posted May 29, 2014 07:52 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ceridwen:

Short answer, Yes.

Medium long answer. As long as you are fighting against it (a feeling inside of you), you provide it with energy, which makes you two being pulled back into this dance again and again.

Acceptance of what is (not of what was, or could be!), is the first step to letting go, letting things unfold as they do.

I do get it though, with a Saturn-Node aspects and Dr Saturn on ASC that is really difficult and challenging. However, accept that there will always be a bond between the two of you.

But this should hold neither of you back to live your life to the fullest, also involving other people.

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I respect the bluntness.. But euhhhh... Lol..
I've have finally let it all go, I'm completely moved forward, I figured it would just be a great memory, but this, is keeping me up at night, and sending shock waves down my spine..

I "could" nix the application, but I completely decided against it, first he's a hard worker, he would be a good team mate, 2nd I would never do him dirty like that. I wouldn't stand in his way of trying to get a better opportunity.
I said, I will just let destiny have it's way, I will have to sort it out along the way.

Yes I've read the Saturn/Neptune. We have the opposition in the karmic houses. Yes a lot of the feelings described is what I have felt..
I have felt my entire soul was tortured, and burned, but never died during all this ordeal...
This by far had been the most difficult yet wonderful experience., yet I wouldn't wish this pain on any one.
What amazes me, is he's been right there next to me for over 10 years, but I would only watch him, never ever speaking to him.. Deep down inside I knew something, but I didn't want to know...

Can you believe all of this started because of a Pepsi!

posted May 29, 2014 08:07 PM            

I was at work, I was sooo thirsty and wanted a Pepsi, really bad, but I didn't have any change for the vending machine.. So I had to wait until I went to lunch to get a Pepsi. ..

As I was leaving for lunch, fishy was right at the door, he said hello and he held the door open for me, I looked in his hand, and he had a PEPSI!!
Opened already...
I said omg thank you, I grabbed the Pepsi and took a big AZZ drink, and then handed it back to him, I said I was so thirsty lol (everyone was cracking up) his mouth was on the floor in shock
He didn't take the Pepsi back, he said nah go ahead and keep it, and walked away ****** off..

On my lunch, I stopped at the store and bought a Pepsi, I took it back to him, said I was sorry, explained I was craving a Pepsi, so bad, and you were just standing there with it, I couldn't hold back not taking it.
He laughed and said, it's cool, I understand.
He said, you know I would have bought you one!!! Lol

Anyways we ended up standing there talking for 3 hours
There was this instant connection, both of our lives and stories were so similar it was amazing.. Unbelievable amazing.
Even our kids are born 1 day apart. So much in common..

posted May 30, 2014 11:44 PM            

So I then asked him, the hard question, I said
Are you ready for this to be over?
He said, it's for the best...
I said that wasn't my question, are you READY for this to be over??
He stayed quite and he said, no I'm not ready for this to be over. It will always be in the back of my head, every time I see you...or I'm near you. I don't think I will ever be ready..
I asked, how do we maintain the balance then. He said I will respect your wishes, and keep my thoughts to my self... He said, we will just have to let destiny take its course, and what ever happens, happens...

posted May 31, 2014 12:08 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by IndigoDirae:
:hug:

All I can say is ... I feel you. And can relate. Deeply.

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posted May 31, 2014 04:01 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by LeeLoo2014:
Such an interesting article with Neptune and Saturn...I think it deserves an entire thread

My parents have an exact Saturn/Neptune opposition in synastry. They are born 9 years apart.

Saturn( father) in Aries 6th overlays 2nd, Neptune(mother) in Libra 8th overlays 12th.

No Neptune/Saturn emphasis for father in the natal, except for Sun quincunx Neptune.
No Neptune emphasis for mother in the natal, except for Moon sextile Neptune, Saturn emphasized however (and chart ruler).

No strong Neptune contacts in Synastry, but strong Saturn.

However in the Composite it translates as: Moon conjunct Neptune on MC square Saturn in 7th *with Moon 2 deg, Neptune 8 deg to Saturn).
Neptune intercepted, dispositor, Venus conjunct ASC.
Saturn rules 2nd house, opp Mars (2) forming a Cardinal/Mutable Grand Cross with MC/IC angles.

They both seem pivotal and equally emphasized to me.

So maybe the balance between these two is the actual clue to this Saturn/Neptune integration in a long term structure?

