets. I am going to bed and I know I am not alone and not crazy. Thank you, Friend and love you.

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posted May 12, 2014 01:43 AM            

Here's an example. One of her sisters helped clear out her house so she could have a garage sale (she is a hoarder) for free because they are related and all.

The Aunt who helped would have liked to have this pottery that was worth some but not that much and offered her money for it because she fancied it. She wouldn't have attempted to resell it, that's not like her, but it was worth something and thus more valuable than other items and she can't help but be attracted to quality.

Instead of offering it to the one who did most of the work, Belittling Aunt gives it to a woman who promised to take a lot of the unsold clutter but never came back after she made off with the pottery.

Helper Aunt was left with the chore of removing the remaining, practically worthless, stuff. She got virtually nothing out of helping except rudeness and disdain (even though she didn't offer to help hoping to get anything of value, her sister just happened to be selling so many belongings due to excessive clutter and the need to move into a small apartment from a larger rental house) while a stranger made off with some valuable pottery for free and didn't fulfill her promise. The stranger wasn't interested in it as a keepsake either, just something to hold onto until she could sell it for as much money as possible.

posted May 12, 2014 07:31 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Violets:
Ps.
Happy Mother's Day to you, Ami.

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Aww You, too Violets

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posted May 12, 2014 07:36 AM            

You know what I was gonna ask Violets, to put up her mother's chart.

before she does, let me say what I think are astrological markers of a person like this

1. low water--has to be some issues with empathy

2. Sun/Merc--close combust--very self centered

3. Cold Moon- Aqua or Libra. If there is not a classic cold Moon, the Moon will have aspects making it into a low empathy Moon.

4. Moon has something really, really negative such as Moon conj Sado or Moon conjunct Nessus.

5. Moon oppose Chiron seems almost to link emotions/deep feeling with pain.My mother has this and so I started looking at this aspect in the mix.

4. Jupiter has afflictions. JUpiter is conscience. Two sociopaths I know have every planet in hard aspect to Jupiter except one. The other sociopath, as she calls herself, has 3-4 strong jupiter afflictions. My other sociopath friend has 3-4 also.

For a person to be really mean to others, there has to be low empathy and low conscience imo

5. Uranus has afflictions--Uranus is shocking and many of these people like to shock and jar other people

My mother's chart has these as part of her profile. It would be very interesting to compare Violets mother if she wants to put the chart up.

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posted May 12, 2014 07:53 AM            

1. Very low water

2. A Uranus such that the person likes to shock/rile up others. One example could be Uranus oppose Jupiter

3. Jupiter with 3 or more hard aspects
3 Cold Moon--Libra or Aqua or perhaps Cappy or another Moon with aspects making it low in empathy

4. Moon has some very negative asteroid such as Sado conjunct it

5. Sun/Merc combust

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posted May 12, 2014 11:31 AM            

My mom doesn't have a lot of what you're describing, Ami...but she has other stuff that probably adds to it.
But then, I would simply describe her as having mild Borderline Personality Disorder. I know that she had a traumatizing childhood, worse than mine ever was by far...and she does not like to own up to her behavior, so therapy didn't seem to do much for her.

Nessus conjunct Dsc by a 0.22 degree orb.

Scorpio Asc (not used positively at all).

Pluto (chart Ruler) conjunct Sado.

I haven't been up for long, so I'll need more coffee, ha. But maybe those asteroids play a key role in the way that she is? I'm never quite sure what to make of some of the asteroids, honestly.

But just judging by the names, and what you've said about them, it seems to fit.

posted May 12, 2014 02:21 PM            

Pluto conj Sado--Pluto seems to give power to the "weak" asteroids. I have it conj Deja and I HATE bullying. I have bullied, maybe, 5 times in my whole life, when I was a kid. I think it is sooo cowardly. I stand up against bullies, as people have seen on here So, Pluto gives strength to my Deja.

However, Pluto may be like Jupiter. It gives strength to the weak but makes nuclear powered the bad asteroids such as Sado and Nessus.

Jupiter does this. It magnifies what it touches, for good or bad.

I am thinking that Pluto makes nuclear powered what it touches so she would be a nuclear powered sado, which sounds like she may be.

Now, for YOU, this complex is conj your ASC, which is awful lol

What does her Pluto/Sado do to your son?

What is her Moon?

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posted May 12, 2014 02:24 PM            

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posted May 12, 2014 09:26 PM            

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posted May 12, 2014 10:29 PM            

A very annoying configuration there.

posted May 12, 2014 10:33 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Violets:
She has Pholus conjunct her Cap Moon, which are both conjunct my Mars.

A very annoying configuration there.

I haven't compared her chart with my son's just yet. She's not here very often, so I generally just call her out when I need to, and leave it at that. *sigh...*

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Man --Pholus conj the Moon. Does she have tirades when she lets it all rip?

YOUR Mars conj this???? Man, if I believed in past lives, I would say you have used up most of your karma in this one

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posted May 12, 2014 10:59 PM            

I inherited her Sun opposite Moon (different signs and houses), and I have Pholus conjunct my Sun (nothing weird conjunct my Moon, that I'm aware of).

Just lovely, right?

posted May 13, 2014 06:59 AM            

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posted May 14, 2014 09:56 AM            

For us to have a shift from the old way of thinking is HUGE. Without that shift, we are kind of stuck in robotic.

People tell others to change but this is not wisdom. Only love heals. Harshness does not. That is immaturity and lack of humility imo

However, love does and can heal.

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posted May 14, 2014 11:39 AM            

I still do things that make me cringe on the inside, even if it's just opening my mouth and saying something to someone when I could word it better, or just not say anything...or if it's because I don't do enough of this, that, or the other thing, or I do too much of it, or whatever.

Healing is a process, and we all struggle on different levels with it.

I really do believe that love does heal. Thank God I've had that in my life, and I have it in my life today.