posted October 05, 2010 05:49 AM              

So I take it no news is actually good news or maybe you've decided to run a marathon to shake her out, lol.

posted December 30, 2010 08:45 PM            

nearly 3 months old!

posted January 02, 2011 12:23 AM            

The name of this topic reminded me of the song that comes on the end of the Dora shows:

We did it!
We did it!
We did it! Hooray!
Nos hicimos!
We did it!

posted January 02, 2011 01:04 AM            

Cute!!!

Tahlea likes dora.

posted January 03, 2011 02:10 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by SunChild:

Tahlea likes dora.

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posted January 12, 2011 04:27 PM            

Sure I will come back later and tell you about my experiences and things I observed and learned a long the way.

posted January 13, 2011 04:39 PM            

fascinating!!

Be back when this babies are asleep this afternoon so I can chat with you.

posted January 13, 2011 05:33 PM            

First pregnancy, Tahleas Birth:

Before I became pregnant I knew that I wanted a natural birth, to breastfeed and not vaccinate, I had done so much research and put my intention strongly into the universe that I was very confident that things would go as planned. I tried to use a bit of faith.

It's a scary time- or it can be. Everything changes when you find out you're pregnant, suddenly life isn't about you anymore, although we, as good people, aren't selfish, obviously, it just makes you realise that someone else come into ALL decision making, and they're not even born yet!

During the 9 months, I stayed away from anything toxic, ate well, ate a lot and just protected the growing baby inside, it was an uneventful pregnancy, had no complications, no sickness, no ailments.

Labor started spontaneously at 6am on 6/09/07, I felt calm and peaceful on the inside- I just knew, just a deep knowing that this day is going to be perfect! So I did not fear, not worry, not feel concerned at all. I was majorly excited though, calm and excited is an unusal feeling. I had my birth plan ready to explain to the midwives.

I got to the hospital around 10, my labor was still in its early stage- cramping was 10 minutes apart, coming in waves, but they were starting to become painful.

I told my midwives, two beautiful ladies, that I wanted everything to happen naturally, and no one is to take my baby for needles, bathing, or weighing. I will do that when I am ready, minus the needle part.
They were wonderfully understanding and respected every one of my requests. I remember thanking God that I had the most two beautiful Angels taking care of me! And when I say beautiful, I mean beautiful, inside and out.

The first half of the day was me pacing the hospital floor, (the reason I chose a hospital birth is that I received a precognition that I would hemorrhage, and tear) I paced and paced as the contractions moved closer to together, it was nearly 4 in the afternoon and I was checked, it was progressing but very slowly.

They offered to break my water, for some reason I let them, it was going against "let it happen naturally", but I really just wanted to speed things up, I really wanted the baby out- (although I would discourage it unless labor has gone on for more than 24 hours!)

They broke my water- and bam! Labor kicked into transition, 9 cms dilated, incredible crippling pain, no break, I lay down, tried some gas, gas doesn't really do anything! So I stopped and decided to enter the pain realm. I discovered something very odd during this time, I went into another dimension, it's like I was hovering above my reality, watching everything, I can see pain as a living world, it stopped hurting, I was in bliss, her head was on the way out, I felt orgasmic for about 30 seconds! I was on my back, with my knees pulled back as far as they'd go. My head forward pushing with each contraction.

As her head was crowing, I felt tearing, which pulled me back to Earth! I remember a doctor running in with scissors, she said she must cut me so the head can come out, I said ok, and OMG! The pain was disgusting, I felt like vomiting, but I felt her head come out and the rest of her body, in an instant! I put my new baby on my chest right away, they stitched me up while I was in love with my new baby, didn't really feel a thing after that!

I wanted my placenta to be delivered naturally, but because I was actually hemorrhaging, pretty badly, they had to give me oxytocin to induce the delivery of the placenta. I also was given a drip, the bleeding stopped 600+ mL's later.

I was out of it for a while due to blood loss- I always refuse a transfusion unless it's life threatening. They scared me into giving Tahlea a vitK shot- I let them, I was angry later, but I was so happy that I fought off all vaccinations. She escaped them all!

Breastfeeding began by me letting her latch in within 30 minutes of birth- she was sleepy though, didn't really get a good latch and she slept all through the night until the next morning. So in the morning I tried re- latching, she was having a lot of trouble, could not do it! I started crying.
I had to express my colostrum, I gave it to her in a spoon. I was in hospital for 5 days due to my tearing. I expressed while I was in hospital but had to supplement with formula.

