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Author Topic:   Hatred Toward You
Ami Anne
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Posts: 55907
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted July 10, 2014 07:00 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I wrote about this in the other thread. What I am feeling is bigger than anything that happened on here or happens on here. It is some sort of a re birth of myself.

I think it is about always having to be perfect and "nice", never selfish, and never mean.

I became this mask and threw out these "bad" sides of myself.

Hence, when I get hatred from the outside, it makes me realize that I could never hate because I had to be perfect.


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Ami Anne
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Posts: 55907
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted July 10, 2014 07:02 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I wrote about my mother molesting me when I was too young to speak. I froze a part of me and I was scared to death. I was afraid that if she did anything else to me, I would go insane.

My whole life I have been afraid I would go insane so I held myself tightly, wound up.

I take singing lessons and my teacher said he had never seen anyone so uptight.

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Ami Anne
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Posts: 55907
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted July 10, 2014 07:07 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I am one sided--- no selfishness, no jealousy, no pettiness. All this is pushed away.

It is pushed away and I have anxiety and depression.

I have terrible fears like I am plagued with them.


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http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/

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DeepFreeze
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Posts: 2293
From: Pluto with Barbiegirl19
Registered: Nov 2013

posted July 10, 2014 07:25 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for DeepFreeze     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Ami....

Being real with you. In general...
Not about childhood trauma...
Just in life...in the here and now.

I think you bottle up too much. You say to everyone to learn to ignore and you'll be fine. Just learn to ignore.
As someone with Mars in the 12th... I know about bottling up. As much as it feels like the right thing to do at the time, it's not. Later it catches up and when it does you'll wish you had just faced whatever it was as it came at you.
It's part of why you even get this treatment because you bottle it up yet it comes ooozing out. We all see it.
I mean if you want to yell at your mom, yell at her then. You're not doing yourself ANY favors by holding it in, trying to make the relationship work while stressing you out and talking to us about it. You're better off just go off on your mom if you want.
I'm not suggesting everyone disrespect their mom. I'm quite the opposite but if things bother you. Confront them, and right away. No wonder you're always in some emotional pickle and with cancer moon? Come on... You gotta release.

Christianity... Well I believe and that is a whole different story. I see some exhibit unhealthy behavior, I did it and you're doing it.

I think if you were more true to yourself, loved who you are, REALLY, and were just real about you and others you would get much more respect.

Release... Confront, don't restrict yourself. You don't come across as a real person and people prod you because they are trying to draw it out (and irritate you because you irritate us)
Just put the image down and be yourself.

Edit: jeez I hate having to go over what I typed because my smartphone is an idiot.

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Ami Anne
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Posts: 55907
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted July 10, 2014 07:31 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I feel a little better. Thank you guys for listening.

I appreciate your responding, DF. I don't agree with all of what you said but I do agree with some and appreciate your input.

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Ellynlvx
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Posts: 9154
From: the Point of Light within the Mind of God
Registered: Aug 2013

posted July 10, 2014 07:40 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ellynlvx     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Glad you feel better.

------------------
Love,

Ellyn

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Ami Anne
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Posts: 55907
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted July 10, 2014 07:51 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Ellynlvx:
Glad you feel better.


Thanks. I do. I will write more later, E. Thanks for caring

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WarriorPrincess7
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Posts: 400
From: Island of Sirens
Registered: Jul 2013

posted July 10, 2014 07:57 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for WarriorPrincess7     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Ami,

I think it's important to know that not everybody will like you in life!
Heck, I am 19 and i got that. It's tough but it is what it is. I think a good way to heal this, is to step back and realize you are just one little speck in this universe and don't focus on "omg i am feeling this , now i am feeling this, now this"...its tiring for you, i am sure. Also, step back from your self and travel to other places and see how bad people live, how horrible circumstances people are dealt with. When you volunteer or help others you realize your issues are solvable. Take care!

