posted July 23, 2015 11:17 AM            

One day I looked at myself in the mirror for a very long time and something snapped. I realized that it was those people's problems, not mine.

posted July 23, 2015 07:23 PM            

By then I was used to finding things out on my own at a basic level and I found a runaway hotline. In my strange naivete I assumed that these people would link us to services for runaways and give us tips and things to keep in mind.

I talked to a woman who wanted to know why my friend was going to runaway (and I was going with her, she admitted there wasn't anything she could do for me as the courts had spoken and she focused on my friend instead since I'd only run away if she did) and wanted her to report the abuse. Thing was she tried, had bruises, a bald spot from where her drunken father had ripped out her hair and she thought now she'd be believed. The idiot counselor she went to thought it was best to "keep the family together" and "what we need is communication" and tried to call her father despite her terrified protests!

(In retrospect I wonder if he wasn't an abuser himself and thus sympathized with the father. Lots of people take up professions to "help" kids as school counselor just to find the perfect victims. Though I've heard of multiple idiot and worse school counselors like this, they're a plague, and I read the interview with the actor who played the serial killer who was a high school counselor in the movie Freeway who said to play his role convincingly he decided to study such an obnoxious and questionable counselor as he knew of more than one and the very first school counselor he found was PERFECT. )

Luckily, her father had failed to pay the phone bill so he was forced to call her grandparents and even they yelled at the counselor for nearly getting the girl killed. And more importantly, nothing came of it. (I know people like to say how fast your kids will be taken, and if any would like to say that then see my thread in regards to how unlikely that is here). She felt she dodged the bullet and was not going to ask for help again.

So as my friend knew she was going to flunk 9th grade and that would result in a severe beating she fled as did I. The only thing the operator of the runaway hotline could give me was the address to Covenant House (street kid called it C-House so I often do as well out of habit) and that's where we headed.

It was a very long walk (I'm surprised she made it), one that took us several hours. It was about 10 PM as we were approaching C-House when a bunch of homeless kids on a porch (they were allowed to stay there as they provided security in a high crime area, if any damage was done to the shop then the owner would call the cops on any who hid there for a month so kids guarded it fiercely) asked us if we were going to C-House (which was in sight) and we said yeah. They warned us if we did that they'd call our parents and/or the cops on us immediately and shared some personal experiences with that. (And being Texas this is true, to aid kids on the run in anyway is considered contributing to their delinquency, and that includes any charity services or shelters. Most states will give a 3-day grace period for runaways at runaway shelters but Texas law doesn't even give a 3-minute grace period!)

We found this too believable and I was angry at the operator for not telling us that as I considered that a betrayal. And they asked me more about that and as I explained calling the runaway hotline for advice on how to run away that started laughing as that was hilarious and then got inspired to go to a payphone (this was 98), us following them, where one called the Cocaine hotline and said he was new to the city and was really jonesing, could she hook him up. The operator did the one thing she should never do when being prank called/trolled by kids and yelled at him at the top of her lungs which caused all of us to break out laughing. It put us all in a good mood so that we were able to naturally mix with them and thus entered into the shadowy world of runaway kids (it's a subculture in many cities, though also a nomadic one with faces constantly changing).

posted July 24, 2015 04:53 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by the7thsphere:
Thanks for reminding me that my concerns are insignificant. Since it serves the female majority here, I had no right to complain. I'm duly chastised. My most humble and sincere apologies for having interrupted, Madame.

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7th

I was not implying that your concerns are insignificant. I was merely stating that grieviences from other threads should not be brought over to this one since those threads were locked and are seperate to this topic.

It has nothing to do with female majority either. AG is a guy and he posted too. The intention of this thread was to share our experiences relating to the topic.

Again, you are welcome to post on this thread. However, disagreements from other threads should remain seperate.

posted July 24, 2015 04:58 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by 12muddy:

One day I looked at myself in the mirror for a very long time and something snapped. I realized that it was those people's problems, not mine.

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posted August 27, 2015 02:31 AM            

quote:

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A 19-year-old model from Sweden is using YouTube to take a stand against the fashion industry that she says has labeled her "too big" for the runway.

In a video shared earlier this week, Agnes Hedengard wore only a bikini as she posed in front of a mirror and explained why she struggles to find work despite her seemingly good looks.

"I have worked as a model for about five years now, but up to this day I don't get any more jobs since the industry thinks I'm too big," she said. "They think this is too big."

Hedengard, who said she is 5'11" with a body mass index of 17.5 (which would technically put her in the "underweight" category, according to the National Institutes of Health), pointed to her body parts as she told viewers, "They think my butt is too big and they think my hips are too wide."

She goes on to say she's been contacted by agencies and clients for bookings, but they often change their minds after receiving her measurements.

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posted August 29, 2015 08:49 PM            

This fear is the main reason why I'm still losing weight nowadays.
it's the main reason why I also don't want to be pregnant.
It's also this fear that makes me cringe and feel like a huge fat pig when I go over my own 1200 calories limit, or anytime I eat a chips (yes, one single chips).
It's this fear that will make myself feel ugly and so scared that I will weight myself 5 to ten times a day.
It's this one whispering to me at night that I still need to drop "five more pounds" and then I'll be alright.
There are periods when it's not nearly as controlling, where I can still enjoy a ice cream without self disgust or fear. Where I can almost ignore what I eat or "cheat" with a treat. One cookie, a scone or somethings. I can sometimes go as far as three cookies without feeling any disgust or fat or like those treats will be my spiral down to weight gain. These days are truly happy days.
But it's always back. I always get triggered again.
Not one day will go without me feeling my stomach, making sure I can still feel my ribs. It got to a point where it's reassuring and calming.
I'm still skinny. I'm not fat like before. That's what I tell myself when I do this.
I feel rewarded each time I receive congratulations or remark about my weight loss. And it genuinely makes me happy, but sometimes, people doesn't understand.
When they say: "I wish I could be like you, instead I tends to eat my feelings", or "It looks so easy for you to lose weight". It's not easy. You don' t want to be like me.
The worst are when people tell me, as a joke: "watch out, you'll take twice what you've lost"
They don't know how horrified I feel when I hear these things. I start counting the weight I've lost, and then what I could possibly gain again, and it's enough to make me go into a frenzy and not eat for two days.

posted August 29, 2015 09:44 PM            

Do you want to stick up your chart. I would look to the Moon. This is not a joke but there is an asteroid called Fatme.

I am doing a chart for a person now, who always feels she is fat. It is an issue for her and this asteroid is conjunct her Sun.

However, if you want me to take a look at the planets, I will.

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posted August 29, 2015 10:07 PM            

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posted August 30, 2015 09:38 AM            

It`s their Cacique Intimates collection. It celebrates the fuller figured woman so beautifully and pokes a little fun at Victoria`s Secret ads.
http://www.ibtimes.com/lane-bryant-im-no-angel-campaign-plus-size-brand- takes-victorias-secret-1873075

posted August 30, 2015 09:49 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by RoseLily:
I will, thank you Ami
EDIT: I've posted it, also included the asteroid, which is not conjunct my sun. I honestly am not surprised, I don,t always feel fat, it's more of a fear.
I kept the birth data as they were, so if you need to see things on your own, you will be able to.
Thank you very much, it's very generous of you

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My pleasure, RL. You are a wonderful, new addition to our LL community

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posted September 26, 2015 06:27 PM            

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