posted January 06, 2015 09:02 PM            

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posted January 06, 2015 10:36 PM            

Do you also hope that when those who post saying they feel like complete wastes of flesh that no one could ever love and everyone at LL hates them (which is just a more extreme form of this thread) that their incorrect beliefs that torment them are confirmed? I don't see how that actually helps the ones who are suffering, only helping those who seek to exploit their suffering to gain some sort of control over them or pull them into codependent relationships.

posted January 07, 2015 12:49 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
You'd rather she feel ignored and invisible when she's not?

Do you also hope that when those who post saying they feel like complete wastes of flesh that no one could ever love and everyone at LL hates them (which is just a more extreme form of this thread) that their incorrect beliefs that torment them are confirmed? I don't see how that actually helps the ones who are suffering, only helping those who seek to exploit their suffering to gain some sort of control over them or pull them into codependent relationships.

And it wasn't so much a refutation as pointing something out, hopefully something that would help her find the actual cause of her discomfort rather than keeping her mired in it, and something many counselors are trained to do, by the way. A typical counseling session could very well include "Why do you feel invisible?" Once reasons (similar to in this thread) are given then other questions are asked "What about when you were actively interacted with at (such and such), why did you feel ignored then?" (And perhaps I should've taken the longer route to have done so since many aren't interested--capable?--of self-reflection on their own without being led every step of the way, but I gave her more credit than that.) Perhaps the feelings are rational or perhaps they're not, the questions get to the bottom of it and if the feelings aren't rational then the REAL problem is looked for so it can be properly treated. This isn't meant to be an interrogation or attempting to invalidate their feelings, it's an attempt to work through them so that positive change can come about.

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It's not your job to help them, just listen to them.

When ever you go through Transit Saturn conjunct your Moon, read what you wrote 20 times .

posted January 07, 2015 01:14 AM            

No, but it's my inclination (possibly my Scorpio Jupiter wanting to help others transform out of their pain just as it helped me do the same).

Technically, it's not my job to "just listen" either.

ETA: Btw, Saturn IS transiting my natal moon right now!

posted January 07, 2015 01:34 AM            

Just know that in the past people have helped me in the way I tried to help here and I appreciated it, so I was following the Golden Rule...in some cases (at least one where I believed a board I belonged to was being more critical and judgmental than it was because of something in my childhood when one questioned me on my assumptions and then made the connection for me saying I was reacting to those in my past than those I was talking to now and I was like "OH!" as I realized he was correct and I approached that board differently in the future with a more positive attitude--which I thought of when I saw a post on feeling invisible here when she's not) I gained valuable insights that made me a happier person. And just as others have pulled me back to my feet when I was down I instinctually want to help others to their feet when they fall rather than pat them on the shoulder until they feel like standing up on their own. Paying it forward.

Oddly, there was one time I posted something on LL where I wanted someone to say "I understand" with nothing else being necessary (I still wouldn't have minded exploring why I felt the way I did and did so by myself and with people in real life) and yet no one at LL did...though people have frequently offered such sentiments over other things when I wasn't after that response (and had also offered possible astrological insights earlier in the thread about anxiety I felt before I shared what I did). I was just more surprised by the one time in all my years here that I was actually interested in "just a hug" that no one did and curious why that was when I got so many before--and after--when that wasn't what I was after. I almost asked out of curiosity but didn't want people to feel bad for not doing so or thinking I was putting them down, a virtual hug would've been nice but wasn't necessary. I'm glad to say I didn't feel like no one at LL cared by the one and only time I wanted it to happen and it didn't, just surprised.

posted January 07, 2015 05:23 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
^^

No, but it's my inclination (possibly my Scorpio Jupiter wanting to help others transform out of their pain just as it helped me do the same).

Technically, it's not my job to "just listen" either.

ETA: Btw, Saturn IS transiting my natal moon right now!

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PixieJane,

posted January 07, 2015 09:15 AM            

I knew you were trying to be helpful. It just sat wrong with ME all day, so I replied.

I will tell you why. This same situation has happened to me countless times, more in my real life than on here but I am sure on here, too.

My scars are more inner, I think. I look and act normal. I am an extroverted Gemini. However, inside I have scars from abuse which I have shared, as you have shared yours.

There have been times when I was sharing the pain and depression I had and someone will say, "Look at all your blessings. People would love to have what you have. You are a blessed person. Look around"

That is all true but it is TRUE that I have many scars. Both statements are equally true.

I can say all this from the vantage point of really healing some deep wounds. Hence, I can look back and see more clearly my experiences.

Your telling Reese that you checked out the past LL threads and she was not ignored was the same as the person telling me what they did.

Can I ask you a chart question. Do you have few planets in water, if you care to answer?

Again, I am not dissing you. I hope you know that. I have seen real changes in you on LL, as many of us have made if we stayed and dealt with experiences here and tried to grow from them

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posted January 07, 2015 02:54 PM            

I really appreciate your last response.
I too am a extroverted Gemini, but I have many deep scars (Scorpio rising). For me, people brushing my feelings or views aside when I do open up annoys me. Hence why I didn't like how this post was initially handled.

I'm not always going to agree with everybody here or how people respond to me, but I will always try my best to acknowledge that what is presented is someone's reality. Attempting to mix logic with emotion (where possible). I'm not perfect in doing so, by all means but I can identify with you and your post!!!

posted January 07, 2015 03:58 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Barbiegirl19:
DeepFreeze is not unregistered, Bella. There were zero jabs thrown here. If you feel that way than it is on your part.

Anyways you've been given some great advice here by many that care, ReeseC. Hope this helps you.

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Ok, well since you put me on the spot, here you go. He asked to be unregistered, but he hasn't been unregistered yet. He can no longer post, which is why he has been absent the last week and a half. Then I guess unregistration is more of semantics, but that is neither here or there.

See, I am not lying:

http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum30/HTML/000103.html

Therefore, I am confused as to why you are insinuating I am lying. I have no reason to lie here, there is nothing I can gain by doing this. His profile does not show an unregistration yet, so the only explanation is that he cannot post.

I only mentioned this because despite the fact you hate this, DeepFreeze is friends with us (Faith, me, PD), and all of us got worried when he stopped posting. He was just an example of someone who recently requested to leave. Simple as that.

Besides, if he really isn't unregistered and can post, then DeepFreeze can respond.

posted January 07, 2015 04:41 PM              

Do you ever stop?...

I'm very much aware that he asked to be unregistered, Bella. It was handled. He is not unregistered. I didn't understand why it was necessary to bring it up, other than another failed attempt to bait me, hint why I said what I said. I'm aware of what goes on with my man. You've done this several times now where you act like adding his name in your post will make me angry or upset me.

It doesn't. We aren't in kindergarten fighting over what's ours here. He's allowed to have friends just as I am.

I don't hate anyone or anything here, or anywhere else for that matter.

Please stop with the petty drama and move on already. I'm begging you.

The drama is why he's not here. Other than working like a slave, he's wonderful, thanks for asking. When he's ready to come back he will. Please don't waste your energy worrying. If you were that worried you'd think you'd have the decency to ask me, since I am married to him, we live together and I am here. You could've shot me an email. But as usual it's yet another bait to keep the drama going.

If you have an issue, wanna talk please email me. Stop passively responding to me in threads. Thank you.