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Topic: How do you help someone w/Sado exact conjunct Asc?
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PlutoSurvivor Moderator Posts: 632 From: USA Registered: Sep 2011
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posted March 01, 2014 11:40 AM
How would you help someone with this aspect ? Someone who is so self-destructive. This asteroid says it all. It makes me cry to see this in someone so close to me. IP: Logged |
Gabby Moderator Posts: 3312 From: Registered: Sep 2012
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posted March 01, 2014 11:53 AM
My Sado is conjunct my AC, there is nothing you can do!! This person is meant to be in so much that they will eventually be forced to start healing!!This is a very personal but very public placement! From personal experience, this will sound cruel but I've lived it, so it's not cruel...it is real.... DO NOT PROTECT THEM!!! Do not stop their falls, do not pick up their messes, sadly when you do this you will prolong them destroying themselves they must hit rock bottom, on their own! I ran to destruction, jumped from the frying pan into the fire...over n over again! This aspect is showing a person who has chosen to purge a huge amount of pain all in one lifetime! This is a purifying for them but they must do it on their own if you try to help them you will make it worse! Just be their friend...let them fall and make mistakes be a voice of reason after the fact and give them things to think about regarding their behavioral patterns...but don't stop them from making the mistakes! I'm sorry I wish I had a better answer for you, this is all know from being in the same position as your friend, and coming out the other side of it! Trust me someday your friend will have an unbelievable ability to help others see painful patterns in themselves and heal them! There is a reason for this aspect, they will overcome it!
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Gabby Moderator Posts: 3312 From: Registered: Sep 2012
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posted March 01, 2014 12:00 PM
I've never heard of someone else with this aspect....I'm wondering where your friends Pluto and Asteroid Deprez is??AC libra@7 or 9...still trying to find my actual birth time, lol Sado@9 Pluto@11 Deprez@11 Einstein@11 I also wonder if your friend refuses to do anything like drugs, or something that would full their pain? I wouldn't and I think it's because I wanted all the pain I could get, I needed to feel it so it would eventually break me and I could eventually start bouncing back? There's a song by Depeche mode, I used to love it because I felt it in my soul. Now, not much...whew!  "Strange love" There'll be times When my crimes Will seem almost unforgivable I give in to sin Because you have to make this life livable (pain makes us feel alive, so we do things to hurt ourselves so we feel) But when you think I've had enough From your sea of love I'll take more than another riverful And I'll make it all worthwhile I'll make your heart smile (only if your with another Sado) Strangelove Strange highs and strange lows Strangelove That's how my love goes Strangelove Will you give it to me Will you take the pain I will give to you Again and again And will you return it There'll be days When I stray I may appear to be Constantly out of reach (every once in awhile you realize how messed up you are) I give in to sin Because I like to practice what I preach I'm not trying to say I'll have it all my way I'm always willing to learn When you've got something to teach And I'll make it all worthwhile I'll make your heart smile Pain will you return it I'll say it again - pain Pain will you return it I won't say it again I give in Again and again I give in Will you give it to be I give in I'll say it again I give in I give in Again and again I give in That's how my love goes I give in I'll say it again I give in IP: Logged |
Gabby Moderator Posts: 3312 From: Registered: Sep 2012
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posted March 01, 2014 12:41 PM
With this aspect, the lesson is to stop hating yourself and punishing yourself....it's to learn how to forgive yourself and to see you never intended to abandon yourself... Sado is the creation of the times nobody protected you or love you, including yourself! The times your pain was so intense you shoved it down instead of loving yourself and dealing with the pain. Sado simply IS the parts of us that have turned on us because we left them there dying a slow painful death and we moved on, thinking we are ok...as we shoved the pain away into a dark hole instead of dealing with it! Sado is still there in that hole no matter if we chose to acknowledge it or not....everyone has this! When it's on your AC your higher self has decided to make this hidden pain very visible and it's time to hurt so much you cannot shove it down anymore, because it's everywhere, you live pain until you finally get so much you don't want it anymore ! Then you begin the process of acknowledging and allowing these places back into you, allowing them merge with you again and loving them again so you can humbly forgive yourself for ignoring and abusing yourself for so long! Ignoring these places is self abuse, Sado is showing you what your doing to yourself, it's making an example of your entire life to show you what your doing to yourself on the inside! Sado conjunct any personal point is doing the same thing but on your AC, it's going to be a public spectacle of pain! I hope that makes sense? I'll edit later if not! IP: Logged |
PlutoSurvivor Moderator Posts: 632 From: USA Registered: Sep 2011
