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Author
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Topic: I got stood up tonight
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aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 11931
From: Wankety Wankerson
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted March 10, 2016 09:06 PM
  
I had a date planned tonight and got to the place we were supposed to meet at and she didn't show up. I waited 15 minutes and she never called or texted, so I just left and came home.... I was mad as h*ll, but I got home and meditated and I feel better. After I had calmed down I texted her and said "I had a lot of fun tonight  " and she responded to my text about 15 minutes later and said "oh crap I forgot" and I responded "What? Are you on drugs? We just made our date plans the other day and we re-confirmed our plans last night..... And you forgot?" She didn't have anything to say to that...And never even apologized. I don't have time for that crap in my life. Now, I have been disappointed by women a lot in my short 25 years on this planet and I could let myself slip back into my old bitter and angry self. However, i'm not going to do that. I'm still amazed by how crappy people can be though. I guess the lesson learned here is I need to start trusting my intuition. I had a strong feeling that she was going to flake on me, but I ignored it and thought it was just my insecurity from past hurts popping up. I wont ignore my intuition again. IP: Logged |
Odette
Moderator Posts: 6753
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted March 10, 2016 09:16 PM
.IP: Logged |
Odette
Moderator Posts: 6753
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted March 10, 2016 09:26 PM
.IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 11931
From: Wankety Wankerson
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted March 10, 2016 09:30 PM
What are you talking about? It has nothing to do with you. It was a girl that was supposed to come dancing with me tonight. IP: Logged |
Odette
Moderator Posts: 6753
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted March 10, 2016 09:38 PM
.IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 11931
From: Wankety Wankerson
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted March 10, 2016 09:46 PM
It's one thing to flake on somebody, but it's another matter entirely to stand someone up. That just sucks, period. And what made it worse is she didn't even apologize. I ain't got time for that.
I'm not sure why you felt it was connected to you in some way. Frankly, i'm puzzled. You haven't given me a reason to write you off. We are just two people that occasionally interact over the internet. However, if you were to pull a stunt like that girl pulled tonight I would cut you out.IP: Logged |
Odette
Moderator Posts: 6753
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted March 10, 2016 09:58 PM
It doesn't matter.
Forget what I said.And best of luck. IP: Logged |
Odette
Moderator Posts: 6753
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted March 10, 2016 10:07 PM
quote:
We are just two people that occasionally interact over the internet.
My darling... I have given people this sort of line my whole life. The only difference is that I woke up.
And you're still asleep. But genuinely, from the bottom of my heart I wish you the best. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 67041
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted March 10, 2016 10:09 PM
You learn through pain.If you see a wise person like Randall, for example, I think he will even say( and has said) that pain was his teacher.
------------------
Want to Read Simple, Fun,Sexy Articles on Astrology? Check Me Out, DUDE.
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
IP: Logged |
Valentine
Knowflake Posts: 564
From: Canada
Registered: Dec 2014
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posted March 10, 2016 10:09 PM
AG, that girls actions were rude and irresponsible. I like how you've handled it. Always trust your intuition.IP: Logged |
teasel
Knowflake Posts: 8180
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted March 10, 2016 10:10 PM
I'm sorry that she flaked, and glad that you won't let it affect your attitude. It's tough, I know.IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 11931
From: Wankety Wankerson
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted March 10, 2016 10:11 PM
What?  It's true, we don't speak much. I just said that to say you don't have to worry about me freaking out on you. You haven't given me a reason to. You are cool IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 67041
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted March 10, 2016 10:12 PM
I have to tell you this story about how flaky people can be.My mother was supposed to meet someone at the subway to go into town and go to a lecture at a college. The time was 2PM, shall we say. My mother never came and the woman went without her, finally. When my mother got to the college, the woman was angry. My mother got mad at her for being too particular about time  IP: Logged |
Odette
Moderator Posts: 6753
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted March 10, 2016 10:18 PM
Right.And for how many years have we been talking?
Lol. IP: Logged |
Odette
Moderator Posts: 6753
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted March 10, 2016 10:19 PM
Look... I am sorry. This is pointless.There is no way I can help here although I would like to.
But I always send you positive energy IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 11931
From: Wankety Wankerson
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted March 10, 2016 10:20 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Odette:
Right.And for how many years have we been talking?
Lol.