The feeding part was a disaster, it was an emotionally crazy time, when your breasts fill with milk it's pure emotion! And you have to give it to your baby- but when they can't latch you feel intense depression, so you must express and give, but that messes with supply, my supply dropped off because I supplemented with formula, then she refused my milk, I then told her I was sorry, blamed myself, I would hold her, tears would be streaming down my face, expressing my sorrow, and how sorry I was I couldn't feed her the very best milk in existence! I said 'i let you down"... I felt like the worst mother in the world.

I remember one of my darkest moments was day 3, hormone drop day! Milk coming in day! Breastfeeding battle! Breasts full, I had my catheter in because I tore near my urethra, was in the bathroom in the shower, I couldn't stand up straight because of new deflated diaphram,I looked in the mirror and just cried like a crazy person. I also had received a call from my now ex partner- and he was drunk and couldn't come to visit me.

But after my milk dried up, many days later and she was thriving on formula, I felt better, and my self talked changed into "I did everything I could", my LOVE took over and it turned into the best day of my life....And I also remember giving her young coconut water- from the breasts of the Earth- that helped me deal with it, she got plenty of raw nutrition, pure spiritual nutrition from those nuts- something natural! I was happy I did that at least, most formula babies do not get that.

I moved away from my now-ex, because he beat me infront of my baby- and moved with my mother- in a the country, with lots of fresh air, trees, non-toxic living, ect...

Tahlea is 3 years old now- beautiful, well behaved, healthy intelligent young girl.
I made sure her first days & first years was as comfortable, loving, secure as possible. She has never been to a doctor, never been to a health nurse (besides the home visits and the regulated ones in the first few month of her life), she has never been sick, never been vaccinated.

Overall, I wanted a natural birth because, a. it's normal and natural, b. i knew entering pain was important for spiritual growth, and learning how to transcend c. I knew it's something I could handle d. it's the safest thing for me and baby. After my next story about Angelica I will go into Vaccinations, Vit K, and wisdom for healthy natural birthing in great detail since my knowledge deepened when Angelica was conceived.

I will go on to the next birth- Angelica in detail soon.

Things were improved this time. I learned a lot with Tahlea.

posted January 13, 2011 05:57 PM            

pacing

Just gave birth

here's me wrecked!

posted January 13, 2011 06:04 PM            

still enjoying young coconuts as she grew

natural things to touch and taste

posted January 13, 2011 07:14 PM            

Public Schools require vaccines certificates, or an objection certificate- either way- I can't be bothered with all that....

Steiner Schools are cool with non-vax.

posted January 14, 2011 04:04 PM            

I never thought I'd get married, I never thought that I would have Tahlea, and then when my husband and I decided to have Angelica- I never before expected anything like this to happen. That's how it goes, usually !

posted January 19, 2011 07:22 PM            

It has already partly been said how Angelica was conceived. It was interesting that we felt her presence long before I actually conceived. The Universe lined her up in a certain way. The day she was conceived is still very vivid in my mind. One morning I woke up with urgency in my heart to bring a child into the world with my Husdand. He wanted to wait a little but I did not want to wait as I felt by doing so we would miss a great opportunity. That day he went to his friends house and I was at home mulling over ways to explain my feelings and the odd feeling of urgency I had. He came home in the evening, one of the first things he said to me was a talk he had with his friend about having babies. His friend advised him that waiting is pointless if you are sure you want to do this- a year here nor there wont make a difference, so why risk the wait? My husband decided we will try and conceive. That night during our usual love making, in my minds eye I could actually See the spiritual process taking place, we both did. The next morning I knew without a doubt I was pregnant even though the sperm had not reached my egg. But I knew! And we were happy. 12 days later I missed my period. He was away on a gaming trip, I took pregnancy test before I texted him the news to confirm, two blue lines! I did not need the test but I wanted something to show! We were pregnant!

Anyway, once I found out I increased the healthy foods, cut out anything like coffee and drank lots of water. I did get some morning sickness, unlike my first pregnancy. From 6 weeks until 12 weeks I felt sick most of the time, like mild nausea which prevented me from eating most types of food. I drank a small amount of raspberry leaf tea at this stage but kept the dosage small until my final trimester.

My emotions were ok during my pregnancy with Angelica, I did not have many ups and downs, although there were brief patches were my tolerance was low, I easily became flustered and irritated but a good sleep in or rest fixed that. I was very sensitive to energies though, as expected, loud noises, smells, loud people were like sand paper, more like a cheese grater on my soul.