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posted March 02, 2014 01:56 AM
quote: Originally posted by Gabby: I've never heard of someone else with this aspect....I'm wondering where your friends Pluto and Asteroid Deprez is?? Pluto is in 12H square to Deprez in 9H, 3 degree orb
I also wonder if your friend refuses to do anything like drugs, or something that would full their pain? I wouldn't and I think it's because I wanted all the pain I could get, I needed to feel it so it would eventually break me and I could eventually start bouncing back? [/B]
She lives to experience pain, and to give it if only to feel worse about herself from pushing boundaries and testing authority. She refuses all help from others. Even when she is so desperate to ask for it she rejects it. She has used drugs, I think to bring even more pain to herself (can't really go into details here)IP: Logged |
PlutoSurvivor Moderator Posts: 632 From: USA Registered: Sep 2011
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posted March 02, 2014 03:19 AM
This makes perfect sense, Gabby, what you initially wrote. Thank you for bearing your soul so publicly. It is very helpful to me. You see, my daughter has this aspect, Sado exact conjunct ascendant, orb of 15 minutes, in Sag. She also has 5H Moon in Aries conjunct Dejanira, so she sees me as abusive even though I know I am lucky for her. It is so easy to love her but not as easy to like her. She's 18 now, moved out, and I pray for her every day. In my heart I know she will have the strength to triumph over all her difficulties.
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Gabby Moderator Posts: 3312 From: Registered: Sep 2012
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posted March 02, 2014 11:49 AM
Pluto survivor, 1st...your name says so much about why your daughter and you are together!! Please know, her pain has come from past lives...as mine did also! Mine followed me into this life via a very sadistic step father....but I don't think it always has to be this way! If she had no or limited pain from this life, she will not be humbled n a door map as I was! Unconsciously she might even be angry at you that you didn't provide her the pain she wanted n needed, she could be unknowingly angry that you protected her! Her soul is so desperate to absorb as much as possible because she knows eventually she will get enough that the pain can end, she wants to get there as quickly as possible to make it end!I had a path set for me on how to absorb my pain by my step father....so in a really insane way, he focused me and gave me an easy path to absorb pain! Completely deny myself and allow everyone to hurt me as I blamed myself! Your daughter obviously didn't have someone try to destroy her...so no one taught her the most efficient path to self destruction(can I say...that shows you've tried to love her!) If she accuses you and you know you did nothing, remember this is another way she is trying up hurt herself! Isolating you, the person who loves her, making you hate her will hurt her so much!! The more you love her the more she will resent you, she unconsciously believes loving her is not helping her, right now she has no use for ppl loving her, it's not serving her needs right now! This is why this asteroid is called Sado, it makes no sense, it's just sadistic behavior! I guess in some ways I got lucky....my path was a quiet or silent self destruction! Nobody stopped my path, because nobody cared! I didn't have to reject or hurt anyone who loved me, no one did! What I can tell you is if someone had loved me, eventually I would have wanted nothing to do with them, I would have become resentful and angry at them....they would have served no purpose in my life! Now someone who treated me like dirt, I worshipped them! I worked so hard to win their approval and I treated them like they were my dream a god....really they were helping me get to the bottom of me pain cycle and unconsciously I knew once I hit that bottom....this would change....I could stop needing pain! Like that song says.... "But when you think I've had enough From your sea of love(replace with pain) I'll take more than another riverful" So try to remember this as you watch her....I know this isn't something anyone normal would do, but we need ppl that hurt us and we need to do things to the people that are kind and loving so they hate us....because it hurts us! If you want her love right now, don't be kind to her! But there will come a day she will be done with this cycle and she will no longer need to hurt and she's so lucky to have a mom that isn't naturally cruel to her! Your love is what she will eat up and need desperately! She will worship the ones that love her then!! Just keep her safe n alive and let her get through this! It will end! I started on my upswing around 30 but really it took another 5 years to start getting good at finding kindness and stop all the old patterns id learned! IP: Logged |
Gabby Moderator Posts: 3312 From: Registered: Sep 2012
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posted March 02, 2014 11:56 AM
quote: Originally posted by PlutoSurvivor: This makes perfect sense, Gabby, what you initially wrote. Thank you for bearing your soul so publicly. It is very helpful to me. You see, my daughter has this aspect, Sado exact conjunct ascendant, orb of 15 minutes, in Sag. She also has 5H Moon in Aries conjunct Dejanira, so she sees me as abusive even though I know I am lucky for her. It is so easy to love her but not as easy to like her. She's 18 now, moved out, and I pray for her every day. In my heart I know she will have the strength to triumph over all her difficulties.