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Ami Anne
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Posts: 55907
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted July 10, 2014 08:05 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by WarriorPrincess7:
Ami,

I think it's important to know that not everybody will like you in life!
Heck, I am 19 and i got that. It's tough but it is what it is. I think a good way to heal this, is to step back and realize you are just one little speck in this universe and don't focus on "omg i am feeling this , now i am feeling this, now this"...its tiring for you, i am sure. Also, step back from your self and travel to other places and see how bad people live, how horrible circumstances people are dealt with. When you volunteer or help others you realize your issues are solvable. Take care!


Thank you, W. Very true!

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Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.


http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/

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Barbiegirl19
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Posts: 4131
From: Pluto with DeepFreeze
Registered: Jul 2013

posted July 10, 2014 08:06 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Barbiegirl19     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Ami I understand and feel bad that you've gone through what you've gone. We all have pasts and have had bad experiences. What's not cool is when you blame ME and everyone else who doesn't aggree with you or your motives. You can be just as vicious, if not more than you claim I've been. How do you expect me to react when you throw my troubles with alcohol in my face? How do you not see how vicious and wrong that is? I've never said anything that low to you, ever.

I think you need a friend, a true friend who'll let you vent and get all of this out. I agree to an extent of ignoring people with malicious intent, but what you do is not healthy at all. You bottle up everything and passive aggressively attack people. It's not okay and needs to stop.

You can't attack people the way you do and expect courtliness or flattery. The world doesn't work that way. I really liked you at one point and unfortunately I don't see ever liking you again until things change. I don't hate you, I don't hate anyone or very many things. You just really have some serious dark issues.

I found this really awesome website and article that I think will help you. The link is at the bottom.

I send you lots of prayers and hopes of strong will. I hope you find your true self and let go of all the evil.

Individuals who habitually indulge in self-victimisation (also known as playing the victim) do so for various reasons: to control or influence other people’s thoughts, feelings and actions; to justify their abuse of others; to seek attention; or, as a way of coping with situations. Although they can actually change circumstances to avoid being victimised, they won’t seize the opportunity because they want to play the role and appear as victims to others and themselves. The main identifying traits of those who choose to play the victim role include:

They tend to manipulate or abuse others verbally or physically, but then blame the other person (i.e. the real victim) for provoking the abuse.
They influence or control other people’ sympathy to gain compassion or support.
They form friendships or intimate relationships with those who disrespect, mistreat or abuse them to convince themselves and the world of their unfortunate status.
They tend to avoid taking responsibility for their life, instead blaming others for their mistreatment or unfortunate circumstances.
They think and talk a lot about how others take advantage of their kindness.

Negatives:

When in the company of the victim personality, be on the lookout for the following:

Their crippling dependency on friends or co-workers for support and sympathy can be draining, and you cannot be sure if they actually appreciate your sympathetic responses and efforts.
They can evoke anger and aggression in you, especially after you realise you have been duped into giving them sympathy when it should have gone to the real victim of their abuse.
They instinctively draw out the caring, nurturing, and protective qualities in people, only to set them up for manipulation or abuse.
Sometimes they will take extreme measures to get attention, like emptying a spouse’s bank account because they feel neglected or sending hate emails to themselves and then accusing others of sending them.

Positives:

There aren’t many positives to the victim personality, but two ways in which you might benefit from the victim are:

They can make us feel important and valuable. Since they believe they are incapable of taking care of their own needs, they will always need your support with something.
They long to be trustworthy and will make every effort to stick to their promises or complete any tasks you ask of them.


Do you Play the Victim?

You are playing the victim when you often:

Justify your aggression against others by believing they deserve it.
Refuse to take responsibility for your own happiness or misery – it’s the world that’s a bad place, and no one can truly be trusted.
Find yourself in relationships where others mistreat you, so you can feel justified in your victim role.
Nag, complain, harass, and beseech others until they give in to your demands.
Commonly turn to the phrase, “You’re the only one who can help me.”
Sometimes go to extremes to get revenge for perceived or actual abuse, like destroying your own property and falsely accusing someone else of being responsible.
Provoking aggressive behaviour from others, but downplaying or ignoring your role in it.
Feel anxious about the very idea that you can exert a positive influence over your own life without the support of others.