As the pregnancy progressed I was writing a blog on a mothering site so i'll copy and paste here

quote:

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By March 25 I was already 10 weeks. I measured my due date for september 27th, which is close to the date when I had Tahlea, just a few weeks difference. This time I had mild morning sickness, if I had a drink of water my hunger would vanish even if I had not yet eaten anything for the day, most food I did not want to eat, the thought of it made me physcially nauseous. Sometimes I would eat some toast and feel quite sick for a few hours following. I could not stomach any raw veggies, I could eat some fruit, but mostly I wanted plain boring food, I did not want meat so much but occasionally I craved red meat, so I ate it whenever I felt I needed to. To me its important to listen to the body over the mental chatter and dogma.

April 8th I measured 15 weeks pregnant, and showing earlier than I did with Tahlea. I started feeling little movements in my lower abdomen. I fully popped a couple of weeks later and everyone knew I was pregnant by then. I missed all my first trimester screening, ultrasounds and check ups. I didnt feel any need or concern to have any medical help during this phase.

By the 18th week my morning sickness had gone and my appetite came back with a vengence. I began making up for all the foods I could not stomach before, and all these cravings came in like an avalanche, I must have put on a few kg’s! But mama is a happy mama!

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quote:

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Early May I gave in and decided to have an ultrasound, (I know I know, butI felt something was up) something in me wanted to so I did. I measured 19 weeks, which was great and on target, the baby was developing nicely, but we could not tell if it was a boy or girl. The baby’s left kidney did show some cystic lesions which may or may not resolve, if they do not resolve then the baby will grow up to have one functioning kidney, or 2 but 1 with less function. I am kind of surprised but our baby is still developing and now I have this information I will be getting another ultrasound on June 10 to check on the kidney.

A side note: I find it interesting that I was listening to Elena talk about Conscious Conception, and her video Birth into being, about conscious birthing, and all the while I had been listening to Nassim Harrameins Event Horizon, and all of a sudden I noticed that Nassim’s wife was in Elenas video having an orgasmic birth! I was attracted to Nassim and Elena for a reason. How wonderful! I feel totally empower to manifest a joyous birth!

I am now 24 weeks pregnant, a nice glowing belly, lots of movement, feeling wonderful. My next appointment is tomorrow- and I will also check on the kidneys of the baby and hopefully it has resolved itself. I will end the blog here and update as time progresses and share more conscious insights.

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quote:

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Certainly impatience, fears, frustrations have made their way for thought-processing, but one thing I do know about fear is that it is the most unreasonable of all emotions except for the “life preserving exceptions”… being necessary but easily accessed, especially when a life changing event horizon becomes in sight. I let myself experience unreasonable thoughts and often find myself learning more about me than I thought I ever would. It’s a process ~ as women we must be wise enough to know what is responsible for certain thoughts and do not let them control our feelings, rather let our feelings control our thoughts. If we silent the mind and consult the heart, the heart will not speak but will offer a general mood or feeling we can go by- if the feeling is good and ecstatic, let the unreasonable thoughts subside, for they are inventions of the wounded child in us. If the feelings are doubtful, then continue to dig deeper, finding the source of the feeling ~ travel through all our fears until we are satisfied we have dealt with them all. Too many women spend their time experiencing unreasonable thoughts of fear and anxiety surrounding birth when we could just be enjoying the feeling, not robbing ourselves of a powerful experience. It is easy to obsess in a vulnerable state- I just think it’s time we owe ourselves and our fetus the powerful, creation, divine love we can experience into euphoria taking care of labor and delivery, learning how to invoke the powerful state of mind and heart rather than letting fear or anxiety hold the reigns. Who’s with me?

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quote:

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So above are my thoughts ~ about how emotion and deep sense of fear or freedom from fear will inevitibly dictate how we will fair during the labor. I don’t want to get carried away with false confidence, so I make sure everything that I know and what to expect is reality based, and there are thousands of women who have done it before me and will continue to do it after me. What I am talking about is a blissful birth, also known as an orgasmic birth or ecstatic birth- all you have to do is use your friend google and the first 10 websites contain a wealth of information, testimonies, evidence, talks given my doctors, midwives, doulas, and birthing experts who reveal the truth about birth and how closely connected it is with the expectations of the mother. I have given birth before so I know what I am entering in to, my first birth was a blissful birth 50% of the time, I had moments of esctatic bliss and some moments of testing pain, but in no moment was I ever afraid. I was able to dilate and give birth gently and easily, fear never entered me. I feel initiated into the transcendental state beyond fear. My second birth will be my second test, can I make this 100% blissful? I have no doubt!