My 12th house moon is conjunct Dejanira also, and Child! She will make it!!! My asteroid Triumf is conjunct Dejanira!! Look for things that give you hope so you can see this isn't how it will be forever!! As her mom, when you try to be the voice of reason....don't be emotional at all! Your emotions have a profound affect on her...she knows you love her so seeing your emotions puts huge stress on her! She loves you to but the battle inside her will not allow her to act on that love regularly! Your emotions put so much pressure on her, she loves n hates you for it! Try to show no emotion so you don't become an outlet for her self destruction! Be neutral so you can't be used as a way for her to hurt herself! IP: Logged |
Ami Anne Moderator Posts: 53712 From: Pluto/house next to NickiG Registered: Sep 2010
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posted March 02, 2014 11:57 AM
Wow Amazing thread. I have an idea and I just started doing it again because it works for any pain. The Book is Cure by Crying.If you don't get the book, you just like animal rescue videos or really heartfelt things and you cry. It empties the pain tank ------------------ Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course. http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
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Gabby Moderator Posts: 3312 From: Registered: Sep 2012
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posted March 02, 2014 12:26 PM
I've thought about writing a book called, "A girl named Sado"It would be fiction about this girl...who tortures another girl and all along you think she's just a terrible friend that does all this stuff to sabotage her friends life to get back at her for times her friend has let her down and unintentionally hurt her....but in the end you realize Sado is the pain inside the "friend", it's the way we are self destructive and why we do this to ourselves! Sado would be telling the story and explaining why she hates this "friend" so much and how she quietly goes about sabotaging her friends life! It would be a dark book, but in the end it would be a light shed on how the human nature works and why our pain will quietly destroy us if we refuse to see it or deal with it! IP: Logged |
CappyLove Knowflake Posts: 152 From: Ireland Registered: Feb 2014
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posted March 02, 2014 07:02 PM
Oh my god!! Me and my man have that placement!! In composite Sado close conjuncts the ASC and nymphe a bit more loosely! OOOhhhh boy! In the 1st house in Aquarius and the Sado is in conj the saturn which is in close conjunct to the moon in the 12th house...same sign -_-IP: Logged |
Ami Anne Moderator Posts: 53712 From: Pluto/house next to NickiG Registered: Sep 2010
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posted March 02, 2014 07:12 PM
quote: Originally posted by CappyLove: Oh my god!! Me and my man have that placement!! In composite Sado close conjuncts the ASC and nymphe a bit more loosely! OOOhhhh boy! In the 1st house in Aquarius and the Sado is in conj the saturn which is in close conjunct to the moon in the 12th house...same sign -_-
Tell me the story of this relationship. I just saw the Hekate conj nessus. I would think you have many aspects here of an abusive relationship. Is that true? ------------------ Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course. http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
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Gabby Moderator Posts: 3312 From: Registered: Sep 2012
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posted March 02, 2014 08:27 PM
quote: Originally posted by CappyLove: Oh my god!! Me and my man have that placement!! In composite Sado close conjuncts the ASC and nymphe a bit more loosely! OOOhhhh boy! In the 1st house in Aquarius and the Sado is in conj the saturn which is in close conjunct to the moon in the 12th house...same sign -_-
Whoa!!! The relationship will take you both to your darkest places, the ones you try to hide from even yourself! I can't say this good! Is there something in your natal that shows your destine to be pushed to such extremes that it forces you to heal? If so, this relationship could be part of that path....I had one of those relationships! But it wasn't any fun at all!! It was what finally broke me and pushed down so far I finally hit rock bottom! I'll go look at the synastry with me n that guys Sado! Brb
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Gabby Moderator Posts: 3312 From: Registered: Sep 2012
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posted March 02, 2014 08:59 PM
I have so much I want to say to you...but I don't feel like it's my place to say it! Where are the asteroids Destin, Karma and Klotho in your comp chart? Compared to Apophis, deprez, Nessus, Dejanira, Philomela and Sado?I'll explain my chart with this guy n tell you why I hesitate to say anything, about this aspect in a relationship!