I know, but we don't talk much. That's just the truth. Maybe that was part of your avoidant strategy? LOL I just know I don't think badly of you. I like you. So relax
IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 11931
From: Wankety Wankerson
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted March 10, 2016 10:21 PM
The girl just asked for a rain check and I'm considering giving her another chance. Happy now? IP: Logged |
Odette
Moderator Posts: 6753
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted March 10, 2016 10:31 PM
Uh huh...Well as I remember I've probably interacted with you - at least on a weekly basis - for several years now. ^ But I wouldn't be able to write out this sentence if I hadn't come across my attachment problem. I'm saying this to challenge your views on what constitutes online-friendship... vs... "a random person I talk to rarely" ^ Because I'm playing these mental chess games with myself as well, ever since I found out about being avoidant  IP: Logged |
Odette
Moderator Posts: 6753
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted March 10, 2016 10:36 PM
About giving her another chance... My impression is that she is also avoidant.. because people with insecure styles attract each other (and this reinforces their toxic views on relationships)And also because... what person in their right mind forgets they set up a date from one day to the next? ^
And if she is avoidant.... I would tread carefully. If you do give her another chance - ask her some questions about her views on men and dating in general - and her past relationships.
^ At least this way you will understand her own insecurities and possible reasons behind her behaviour.
Because it's not all so black and white - as people just "being nice" or "being jerks".... IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 11931
From: Wankety Wankerson
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted March 10, 2016 11:15 PM
Odette,
I never said I didn't consider you a friend. I do. I think fondly of you. I just meant to say you don't have to worry about me writing you off because there's a big difference between standing someone up and saying something on an internet forum. You have never been anything but nice to me and I dont have anything against you. What more do you want me to say? I'm a double Aquarius duh'ling. LOLIP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 11931
From: Wankety Wankerson
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted March 10, 2016 11:19 PM
Also,
What you suggested I might do is inconsistent with my "avoidant strategy". My typical avoidant strategy is to not give girls a chance to begin with. For example, If a girl smiles at me or flirts with me I will probably think "She is just an attention ho playing games with me" and I wont even bother to engage them. I've never just wrote off a person I've known for a long time for no reason. That's not how I work. IP: Logged |
Elysia
Knowflake Posts: 1147
From: Gotham
Registered: Aug 2015
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posted March 11, 2016 02:47 AM
Well, I wouldn't jump to conclusions about her being an 'avoidant' type just yet. I've met a lot of people who do this, my own friends included. Sometimes it's simply because they are like that. Things of no real import to them, simply slip their mind. And honestly it's not worth putting yourself through the wringer for them if they're just going to toy with you. Having said that, it depends on how long you've known this person - basically, how deep are you in yet? If you've known them for long, and this is a pattern - then yeah, it might be some attachment style messing with things. Otherwise, nahh. Not enough to conclude that. IP: Logged |
Odette
Moderator Posts: 6753
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted March 11, 2016 03:49 AM
^^
Imo the context of the date being set up the day before - and her forgetting from one day to the next... is a little bit odd.I'm sure many people might forget these things... if they had at least a few days in between.
But from one day to the next? There is psychological research into this. People with insecure types are much more likely to attract others with similar issues - because it confirms their pattern. This would also explain why AG has a pattern - of - always having negative experiences with women (because this is not a one off thing for him) I agree that there's no certainty she is avoidant. I said "might be".. not "100% is"... but, this kind of flippant behaviour from one day to the next - could point to that. I'm not just being wildly irrational here lol IP: Logged |
Odette
Moderator Posts: 6753
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted March 11, 2016 03:53 AM
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
Also,
What you suggested I might do is inconsistent with my "avoidant strategy". My typical avoidant strategy is to not give girls a chance to begin with. For example, If a girl smiles at me or flirts with me I will probably think "She is just an attention ho playing games with me" and I wont even bother to engage them. I've never just wrote off a person I've known for a long time for no reason. That's not how I work.
LOL Ok...
Don't make me laugh when I'm sh*tty with you  But that's great. I'm glad you never wrote off a person in that way. Out of curiosity though - are any of these friends - who were never written off, female? And.. I feel the same way about you! You're my mate
In that Sheldon2Amy kind of way haha IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 11931
From: Wankety Wankerson
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted March 11, 2016 03:56 AM
Odette *Knock Knock* Odette *Knock Knock*IP: Logged |
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