How do I Deal with a Victim?

Initially, it will feel good playing a part in their happiness and joy, but after a while, you will start to avoid their child-like dependency. When you do cut ties with them, they will feel victimised and the cycle will continue. Remember that self- victimisers play a role that has always worked for them. By empathically and consistently challenging them, as well as emphasising those non-victim aspects of them that you like, a victim can be helped to change. An example of empathically challenging a victim would be to ask a question that makes them reconsider their situation, such as, “You say he became aggressive. What happened just before he became aggressive?” An example of valuing the non-victim traits of the individual include statements such as, “I like it when you show this positive attitude. It suits you.”

http://healthpsychologyconsultancy.wordpress.com/2012/10/26/the-victim-personality/

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Ami Anne
Moderator

Posts: 55907
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted July 10, 2014 08:18 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I think I figured it out. When I see people hate, I want to be able to accept those feelings in myself and I can't. I feel guilty. I don';t want to treat people badly but I want to own what I feel! That is why I was getting so upset cuz I could never treat people with that hatred and be that mean and I am jealous, in a way, not for the actions but wishing I could own those parts of myself.

Can anyone relate?

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http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/

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hannaramaa
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Posts: 7411
From:
Registered: Nov 2011

posted July 10, 2014 08:19 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hannaramaa     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Barbiegirl19:
Ami I understand and feel bad that you've gone through what you've gone. We all have pasts and have had bad experiences. What's not cool is when you blame ME and everyone else who doesn't aggree with you or your motives. You can be just as vicious, if not more than you claim I've been. How do you expect me to react when you throw my troubles with alcohol in my face? How do you not see how vicious and wrong that is? I've never said anything that low to you, ever.

I think you need a friend, a true friend who'll let you vent and get all of this out. I agree to an extent of ignoring people with malicious intent, but what you do is not healthy at all. You bottle up everything and passive aggressively attack people. It's not okay and needs to stop.

You can't attack people the way you do and expect courtliness or flattery. The world doesn't work that way. I really liked you at one point and unfortunately I don't see ever liking you again until things change. I don't hate you, I don't hate anyone or very many things. You just really have some serious dark issues.

I found this really awesome website and article that I think will help you. The link is at the bottom.

I send you lots of prayers and hopes of strong will. I hope you find your true self and let go of all the evil.

[b]Individuals who habitually indulge in self-victimisation (also known as playing the victim) do so for various reasons: to control or influence other people’s thoughts, feelings and actions; to justify their abuse of others; to seek attention; or, as a way of coping with situations. Although they can actually change circumstances to avoid being victimised, they won’t seize the opportunity because they want to play the role and appear as victims to others and themselves. The main identifying traits of those who choose to play the victim role include:

They tend to manipulate or abuse others verbally or physically, but then blame the other person (i.e. the real victim) for provoking the abuse.
They influence or control other people’ sympathy to gain compassion or support.
They form friendships or intimate relationships with those who disrespect, mistreat or abuse them to convince themselves and the world of their unfortunate status.
They tend to avoid taking responsibility for their life, instead blaming others for their mistreatment or unfortunate circumstances.
They think and talk a lot about how others take advantage of their kindness.

Negatives:

When in the company of the victim personality, be on the lookout for the following:

Their crippling dependency on friends or co-workers for support and sympathy can be draining, and you cannot be sure if they actually appreciate your sympathetic responses and efforts.
They can evoke anger and aggression in you, especially after you realise you have been duped into giving them sympathy when it should have gone to the real victim of their abuse.
They instinctively draw out the caring, nurturing, and protective qualities in people, only to set them up for manipulation or abuse.
Sometimes they will take extreme measures to get attention, like emptying a spouse’s bank account because they feel neglected or sending hate emails to themselves and then accusing others of sending them.

Positives:

There aren’t many positives to the victim personality, but two ways in which you might benefit from the victim are:

They can make us feel important and valuable. Since they believe they are incapable of taking care of their own needs, they will always need your support with something.
They long to be trustworthy and will make every effort to stick to their promises or complete any tasks you ask of them.