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PlutoSurvivor Moderator Posts: 632 From: USA Registered: Sep 2011
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posted March 02, 2014 09:32 PM
quote: What I can tell you is if someone had loved me, eventually I would have wanted nothing to do with them, I would have become resentful and angry at them....they would have served no purpose in my life![/B]
So true for my daughter; the more she was shown love, the farther she would run from it, from everyone in her life who cared, friends and relatives included. Her father is back in her life now, the one who provided the "pain experience" for her when she was younger. I thought I was protecting her by breaking up the family - I didn't think that any parent should physically harm a child no matter how much a child wanted it. When he left she destroyed many things in the home, then put herself in dangerous situations at school and with friends, dropped out of clubs, truancy, probation, sex, drugs, all with the purpose of hurting herself. It wasn't even as bad as other stories you hear about with kids because she didn't do it to have a good time or to escape, she did it because she hated herself. My way to deal with it was to shut down emotionally because nothing I tried helped, professional help failed, no support or understanding from my family. Finally when I decided to honor my own needs and boundaries, it was too late to save the situation. I wish I would have read your remarks years ago. It comforts me now to know that I was right in following my intuition but I wish I had been stronger back then.IP: Logged |
PlutoSurvivor Moderator Posts: 632 From: USA Registered: Sep 2011
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posted March 02, 2014 09:36 PM
quote: Originally posted by Gabby: My 12th house moon is conjunct Dejanira also, and Child! She will make it!!! My asteroid Triumf is conjunct Dejanira!! Look for things that give you hope so you can see this isn't how it will be forever!!
I'm afraid it will not be as easy for her. She has harsh aspects with Triumf to Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto. Also, she has Child within 5 degrees of Moon. IP: Logged |
PlutoSurvivor Moderator Posts: 632 From: USA Registered: Sep 2011
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posted March 02, 2014 09:38 PM
quote: Originally posted by Gabby: As her mom, when you try to be the voice of reason....don't be emotional at all! Your emotions have a profound affect on her...she knows you love her so seeing your emotions puts huge stress on her! She loves you to but the battle inside her will not allow her to act on that love regularly! Your emotions put so much pressure on her, she loves n hates you for it! Try to show no emotion so you don't become an outlet for her self destruction! Be neutral so you can't be used as a way for her to hurt herself!