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Lol....I just posted a thread with this article earlier! I'd read awhile back about Neptune/Saturn aspecting and potentially what it could mean. Kind of scary actually, but explains a lot with the guy that seems to be a huge hangup for me, his taurus Saturn@11.00 is the peak in a Yod including my saggy Neptune@11.15 and my libra Pluto@11.02
Then his Neptune saggy@0.12 is trine my Saturn leo@2.50...this has been a topic of interest for me because it seems a collect these kind of relationships.

The thread- "Dangerous Love, Sacred Love....
"The Dance of Saturn and Neptune in Synastry"
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum35/HTML/000115.html

posted May 31, 2014 04:10 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Lioness:
Ok ladies, I had a heart to heart talk with him about this..
I expressed my concern about us falling back into the same pattern. He said he understood, and will never dis respect me..
He agreed that we need keep the door closed..

So I then asked him, the hard question, I said
Are you ready for this to be over?
He said, it's for the best...
I said that wasn't my question, are you READY for this to be over??
He stayed quite and he said, no I'm not ready for this to be over. It will always be in the back of my head, every time I see you...or I'm near you. I don't think I will ever be ready..
I asked, how do we maintain the balance then. He said I will respect your wishes, and keep my thoughts to my self... He said, we will just have to let destiny take its course, and what ever happens, happens...

I wish there was just some easier way...
I can't believe how difficult this is.

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posted May 31, 2014 01:04 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Gabby:
Wow, good job!
Are you completely ready for it to be over or do you wonder if possibly....if everything was right, taken slowly and maturely if maybe it could work out?
I think if it was me, it would be so hard not to ponder that, esp if I knew his feelings where still there....that's a special little vibe between you that's hard to ignore.
Not saying go for it, I'm just saying I can see how it would be a tough situation to be in.

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You know, it's a very complicated relationship between us..
Together romantically, it's unhealthy reckless, obsessive,
We become crazy insane people together. Like each other's drug addiction..

Non romantically, we are a power house together, mature, kind, always there for each other, give advice, discuss or problems, we tell each other almost everything. This bond between us is unbreakable.

So to answer your question, the romantic hope will always be there, the desire for it will not go away..
Being able to deal with it has gotten easier though.
No matter what I never won't to loose the friendship.

I'll better answer this question with his words, to me on the subject..
I'm not ready for it to be over, when a male/female has a bond that we have, romantic feelings will always be there. At some point the chances of us acting on it, are high, we just have to make sure we maintain the maturity level. Prey we aren't reckless..
At some point, it's bond to happen again..
But we should do what we can to get that in the past and move forward..
Then he went on to say,
There is one exception, if we ever have to go out of town together, he said, don't think I won't take you for a few drinks, don't get mad at a guy for trying... Lol
Other than that, I will behave...

posted May 31, 2014 01:39 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Astro keen:
Lioness, what do mean by it leads to 'no good'?

I think I'm missing something here. Or haven't read all.

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posted May 31, 2014 02:25 PM            

I'm confused because if you say there' so much romance and eroticism between you, why don't you just live it? Life is too short!

If two people who have so much magnetism between them as you say don't live their romance, then who does?

It's depressing...lol

posted May 31, 2014 03:06 PM            

He want let go of me, but at the same time he won't commit.
He wants more of a women, that he can control, and be the "man" with.. The traditional type of house wife.
(Cap Venus)
I'm more hey we are to equal parts of a team..
(Can Venus)
He has aqua mars, I have Leo mars.
Our styles are opposite.

That is so not me, I'm his Uranus great love..
If that makes sense..

So I don't fit into his "idea" of the perfect women, but he can't. Deny his feelings either.

posted May 31, 2014 03:22 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Astro keen:
Hey Leeloo, my thoughts exactly. Now this is a dp.

Sorry Lioness - a chorus of questions!

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posted May 31, 2014 04:06 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by LeeLoo2014:
lol yes Astro Keen. Sorry for flooding you with questions, Lioness, and thank you for answering. I am so sorry for what you describe
My opinion about this: drop him. And keep him as a friend and colleague, nothing more. You can do it. If it's very hard for you, you probably need to distance yourself even more, definitely not work together with him: this will probably work. A player will always be a player and any romantic/erotic relationship with a player is always in his advantage, and not yours (that's why he keeps you on your toes and doesn't give you definite answers. What did you expect? He'll never throw away a "cake" as you put it, this is typical for any decent player).