Do you Play the Victim?

You are playing the victim when you often:

Justify your aggression against others by believing they deserve it.
Refuse to take responsibility for your own happiness or misery – it’s the world that’s a bad place, and no one can truly be trusted.
Find yourself in relationships where others mistreat you, so you can feel justified in your victim role.
Nag, complain, harass, and beseech others until they give in to your demands.
Commonly turn to the phrase, “You’re the only one who can help me.”
Sometimes go to extremes to get revenge for perceived or actual abuse, like destroying your own property and falsely accusing someone else of being responsible.
Provoking aggressive behaviour from others, but downplaying or ignoring your role in it.
Feel anxious about the very idea that you can exert a positive influence over your own life without the support of others.

How do I Deal with a Victim?

Initially, it will feel good playing a part in their happiness and joy, but after a while, you will start to avoid their child-like dependency. When you do cut ties with them, they will feel victimised and the cycle will continue. Remember that self- victimisers play a role that has always worked for them. By empathically and consistently challenging them, as well as emphasising those non-victim aspects of them that you like, a victim can be helped to change. An example of empathically challenging a victim would be to ask a question that makes them reconsider their situation, such as, “You say he became aggressive. What happened just before he became aggressive?” An example of valuing the non-victim traits of the individual include statements such as, “I like it when you show this positive attitude. It suits you.”

http://healthpsychologyconsultancy.wordpress.com/2012/10/26/the-victim-personality/ [/B]


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BellaFenice
Knowflake

Posts: 716
From: Pseudo-Leo with a 1st House Stellium
Registered: Sep 2013

posted July 10, 2014 08:20 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for BellaFenice     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Barbiegirl19:
Ami I understand and feel bad that you've gone through what you've gone. We all have pasts and have had bad experiences. What's not cool is when you blame ME and everyone else who doesn't aggree with you or your motives. You can be just as vicious, if not more than you claim I've been. How do you expect me to react when you throw my troubles with alcohol in my face? How do you not see how vicious and wrong that is? I've never said anything that low to you, ever.

I think you need a friend, a true friend who'll let you vent and get all of this out. I agree to an extent of ignoring people with malicious intent, but what you do is not healthy at all. You bottle up everything and passive aggressively attack people. It's not okay and needs to stop.

You can't attack people the way you do and expect courtliness or flattery. The world doesn't work that way. I really liked you at one point and unfortunately I don't see ever liking you again until things change. I don't hate you, I don't hate anyone or very many things. You just really have some serious dark issues.

I found this really awesome website and article that I think will help you. The link is at the bottom.

I send you lots of prayers and hopes of strong will. I hope you find your true self and let go of all the evil.

[b]Individuals who habitually indulge in self-victimisation (also known as playing the victim) do so for various reasons: to control or influence other people’s thoughts, feelings and actions; to justify their abuse of others; to seek attention; or, as a way of coping with situations. Although they can actually change circumstances to avoid being victimised, they won’t seize the opportunity because they want to play the role and appear as victims to others and themselves. The main identifying traits of those who choose to play the victim role include:

They tend to manipulate or abuse others verbally or physically, but then blame the other person (i.e. the real victim) for provoking the abuse.
They influence or control other people’ sympathy to gain compassion or support.
They form friendships or intimate relationships with those who disrespect, mistreat or abuse them to convince themselves and the world of their unfortunate status.
They tend to avoid taking responsibility for their life, instead blaming others for their mistreatment or unfortunate circumstances.
They think and talk a lot about how others take advantage of their kindness.

Negatives:

When in the company of the victim personality, be on the lookout for the following:

Their crippling dependency on friends or co-workers for support and sympathy can be draining, and you cannot be sure if they actually appreciate your sympathetic responses and efforts.
They can evoke anger and aggression in you, especially after you realise you have been duped into giving them sympathy when it should have gone to the real victim of their abuse.
They instinctively draw out the caring, nurturing, and protective qualities in people, only to set them up for manipulation or abuse.
Sometimes they will take extreme measures to get attention, like emptying a spouse’s bank account because they feel neglected or sending hate emails to themselves and then accusing others of sending them.