June 26- 6 months pregnant!~ I had another ultrasound to check on the kidney of our baby. the cysts remained unchanged, but the other kidney is healthy and so is she! I will have to give her a kidney ultrasound when she is 4 weeks old, the birth and the first weeks can remain quiet and no need for medical attention. Which is a relief to know that there is no rush. Most of the time a mytiscystic dysplastic kidney will shrink and resolve on its own. My stomach is larger and I am feeling regular movements, i’ve had midwife checkups and everything is going great. This is a healthy pregnancy.

July 16- I’m measuring 7 months pregnant! Knowing that I am a few weeks away from being “full term” is exciting, so getting a birth plan in place and being prepared is on my mind. My birth plan is quite simple, grounded and well thought out. I will be delivering naturally (vaginally) on my terms and in my own time within a hospital birth suite. I will have a nice quiet room attended by midwives and my husband, I have medical care just outside the door, and I can relax and be at peace with the birth in my own room. I will have red raspberry tea, coconut water on hand, a fitball to roll my hips during contractions, and a nice bed incase I want to lay down. I plan on squatting rather than laying on my back for delivery. Last time I had a tear, this time I realise the tear can be prevented if I use a better position. I am not expecting anything other than my own capabilities to give birth, I trust myself and my husband, and the midwives are there for a little support and reassure me and my husband on progress.

We have a name for our baby girl, Angelica. It suites her angelic face we saw on the ultrasound. I can’t wait to meet her!! I will get around to posting more detail about the herbs I plan to drink, the coconut water, breastfeeding, and more detail about the birth in time. I will update in a few weeks after my wedding. Pictures and daily updates are on my facebook page.

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quote:

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So here I find myself full-term.. I’m in the final “month” of pregnancy. From full term to “past due” is a nice 5 week window… to the prodromal, pre-laborer the five week window feels as if ~time~ is now some kind of punishment, when in reality it is the greastest gift of patience and the greatest likelihood that actual labor will be swift since all the bodily preparations have been accomplished in the previous weeks. But that is only what some experiences have been, to me, reading birth stories only shows that everyone is 100% unique and no two labors/pre labors/births are a like. So there is no way to know what is going to happen. Only that at the end you get a beautiful prize like nothing else in this world! We are anticipating her arrival with great excitement now.

Since I passed the 37 week milestone, it was as if a button was pushed that initiated some kind of changing of gears in mother natures engine. Although I was already getting uncomfortable braxton hicks contractions, they increased in frequency and it is now coupled with irregular menstral-type cramping sensations, like when you have your period, my cervix must be changing because I am also losing peices of my mucus plug, not to mention the miserable, tired feelings a long with it. I realise how important sleep is at this stage, sleeplessness can send you into a real negative mind frame for no reason, it can play with your emotions and things feel hopeless. But when you feel rested you feel powerful, postiive and amazing. I noticed this because I’m so sensitive to all bodily functions at the moment and am paying attention to myself more than I ever have. I forgive myself when I feel emotional and irritated, a hot shower, hot tea and a good sleep fixes all.

I have no intention to try and bring-on labor, it’s an illusion, if the body is not ripe for it then nothing like curry, sex, or nipple stimulation will do this, even pitocin does not work if the body is not ready. And I have every intention in letting nature run her course throughout my body, just like a flower in bloom. Forcing those petals wont do any good if they are tightly closed, peeling the petals away from the bud will create an uncomfortable result. I plan on enhancing the pleasure of labor and prelabor, like eating as much chocolate as I want, drinking plenty of Red Raspberry leaf tea (uterine tonic), frequent orgasms, hot showers, being lazy, reading positive stories, visualising painless childbirth! Other than that, I have no control over when labor will happen, and I keep saying that because it is a common symptom of the prodromal mother to feel impatient, it’s totally normal, and I have to admit I find myself feeling impatient several times a day, usually after a nice contraction!

So any day now I will be suddenly swept into the ocean of labor, riding the waves of contractions, my uterus is going to go to work and I will have Angelica snuggled into my arms in no time! I plan to recover at home and focus all my energy on establishing a nourishing breastfeeding routine and sleep. I would like to restore all my energy within a week or two so I can be a positive and happy mother for my two little girls.

My next update will be my beautiful birth story

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Sorry for the cut paste job- I felt it better to post what I wrote -at the time, than try and remember everything. It's kind of sweet to read that again....

I remember the birth VIVIDLY.