too late I have Cancer moon and she is Cancer Sun - very emotional times together. Lots of love and sharing, but overflowing with emotion. I was sensitive to her and it tore me up inside to feel her feeling pain. IP: Logged |
PlutoSurvivor Moderator Posts: 632 From: USA Registered: Sep 2011
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posted March 02, 2014 09:41 PM
quote: Originally posted by Ami Anne:
The Book is Cure by Crying.If you don't get the book, you just like animal rescue videos or really heartfelt things and you cry. It empties the pain tank
I always encouraged my daughter to cry.Sometimes I just held her forever, till she cried herself to sleep. I will look for the book at the library, thanks. IP: Logged |
Gabby Moderator Posts: 3312 From: Registered: Sep 2012
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posted March 02, 2014 09:43 PM
Pluto survivor....I edited this to share the experience as you suggested, I just don't want to encourage or discourage someone from what they need to do to heal! But I know when your higher self has a path set out for you, there is nothing that will stop it!! So really I guess I can't mess anything up to bad! LolMy composite chart with the guy that made me hit bottom! Sun virgo@11.14(<~@PS, my Triumf is conjunct this) Moon virgo@7.56 Venus virgo@5.39 Isnt that a pretty little love stellium in the 9th house!! Yeah! Its square to Neptune though! Neptune saggy@5.07 Mars cancer@2.23(on my natal Nessus csncer@2.24) Vertex cancer@3.57 Pluto libra@2.52 NN cap@13.49 Add into the love stellium.... Deprez virgo@10.32 Apophis virgo@6.47 Lol...not so pretty anymore! Lol Nessus gemini@25.10 and Saturn gemini@24.51 sit in our 7th house conjunct Dejanira gemini@28.43(on my natal mars gem@29.33) Nessus and Saturn t-square our IC/DC line pisces/virgo@25.30 Asteroid Sado...is exact square my natal NN Sado leo@22.04, Destin leo@22.15 opposed Klotho aqua@21.34...my natal NN scorpio@21.44 Sado is destin to teach me something through this relationship, it holds answers I need to help push me down my natal NN path! Pretty much the relationship is part of my spiritual growth! Asteroid Philomela is taurus@12.42, trined the composite NN cap@13.49 Philomela is exact square asteroid Devine aqua@12.14 My natal spirit is aqua@12.14! This relationship shows Philomela blocking Devine, the Devine that sits on my Spirit! Philomela trines the comp NN, which sits on my asteroid Prey! The relationship found me, I didn't go after it!! It found me just to wake me up to what I was doing to myself! I'm sure my ex has had his lessons from the relationship but this was the lesson meant for me!! The other thing is composite Karma cancer@27.28 My natal Aura is cancer@27.07 and Gaea cancer@27.14 This relationship brought the karma of what I was doing to myself into my aura, so close to me I couldn't miss it! Gaea is right there also, the relationship brought the beginning of my healing that karma! In this composite the Porta Coeli is cap@10.45 exact trine the moon or the emotions of the relationship....these emotions allow easy flow to Porta Coeli is "Doorway to Heaven" or "Heavens Gate" and it sits exact on my natal Valentine....again this relationship opens me up to what my higher self needed me to see, unconditional love...even for myself! So, that's why I can't say anything...sometimes we run to things for a reason, and in the end we will be better for it! But if you do not see any pattern telling you there is a higher cause for this and your higher self chose this for you......then you need to RUN!! Pain is not typically a good thing!
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PlutoSurvivor Moderator Posts: 632 From: USA Registered: Sep 2011
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posted March 02, 2014 09:46 PM
quote: Originally posted by Gabby: I have so much I want to say to you...but I don't feel like it's my place to say it! Where are the asteroids Destin, Karma and Klotho in your comp chart? Compared to Apophis, deprez, Nessus, Dejanira, Philomela and Sado?I'll explain my chart with this guy n tell you why I hesitate to say anything, about this aspect in a relationship!
I think it would be helpful to reveal, imo. Information and personal life experience can be very empowering for others to hear, and I know you are able to see the bigger picture when guiding CappyLove. Thank you for all of your sharing so far. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne Moderator Posts: 53712 From: Pluto/house next to NickiG Registered: Sep 2010
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posted March 02, 2014 09:47 PM
How old is your daughter, PS? What we are doing in this thread is why I love Astrology so much. It can explain our lives like nothing else. It is truly Divine imo------------------ Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course. http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
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Gabby Moderator Posts: 3312 From: Registered: Sep 2012
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posted March 02, 2014 10:01 PM
quote: Originally posted by PlutoSurvivor: So true for my daughter; the more she was shown love, the farther she would run from it, from everyone in her life who cared, friends and relatives included. Her father is back in her life now, the one who provided the "pain experience" for her when she was younger. I thought I was protecting her by breaking up the family - I didn't think that any parent should physically harm a child no matter how much a child wanted it. When he left she destroyed many things in the home, then put herself in dangerous situations at school and with friends, dropped out of clubs, truancy, probation, sex, drugs, all with the purpose of hurting herself. It wasn't even as bad as other stories you hear about with kids because she didn't do it to have a good time or to escape, she did it because she hated herself. My way to deal with it was to shut down emotionally because nothing I tried helped, professional help failed, no support or understanding from my family. Finally when I decided to honor my own needs and boundaries, it was too late to save the situation. I wish I would have read your remarks years ago. It comforts me now to know that I was right in following my intuition but I wish I had been stronger back then.