Positives:

There aren’t many positives to the victim personality, but two ways in which you might benefit from the victim are:

They can make us feel important and valuable. Since they believe they are incapable of taking care of their own needs, they will always need your support with something.
They long to be trustworthy and will make every effort to stick to their promises or complete any tasks you ask of them.


Do you Play the Victim?

You are playing the victim when you often:

Justify your aggression against others by believing they deserve it.
Refuse to take responsibility for your own happiness or misery – it’s the world that’s a bad place, and no one can truly be trusted.
Find yourself in relationships where others mistreat you, so you can feel justified in your victim role.
Nag, complain, harass, and beseech others until they give in to your demands.
Commonly turn to the phrase, “You’re the only one who can help me.”
Sometimes go to extremes to get revenge for perceived or actual abuse, like destroying your own property and falsely accusing someone else of being responsible.
Provoking aggressive behaviour from others, but downplaying or ignoring your role in it.
Feel anxious about the very idea that you can exert a positive influence over your own life without the support of others.

How do I Deal with a Victim?

Initially, it will feel good playing a part in their happiness and joy, but after a while, you will start to avoid their child-like dependency. When you do cut ties with them, they will feel victimised and the cycle will continue. Remember that self- victimisers play a role that has always worked for them. By empathically and consistently challenging them, as well as emphasising those non-victim aspects of them that you like, a victim can be helped to change. An example of empathically challenging a victim would be to ask a question that makes them reconsider their situation, such as, “You say he became aggressive. What happened just before he became aggressive?” An example of valuing the non-victim traits of the individual include statements such as, “I like it when you show this positive attitude. It suits you.”

http://healthpsychologyconsultancy.wordpress.com/2012/10/26/the-victim-personality/ [/B]


Post of the YEAR! This is great advice Ami, and I really hope you consider it.

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Chiemi
Moderator

Posts: 1823
From: Michigan
Registered: Feb 2012

posted July 10, 2014 08:23 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Chiemi     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Barbiegirl19:
Ami I understand and feel bad that you've gone through what you've gone. We all have pasts and have had bad experiences. What's not cool is when you blame ME and everyone else who doesn't aggree with you or your motives. You can be just as vicious, if not more than you claim I've been. How do you expect me to react when you throw my troubles with alcohol in my face? How do you not see how vicious and wrong that is? I've never said anything that low to you, ever.

I think you need a friend, a true friend who'll let you vent and get all of this out. I agree to an extent of ignoring people with malicious intent, but what you do is not healthy at all. You bottle up everything and passive aggressively attack people. It's not okay and needs to stop.

You can't attack people the way you do and expect courtliness or flattery. The world doesn't work that way. I really liked you at one point and unfortunately I don't see ever liking you again until things change. I don't hate you, I don't hate anyone or very many things. You just really have some serious dark issues.

I found this really awesome website and article that I think will help you. The link is at the bottom.

I send you lots of prayers and hopes of strong will. I hope you find your true self and let go of all the evil.

[b]Individuals who habitually indulge in self-victimisation (also known as playing the victim) do so for various reasons: to control or influence other people’s thoughts, feelings and actions; to justify their abuse of others; to seek attention; or, as a way of coping with situations. Although they can actually change circumstances to avoid being victimised, they won’t seize the opportunity because they want to play the role and appear as victims to others and themselves. The main identifying traits of those who choose to play the victim role include:

They tend to manipulate or abuse others verbally or physically, but then blame the other person (i.e. the real victim) for provoking the abuse.
They influence or control other people’ sympathy to gain compassion or support.
They form friendships or intimate relationships with those who disrespect, mistreat or abuse them to convince themselves and the world of their unfortunate status.
They tend to avoid taking responsibility for their life, instead blaming others for their mistreatment or unfortunate circumstances.
They think and talk a lot about how others take advantage of their kindness.

