posted May 03, 2008 11:31 AM         

Thank you.

posted May 03, 2008 01:19 PM         

Your experiences move me.

posted May 04, 2008 06:55 PM         

There was this steel core in him that I haven't seen for a while. This is very good. He must be ready again.

As far as I can tell, it's the two oncologists who have been on call during the weekends that are having the hissy fits about him not being out of bed yet. Good thing they're not in charge the whole time...The one that's on duty this weekend, arbitrarily changed his PT, and added some medication willy nilly. This guy's attitude is 'I'm the doctor, I know what's best.' Like he's some parent. This is also the Dr. who gave Kevin the antibiotic 'just in case' which caused this fungal infection. That was during the blood clots hospitalization. That was one of the side effects of this medication.

Dr. Prow agreed with him about the PT when I asked, and the cardiologist told him that in a few more days they'd talk about getting him up more. He wants to be sure that his heart is healthy and well. Also it's good if he has the strength to walk first before attempting to do it. Kinda like the reason babies don't walk right away when they're born. There's a few goals to get to before walking.

It's a beautiful day out today!

Talk to you all tomorrow.
Hugs,
Amanda

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The truth is ... everything counts. Everything. Everything we do and everything we say. Everything helps or hurts; everything adds to or takes away from someone else. ~ Countee Cullen

We are weaving character every day, and the way to weave the best character is to be kind and to be useful. Think right, act right; it is what we think and do that makes us who we are. ~ Elbert Hubbard

posted May 04, 2008 11:29 PM         

I really respect the way you are dealing with this, I can literally see your soul growing on the boards here. Sharing your experience deepens all of our experiences. Your heartache is ours. Your joy is ours. Sharing this with us not only helps you get through it, it lets us all share and appreciate life.

I guess I almost didn't want to post because I felt this was so "karma heavy" and I didn't want to be affiliated with it. This of course is indicative of my flighty and disconnected nature. Something I"m trying to overcome. So through you, through this, I am learning about myself, and I think everyone is. I realize now that supporting people in their time of need is one of the most valuable things you can do as a human being. Even though I don't know you that well, I feel like I do because I can feel your fear, pain, despair, hope, excitement.

I believe the cure for cancer is coming, it's just a matter of finding the right cocktail of drugs for each particular type of cancer. It must be so hard to love someone as much as you do and see them suffering. Your strength is an inspiration.

You aren't on this roller coaster alone, we're all here for you.

posted May 05, 2008 11:54 AM         

Thank you for taking the time to post your thoughts and feelings. It really does help me cope to know that people are pulling for us. I really don't know where I would be if it weren't for the kindness of people both on and offline.

I understand your feelings about being scared. I'm scared quite a bit, and if I could just wish this away I would in a heartbeat. This is the card I got dealt, and I have to play it out, no matter what that means in the end.