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Thanks. Well that's exactly what I have done. I've made it clear to him, and I have set platonic boundaries with him...
So then he goes and applies for a position, that would bring him even closer to me, I would have no choice but be near him every day all day, we hitch scares me.
A relapse would be inevitable. Just a matter of time..

Quitting my job, is not an option.

posted June 01, 2014 10:00 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by LeeLoo2014:
It must be so difficult to work closely with someone with so much chemistry when you decided not to get involved.
What you describe is reflected in his chart. He is the eternal bachelor type, isn't he?

There is an important part of your chart he's not covering, 4th 5th and 6th houses, where you need direct overlays. What if he is keeping you from meeting this Cancer/with Leo placements guy waiting for you? And for him too, the only one who could theoretically make him settle down has an opp to his Uranus with heavy placements on his MC, in my opinion.

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Excuse me for butting in, but why theoretically an opposition to his Uranus? Wouldn't a conjunction be better?

posted June 01, 2014 10:20 AM            

IMO, a conjunction to his Uranus will square his Mars and his ASC, so no stabilizing structure for his Uranus. Plus, he has a whole part of his chart empty right where his final "love house" is: the final dispositor of all his love rulers is Jupiter, so he needs at least some personal planets of the other in his 9th house and around MC (for Uranus to be stabilized in a Grand Cross). Most likely we are talking about a late Aries woman with Taurus placements. She would also close his Moon/Jupiter (love disp) trine making it a GT and partially complete his Venus/Pluto square and/or trine his Venus/ NN Saturn.

posted June 01, 2014 04:20 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Astro keen:
LeeLoo,

Your take on what would suit someone, in the sense of best fit, is intriguing. You should start a whole new thread to give some examples (beginning with me of course ) on how you work it out. And you are likely to be bombared with requests. It would be fun to see if people who are in fulfilling relationships found a good match as this method would predict.

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(beginning with me of course )

hehehe

posted June 01, 2014 04:26 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by LeeLoo2014:
Sorry, Lioness, we did some astrological speculation, but maybe this is not something you like to hear

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No worries, I'm not worried about it either way... But feel free to look at mine hehehe..

posted June 01, 2014 04:32 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Lioness:
No worries, I'm not worried about it either way... But feel free to look at mine hehehe..

I did marry (separated) a Virgo with Leo planets, but no cancer.

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posted June 02, 2014 12:26 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by LeeLoo2014:
It must be so difficult to work closely with someone with so much chemistry when you decided not to get involved.
What you describe is reflected in his chart. He is the eternal bachelor type, isn't he?

There is an important part of your chart he's not covering, 4th 5th and 6th houses, where you need direct overlays. What if he is keeping you from meeting this Cancer/with Leo placements guy waiting for you? And for him too, the only one who could theoretically make him settle down has an opp to his Uranus with heavy placements on his MC, in my opinion.

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Sorry for the late reply, I'm just now getting a chance to fully read everything.
Yes, he's an eternal bachelor, I doubt he would every be faithful to anyone..
But you know, I know him well and I know exactly who he is, I know thus about him..
If that's the life style he chooses, than that's his choice..
We have always been completely up front with each other, I have an insight into him, that he's not going to share with anyone else.
I'm not sitting around waiting for him, and he knows it.
So in a way, instead of loose me, he keeps me close as and accepting the friendship. Honestly it's both of us doing that.. There is that needing feeling between us.

What gets to me the most, is the more I pull away, the more I feel like, I get put even closer to him, and I'm feeling forced in a "universe" sense to maintain this..

Before, after we split up he was moved to another building, we longer saw each other every day, we maintained communication.
I then felt a need to pull away, so I did...
Then my building went under construction, and the ONLY place they had to put me, was in the other building, in HIS office..
We had no choice but to make up..

Then after I moved back, we had a disagreement, which caused some very extreme hurt feelings between us. I completely cut him out of my life for 3 months..
Every single day of this months, I saw signs pointy to him... A tow truck on the fwy, named "fishy tow"

I go into a store and accidently walked into a guy, in uniform, his name tag said fishy..

My son got a video game, and the narrator was "fishy"

The lust went on and on, it drove my to insanity!
I felt like a voodoo spell was cast on me.. ..

One day, he was sent to my building for a meeting, he left the meeting, and came into my office, and said, I just wanted to say hi..
We talked again, and then all of those signs went away.