Negatives:

When in the company of the victim personality, be on the lookout for the following:

Their crippling dependency on friends or co-workers for support and sympathy can be draining, and you cannot be sure if they actually appreciate your sympathetic responses and efforts.
They can evoke anger and aggression in you, especially after you realise you have been duped into giving them sympathy when it should have gone to the real victim of their abuse.
They instinctively draw out the caring, nurturing, and protective qualities in people, only to set them up for manipulation or abuse.
Sometimes they will take extreme measures to get attention, like emptying a spouse’s bank account because they feel neglected or sending hate emails to themselves and then accusing others of sending them.

Positives:

There aren’t many positives to the victim personality, but two ways in which you might benefit from the victim are:

They can make us feel important and valuable. Since they believe they are incapable of taking care of their own needs, they will always need your support with something.
They long to be trustworthy and will make every effort to stick to their promises or complete any tasks you ask of them.


Do you Play the Victim?

You are playing the victim when you often:

Justify your aggression against others by believing they deserve it.
Refuse to take responsibility for your own happiness or misery – it’s the world that’s a bad place, and no one can truly be trusted.
Find yourself in relationships where others mistreat you, so you can feel justified in your victim role.
Nag, complain, harass, and beseech others until they give in to your demands.
Commonly turn to the phrase, “You’re the only one who can help me.”
Sometimes go to extremes to get revenge for perceived or actual abuse, like destroying your own property and falsely accusing someone else of being responsible.
Provoking aggressive behaviour from others, but downplaying or ignoring your role in it.
Feel anxious about the very idea that you can exert a positive influence over your own life without the support of others.

How do I Deal with a Victim?

Initially, it will feel good playing a part in their happiness and joy, but after a while, you will start to avoid their child-like dependency. When you do cut ties with them, they will feel victimised and the cycle will continue. Remember that self- victimisers play a role that has always worked for them. By empathically and consistently challenging them, as well as emphasising those non-victim aspects of them that you like, a victim can be helped to change. An example of empathically challenging a victim would be to ask a question that makes them reconsider their situation, such as, “You say he became aggressive. What happened just before he became aggressive?” An example of valuing the non-victim traits of the individual include statements such as, “I like it when you show this positive attitude. It suits you.”

http://healthpsychologyconsultancy.wordpress.com/2012/10/26/the-victim-personality/ [/B]


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Ami Anne
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Posts: 55907
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted July 10, 2014 08:25 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I think it is trusting yourself with all you feel. If you feel anger, you feel it. If you feel hate, you feel it. If you feel jealous, you feel it. It was not about being a jerk to others but not being able to feel what I was feeling.

------------------
Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.


http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/

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Barbiegirl19
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Posts: 4131
From: Pluto with DeepFreeze
Registered: Jul 2013

posted July 10, 2014 08:29 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Barbiegirl19     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
How do you really expect to feel ANYTHING when you ignore it all? That's called extreme passive aggressive behavior and self victimization. You need to talk all of this out with someone and you'll feel sooo much better.

Don't you see how dangerous it is? It really concerns me that you don't.

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Ami Anne
Moderator

Posts: 55907
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted July 10, 2014 08:29 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I feel better. Thanks. If anyone has any more comments, please put them on.

If you are in the public like I am, you will be hated by some people. That can't be helped but I am loved by so many, many more. I just needed to face some parts of myself.

I thank Randall for giving us the place to do that

------------------
Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.


http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/

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DeepFreeze
Knowflake

Posts: 2293
From: Pluto with Barbiegirl19
Registered: Nov 2013

posted July 10, 2014 09:02 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for DeepFreeze     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I might need to retire from advice giving. My Mars conjunct mercury is not really cut out for such things. lol

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Ami Anne
Moderator

Posts: 55907
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted July 10, 2014 09:17 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by DeepFreeze:
I might need to retire from advice giving. My Mars conjunct mercury is not really cut out for such things. lol

You were trying to be sweet, DF.