I'm glad to know that people find meaning in my experiences. It makes me feel like there truly is a larger reason for this happening to my family.

~~~~~~~~~~
I wish each of you joy and happiness, and endless love.

Love,
Amanda

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The truth is ... everything counts. Everything. Everything we do and everything we say. Everything helps or hurts; everything adds to or takes away from someone else. ~ Countee Cullen

We are weaving character every day, and the way to weave the best character is to be kind and to be useful. Think right, act right; it is what we think and do that makes us who we are. ~ Elbert Hubbard

posted May 06, 2008 07:46 AM         

Kevin continues to work on his PT. Yesterday, he sat up on the edge of the bed in the morning for about 30 sec. before he had to lay back down. Yesterday afternoon, he sat for about 5 minutes =) He said he feels much stronger everyday. He's refined his PT that he does on his own, and they gave him a large rubber band type thing that he does arm exercises with. I took the kids into see him when they got back, and he really lit up when he got to talk to them.

Dr. Prow said yesterday, that if the bowel infections aren't gone when I go into labor, that Kevin isn't allowed at the birth, and also she said that I shouldn't bring Tegan up to see him either. This was very hard to hear. In short what this means, is that I won't see Kevin for about 8 weeks until Tegan gets the hang of nursing. Having had both children who got nipple confusion, and children who didn't have nipple confusion, I prefer those without nipple confusion, as it makes the nursing so much more enjoyable. Though yesterday one of his labs, did come back negative. So it's one down and one to go.

Kevin is eating more at each meal now. This is great! I think the want to come home and take back his life, is such a good motivator for him.

Thursday we will try the 'bring spring inside' art project again. The kids are pretty excited.

I don't know much else right now.

I hope you all have a wonderful day. Find a moment to get outside if you can, it's looking fabulous out there already!

Hugs and Love,
Amanda

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The truth is ... everything counts. Everything. Everything we do and everything we say. Everything helps or hurts; everything adds to or takes away from someone else. ~ Countee Cullen

We are weaving character every day, and the way to weave the best character is to be kind and to be useful. Think right, act right; it is what we think and do that makes us who we are. ~ Elbert Hubbard

posted May 07, 2008 10:35 AM         

I just have to hope that it will get cleared up soon, and that way the children can at least see him. It would be nice for Kevin to be able to attend the birth of his newest daughter as well.

I met my OB yesterday, and I am highly impressed, and greatly relieved as well. She's very open to my thoughts on how birth should be a sacred and spiritual time, and that since I have had successful vaginal births, there's no reason to go off the deep end and assume that tragedy will strike, it's only a matter of time. She understood that I don't want to be tied up and strapped down to things, I want to be able to move during labor, in order to use that crazy force called gravity to help birth Tegan.

Talk to you all later.
Hugs,
Amanda

------------------
The truth is ... everything counts. Everything. Everything we do and everything we say. Everything helps or hurts; everything adds to or takes away from someone else. ~ Countee Cullen

We are weaving character every day, and the way to weave the best character is to be kind and to be useful. Think right, act right; it is what we think and do that makes us who we are. ~ Elbert Hubbard

posted May 08, 2008 07:41 AM         

I know, and I don't know what I'd say or do if I wasnt' in this situation either to someone. Really what can you say? Just give the person a hug and let them know you're there, and if they need something, to let you know. Thanks for the support I really appreciate it a great deal.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We were talking about the quarantine, and Kevin says to me, 'A day without you is like a day without sunshine.' *sigh* I wish I could give him a big kiss. It will be so nice when he comes home.

Yesterday he sat up on the side of the bed doing PT for 25 minutes! Yay! And in the afternoon he stood upright! Huzzah!!

Dr. Prow says he may be able to be released in 3 weeks =) Just in time for me to go to the hospital LOL Timing is everything right? Some of the nurses were talking with me before I left, and one of them said he may end up in skilled care before he comes home. Which is understandable I suppose.

On the whole a very good day yesterday.

I've noticed my updates are getting shorter as the days go by, and I take that as a very good sign that we are on the right track to health and wholeness.

For those of you who've asked, my due date is May 29th. Though one of the nurses joked with me, that it would be good if she came late a week, just to give Kevin an extra week of recovery. =) I don't know about that, since I'm carrying her around here...Those of you who've been at 37 weeks pregnant know exactly what I mean!

Today is the art project day, I'll let you all know how it turns out.

Have a beautiful day!

Love,
Amanda

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The truth is ... everything counts. Everything. Everything we do and everything we say. Everything helps or hurts; everything adds to or takes away from someone else. ~ Countee Cullen

We are weaving character every day, and the way to weave the best character is to be kind and to be useful. Think right, act right; it is what we think and do that makes us who we are. ~ Elbert Hubbard

posted May 08, 2008 08:08 AM         

Hooray- you baby will be a Gemini!

posted May 09, 2008 03:33 PM         

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Today Kevin told me that the chemo treatment was pretty tough yesterday. He said the fatigue hit him almost immediately. He had the staff shave his head, just to get it over with, since it's inevitable that it will fall out. Luckily he has a lovely shaped head, and looks good bald too. They've started putting him on this machine, that gets him upright, without him having to expend the energy to do it, until he gets stronger. Apparently when you spend so much time in bed, when you do start to get back out of bed, your blood pressure drops and you almost faint. I thought it looked like some modern torture rack...I asked him if he'd been misbehaving when I came in today. He is in pretty good spirits. We talked about looking forward to his coming home.