I'm sure your so worn down! I can't even imagine how hard it would be to love your child and helplessly have to watch them go through this! Please be assured, this is what your daughter needs to do and it has nothing to do with you!! It has nothing to do with any mistake you made! You could not have been strong enough or hard enough or soft enough to stop her from doing what's she's doing! This is her path, you must let her walk it! Hanging onto blame or guilt will only slow your path, and when she returns to you after she wakes up...you don't want to have spent years full of anxiety and frustration that made you miss life! Leave her to her higher self and she will get to where she needs to go, she's in good hands! What her path is, is a very personal journey that has little to do with you....it was her path before she was born she just chose you to share it with her! No matter what happens you can't blame yourself! You didn't do it! She chose this battle herself, she believed, her higher self knows she is strong enough to beat it and she wants to beat it this battle in this life...so let her!! You don't need to feel hurt and blame yourself! Be proud you have such a strong spiritual daughter that she decided to take on this particular battle in this life.....and in such a big way!! She's got guts!! Like I said, I've never seen anyone else with aspect....but I know the kind of life it gives you, she is very tough and very determined! She might not even get it in this life but she will come back even stronger and try again! There no need to stress...this is just her soul trying to grow to become better! It's not always pretty, but it's necessary, this is how we grow! IP: Logged |
Gabby Moderator Posts: 3312 From: Registered: Sep 2012
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posted March 02, 2014 10:04 PM
quote: Originally posted by PlutoSurvivor: I'm afraid it will not be as easy for her. She has harsh aspects with Triumf to Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto.Also, she has Child within 5 degrees of Moon.
That doesn't mean she will fail!!! My Neptune, Pallas, Vesta and Psyche all square or oppose mine to!! It just shows the battle isn't going to be easy! It's never is going to be easy!! If it was, what would we learn from it? Nothing! My asteroid Phoinix is exact square my Triumf also! But yet I'm rising from the ashes and starting over again!
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PlutoSurvivor Moderator Posts: 632 From: USA Registered: Sep 2011
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posted March 03, 2014 09:05 AM
quote: Originally posted by Gabby: Pluto survivor....I edited this to share the experience as you suggested, I just don't want to encourage or discourage someone from what they need to do to heal!
Understood. I know how difficult it is to heal later in life, after shying away from following your natural urges that bring you to encounters that grow you in a big way. Somehow it must be easier when you are younger, you have more years to balance out the experiences later in life. This is why I let my daughter go. Her Pluto is entering her 2H. Very tough survival lessons. I'm sure it will be another 20 years 'till she comes out of her struggles. It's not my job to live her life for her. The best thing any parent can do is allow their child to experience what they came to do and set the best example for them by living your own life with full responsibility to yourself. My daughter, in return, taught me some very important lessons about boundaries, control, self-respect, responsibility, unconditional love, independence. I just wish I had paid attention and got the message from her sooner so that we could have enjoyed each other more, had more good times together. During her childhood I thought it was the happiest time of my life, until now, I make every day the happiest time of my life. IP: Logged |
PlutoSurvivor Moderator Posts: 632 From: USA Registered: Sep 2011
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posted March 03, 2014 09:15 AM
quote: Originally posted by Gabby: Sado is destin to teach me something through this relationship, it holds answers I need to help push me down my natal NN path! Pretty much the relationship is part of my spiritual growth
My daughter has Scorpio NN, too, as do I and her father. All three if us have 7H Suns. Innately we must understand each other and need each other to see value in ourselves. Scorpio NN, at least for me, is learning how to trust. Trust Spirit and trust Self. Learning to value the Self in order to have something of value to merge with another in order to gain an exponentially greater amount than could ever be imagined without having released to each other what we are and what we own. IP: Logged | |