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florence
Knowflake

Posts: 300
From:
Registered: Jun 2012

posted July 10, 2014 10:32 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for florence     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I don't know how well my thoughts will come out because I haven't come to any conclusions.

But I battle similar things insofar as something to do with morality was and is important to me. In my case Idk why but I had to impose on myself a system outside of myself to determine a right and wrong, like contracting it out because I came to not trust my own feelings possibly.

Regard to victimisation ... For eg I think that's an easy way to silence your feelings by saying you play the victim. Now of course it's extremely hard not to be in. The role of victim.

When you say something against someone they might deserve it but it's too easy to call out compared to other behaviour so youre in the same cycle of having yourself subject to scrutiny and likewise being able to subject others to morality. This is what I experience anyway often ... I know I identify too much with wanting to out someone's meanness. Maybe that's what I have felt in the past against me ... Darkness in me sought out.

You will never be all good.

You're not a bad person.

So in my personal struggle as I feel at the same point and even less able to even let go of things tbh... I think maybe not worrying what is wrong or right and seeing the world ... Not through those eyes might help me personally.

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DeepFreeze
Knowflake

Posts: 2293
From: Pluto with Barbiegirl19
Registered: Nov 2013

posted July 10, 2014 11:38 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for DeepFreeze     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Regarding the victim role...
Time and time again she says to "ignore"... Just "learn to ignore. It took me six years but I figured that out".
Then just today she proclaimed to you that if you ignore them they only fight among themselves.
When called out on that then suddenly it's like 3-5 posts about how depressed she is about all of this hatred.
What happened to ignoring? I thought that was the key to life or something but suddenly it's not working and this is all overwhelming.
(and her mother again... The fishing line in the pond waiting for sympathy to bite)
Now you tell me what's wrong with that picture.

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rajji
Knowflake

Posts: 1479
From:
Registered: Jan 2011

posted July 10, 2014 11:51 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for rajji     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
You are strong ami, because you get to taste the deep pain of hatred and still stand strong.
You have survived those deepest wounds many a times.
Is'nt that an accomplishment?
You are one of those who can deal with great pain and knows no despair.I admire your strength of character.

"Smile, because you're beautiful. Laugh, because you're living life to the fullest. Stand strong, because haters cant bring you down."- Unknown

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DeepFreeze
Knowflake

Posts: 2293
From: Pluto with Barbiegirl19
Registered: Nov 2013

posted July 10, 2014 11:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for DeepFreeze     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Anyway, it's her thread and this is what sp is about so...
I'll leave it alone.
I guess that's the right thing to do.

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Maka
Knowflake

Posts: 207
From:
Registered: Dec 2010

posted July 11, 2014 12:13 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Maka     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Take a vacation. Do something wild Ami!

I was here when you first joined and yes there was some dark times, even some I stupidly contributed to from being stubborn, young, and emotionally volatile at the time.

I think you need to step back from LL for a bit, maybe even for year just to refresh yourself.

Work on your website, offer astrology workshops even if it's just one or two people to start with, write a book, study a new branch of astrology.

It think control is a big issue here and when you are as self contained as you stated in the OP, loosing control and not having control over others..well it can be scary. You cannot really control anyone's self or in this case emotional self, but you can choose to diffuse yourself from it and to have control over your own emotional well being.

Shh, I want to tell you secret Ami...leaving LL for a month or heck even a year just ti focus on yourself..IT WILL BE OKAY! THEY WILL BE ALRIGHT!

You are indeed a part of LL history and contributed to much of the shaping of this online community and forum, but Ami if you need time to yourself to heal and get away from the drama or what not. Those that care will understand your absence a bit from the forum.

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Moon is Lunatic
Knowflake

Posts: 672
From: Moon
Registered: Jun 2013

posted July 11, 2014 03:02 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Moon is Lunatic     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Ami, you have to understand you were acting really passive-aggressive and made the situation only worser by your actions. Like Barbie said, you can't expect people to treat you nicely when you're not acting nicely yourself.
Hope you're going to learn something from this.


Also to what Maka said.

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