The spring taping went really well, and I think we'll do a couple more here as well. The kids had a great time playing with Uncle Asa =) It was certainly a beautiful day for it!

Today the boys had the final class of their homeschool enrichment class, and they had a picnic at the park! O joyous day at the park in the fine weather, with multiple aged children!!! LOL They SAID they ate some lunch...but there seems to be quite a bit left over here.

Talk to you later.
Hugs,
Amanda

------------------
The truth is ... everything counts. Everything. Everything we do and everything we say. Everything helps or hurts; everything adds to or takes away from someone else. ~ Countee Cullen

We are weaving character every day, and the way to weave the best character is to be kind and to be useful. Think right, act right; it is what we think and do that makes us who we are. ~ Elbert Hubbard

posted May 10, 2008 09:56 PM         

Several of the nurses have told me how nice it would be, if I gave birth while I was up on the 5th floor. LOL Guess they like a change of pace too. They said since the lab people are the ones to collect the cord blood, they could just come up there instead. They also commented on how they too have warm blankets. I think we've been adopted.

Today was a really wonderful day. =)

I hope you each had the same.
Talk to you tomorrow.
Lovies, and Huggies,
Amanda

------------------
The truth is ... everything counts. Everything. Everything we do and everything we say. Everything helps or hurts; everything adds to or takes away from someone else. ~ Countee Cullen

We are weaving character every day, and the way to weave the best character is to be kind and to be useful. Think right, act right; it is what we think and do that makes us who we are. ~ Elbert Hubbard

posted May 11, 2008 11:00 PM         

We took a small break from the hospital to attend UU, and I was glad we did. It was a great service, and I would have been sorry to miss the bridging ceremony.

This afternoon we watched a food network show, about cakes, which was of particular interest to Morgen, as they were making the cake for the Harry Potter premiere!

Then we all listened, well I napped on the couch, and Morgen read Chapter 5 of the first Harry Potter book to the boys out loud. After she was done, they wandered off to talk to the nurses. Kevin mentioned that he really enjoyed hearing the reading. He said it was much better than watching TV all the time. So I proceeded to read Chapter 6. He sat there with a big smile on his face the whole time.

He told me that this is really tough for him, the chemo. It hits him hard, and he is weak. I told him, to make sure to ask for nausea medication, that's why they have it available. I reminded him that no one expects him to be a super hero about this.

After we ate dinner, Ewen decided he wanted to read aloud to Dad too, so he read a few pages. He has really come a long way this year with his reading. I was so pleased, as the boys don't often read aloud. He was so happy to get to help Dad too, I could tell.

Since Dr. Prow shows up so early in the mornings for rounds, Kevin is going to be the one to talk to her about being present for the birth. Even being there, behind glass or something would be better than missing it. I think he'd be so depressed if he didn't get to see Tegan arrive. If she still is not wanting this, then I just guess I won't be able to 'make it' down to the 4th floor...Oh well. I trust that the Universe will provide the experience our family needs. This isn't something that happens everyday, and especially with the circumstances, I think it would be highly detrimental to Kevin's spirits to miss this.

I hope you all had a lovely Mother's Day, whether you are a Mommy, or have one ;-)

Talk to you tomorrow.
Love,
Amanda

------------------
The truth is ... everything counts. Everything. Everything we do and everything we say. Everything helps or hurts; everything adds to or takes away from someone else. ~ Countee Cullen

We are weaving character every day, and the way to weave the best character is to be kind and to be useful. Think right, act right; it is what we think and do that makes us who we are. ~ Elbert Hubbard

posted May 12, 2008 10:52 PM         

This afternoon, Morgen managed to fracture her right ulna. What is it with our family and broken bones in May?!? It's very tiny, and only requires a sling. So it could have turned out a lot worse. I'm just sorry it happened. She's pretty bummed about it, and hopes it won't have to be on long. We are supposed to see the orthopedic doctor sometime this week, and funnily enough, it's the same one we saw with Bowie's first broken arm.

Other than that, not much else LOL happened today.

I am tired, and thinking about going to bed.
Hugs,
Amanda

------------------
The truth is ... everything counts. Everything. Everything we do and everything we say. Everything helps or hurts; everything adds to or takes away from someone else. ~ Countee Cullen

We are weaving character every day, and the way to weave the best character is to be kind and to be useful. Think right, act right; it is what we think and do that makes us who we are. ~ Elbert Hubbard

posted May 14, 2008 11:17 PM         

Morgen had a good checkup. Dr. said that she will only have to be in the sling for a week, and then we'll start moving it around. That is very good news. Hopefully, it will be a straightforward heal.

I had a good appointment as well. Tegan (Yes, Fran, Teagan is a possibility!) is presenting nicely, and is where she should be.

Kevin got blood today, because his red blood cell count was low, so we must be at the low point. Yesterday, or the day before I told them he was starting to feel physically down, and also his nose turned bright red again, which is what happened last time. So they said they'd keep a real close eye on him.

Dr. Prow told me today, that everything has been set up for Kevin to be at the birth. Yay! His nurse said, that we both looked so much happier and better after that bit of news. I have to say I am very relieved, and so is Kevin. I just couldn't do it without him being there.

Now if we can manage a pair of eyewear, so that he has clarity, that will be the next thing off of our list.

A pretty good day today.

Goodnight, and sweet dreams!

Love,
Amanda

------------------
The truth is ... everything counts. Everything. Everything we do and everything we say. Everything helps or hurts; everything adds to or takes away from someone else. ~ Countee Cullen

We are weaving character every day, and the way to weave the best character is to be kind and to be useful. Think right, act right; it is what we think and do that makes us who we are. ~ Elbert Hubbard