Ok here's the thing. I was on my due date and I knew that babies can come up to 3 weeks post date, so I was happy to wait. I was checked by a doctor, no change to cervix yet and she was already talking about induction before a week over due! My tone changed with her, and I said, I would like to wait until 2 weeks before a consideration (I was thinking 3 but I said 2 because I would have freaked the doctor out). She agreed. Good, so now I knew I would not be pushed for an induction.
But I will mention that I chose another hospital birth again because I already knew what was going to happen to my vagina...lol
I already knew I would bleed too much and tear, even though I had prepare to try and prevent this, I wanted to be in control and have a safety net.
Those are my reasons, if it was not for that, a home birth would have been my absolute priority, my next birth is a homebirth but I'll save that for when it happens! My body is going to react differently next time, that I know, these two births were rushed and I will explain why that caused hemorrhage and tearing. it was my fault (subconscious)... even though saying that seems like I'm blaming myself but I don't feel bad about it, rather I have learned from it and feel GOOD about it!

So now I'm nearly 41 weeks, I can already feel labor approaching so I was not worried. I forgot to mention the part where she was breach and they wanted to give me a c-section- but the day they wanted to check the babies position was the day she flipped to head down! The thing is, after the talk of c-section I had dream I was giving birth standing up, I had a psychic vision of how it was going to play out- so the whole time I knew I was not going to have a c-section. The reason was that I would not have been able to birth breach was the way I am designed, ok maybe I could have but it would have caused a lot of damage down there.

I was checked again after 41 weeks, 3/4 cms, I was already in labor but I didn't say anything to the doctor or anyone else. I peacefully kept quiet and labored all night....Although I didn't feel comfortable with calling it labor because I was in no pain, but I was in active labor, if you know what I am talking about. That night I drank 3 times more red raspberry leaf tea than usual (the last trimester I drank up to 7 cups a day- IT WORKS!!!!!) By the morning I hit transition, but everyone else thought I hit labor. I went straight to the hospital and was 9cms!
No time to think or talk, or prepare. I went straight to pushing. I felt her head moving down. I was laying on my back and told them I hated it. They told me to stand and go to the toilet....I said I will not go to the toilet...how ridiculous.... But I stood up and had my hands on the elevated bed for support, my legs were apart and she was coming out fast!
I remember feeling the pain- the sharp agonizing terrorizing pain.... where's the bliss? I heard a voice, the pain for me in my path was necessary, I understood why.... the pain was necessary for me. I enjoyed the pain. I felt it split a seed inside of me so something new could sprout. I have no doubt.

While all this was entering my mind Angelicas head was crowining, I was splitting inside my vagina, blood was pouring out... I realised I pushed too hard and too fast.... taking it slow and having faith would have prevented that. I know it with my heart and soul, but a moment of anxiety took over because I could feel her turning blue-yes I could feel her turning blue. And it scared me. So I pushed with force & strength that was beyond my human capabilities and I caused myself damage.

After she was born the midwife passed her into my hands, the cord was too short and I was bleeding everywhere so delayed cord cutting was cancelled and my husband cut the cord, I put her on my breast right away. She suckled great! The tear was very bad, and I had oxytocin drip to help me deliver the placenta, it took longer than usual, but they were able to stop the bleeding and sew me up.

She breastfeed very well. I only wanted to stay over night and go home the next morning. I had to argue a bit but they let me go home! She avoided ALL normal hospital testing, pricking, vaccines, K, bathing, hear testing! She stayed in my arms the whole time, and on my breast nealy the whole time.

While breastfeeding I was having Ester C, Omega DHA, Spatone (elemental iron in spring water), Vit K natural sourced, Magnesium. My breast milk was glowing... haha! I was drinking 3 litres of water a day.

Breastfeeding issues hit me hard. My nipples became cracked, I bled into my babies mouth and had lumps everywhere! Every problem happened to me.
The reason is also I am very sensitive in the skin, more than most people. so I had to take care. I had to express milk, top up, constantly, it was hard and I'd cry regularly. I would advise a mother never to give up easily with breastfeeding. It is worth it! All the pain, sleepless nights, the agony is worth it and you will look back after a few months and be glad you put up with the issues, because it takes up to 6 weeks or sometimes longer before breastfeeding is perfected each time and the issues have resolved.

Angelica is a LARGE lol healthy 3.5 month old now. I hope I experessed my story ok... I know I left bunches of good information out so I will add it in later as they come back to me... I mentioned raspberry leaf tea making labor painless, transition faster, and my uterus strong! I mentioned my supplements to help me recover.
It took me 8 weeks to fully recover, the tear did not hurt as much but I was bruisy for 6 weeks and my tailbone was sore for 8 weeks. My husband and I resumed most sexual things after 4 days LMAO! I did pelvic floor excerises, ball core strength and slept when baby slept. I will also add, when you are breastfeeding, then that is all you should be thinking about- let your husband or support person take care of the rest, just focus on that only and be passionate about it.

That's all for now. I have a few photos I'll post next.